the maw

what a beautiful morning

the word comes out of her like it's leaking from her brain, like she doesn't want to say it at all. like she's not even in control of her own body.

her eyes flash with the reflection of an unknown light, as she springs up and braces my shoulders. i can't stop shaking, i need this to stop, i need her to come back to her senses and stop trying to freak me out.

"sofia, please, stop!" i cry out, as she claws at me, her teeth bared in all their toffee-colored, shining glory.

they almost snap shut on my shoulder, so i throw her to the ground again, with a kick to the stomach. she howls in an alien sort of pain.

i don't know who, or what that is, but it's not sofia.

"what's going on down here? where did all that blood come from!" a voice parades itself down the stairs, in the ever-loving form of a cruel, ragged metaphor of a woman.

"finally." sofia croaks when she spots stephanie, her body twisting to face her like a dying contortionist. this isn't right, i want to throw up.

"you're awake. jesus, i thought you'd be asleep forever, you lazy bi-" trying to show power over the thing, our mother walks up close to her, towering, with her eyebrows furrowed. as she speaks, sofia rises, and drags her down. "get off of me!"

her teeth clamp down on stephanie's neck like a rotting guillotine.

she didn't even struggle. she was too busy ordering her around. her mouth is still hung open in shock, as sofia devours the sinewy flesh of her neck, covering the dried burgundy on her cheeks with fresh, red blood.

as she tears out her throat, i realize i need to get the kids away from this, right now.

i sprint out of the living room, with no regard for stephanie - she's a lost cause, i can't do anything for her now. she doesn't have a throat.

after basically tearing my bedroom door down, i let my chest fall in relief when i see wendy on the floor, playing with her barbies.

"what's happening?" she asks, but i won't tell her everything. she can't know what happened to the woman she's seen as a mother for her entire 4 years of life.

"nothing. let's pack some bags, okay?" i grab a backpack and some of her clothes, and stuff them in. she'll need socks, underwear, some toys to tide her over, and definitely shoes.

with no regard for style, i do the same for myself with a duffel bag, and eventually, i pack a bag for penny. we have to leave. i don't know where we're going to go, but we need to get out of this house.

"where we goin'?" her eyes are like polished coals, shining with the childlike innocence i need her to hold on to.

"out of town for a little while. road trip! fun, right?" i try to get her happy about leaving, because she won't come with us if she's not happy about it.

"yeah!" she grins, and picks up her little backpack.

"let's go get everyone else, 'kay?" i sling my duffel bag over my shoulder, along with penny's, and we leave the room to search for our brothers and sisters.

we check eddie's room first, because that's where the kids usually hang out. it's where all the toys are.

carson, eddie and chloe are in there, thank god. they were playing uno, but the cards have been discarded on the floor, so they can stare out of the window. i don't know what they're looking at. i can probably guess, though.

"guys, pack your bags. we gotta go." they should be old enough to understand that this is dire. we need to go immediately.

"what? why?" eddie retreats from the window, his face riddled with confusion, but still laced with that look of terror from whatever's outside.

"road trip!" wendy's smile is so sweet, that all suspicion dies. as long as she stays happy, we'll be okay, i'm convinced. the tension of the situation eases, so the kids, freshly traumatized, start packing their bags.

now that they're getting ready, i need to go find bennett and penny. they're probably hanging out in his room, smoking my cigarettes or something.

i burst into their room with wendy at my heel, as my heart pounds with adrenaline.

"bennett, pack a bag. i packed yours already, pen, we need to get going." they've been caught in the act of drinking alcohol, which i'd care about if it was mine, but i don't really care about that right now.

"what the f**k? why are we leaving? where are we going?" bennett's eyes are wide, as he hides the beer bottle. it's spilling everywhere.

"you'll see. just pack, and get out of the house as fast as you can, okay?" i drop off penny's bag, and pick up wendy.

"no! i don't want to leave!" penny scrunches up her face. i know i'm being unreasonable, but i really need her to help me out and just follow me outside.

"we have to! we're going on a road trip, just come along. please?" i'm trying not to scare them, but at the same time, they're somewhat mature enough to help me parent them. "just meet me outside in a sec."

"wait, road trip? we're not all gonna fit in mom's car." she still calls her mom, which i understand, i guess. stephanie's reign of terror started and stopped with sofia and me.

"yo, i can call nate! he has a van!" bennett's suggestion sounds like absolute hell. nate's our neighbor. i met him when i was sent here, because he was best friends with bennett, even though he's 3 years older.

he's been an asshole to me ever since we met, and i have no idea why.

"that guy? no way, i'm gonna drive. just pack and meet me outside." i need to leave wendy with them, as i take care of business downstairs. i don't know what to do, but i can't have them putting my siblings in danger. "also, wendy's coming down with you."

i'm met with complaints, and questions, but i don't have time to listen. i have things i need to do. i shut the door behind me, and race down the hallway.

they're coming up the stairs - i can hear them already. they're scraping the walls, groaning, screaming out. none of the kids can see them.

i get as close as i'll dare, and i kick stephanie in the chest. her eyes widen in dull, rotten shock, as she bends and breaks down the stairs, her bones snapping like dead wood.

next, i need to do the hardest thing i think i've ever done. i shove sofia down the stairs along with her.

as they're both lying there, recovering, i realize i can't just jump over them. they'll grab me.

i swing over the stair's railing, into the house's main hallway, and race into the kitchen. i'll get them into the yard, and i'll lock them out - that way i don't have to hurt anyone.

"come on, sof, come get me. you too, stephanie. i'm waiting." i grab the counter, and watch them stumble towards me, with their mangled limbs, and their emaciated faces.

even when sofia looks like she wants to eat me for a light afternoon snack, i can't help but feel like i could've prevented this. maybe if i got to her before this sickness did, maybe she wouldn't have ended her life.

"who does this little bitch..." stephanie tears of a portion of the wallpaper trying to get to me, so, keeping my eyes trained on them, i kick the back door open. "think she is?"

i step backwards into the yard, making sure that they don't pull anything. they keep following me, brainless as slugs. sofia trips on the step, smashing her head open on the patio.

blood and gore rolls out around her head, seeping in through all the cracks. my guts churn, as she fails to get back up again. how come she didn't die when i shoved her down the stairs, but cracking her head open on the concrete killed her instantly?

i don't have time to think about that, when stephanie's teeth are grinding together, gnashing like knives being sharpened.

she grabs the door frame with one bone-thin hand, and reaches out as far as she can with the other.

hold on.

if sofia died when her head got caved in, could i kill stephanie the same way?

all i can do is try it, i guess. i raise my knee up, and shoot my foot out, catching stephanie in the stomach. she hits the tile, so i run back in and pick up a chair.

only god can save me if this doesn't work.

i slam the chair's leg down into the center of the back of her head, as hard as i can. i do it again, and again, and again, until the grey, rotting material of her skull caves in. her blood is so dark it looks almost black.

my lungs feel like they're about to collapse, so i lower myself to the floor.

i can't breathe.

when the image of wendy pops into my head, i stand back up, and regain my senses. although i might feel guilty, i did this for the kids.

i did this for their own good, and it's better if they don't know.

behind me, i close the kitchen door, so they don't have to see her body. i retrieve my duffel bag from the stairs, and take a brief breath in as i put my shoes on.

"c'mon guys, hurry up! we gotta leave soon!" there's blood all over the floor, but that doesn't matter. all that matters is that we get out of this house. maybe even this city.

maybe we'll go to a national park.

"coming!" penny calls out, as if her bag isn't already packed. i'm glad they're not all down yet, because they would've heard everything.

as i check if i have everything i need in my bag, someone knocks on the door.

i peep through the looking glass, and guess who it is - my brother's weirdo friend, nate. i don't know why he's here, but he better not be planning on holding us back.

reluctantly, i open the door, just enough so he can see it's me. i might let him in, if he's nice enough.

"leah. hi." blunt, as always. i don't think we've ever had a conversation that's lasted more than two minutes.

"nate. what do you want?" i'm not wasting time with him, because i can hear everyone coming down the stairs. his head is very close to the door - unnervingly so.

"bennett called, said you guys need to borrow the van." he's a weird dude. like, what 18 year old guy owns a van?

"oh. well, we don't, so. bye." i try to shut the door, but he forces it back open, wider than it was before. "...did you hear me right? i said bye."

"yeah, i heard you. i can't stay outside for too long." he lets himself in, to lean back on the wall, and closes the door.

"yo, nate! thought you were gonna ditch me, man." bennett's here. great. now i can't decline the van, because if i do, he'll throw a tantrum.

"course not, ben. got the car outside, you guys all ready to go?" he still has that stupid baseball cap on. he's never taken it off.

"annie!" before i can tell him no, chloe races down the stairs with her backpack, and throws her arms around the asshole that smells like a locker room. i don't know why everyone likes him so much, he sucks.

"hey, chloe. you okay?" he smiles down at her, which is nice enough of him to be in this house, i guess.

"yeah! we're gonna go on a road trip. are you coming?" she releases him, and he has a strange look on his face. it's like he doesn't know what to say, which is bad, because he should say no, and leave.

"duh, he's coming." bennett rolls his eyes, as nate cracks open the door again.

i don't want him to come with us at all, but at the same time, we'd all fit in his van, and i know my way around los angeles like nothing else.

"alright, fine. you guys, get in the back of his van. i'll sit in the front." i'll have to read the map, obviously. plus, i want to play my own music. as my siblings file out of the front door, i catch nate's somewhat annoyed stare.

his face doesn't change in the slightest. he just nods, and turns away, leaving like he's just some chauffeur.

i just shrug, because i didn't really want to talk to him anyway.

quickly, i check upstairs, to see if anyone's still hiding up there, but all i can see is empty rooms and broken toys. there's dust settling in stray rays of light, and it'd be a beautiful, morose sight if there wasn't a trail of blood leading out of sofia's room.

i want some closure on her death.

so, i gently brush the broken-down door open, and slip into her bedroom. chloe's bed is completely clean, because she makes it every morning despite her age.

sofia's bed is also made, but there's a slight dent made by a bloody handprint.

the real mess of blood starts in the bathroom. there's still a large puddle of wet, dark blood pooled in the doorway, and there's only more in the actual room itself.

i kneel down by the bathtub. the stem of all the blood lies there with me.

along with a discarded razor blade, and a note soaked with drying blood. i unfold it, my chest beginning to heave.

'if you find this, i'm sorry.

i am dead.

if it helps, i haven't been alive in a long time, to tell the truth.

i was never right in the head.

i've been subject to torture from the moment i stepped in this god-forsaken house, and i'm glad to say i'm finally out of it.

so suck on that, stephanie. i'm out of your money-making scheme.

now for everyone else - i'm sorry, but i had to leave you. i had to go, and it had to be this way, and i'm sorry.

the only way i can make up for that is with the box under the broken floorboard in my room. my 'volunteering' job wasn't unpaid. take the money, and run. as far as you can get.

make a life for yourselves.

goodbye, and i love you.'

so my tears don't stain the paper, i tuck the note into my pocket. i kiss my fingers, and sink them into the deepest reservoir of her blood, to show her that even after death, i love her.

i sob for a moment, until i realize that she wouldn't want me to grieve when there are things to be done.

after i walk back into her room, i drop to the floor, and crack open that broken floorboard she was taking about in her note. there's a little purple box, with no lock on it.

the post-it note on top reads 'for my siblings'.

i open it, and inside is a gigantic sum of money. something like 5 grand. that'll be pretty useful if we're leaving, so i close the box and bring it with me, as i leave her bedroom for the very last time.

i won't waste time on looking back into my room, and all my keepsakes. i'll just cram the money into a handbag, along with my cigarette stash and a flask.

then, i'm done.

i can walk down the stairs, and feel the weight of my old life slipping off my back like tethered wings finally unsewn.

now the dust in this house can settle, the moonbeams can fall on silence, and the grass can grow, and thrive, in the ways we could never do. mold will spring through every item of food, mildew will bubble through the walls, just as the world intends.

this house will rot like its owner.

as i shut the door, i'm somewhat glad it will.

the van starts, with me in it, and everyone else. we're out, i think to myself. after all this time, we're out of the money-maker's greedy, ever-hungry maw.

what a beautiful morning.