Love n' Dear

Chapter 62: Planting

Mom's birthday went well at binigyan siya ni Tito ng ticket at mukhang may honeymoon pa ata ulit sila kahit tatlong taon na ang anak nila na si Kerr. I also offer her itong mga regalong pinabibigay ng mga kapatid ko.

"Why they didn't visit her? I should have let them stay and tour around," Tito said. Ngumisi na lang ako dahil sa taglay na bait ng asawa nito. Mabilis naman akong yumakap kay Mama nang humihikbi na siya sa mga regalong nakahain sa kaniya.

Nagyabang pa ako kung anong meaning ng mga regalo gaya ng kitchenware na sana maisip niya iyong kambal kapag umiinom siya ng tsaa o ano pa man.

"Cheers for the best mom?" Tito asked, raising his wine glass through the mid air. Sumunod si Kyros at Karan at nagtaas din si Kerr ng baso niyang may lamang gatas. Kumawala naman ako sa yakap at itinaas rin ang glass ko at ganoon rin ang ginawa ni Mama na umiiyak pa rin.

Lord, half of my life, please give it to my Mom. That's the only gift I can give to her. 

--

Mabilis na dumaan ang mga araw na parang pumikit lang ako at nang magmulat ako, napagtanto kong bagong taon na. Kanina pang nag-re-ready ang dalawa sa paputok habang si Kerr naman ay may torotot at sa gilid ko ay magkayakap na si Mama at si Tito. Edi sila na ang sweet at pinapamukha sa akin na magkaaway na naman kami Luis.

Napilitan tuloy akong i-unblock siya kasi magbabagong taon na tapos galit ako sa kaniya. Ayoko naman na ang salubong ng new year ko ay sama ng loob sa kaniya. Tinanggap ko ang tawag niya na animoy abang na abang at alam ang oras kung kailan ko siya patatawarin.

"I don't like it."

Ano na namang ayaw niya? Ang dami niya talagang ayaw sa mundo. Kulang na lang sabihin niyang ayaw niya sa akin.

"You always block me whenever we have problems. You keep asking me for a break up, even if it's a joke to you, I don't like that attitude. If we have misunderstanding, we should talk about it."

Niyakap ko ang sarili dahil medyo lumamig ang simoy ng hangin at di naman alintala na December ngayon kaya talagang malamig. "It is because you're so annoying and you should try blocking me too," sagot ko. Gets ko naman siya, ayoko lang na umaming ako ang may kasalanan ngayon.

"No, I won't block you because I don't want you to feel what I'm feeling everytime you did it. It's scary that I have no means to connect to you. Please try not to do it again."

Oh? Kaya pala kapag magkaaway kami, sanay na akong hindi niya lang sinasagot ang tawag ko dahil nag-iisip daw siya at in-advice-an pa akong gawin ko iyon instead na i-block ko siya pero matigas talaga ang ulo ko.

"Fine, I'll try but this time it's your fault. I told you I want a cheese flavor but you order the sour and cream," panunumbat ko sa away namin ngayon. Kumain na naman kami sa labas at simpleng pagkain lang ang pinag-awayan namin pero naiinis pa rin ako sa kaniya. Ang linaw ng sabi ko na gusto ko ng cheese tapos iyong dumating iba sa gusto ko.

"And this, stop blaming me the things you did and asking for a sorry. I clearly told you I want sour and cream and you said it's fine since you want it for me. We argued again because I want you to eat what flavor you want but you want us to buy one so we can share and you're on a diet. What do you expect for that?"

"Kahit na, ikaw pa rin ang may kasalanan." Umirap ako sa mukha ni Karan na ginugulo na naman ako. Kung wala lang akong kausap, sinapok ko na siya.

"Alright, I'm sorry but next time I won't."

"Forgiven, Babe. I love you."

"Really? It seems that it's really my fault when it's you."

I laughed and open my camera so he can see his girlfriend really sincere about it. "Okay, I'm sorry, too and thank you for always understanding me. You always keep your mouth shut whenever I nag at you."

"It's not whenever, you nag at me everyday but that's fine, that's normal," he said, proving that I am always angry at him.

We both laughed with my immature side that he's trying to accept. I can see that he is still inside his room, probably doing something related to photography o basketball because he loves both of that thing.

"Are you that busy?"

"No, why? What's wrong? I'm all ears in you. I can also recite what you said since the beginning of this call."

"Then why are you stuck in your room? Why not try to talk with Renz or anyone, socialize with them."

"That? I'm talking to you and that's enough for me."

"Still, few minutes left before new year and I want you to maximize it. Say sorry to everyone you have been hurt and tell that you love them to people whom you wanted to say it. Come on, you can do it and I'm here, cheering you."

Nakailang buga siya ng hangin na parang kumukuha ng lakas ng loob doon bago nagsalita na, "I'm sorry."

"Why me? You didn't do anything wrong except the lunch earlier, the fries that I wanted to eat but we are fine. That's really nothing serious."

Nagpapabebe lang naman talaga ako sa fries at sobrang oa na talaga kapag iyon ang dahilan kung bakit magkakalamat ang relasyon namin.

"But I still wanted to say sorry. This year, you came to me unexpectedly and I gladly accept you but I don't know what to do. Everything is just overwhelmed and I hurt you unconsciously. I supposed to make you happy but I did the other way around and I'm sorry for inflicting pain to you. I know that you have suffered enough and I should have not add to the budern you are carrying alone and I'm sorry, really sorry."

Ito talagang lalaking ito, magbabagong taon na lang may pa ganito pa siyang message sa akin.

"Do I really deserve you, Mr. Luis Savvidis?"

"I love you and I hope I can make you less sad this year."

"Hey! You're supposed to say that you'll make me happy more than you did this year and not the opposite of it but I love you, too. Mahal na mahal kita, Luis ko."

"Should I say three mahal so it weigh more than your love for me?"

I laughed out loud hearing him saying it and with his mindset are just so weird and innocent and I don't know, something I can't even explain and imagine.

"Three minutes left, what is your new year resolution?"

"What do you want me to resolute? Any bad habits you less like?"

"What do you mean less like?"

"Because you love everything in me so I suggest what you less like so you won't worry that much."

"But I don't have in mind and I really love you just the way you are."

"My turn, I think it would be communication to me and to others. I know that you are expressive in the way you feel but try to open a little bit, okay? Try to share the burden you've been holding on. Your boyfriend is a basketball player and always in a gym, what's wrong to lift that sh**t, right?"

I genuinely smiled and open the beer that Karan handed to me. Sumilip pa siya sa screen kaya nakita niya iyong bebe time ko. Sumenyales lang siya na parang isang miyembro ng gang bago umalis na rin. Wala naman akong sinagot sa sinabi niya dahil hindi ko maipapangako. I have been trying to resolve everything on my own.

Nakabalik naman si Luis dahil nainggit siyang may iniinom ako kaya gumaya sa akin. Subalit ang kaninang lugar kung nasaan siya na kwarto ay napalitan ng makukulay na dekorasyon sa likod. Umingay rin ang paligid niya at mukhang naroon ang lahat ng kamag-anak niya. I can even hear Laimer shouting and hyping to the sound of the music while the other's are trying to check the time.

Less than a minute and I can celebrate my new year facing the man I got the best blessing from God. Sumilip ako sa paligid ko dahil nasa backyard kami at may mga lamesang nakalatag para sa pagkain. Maingay pa rin si Kerr sa torotot niya, si Karan na walang magawa kundi ang manggulo sa kapatid niyang si Kyros na may kabebe time rin ata at si Mama at Tito na masayang nakasandal sa isa't isa habang nakatingin silang dalawa sa kalangitan.

This would be the most exciting and thrilling new year's eve that I will celebrate and I'm feel very blessed.

"Happy New Year, Bee. Here's to a prosperous year with us." Saktong nagliwanag ang kalangitan at samu't saring pailaw o fireworks ang naglabasan. Natatawa pa akong makitang hindi magkaintindihan ang dalawang magkapatid sa pagpaputok. Sobrang naman akong nabingi sa paturutot ni Kerr sa gilid ko.

"Babe, oras na para putukan mo ako," I said, teasing him but he didn't wait for a second and just quickly end the call. Nangangamoy away na naman kami nito. Kasalanan niya, malandi itong girlfriend niya.

--

My year began with me being productive as ever and trying new habits. Luis has an eye for plants. Kaya siya may mga halaman sa bahay at kahit mismong sa kwarto niya dahil mahal niya ang mga ito. Nalaman ko iyon dahil nagtanong ako na bakit ang daming halaman na if ever one, isang araw baka maging gubat na iyong kwarto niya, nagtampo pa siya sa akin noon at doon ko nalaman na hilig niya magtanim. Dahil doon, naisipan niya akong isama sa boluntaryong pagtatanim na noon pa lang sinasabi niya na sa akin pero tumatanggi ako. But he said, one of his bucket list for this year is we both plant trees, cherish it for the new generation. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong trip niya pero sa wakas, napipilit niya ako.

"That's not how you do it." Hinablot niya sa akin ang maliit na shovel bago siya na mismo ang humukay para makapagsimula kami.

"Plating trees is not easy as what you think. You should have put your heart doing this so they will bloom in time. Or I should have not force you--"

"Hey! I can do it! And at least you should have encourage me a little bit or have faith in me." Lumayo ako sa kaniya at humingi sa kasamahan namin ng dulos para makapagsimula, na ako mismo ang gagawa. Kanina pa kasi akong naririndi sa pangangaral sa akin ni Luis. Sa hindi ko naman talaga alam ang pagtatanim. Akala niya ba napipilitan lang talaga ako? Kaya nga ako sumama kasi gusto ko ring matuto. Does he take me as someone who's head over heels with him? Di naman ako nagkakaila pero sumama talaga akong magtanim dahil gusto ko rin mag-try mag-alaga ng may buhay.

I fint it interesting how Luis' reaction whenever I see him watering the plants or buying new plant. It just he looks like someone who just got another reason to live for and I'm curious how to feel that.

"How is it?" Inayos ni Luis ang buhok kong nagulo dahil sa sobrang pokus ko sa pagtatanim at siya na mismo ang nagpuyod nito bago pinunasan ang noo ko. Mukhang tapos na siyang manita sa mga kabataang mali rin ang ginagawa gaya ko. I just heard na officer siya sa organization na ito, hiningan pa siya ng mensahe kanina para sa mga katulad kong baguhan na sumali pero sinabi niya lang na mag-enjoy kami at nagpasalamat na maraming bagong mukha siyang nakita at sana raw mas marami pa. Todo kilig pa nga iyong mga kababaihan sa kaniya. Ako naman nakasimangot lang through out the program kasi excited na ako magtanim pero ang dami pa nilang sinasabi.

"I'm fine and just go, do your part. I don't want them to see us---"

My sentence cut off when one girl approached us with one bottled water in her hand.

"I'm sorry if I disturb you but please accept this water, Sir. I just want to say thank you for teaching me how to take care of the environment." Nakayuko pa ito na parang ginto ang binibigay na tubig kay Luis. Natatawa akong nagkibit-balikat roon at kinuha ang watering can para madiligan ang tinanim ko. This is my first time digging the soil, putting seed and water it. It feels that Luis put me in this situation so I can learn how to wait and be patient. Hindi naman ibig sabihing nakapagtanim na ay okay na iyon, syempe kailangan ng araw-araw na pag-alaga rito.

"Ms. Violet, kindly water the plants there." Nautusan pa akong magdilig ng ibang halaman na iba ang nagtanim. Natapos kami sa ginagawa na halos dalawang oras din ang ginugol namin bago nakapagtanim sa bundok na itong hindi ko alam kung sino ang nagmamay-ari.

Nililinis ko lang iyong dulos na ginamit ko nang maramdaman ang presensiya ni Luis sa gilid ko na nakaaro ang kamay na susubuan ako ng tinapay. Nagmemeryenda na kasi sila pero napasarap ang pagdidilig ko kaya nawala sa isip ko.

"Let's come back here again," I said before opening my mouth to eat the brownies he gave to me. I find it tiring but I know what we plant today will be surely worth it for the price of hardwork we did.

I turn off the faucet and put the tools to it's proper container. Nakasunod naman siya sa akin kahit may ilang nagpapaalam na uuwi na raw sila.

"Ma'am, are you two in a relationship?"

I didn't expect the little girl who handed the bottle water to Luis is also the one who'll asked me that question.

"That's actually a secret but because you're curious. Yes, he is my boyfriend," I whispered then laugh. I'm crazy for wanting everything to be private but at the same time I wanted to proudly introduce him to the whole world. He is too good to be mine.