Episode 4
2563 Words
POV Tommy
I hadn’t seen Lydia in two years, not since the day she walked out and left me. She always said she would never leave me and when she did it broke me in two. I swore to her that I hadn’t done anything wrong, but she would’t believe me, and I couldn’t blame her because it did look really bad. I ended up going into therapy because I couldn’t get over what had happened. Her leaving me had sparked a deep broken place inside me. The memory of being left by my mum at such a young age had stuck with me for years and now the only woman I had ever loved, my little princess, had left me too it sent me over the edge. When she first left I just thought she was angry and that she would come back when she seen sense. That’s what she had done before when we had argued, then as the weeks passed I started to panic and that’s when I spoke to the big man. He was the last person I wanted to turn to but I was desperate to see her and she had changed her number so I couldn’t call her. All I knew was that she was with Chris but I didn’t know where. The big man said I should give her time and that she would come back when she had calmed down. I told him I couldn’t chase her and that I couldn’t beg her to be with me. I knew I had done nothing wrong and I didn’t want to beg her to stay with me. I wanted her to be with me because thats what she wanted. Then I seen photos of her online with Chris at a Christmas party in London and I couldn’t take it anymore. I caught the next flight to London to see her. I knew that I couldn’t live without her and I needed her to see that I hadn’t cheated on her. By the time I got to London it was Christmas Eve and I went to her flat in London to try talk sense into her. When I got there she wasn’t home. I sat outside her building in the freezing cold waiting for her to get home. After a few hours I finally called the big man and he said that they had all decided to go to Thailand to see Fran for Christmas. I was totally heartbroken that I had missed her but I knew that she would be back soon and I had to be there waiting for her. I spent Christmas Day with my dad and brothers and they said they couldn’t believe what had happened. I told them that I hadn’t slept with that girl but I got the impression that they didn’t believe me. I felt hopeless, I mean if I couldn’t convince my own family that I hadn’t done anything wrong how on earth was I going to convince her. I spent the next few weeks in London waiting for her to come back. I would spend hours outside her building. Every day there was loads of flowers delivered to her flat. I wondered who they were from and I dreaded to think of the amount of guys that would be waiting to replace me. After a few more weeks I was beginning to lose hope and that’s when she released a statement to the press without me knowing. It said that we had split up but wished each other well and that she was releasing a solo album that year. I was devastated as I read it. I still thought that there could have been a chance for us but now it was out there for the whole world to see I knew there was no going back for her. I was also hurt that the statement was more about her career than our broken engagement. I finally decided to go home to LA. My dad wanted to come with me because he said he had never seen me like that before. But I told him I would be fine and that I knew she would come back to me. But he didn’t seem convinced “Tommy I think you should accept the fact that you guys are over” he said as I left for the airport. And as I sat in the taxi his words raced through my mind. Was he right? Had I really lost her? I got home and started filming my next movie right away. I threw myself into my work to take my mind off the pain but in those next few months she was on every chat show, billboard and music channel and I was obsessed with watching her online and recording and rewatching everything she was on. Then a few months after she left me she was being interviewed on an English chat show the interviewer asked about her love life “yes I have a boyfriend” she said and I couldn’t believe my ears, the first time we split up she was single for a whole year before I won her back, and when she split up with that Irish wanker Mick she was single for two years before she stared seeing Stefan. I didn’t think for one minute she would be with someone else so soon. I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me. That’s when I turned to Fran because although we hadn’t been close friends when I was with her, him and I had been mates for a long time before that. And I knew that he had feelings for her too. We were like a lonely hearts club sitting around longing for her. He couldn’t believe she had a new boyfriend and within about ten minutes he had the guys full life story but I didn’t want to know, I couldn’t hear it, I was the lowest I had ever been in my life. After that I threw myself into work and working out. I wanted to do well for myself, I needed to show her I could look after her and I wanted to look good for when she came back to LA. Every now and then I would hear from either the big man or Fran that she was planing on coming back for a while but she cancelled at least five times. Every time I had my hopes up and when she cancelled I was back to square one. I would become really depressed but I had to put on a front that I was fine but I was miserable. The big man started giving me a hard time because I refused to go out and chase woman with him. He said now that I was single and famous that I could have my choice in women, but I didn’t want anyone else, I only wanted my little princess. About a year after we had split up, me and the boys were on a night out and the big man was trying to get me to be his wing man but I couldn’t have been less interested. He was trying to get a group of girls attention and that’s when I realised it was Lilly and her friends. I had been seeing her for a couple of weeks the year Princess and I had split up the first time and she was a nice girl. She was nothing like Lydia, in fact she was her complete opposite. Lydia was outgoing and funny as well as being drop dead sexy although Lilly was a catwalk model she wasn’t in Lydia’s league. Lily was really tall, skinny and she had blonde hair. She was quiet and kept herself to herself. We ended up chatting and I took her back to my place. We had s*x but it wasn’t the same as it had been with Lydia. My princess was sexy as hell and confident and knew exactly how I liked it but most importantly she was hard to get. The fact that Lilly had came home with me on the first night after I had dumped her before made me think that she didn’t have any respect for herself. And to be honest if she didn’t respect herself then why should I have any respect for her. The next day the big man called to say he was proud that I had finally broke my drought. I was sick of his constant digs so I decided to start seeing Lilly to keep him off my back. And to stop me from looking like a loser in front of my mates. Before I started seeing Lilly Stacey had offered to set me up with one of her friends because she said I seemed lonely. When I said that might be a bit weird because she was best friends with Lydia. Stacey said I was being stupid that Lydia wouldn’t care and that she didn’t give me a second thought. I couldn’t have people feeling sorry for me so I started seeing Lilly to hide my heart break and Lilly was the best girl for the job, after all she was easy going and pretty low maintenance. I didn’t need to put in too much effort with her which suited me. The fact that she wasn’t famous and she didn’t have two band mates obsessed with her was a bonus. But it was obvious my heart wasn’t in it. I could have s*x with her but it wasn’t intimate like it was with Lydia it wasn’t love. And she was never really into it, I actually don’t think she enjoyed s*x she would just lay there absolutely lifeless. Although she was pretty lifeless all the time anyway. I think she knew deep down the relationship was just a front but she kept quiet and seemed happy. Probably because being with me raised her profile which meant she was invited to Hollywood parties and I opened a lot of doors for her career. Lilly was good looking in her own way but I constantly compared her to my princess. When I caught her listening to Lydia’s Album I gave her a hard time. She obviously knew it was a sore spot with me. She never mentioned Lydia ever, she never asked what happened with us and although I thought it was strange I was thankful for that. Then after a year of Lilly and I being together The big man told me Lydia was coming back to LA for a while. My heart skipped a beat, the only reason I was still friends with him was to keep me posted on where she was and who she was with. I was excited when he said she was coming back but I thought it was going to be a let down again and she would cancel at the last minute, then when I seen her walking down the big mans stair case at his party I nearly fainted. She looked incredible, she was sexy but girly and absolutely perfect. The real killer was she was the happiest I had ever seen her. It reminded me of when I first met her and she was carefree and playful. She was really nice to Lilly which was kind of her but that was just the way she was, she is beautiful inside and out. She invited us to her house for a barbecue and to meet her boyfriend, I wanted to stab the prick, all I knew was his name was John and I think he thought he was a joker. She smiled when she spoke about him and it annoyed the s**t out of me. The day after the party I told Lilly to go out and get herself something new to wear and get her hair done, I wanted her to look good to show I wasn’t a total loser sitting about pinning for my princess. Lilly didn’t ask why she just did as she was told. When we got to Lydia’s house the one that I had shared with her all sorts of memories came flooding back to me. I looked around the old place and smirked, this clown John might live here now but there isn’t a room in this house I haven’t f****d her in, I thought to myself. We went through the house and out by the pool and her body guards Harry and Danny were standing by the pool house “alright Harry long time no see” I said but he just nodded his head and gave me a small smile. We had been mates before Lydia had left me and although she was talking to me he still looked pissed off. Danny said they are inside when we stepped in Stacey and Carmela and Joanna were standing cheering as Chris, Fran and Lydia were playing one of their old songs. Fran had that stupid look on his face staring at Lydia that he always did on stage. I never thought he was very good at hiding the fact that he wanted her. They had just finished the song and she had her guitar and dark shades on with tiny little shorts high wedges and a vest top and she looked hot as f**k I was hard just looking at her. It reminded me of a time before I met her and I used to watch her on TV and I was crazy about her. I still was but in a different way. I was glad I was wearing my sunglasses so I could perv over her without everyone seeing me. She came forward when she seen us and grabbed Lilly into a hug then gave me a kiss on the cheek I could feel her t**s press against me and I felt like grabbing her and f*****g her in front of everyone. I looked around and there was no sign of this clown John, I wondered where he was. Then Carmela requested the next song “the big mans not here so I’ll play the drums” said Lydia. I had no idea she could play the drums. She sat in the seat with her legs apart and I was about to explode she looked so f*****g hot. When the song ended we all cheered as the big man walked in. “Are you playing the drums gorgeous? your in my seat ” he said swaggering over to her he lifted her up onto his knee and she giggled, I wanted to throttle him, and Fran didn’t look happy either. They played another song but I didn’t know this one, then a loud noise came from outside, it was a helicopter. She jumped to her feet “that’s John back from the city” she looked so excited “listen big man if he asks what height you are say your only 6 foot, I had to tell him that or he won’t like you, try and bend down as much as you can, and Fran he isn’t a nutter” she ran out as the helicopter landed and ran around the pool in her huge wedges. We all stood looking out as a man dressed in a black suit opened the door to the helicopter and John emerged…
- Writer
