He Called Me Kid. Disaster Engagement Series, Book 4. Lynn Smith

Episode 10

An hour or so had passed and I looked across the pool to check on Joanna. She was passed out drunk and sleeping on a sun lounger. John had made us all Sylvia’s and she had drank Carmela, Stacey and her own. And she was smashed. When the girls left it was the first time I had ever been alone with her. It was the perfect opportunity to get some info out of her “So how’s things going with Fran?” I asked “not good” she snapped. I was totally surprised, not because I thought they were good together but because I didn’t expect her to be honest with me “why? what’s wrong? I thought you two were getting on” I could hear myself lying but I just wanted to know what the hell they were doing together “Well the s*x has totally stopped and he doesn’t like me when I drink” I didn’t blame him “why don’t you try and spice up your s*x life a bit” I said trying to be encouraging “listen darling the only way Fran could get it up for me would be if I dressed up like you and had an annoying Scottish accent” “what does that mean?” I asked “Don’t pretend you don’t know what he’s in to” I shook my head “I really don’t” she rolled her eyes “he’s obsessed with you that’s what I mean” I knew that she was just a jealous b***h and this was all bullshit “no he isn’t” I protested, after all I had convinced myself before that Fran had feelings for me and I had been left devastated when it turned out not to be true. “yes he is and you know it” she was such a b***h and I actually wanted to slap her. Fran was lovely and I wanted better for him than this piece of work “the only thing I know is if you break his heart I will break your f*****g jaw” her eyes were wide as I let the threat hang in the air between us then she stood up and staggered over to the other side of the pool and I carried on reading my magazine. But that was a while ago and by now I was worried about her because she was lying in the same position for ages and she looked like she was dead. I got up and went over and she was passed out cold so I put a pool towel over her and then went into the kitchen. To my surprise Fran and John were at the kitchen table. They were whispering when I went in but I didn’t want to ask what they were talking about “Hi guys, is everything ok?” I asked but they both just nodded their heads. “Listen I think Joanna might be dead, she haven’t moved in ages” they both burst out laughing “it’s not funny, I sat down next to Fran. If she is dead I will be kind of glad” I said and took his hand “and whys that?” asked John. “Because she said I had an annoying voice, so I told her I was going to break her jaw” they both were laughing “you don’t have an annoying voice kid, you’ve sold billions of records, she’s just a b***h” I looked at Fran to look for his reaction. But he just rubbed his forehead and said “he’s right she’s just a b***h” and then they both started laughing “are you drunk Fran?” I asked “I’ve had a couple Sylvia’s” he said holding up an empty glass “oh my god, are you drunk John?” “I’m pissed kid” he said with a huge goofy smile “I love drunk John, we should go out, we can leave Joanna’s dead body until the morning. Oh my god we should have a band meeting” Fran looked excited “we should have a band meeting, but John can come” said Fran “band meetings and drunk John are my two favourite things in the world. I’m going up stairs to get ready, John you will be the first non band member to ever be invited to a band meeting” he was still sitting smiling his head off “I feel honoured Kid” he said “make us another few Sylvia’s and I will get ready” I ran upstairs and quickly got showered and changed by the time I came back down stairs John was passed out drunk on the sofa in the living room. I put a little blanket over him and kissed his face. Fran was still sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer “drunk Johns passed out Gorgeous, and Joanna is still dead out by the pool” I stood with my hands on my hips “well that’s the band meeting cancelled” I sat down totally deflated “are you ok Fran? you look sad” he took a deep breath “John was telling me that Joanna came onto him” I couldn’t believe my ears, my blood ran cold, why didn’t he tell me? did he want to sleep with her? Was he encouraging her? I couldn’t go through all that again. The thought of walking in on John in bed with a hotel maid made me want to throw up. “What did he say?” “he just said that Joanna tried it on and he knocked her back and that I should have a bit of respect for myself and dump her” I took his hand “he’s right honey, but why didn’t he tell me?” “I’m sorry I thought you knew, I thought thats why you didn’t like her and why you said you were going to break her jaw” I shook my head “no I told her if she breaks your heart I would break her f*****g jaw, and now she’s done this” I took one of the Sylvia’s and drank it in one. “be carful with those, I’m really drunk from just a few of them, they’re really strong” I couldn’t help but smile “I’ve missed you telling me what to do” we both laughed, “anyway he’s right, I’m going to dump her” and I was relieved “good because you deserve so much better” “to new beginnings” he said and we clinked the last two Sylvia’s and drank them whole. We sat talking for a while and I was beginning to feel really drunk. He opened a bottle of vodka and we both had another few drinks “I know it will be hard for you to walk away from her but your doing the right thing” he looked at me like I was nuts “it won’t be hard, I don’t give two shits about her” we both laughed. I got up to pour us another drink and I could feel myself swaying. Those Sylvia’s and the vodka had went straight to my head. Fran came over and put the empty glasses in the sink. We stood at the counter and I could feel him swaying too. “if you don’t give a s**t why do you seem so sad?” He started to shuffle from one foot to the other which he only did when he was nervous “it’s other stuff” he said “oh right” I knew not to push it. “And I can’t help but think” he rubbed his forehead “what honey?what’s wrong?” I grabbed him into a cuddle, he hugged me back “what’s wrong honey?” He seemed so hurt and I would have given my right arm for him to be happy “I’m embarrassed that she fancies John” we were face to face. “It’s just what does John have that I don’t have?” This wasn’t like Fran to talk this way and he was starting to worry me. I grabbed his face with both my hands and forced him to look me in the eye “Nothing Francis, absolutely nothing, he hasn’t got a thing on you. You’re handsome and talented and kind and sweet and any girl would kill for a guy like you because you’re perfect, and you make every other guy in the world seem like s**t. No one can compares to you” he looked at me like he was fighting with himself then he stepped closer to me and he kissed me, it was soft and gentle and I was shocked, this was my best friend, what was he doing. Then he put his hands at either side of my face and the kiss became deeper I could feel his hard on press against me and it felt incredible, but I had to stop it before it went too far, but it felt so good, it felt right. I put my hands through his hair like I didn’t want him to ever stop. I know that I was drunk but I had an overwhelming feeling that I didn’t want to let him go. Then his hands slowly travelled down my body and stoped at my bum. Frans hands were on my bum! Then I remembered that John was in the next room, my lovely John and I pushed him away “Fran I’m sorry, it’s not fair on John, he’s a good guy I would never want to hurt him” he looked shocked. But I don’t think it was because I had pushed him away, I think he was shocked that I had kissed him back for so long “you’re right, I really like him, he’s a good guy and if he looks after you and treats you well then that’s all I care about” “he does Fran, I’m sorry about kissing you I’m just really drunk. Those Sylvia’s are no joke” he smiled “no it’s my fault, I kissed you. I just wish I could meet a girl like you” I could tell that he was just hurt because of what Joanna had done and that he could have been kissing any one it just happened to be me. “you will meet someone nice as soon as you dump that b***h” he looked embarrassed “I better go gorgeous, I’ll wake up Joanna and take her home” he tried to walk away but I grabbed his arm “you shouldn’t drive home, I’ll get Harry to drive you. Night night honey” I said and I kissed his cheek. And he grabbed me for a cuddle we stood hugging each other for a few minutes in silence, it was like we didn’t want to let each other go. I could feel his heart beating hard. And I stood cuddling him and smelling his scent, a smell that I had missed so much that it hurt. I ran my hands over his back I had always dreamt about his body and I used to perv when I didn’t think he was looking so I took this opportunity to finally touch him and it was exhilarating. I broke away without a word and went into the living room “come on John get up, let’s go to bed” he opened one eye and even in his drunken state he made me laugh, I managed to get him up to bed and he passed out right away. I lay awake thinking about my kiss with Fran. I was asking myself why I let it go on for so long and why did I kiss him back like that. I kept looking at Johns sweet face as he slept and the feeling of guilt torn at my heart. But the one thing I couldn’t shake was that John hadn’t told me about Joanna coming on to him. I trusted him with all my heart and to think he had been keeping things from me made me look at him in a different light. But the fact was that I wasn’t about to wake him up to tell him that I had kissed Fran so how was I any different? And the one huge question was when I was hugging Fran why didn’t I want to let him go.

The next day I woke up really early because I couldn’t sleep. I got up and had a shower and when I came back into our bedroom John was just starting to wake up. “Morning kid, you look good enough to eat, come here” he said with a dirty grin. But I wasn’t in the mood “John why didn’t you tell me about Joanna coming onto you?” His face fell “I didn’t want to upset you or embarrass Fran, and i wanted to speak to Fran man to man” He went on to tell me all the things she had done like blowing him kisses and weird stuff like that and that she had touched his knee and tried to follow him to the bathroom. I was furious “I need you to tell me the truth, did anything happen between you two?” He got out of bed and and came towards me and gently hugged me and and kissed my head “how can you think that? I would never do anything like that? I love you kid” I knew that I was being stupid, but I felt like I had to ask him “it’s just that I never thought that Tommy would have cheated on me and we know how that turned out and sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough” he shook his head and smiled “Tommy was an i***t and it’s written all over his face that he regrets what he did. The poor boy looks f*****g miserable that you are with me” I rolled my eyes “no he isn’t” “believe me he is. But I’m glad that he did or you and me wouldn’t be together. But I’m not some silly young boy, I would never throw what we have away. And I don’t want any one else, you are my world. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about that silly cow Joanna and it won’t happen again, I promise I will be 100% honest with you about everything” I went up onto my tiptoes and kissed him. Here I was giving him a hard time when I had totally betrayed him with my best friend. I knew that I was just deflecting the fact that I felt guilty by picking a fight with him. I also knew that I should be honest with him but I thought if I told him I kissed Fran that he would have went nuts. And I couldn’t bare to lose him. Also John wasn’t the kind of man that you messed with and I didn’t want anything to happen to Fran because of one drunken kiss that meant nothing to him. I decided I just had to never think about it again. After all I was the queen of hiding my emotions although hiding guilt was something I had never really done before apart from when I ruined Carmela’s vail. And I remembered what Fran had told me that day “bury the body and don’t think about it again” John gently kissed me again and rubbed his strong hands across my cheek “are you ok Kid? Is there something you have to tell me?” I could feel the words bubbling up and about to erupt from my mouth but I had to suppress it “has someone been coming on to you?” He asked like he could read my mind “is it young Jamie has he tried it on with you?” and then out of no where I shouted “I ruined Carmela’s vail on her wedding day” “What?” He said with a laugh “oh my god I can’t believe I told you that, but it’s true and the guilt has been eating me alive for years” I told him the whole story and by the end of it I was panting because I was so out of breath. He just stood in our bedroom laughing and I felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders “stop laughing John, that’s my deepest darkest secret. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done” he smiled “your secret is safe with me Kid” of course I had worse secrets than that, but I never wanted him to find out about Jimmy or what he had done to me. And although I still felt guilty about kissing Fran I knew that there was nothing in it and that I loved John and it was just a momentary lapse in judgement. I knew I had to speak to him to Fran to apologise about the kiss and warn him not to tell a soul about it, for both our sakes.