Should I?
607 Words
Marinettes Point of View
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Should I?
The thought echoed through my mind as I held the sharp knife in my hand. I had gotten this one from the kitchen right after Chat Noir left.
Chat Noir. The one thing that kept me from pressing the blade to my skin. Every time my hand would bring he knife close to my skin, his concerned eyes popped into my mind. He cared about me. He actually liked me being around.
What am I thinking? He's only doing his job. He's taking his time away from saving people to take care of me. I am hurting all of Paris. I can't do this at all. Maybe I should stop with the knife and just end my problems.
I didn't have to worry about being Ladybug anymore, I had quit, Master Fu will find another one.
Alya didn't care for me anymore, so she would be fine.
Adrien never felt the same so he probably wouldn't even notice.
I knew that Chloe was only using me as entertainment, so she'll be fine without me, albeit bored.
And Chat Noir would just move on to helping somebody else, someone who was worth his attention.
Just thinking about not being missed cut a hole in my heart. Pain erupted in my chest as my eyes started to get watery.
Since I felt the need for a few more days for some reason, the knife would have to do for now.
I walked into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind me.
Looking at my messed up reflection, I touched he knife to my skin and drew a line across my wrist. It barely hurt anymore, it was as if my nerves were becoming as dull as my life.
Looking at the blood coming down my arm, I felt the pain in my chest die down a bit. It was if the pain was coming out with the blood.
Putting down the knife, I decided to have a little fun with my blood. I took my pointer and middle finger from my hand that didn't have blood coming out of it and touched them to my other wrist. Pulling them back, I traced a design on my upper arm, smiling as the lines merged perfectly together to create the painfully beautiful flower. Once my arm was taken up, I got more of my blood and started putting dots and lines on my face, smiling the whole time. This was fun!
Once my face was full, my cut had slowed bleeding. I picked up the blood-stained knife and made another cut close to the first one. Since I had run out of room on my body and still wanted to draw, I started on my bathroom mirror. I started with hearts, making several perfect little hearts, my blood dripping down a bit to create little streaks at the bottom, making them even more beautiful. I then drew a few smaller versions of the flower on my arm all over the mirror. I was smiling, happy, at peace. My eyes landed on something that made my happiness dissolve. A picture of me in pigtails, smiling at the camera taped to the corner of my bathroom mirror. Ahh, if only I knew then what I knew now. I took the photo off and horizontally ripped it in half. I took a drop of blood that was rolling down my arm on my pointer finger. I then drew a line across my neck in the picture since I was too clingy and cowardly to draw blood on my actual body there.
There, that looks better.
- Writer
