Love n' Dear

Chapter 4: Graduation

"Congratulations graduates!" the host said and we all clap, rejoicing that we are done but this is not the end but a new beginning.

"Look who said she'll not cry." Elle is teasing me, just because my love for her is greater than her love for me. I sniff and hug her.

"We will be in the same school, right?" I asked, kasi ‘di kami classmate sa college.

"Just different course or you can change your mind, and go try to manage your own business."

I don’t have any business, and that’s owned by my stepdad. Hindi nila iyon ibibigay o ipapamana sa akin, since, there are two real sons, who can do it and I’m not even expecting it to be me because I just want to be a chef and live together with mom.

"Congratulations! We’re college already!” Mas hinigpitan ko ang yakap sa kaniya. I’m almost there. Malapit ko nang mapatayo ang bahay namin ni Mama. There’s nothing wrong o have an assurance because life is full of uncertainty. What if one day, my stepdad woke up and changed his heart and abandon us? That’s bummer!

Ayoko na ulit mapunta sa paulit-ulit na sitwasyon, na wala kaming bahay, na patuloy kaming tumatakbo, naghahanap ng lugar na matatawag na bahay. I don’t know, Mom will never get used to it on how many houses we enter yet, never stay long on it. I’m getting sick of what we’ve been through. My mom will fall then we can make a family, a new house we can called our home but it won’t last. It will never last. It’s a miracle how my new stepdad lasted for four years. And I have this feeling of being paranoid because we went through a lot and tomorrow is not promised to anybody.

"Hindi pa nga lang enroll,” mapakla niyang sagot at dahil doon kumalas ako sa yakap, inayos ang nasira kong make-up dahil lang sa pag-iyak. She really loves to ruin my moment.

"Anyway, don't forget my graduation party. I’ll text you the details. I love you." I kissed her cheeks. Kulang na lang tumira ang labi ko sa mukha niya, sa sobrang paghalik ko.

"You’re so gross!” She pouted while wiping her cheeks with a handkerchief. "I need to go, send my regard to Ma'am and Sir." Ewan, pero never siyang tumawag ng tita or what, laging Mom and Sir. Maybe, sign of respect. I hug her one last time until I free her since her mom seems burying me alive with her looks because I keep talking to her daughter.

My stepdad handed me a bouquet of lavender while congratulating me.I politely accept it and greet him. It's been almost two weeks, when he accepted the fact that I am not a valedictorian. However, he still pursuing me that I will need to pay for my college, if I continue choosing what course I want because recently, he wants me to be a doctor but I know I can't do it and I am sure that I will not enjoy taking it.

"Invite some of your friends; we'll throw you a party the next week. Your dad's flight is around the time, and just drop by to greet and give you flowers. Enjoy your day with your friends."

I kissed my mom. "Congratulations, My dear,” she whispered while hugging me.

"Thank you mom, love you." I released her and just followed them entering the car, leaving me behind. Anyway, I'm still happy they make time for me.

I join my classmates having fun, greeting them congratulation, of how near we are with our goals and celebrate our graduation.

--

I almost puked while smelling the wine that Elle wants me to drink. After graduation, I tried attending some party of my classmates though we are not that close because I don’t want to stay in our home, alone with bodyguards and maids and I will look like a fool partying there with them.

I’m just glad, she texted me to have fun. I don’t know if she flee from her family or they let her go away. Ayokong itanong kasi ayoko ring itanong iyon sa akin. Matapos manood ng sine nagdiretso agad kami sa club, drinking nonstop.

I pushed the wine glass away from my face so I can distance myself from the lingering smell of it. Hindi ko talaga alam trip ng babaeng ito. She just mixed the wine we order and want me to drink it. ‘Di na nga masikmura ng ilong ko, ano pa kaya kung matikman ko?

"Too bad, this is nice!" She bottoms up the drink she made and I laugh how I saw her face grimaced with the taste, and immediately stood up but I held her hand.

“Saan mo balak pumunta?" tanong ko, more like teasing her. She shook her head and removed my hands from her, since she really needs to go to the comfort room.

I laugh watching her running away with her own trip. My eyes roam around and saw bunch of boys drinking. They are loud. Hindi ko na sana papansin, but I saw a familiar face.

I open my phone and find his name on my contacts. I didn’t notice he texted me yesterday, which the content is we need to talk but since I’m busy doing a beauty rest, because I don’t want to look stress on my graduation, I forgot to reply.

I look at them again before I smiled and replied to his text. He didn’t disappoint me because he replied easily, indicating the details where we need to talk.

"That’s horrible!” I watch Elle approaching me while cursing the drink she made.

"I know you can take of yourself, have fun!” I stood up at hinila pataas ang tube dress na suot ko, para lang mas lalong lumabas ang maputi kong binti.

"Home?" she asked, now sitting and still mixing drinks for another round. Hindi pa rin siya tapos sa mix-mix niya? Ba't ‘di na lang siya maging bartender?

"No, just doing some exercise.” I wink but she just scowled. I even heard her cursing me to death about what will I do. I didn’t bother replying, and went outside the club. I’m not shocked to see my bodyguard, they are always around me, spying every move I did. I let them drive me to the hotel and said, that I have to meet someone. Which is true, I will meet someone but I know they will still to report everything. Lagi namang ganoon, pero hinahayaan lang nila ako, of course I need to satisfy my needs. And it’s been a month since I had fun. I’m busy with my finals and the cold war na nagpalimot sa aking i-enjoy ang buhay ko.

I tie my hair to a bun so I can look neatly. Well, I just want to let him see clearly the top of my boobs because why did I even wear this dress if I want to hide it?

I claimed his lips, sucking his tongue, stopping him from uttering my name or what he wants to talk about. I don’t want to talk. I want to just go straight to the exercise part.

"We should sto-- " He stopped talking when I touch his manhood. Sino ba naman kasi ang may sabi na buksan niya ang pinto, kung kailan naka-towel lang siya?

"Should I stop?" I asked innocently, playing him with my hand. He just groans and pull me up, faced me to the wall and bend me. I’m not that flexible but when it comes to this activity I think I can do any position.

--

City lights are really breath-taking. After what we did, we went to the nearest Chinese restaurant since we are both tired.

"We should stop seeing each other,” he said. Now, this is what it is.

"Sure,” I responded and sip my water. We are not exclusive so I don’t have anything to say. But he must be lucky, we met for four times. I usually met guys two or three times, because I get turn off easily, especially if they are clingy, the way they text everything to me. Why would they report it to me? And as if I’m curious about them. We already agreed that pure fun and no feelings attached but they keep insisting. Some are dictating me of what I want to do, even the way I dress up. There is one time I’m so annoyed, how this guy prohibited me to not wear shorts, and revealing dress. Like the hell I care? They are not my boyfriend and I will wear whatever I want to wear.

He looks amused, then smiles a little. "This is why I really like you." He raised his glass of wine asking for a cheer. I smiled back.

"Too bad, I don't." I crossed my legs and cheer my glass of water.

If I’m not mistaken, he’s Troy. He's good, hindi ko naman siya kikitain ng apat na beses kung hindi. He never texted me nang napaka-corny na good morning and that's add to his points pero kapag nagkikita kami, he's very gentleman at filtered iyong itinatanong, na para bang well-versed na siya sa ganito, like he had a past girlfriend. Okay naman iyong trait niyang ganon, pogi points pa rin, but him being a boyfriend-material is not my cup of tea.

For me, love is more like a burden. This is me, I'm not up for a serious thing and just wanted to have fun. If there’s no man left for me, so what? I won’t tie the knot between man. I will die spending my time with my Mom, and if that happens, I am the happiest dead to be buried.

I offer him my right hand, asking for a handshake. I don't know if he'll accept it, but at least I’m cool about it. Why would I cry and beg for him? I know my worth.

"Cool!" he said and accepted my hand. "Congratulations on your graduation." Oh? He knew it? But how? Hindi naman ako nagkukwento at wala naman kaming chikahan session. Nag-me-meet-up lang kung kailan gusto namin mag-exercise and that's it.

I was about to ask why, when it was interrupted by his friend.

"Mah dude you keep dodging--" Lumapit sa kaniya iyong lalaki bago humarap sa akin. I’m shocked to see who his friend is. The world is really small.

"Girlfriend?" his friend asked him while his eyes on me.

I quickly replied that it's not and stood up. I haven’t eaten anything yet I have to get out and bid my goodbye because it feels like his friend wants me to stay away with them.

"See you around," Troy said but I didn’t bother replying a word. I continue walking. Of all people, why would Troy be friend with my stepdad’s son? Galit sila sa aming mag-ina. Akala ata ginayuma ni Mama, pero ‘di nila matanggap na patay na patay talaga Daddy nila sa Mama ko. And we’re not gold digger, maybe some of my things are from his Dad but of course, the money he gave to me was still kept in a bank account. I don’t spend any of it unless, it’s from my Mom.

"Does your Mom know this?” I rolled my eyes dahil hindi ko in-expect na susunod siya sa akin. I’m waiting for the elevator to be opened so I can go home.

"Isn't clear that I'm not his girlfriend?"

Di pa rin ata sola nakaka-move on. Umalis rin nga sila ng bahay at nagpunta sa Mom side nila. Parehong widow ang dalawa tapos syempre si Mama dakilang mahilig bumukaka nagkataon sa Dad nila naihain and the rest is history.

"Why are you here? Did you trick your bodyguard?" He’s standing beside me, scrolling through his phone.

"Can't I just enjoy my graduation party with friends?" I keep pushing the button to open the elevator because I want to run away.

"A friend, Louisse. I only saw Troy, friends are plural." He look at me from head to toe, examing kung anong suot ko ngayon.

Napabuntong hininga naman ako, there’s no way the elevator will be opened because it can clearly shows that the floor is getting down to the 3rd floor and I have to deal with this man. I faced him.

"Grandma is here. You should know how she can tie the knot between us, and Aril using you, if she saw you eating with him." Tinanggal niya ang coat na suot at inabot sa akin. But why would I accept it? We’re not blood related. But what did he say?

"Troy Aril, he's Elle’s brother," he repeated and because I ignore his coat, pinilit niyang ilagay na lang sa may balikat ko.

Hmmm? Why I didn’t know it? But come to think of it, Elle loves to tell story but not in a family category. Well, I also don’t want to ask about it because she’d expect I also did the same, which is not! I won’t open my family matters with her.

He even asked if I want to meet Kerr, my baby brother which is staying at my grandma’s pad. He’s the baby of my Mom and his Dad but I refused. He volunteers himself to drive me home.

"No thanks, I don’t want to be indebted to you,” I said, exactly the time the elevator open. Sa wakas! Makakaalis na rin ako.

"Mah sis, congratulations on your graduation." He claps his hand, showing how he’s happy and proud of me. I enter the elevator and remove his coat.

"Yeah, sure, go away." Malakas kong inihagis iyon sa dibdib niya.

"This brother of yours is so proud of you.” Buti na lang hindi na s’ya nagpumilit na suotin ko ang coat n’ya at inayos na lang ang tiklop nito para maisampay sa braso niya.

I rolled my eyes and as fast as I could, I click my desired floor so the door will be closed. We’re not closed but that does not mean we really hate each other. I still feel that they care. Every time I achieve something, I feel that they are happy of what I got and I belong to them, which are not true by blood. Maybe, because I’m the only girl. I have a big family yet they are all bunch of annoying boys but I admire how they are always proud of me, making me the most beautiful and happiest girl in town. Pero kahit maraming lalaking nakapaligid sa akin, I only want one man, whom I can hear saying how proud he is to me, my Dad, which will never happen.