Being The Missus

Chapter 4 - Hercules's Trials and Tribulations

Khushi could barely fight the blush staining her cheeks. Of course there was Nani's narrowed eyes on one end and Mami, Akash’s mother’s, comments on Khushi's revealing attire - but the moment Arnav's eyes bogged out and Shanaya fumed aside - Khushi felt it was her first step to victory.

“Khushi Das Gupta Sen Roy - f**k Khushi you’ve got a freaking big name!” NK slapped his head.

“Sorry!” Khushi mumbled.

“i***t! Now listen, six steps, man in your footsteps!” NK laughed deviously, which honestly even freaked Khushi out.

“Step 1, makeover baby!”

"So, will you teach me how to play this?" Khushi asked, her voice light and husky. Arnav’s eyes darkened, he knew what that tone meant.

"Arnav, we don't have the time to train someone!"

"Shanaya, we’re hardly in a competition!" Khushi smiled sweetly at Shanaya.

Arnav nodded with Khushi in agreement and eased his hand around her waist, guiding her to a bent position. "This gives more balance and accurate position to jump. And in court you need to sprint more than run."

Khushi nodded innocently, following him to the 't'.

"You know what-" Arnav started, suddenly watching her "-you should practice sprinting for some time." Turning back to Shanaya, Arnav gave a dismissal hand "We'll play tomorrow."

Shanaya grumbled and walked away along with the others leaving NK, Arnav and Khushi alone.

NK slipped next to Arnav, watching him train Khushi.

"Interesting... so you're going to make her a bit active before she hits court?" NK asked, watching a dazed Arnav nod noncommittally.

"Uh-huh. Otherwise her muscles might get cramped from sudden activities on day one-" Arnav fibbed, his eyes lighting up with the site of his work.

Step one successful!

NK grinned, although at one corner he saw that when Payal was about to kiss Akash, the latter was interrupted with a phone call. Poor girl tried once again, her dear mother in law stepped in between. Hmm, something had to be done in that department too.

Going upto his main victim, Arnav, NK dramatically leaned against Arnav's shoulder "Ah... the view, now I know why you're training her with jumping exercises - oye Nanav!" NK yelled as Arnav thwacked him on his head and sent him back into the home.

"Anything wrong?" Khushi asked, her face flushed from the exercises.

"Oh no nothing... continue." Arnav grinned, watching his lovely wife bounced up and down.

Ah the view!

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"PLEASE!"

"No no no..."

"Arrey yaar! One, please!" Khushi almost prostrated before NK as he held a plate of cakes above her head.

"I said no Khushi! Now don't give me those puppy-dog eyes. What's the use of working out if you're going to munch on a million cupcakes? Now this evil deliciousness is allowed only once a week!" NK ordered, munching two himself.

Khushi pouted, half groaning as her muscles ached here and there, "That was done only to seduce Arnav!"

"Rightly spoken child-" NK said, hiding his laughter. Poor Khushi hadn't grasped the entire power nor meaning of seduction yet, "-but you see, to have a happy marriage you need a happy you. You need to be sexy for yourself, first." NK said, munching a chocolate cupcake himself.

"Haw, sexy! Nanhe don't say such things out here! What if-" Khushi bent and whispered "-someone heard us?" NK mused for a few seconds.

"Well if Nannav heard us then I'm dead meat, but if anybody else heard us..." NK grinned, spotting an interested Payal eavesdropping. "... well that person will have a spicier married life! I mean come on! I've been waiting to get embarrassed in this house but neither Nannav nor Kash have any action, I mean there's no babies nor do I catch anybody making out behind the pillar. I mean you guys are newly married or what?"

"NANHE!" Khushi gasped, "Have some shame dear brother! And anyways, that isn't everything in marriage. There's love and trust and loyalty." Khushi exclaimed, scooping a spoonful of strawberry yoghurt.

"Yes but as you know that all men - excluding me - are classified idiots and unless their partners tell them that they love them... they don't really understand that. So whatever YOU WANT, you need to SHOW IT TO HIM." Khushi frowned at NK's louder than required voice.

"Okay..." She said warily.

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"Yes Anjali... and I don't think he is giving any wrong example. I mean NK's parents are rather happily married." Payal coughed, remembering the time she skyped NK's over enthusiastic parents on their anniversary. It’s like Austin King and Manika King were not fifty but rather the twenty year olds who had met at a foreign student exchange.

"Still, he should think twice before become a that therapist." Anjali whispered, her traditional side unable to utter ‘s*x’.

"At least Khushi is asking the right person for help. If she came to me... with the things between Akash and I..." Payal sniffed and broke into an ugly sob, shocking Anjali out of her wits.

"Now now, I am not that ignorant of things. But what's wrong between you and Akash?" Anjali asked.

"Nothing is wrong but thanks to my dear mother in law and Akash's over eagerness to being a good son, there is literally..." Payal blushed sadly "Nothing."

Anjali gasped, forgetting the presence of the holy deity before her.

"Since how many days is there no..." Anjali trailed off, feeling guilty as tears swarmed in Payal's life. "Not days... months!" Payal wept on Anjali's shoulder.

God that good for nothing Akash. With a wife as sweet as Payal, how come there was no... action!

"Khushi even suggested me to call Lavanya. And she did help me little bit, but how much can self mast-"

"-ugh, yes, I understand Payal." Anjali coughed, awkwardly wiping Payal's tears. Frowning deeply, Anjali thought about the crisis in hand. On one hand Arnav emotionally neglected Khushi and on the other there Akash was physically neglecting Payal.

This was an emergency.

"Payal..." Anjali started, dreading the words coming out of her mouth "I think you should listen to everything NK is saying."

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"Khushi remember! Step two - you need s*x!”

“HAW-umph!” Khushi protested as NK pushed a small orange in her mouth.

“Listen to me woman! No shying away from your husband - blush all you want, but don't take a home run when he wants to come close to you. Don't you want him too? Now even the Lord wants you two to be together? And I am not saying be shameless, but shouldn't you be confident about your emotions... shouldn't Shanaya know her place?"

NK's words haunted Khushi. With every single drop of courage in her body, she brought her hair to the side and pinned her forest green sari to perfection. Standing at the edge of the kitchen counter, she nervously showed NK thumbs up.

Grinning from the other end, NK danced in joy to see Khushi as sweet and tempting as an innocent seductress in the kitchen. Erm... well this was after all Arnav and Khushi - so it was natural that their play would start with her baking cake in the kitchen instead of actual foreplay in the bedroom.

"Hello hi bye bye..." NK jumped in shock to find his aunt - Maasi, Akash’s mother, Payal’s terror and a makeup disaster, a.k.a Manorama, trot towards the kitchen while yelling into a distant friend on the phone.

"Haye re Nandkisore! (Oh my God!)" NK shrieked and dragged Manorama aside.

"MAASI (aunty)... I mean Maasi, you can't go to the kitchen!"

"Bhy not?" Manorama snickered (although proud of her English) when NK held a grim face.

"Maasi ji, it's a secret... they say that nowadays men above the age of 50 are having-" NK stopped for a dramatic pause.

"Habing bhat?" Manorama asked, her purple lips pursed in tension.

"AFFAIRS!"

"HELLO HI..."

"Mausa (uncle) bye bye!" NK said, half crying as Manorama's phone fell on the floor. Just as he was relieved in seeing Manorama distracted, to his horror her dear husband - Manohar - was heading straight to the kitchen.

"Maasi look!" NK whispered, "The man who never enters kitchen is going there! What is he doing? Till date he has never taken a glass for himself. If you ask me, take him to the room and interrogate! Interrogate about his new secretary - Bobby."

Manorama looked stricken with grief! Her husband's secretary had the same name as his favourite film character's name - Bobby? Sudden images of a girl in a mini polka dot blouse and tight skirt frivoling with Manohar (who himself had a wig and colourful pantsuit) came into Manorama's mind.

Just to his luck, his poor uncle began singing "Hum tum... ek kamre main band ho... aur chabi kho jaaye (You and I... to be locked in a room... and the key's to be lost forever!)" Before NK could blink, Manorama ran to Manohar with an admirable speed and dragged him by the collar;

"Hello hi bye bye, keyj getting lost! You come to our room, aapke andar ke Rishi Kapoor ko kaisan nikalte he aap dekho (just wait and watch how I remove your hero from your blood!)" Manohar shivered with fear as his wife thundered with boiling rage.

NK barely stretched his arms to relax when he saw Anjali walking to the kitchen.

"DI!" NK ran and threw himself on the floor before her.

"NK! What happened?" Anjali shrieked, feeling him bent on her feet and pulled him up.

"Di, why do you work so much? Is this how you pay your brothers for their sacrifices! We just kept you in the house to pray or go to kitchen?" NK cried, holding her shoulders.

"Oh! But I also go to office-" Anjali, although suspicious, was touched by his gesture. "And NK, I'm just going to fetch a glass of water, don’t worry I know where the water-"

"NO!" NK almost shouted, then calmed and hugged her "Di, What am I there for? Do you want me to tell Nanav that you don't even sit at home! HARIPRAKASH!" NK yelled for the hassled butler.

"Yes sir?"

"What are you doing, what are you paid for? Go get some water for Di, and get the bottle only from my room, not the kitchen - understand!" NK snapped at the old butler who rushed away.

"NK, what has happened to you?" Anjali laughed, ruffling his head.

"Di, what has happened to you! A girl of your age shouldn't be just in the kitchen or praying or working millions of dollars in public relation - okay wait you should -but I’d rather you meet men of interest." NK coughed while Anjali paled in shock. Did he know about her secret crush on Aman?

"W-wwhat?" Anjali stammered.

"Hmm... by the way Aman had called me about..."

"About what?" Anjali squeaked, mentally killing Aman for telling about how they accidentally kissed one night.

"About... *cough*"

"Uss Aman ki toh main... (That Aman!)" Anjali grumbled, walking away even before NK could answer her. Quickly sending a mental 'I-am-sorry' to Aman, NK looked around for any more intruders. To his terrible fate, Akaash and Shanaya were walking towards the kitchen.

"NO! I mean Shanaya, what’s up! I heard from Nannav yesterday that you’re a mother of a six year old, how sweet and boy you’ve maintained your figure! But, why did you pull him out of school in Dehradun and bring him here in Delhi?" NK asked, surprised at Shanaya’s panicked face. Strange.

With Shanaya gone, NK looked at his next victim - Akash.

Acting as if he never noticed Akash, NK sighed "Poor Payal. She can never tell..." Akash's ears perked, his thoughts about getting a glass of water forgotten.

"Poor Payal? Can never tell?" Akash wondered, peering closer to NK's sad face. "If only Kash understood. A women left unloved... neglected. She would go..."

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-" Akash stopped himself. God, he hadn't given time to Payal but she couldn't have thought to have relieved the stress through other methods, could she? Feeling the anger every Roy feels entitled to, Akash metamorphosed into the classic angry man and marched all the way to his bedroom.

"Payal is only mine!" Akash's caveman brain growled.

With that NK collapsed on the sofa with utter relief.

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Why the hell was the bedroom door locked? Akash thought frantically while shoving the duplicate key into the bedroom. Locking his door shut, he searched for a predator, any clue when suddenly he heard a soft moan.

All blood rushed south as he heard faint whimpers from the bathroom.

Half of the angry blood boomed into his head.

Who dare take advantage of his wife!

Breaking into the bathroom, Akash's mouth hung open as he found his naive little wife in the bathtub, her hands working nervously on giving her itsy witsy bit of pleasure.

Payal stopped between a scream of mortification and pleasure, to watch her husband stare at her with shock and something else.

"Aa... I..." Payal fumbled, reaching out for a towel to only find it swiftly in Akash's hand.

"So, what all did I miss?" He grinned.

Oh sweet mother of God.

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NK jumped at the sound of the fateful bell and rushed towards the door to find Hariprakash run into the kitchen.

"HARIPRAKASH!" The poor old butler stopped to find himself embraced by the man who had shouted orders to him a few minutes ago.

"What are you doing Hariprakash bro?" NK cried.

"Uuh... water for Arnav sir." Hariprakash mumbled when NK took him into another hug. "How much will you work Hariprakash bro? What are we kids there for? Just because you are a butler doesn't mean you are a butler. You are the Alfred to my Batman!"

Hariprakash rubbed his teary eyes and blessed NK "Ab rulaega kya (Now now, will you make me cry!)! But NK bro, who is this Alphred?" NK facepalmed himself and shook his head.

"Nobody, just please go and relax, Khushi is there to look after Na-Arnav. Now don't you want to become an uncle of your Khushi didi's children soon?" Hariprakash blushed furiously and laughed all the way back to his servant quarters, mentally applauding NK for his intelligence.

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Before Arnav could take a step into his house, he got scared out of his daylights as NK grabbed his arms, his eyes wild with panic;

"NANNAV! Where were you mere bai! (my maid)" Arnav raised an eyebrow at NK's scream.

"I was in office. By the way, it's mere bhai (my brother).." NK dismissed Arnav's clarification and began to drag him to the kitchen.

"Why are you taking me to kitchen? Where's Hariprakash? HAR-" Arnav stopped mid yell, half cursing as NK slapped him.

“What the f-”

"Nannav, aren't you ashamed of calling your butler for a glass of water! Is this what I brought you up for?" NK cried.

"NK, cut the crap. You didn't even exist when I was born."

"You drongo! Don't focus on facts, focus on emotions. Are you so useless mate that you can't even take a glass of water for yourself!" NK chided, half praying to God as anger flashed in Arnav's eyes.

"What is wrong with you?" Arnav glared, angrily dropping his briefcase and storming towards the kitchen.

Crawling in front of the temple, NK sprawled on the floor "No... that's it... I won't play Love-Guru for anyone! I give up!"

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"Everyone has gone mad in this house! First of all where is every-"

Khushi stiffened, hearing her husband's rumble. She heard him stop, his footfalls measured till she could feel his breath hot against her ear.

"I must say... for the first time I'm grateful to have that i***t in this planet." He hissed softly while Khushi nudged him on his ribs.

"Don't call NK an i***t!" She growled, fighting a blush rising against her cheeks as Arnav bent to skim his lips across her shoulder.

"I must say, today is a day of surprises Khushi Sen Roy. First in the basketball court and now," His hands ran across the length of her green sari, pausing to lock his fingers across her waist chain.

Controlling every urge to run away as far as possible for her an unexplainable embarrassment, Khushi let her shyness get the better of her. "As if you didn't enjoy seeing me jumping. I later realised that there were some assets which bounced along and against gravity to create a rather flattering image."

Arnav chuckled at his wife's little complaint, amused that she couldn't tell that to him in the eye, "Oh so you enjoyed me watching you."

Khushi's hand squeezed into the batter, mischievousness creeping up her spine.

"Yes! So keep on watching me only, no touching!" Arnav stepped back, shocked as she smeared batter against his cheek. Taken aback at her unabashed giggles, he paused to realise that this was the same sari she wore on the night they danced first.

Khushi's laughter turned into a gasp the minute Arnav smeared the batter against her waist.

"I think there are two things you should know." He breathed against the pulse on her throat.

"First-" He started, tracing his fingers languidly against her skin "-there are other interesting places where this batter could be." Khushi's breath hitched as he locked his dark eyes against her aroused ones. With a swift flick of his wrist, he broke the chain against her soft skin.

"Second-" He leaned in "-do everything but order Arnav Sen Roy to not touch you." He laughed wholeheartedly when Khushi pushed against his chest and ran towards their room with Arnav in hot pursuit.

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