Dear Neighbour

→ TWENTY-NINE

Namjoon asked Seokjin to stay in his house four days ago because he felt bad for the older about not having a place to stay even if he didn't know why was Jin in that situation in the first place. And another reason behind his offer was because he wanted to find out something about himself too.

When Namjoon was 13 years old, he met a friend at high school, an exchange student from China. Their adviser let the new kid sit beside his desk, his name was Gu Hai. Namjoon and Gu Hai instantly clicked because, first Gu Hai was fluent in both English and Korean, second they both like the Friends tv series.

They were inseparable, their friendship was the best but when their senior year started, things started to change for Namjoon. just like how things are starting to change with his Jin hyung these past four days of living with him. Whenever Gu Hai would cling to his arm, he would feel very weird —the good feeling of weird. he never felt this way before for the guy because Gu Hai always did this whenever they were together, so what changed?

When Gu Hai would whisper in his ear because some cute girl walked passed them, Namjoon would feel flustered as Gu Hai's breath would tickle his ear. Namjoon didn't know what was happening to him and he didn't realize that their friendship was starting to drift apart because of him.

He kept distancing himself from Gu Hai after that day when Gu Hai squeezed his butt when Namjoon scored a shoot in basketball at PE class (which is what guys normally do for fun).

Namjoon blushed. He blushed!

Namjoon was confused. He shouldn't feel such things for another boy, because he was a boy himself.

Am I gay?

He asked that to himself a lot. Then one dinner night with his mother, he asked.

"Mom, how do you know if you're gay?"

"Where is this coming from, sweetie?"

"Just a thought.."

Namjoon and his mom were very close, that's why he talks about things like these with his mom, without her mother jumping to conclusions.

"Well, I had a couple of gay friends back then. I think when a guy starts to feel attracted or something different towards the same gender then that's pretty much it and also you can sense it pretty easily –well for me at least"

"Mom...I think I might be gay"

Namjoon felt so embarrassed saying this and he was also nervous, he knew his mom loved him but he didn't think out the whole situation. What if his mother doesn't want a gay son?

"I had a feeling.."

His mother trailed off smiling down at her plate.

"What? How?"

"You're my son, I know everything about you., even your farts and other things, I know it all"

Namjoon's mother chuckled, and that made Namjoon very happy. He loves his mom so much.

"Y-You're not mad at me?"

"Why would I be? It’s not someone's fault to be gay..."

Namjoon smiled upon hearing these words from his mom.

"..but son you don't have to declare immediately if you're gay or not. Because you may just be confused at the moment.. We all have that time in our lives where we question our sexualities for a second"

Namjoon stopped for a second and thought about that too, he still did like girls too. So, he nods..

"You don't have to rush.. Take it slow and know yourself, do some exploring"

After that little heart-to-heart talk with his mom, he tried to rekindle his friendship with Gu Hai the very next day. He missed his friend. The two had reconciled and successfully sewn their friendship back after a few weeks but Namjoon always had this little soft spot for his friend that he carried and concealed throughout the years he spent as Gu Hai's best friend.

But after one night, that one particular night, Namjoon knew that it was another test of their friendship --but for him it was also a test of his unsettled affection for his best friend. Gu Hai wanted Namjoon to carry it to his grave and never speak about it. He seldom gets nightmares about it, but when he does he always wakes up sweating and tearing.

After that night he never saw Gu Hai the next day, the day after that, nor the day after tomorrow.

And what happened that night stayed between their sinful lips.