White Bloodline

CHAPTER 4: Harebell

CHAPTER 4: FOURTH EFFLORESCENCE

HAREBELL ~ Grief

Meaning: Grief, Submission, Humility, Sacred Affection, Despair, Cruelty, Melancholy, Sadness, Lost of someone you dearly love.

Hope is like a harebell,

trembling from its birth,

Love is like a rose, the joy of all the earth,

Faith is like a lily, lifted high and white,

Love is like a lovely rose, the world’s delight.

Harebells and sweet lilies show a thornless growth,

But the rose with all its thorns excels them both.

You give me no portent of impermanence,

Though before sun goes you are long gone hence,

Your bright, inherited crown,

Withered and fallen down.

It seems that your blue immobility,

Has been forever, and must for ever be.

Man seems the unstable thing,

Fevered and hurrying.

So free of joy, so prodigal of tears,

Yet he can hold his fevers seventy years,

Out-wear sun, rain and frost,

By which you are soon lost.

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I stare at the reflection from the mirror in front of me, which reveals a perfectly healthy and young girl. But I don’t deserve this. My heart feels like it just want to tear the skin on my face and throw it far away no matter how violent it is. I can’t do this. Tears want to steam from my eyes, but I find myself unable to let it flow. Even crying won’t replace the void that has been corrupting me from the inside out, starting ever since I was taken by Julius. I feel disgusted by myself. I have let myself having s*x with him, even though I’ve swore that I would let Genevieve free. And the worst part is that I enjoyed it! Every second of it while my sister was in danger. What was I thinking? That’s right, I wasn’t thinking. I can’t. I couldn’t. Every time he touched me and let his fragrance controlled my mind, I would always let him entered me, having his way on my body and mind. I couldn’t even say no to him, and that was why Genevieve is dead now. I’m really disgusting. No shame. I feel like I want to burn myself to death. It’s not her who is supposed to be buried in the ground this afternoon. It’s me! Me, Catalia. Not my little sister. So sweet and innocent, with kind heart and high spirit. I don’t deserve to live.

“Catalia,” a voice interrupts my train of dark thoughts. I don’t need to turn around to know who’s calling, though. I can already see his reflected from the corner of my eyes, but I refuse to look at him. Not again. I’ve been reckless. I’ve let his scent linger and cares every corner of my skin. I can’t let it happen again this time. He can’t keep fooling me.

“It’s almost time.” He stands by my side and cares my cheek, eyes looking at our reflection that I believe must has look so perfect from the outside. “You won’t need any make-up, though. No color of flower in this world that can compare to the beauty of your facial features. You might want to change your bathrobe, though. Despite the fact of how much I enjoy seeing you in clothes so thin, I would like you to swear something thicker today.” His voice sounds calm, but tempting in a dangerous way that I can’t trust my own body, heart and mind. His voice makes me want to throw myself at him and let him do his own ways with me.

He then backs away for a moment to show off a sweet green dress for me. It has the color of young leaves. Strapless, it is designed to hang around my breasts, tight to the waist, and flow down to my tights. Well, at least it does look thick.

He helps me wear it, since the zipper is on the back. He’s finish and turns around to face me, but that’s when he notices the empty, cold look on my face.

“What’s wrong?” Julius asks.

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? I am wrong! I shouldn’t be standing right here and now. I should be the one that is deserve to die, not my sister. I was my fault that she was killed right in front of my sight. She wasn’t supposed to die. And how about the man that stabbed her to dead?

“What will happen to the man?” My voice sounds really emotionless, bitter in heart.

“He’ll be punished for murdering a member of our own clan. Tonight, his trial will begin by being burned publically in front of the entire family. I’ve assured that he won’t get away with his crimes. Not after he tried to rape you. Moreover, you’re a married woman. The head of the clan will not allow him to live any longer than this night.”

“You said everyone will be there to watch him burned. Will we be there tonight, then?”

“If you want to. There’s no reason for us to come and explain what happened. I already did that part this morning for you. I know that it won’t be easy to see the man that killed your sister and almost raped you again. But I won’t stop you if you want to go tonight.”

“I want to go,” I say quickly. I want to see that man die with my own two eyes.

Julius then combs my hair and twists the front edges of my white hair to the back so that he can clip it with a hairpin that resembles the color of his gem-like eyes before we leave the room. The dark gradient blue really stands out with my hair color. He lets the rest of my hair to curl around the bottom of it, each has been dried properly after the bath and arranged.

His fingers care my hair softly in such a careful gesture, as if my hair alone can fascinate him. But it’s true. I saw it flashed on his eyes. He really adores it. Adores me. Like I’m the most precious flower in the world.

“Please stop,” I say shaking, closing my eyes because of tiredness that I can no longer shelter inside. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What’s the matter, Catalia? Stop what?”

“This. Being my husband, marrying me, the s*x, and the way you treat me. Please stop. I can’t do this anymore. I’m really tired.”

“What do you mean? You’re my wife, so of course I will have s*x with you and treat you like this. What is it? Am I not kind enough to you. Did I do something that you hate? Tell me, Catalia, so that I can help you.”

Julius cares my cheek while his other hand begins to circle my waist so that I won’t fall out of exhaustion. His eyes are clearly lingering my face. That’s why I close mine in the first place. I can’t look at him.

“No, please.” I try to pull away, but he’s strong even when his muscles are relax. “For the shake of both of us, please stop doing those things.” My voice sounds urgent.

“Why, Catalia?”

“Because-because.... if you keep doing this, then I’ll.... No! Please just stop. Just stay away from me. I can’t do this anymore. My heart.... It hurt! My chest feels so tight. Julius, please, stop acting like-like....”

“Like what?” He asks, curious yet urgent.

“Like you love me.” My lips don’t have the choice but to say the words. His gestures, his reactions, his gazes. I feel like I want to die. I can’t keep this up anymore.

“But I do love you!” Suddenly, the hands on my waist are tightening, gasping my eyes to blink open. “I really love you. Can’t you see the desperation I have? Look at me, Catalia, and then tell me that my eyes don’t look like those that are so desperate because of how much love he has for the woman he loves.”

I look at his eyes obediently, and it’s true. What he says is true. There is such a deep desperation buried beneath those beautiful dark blue gemstones. I can see the love, pouring out so much just for me alone. I can feel it vibrating towards me when I look up to his face, his eyes. And it just makes me want to die even more. I’m suffocating so much, it pains me to half being dead. The love he has for me is suffocating me until I become so weak in his arms.

“But Julius, I can’t do this.” I cling to his chest. “You don’t know what I feel. I can’t do this. I-I don’t love you,” I say, shaking.

“I’m aware of that,” he says in a bitter sad tone. I look up to him, surprise.

“You know? Then why are you still marrying me?”

“It’s because my heart already belongs to you. It has been beating ever since I met you.”

“But it was just a few nights ago that we met. How could you fall in love so quickly?” I ask.

Julius only replies to me with a sad smile. I lean in to me and rest his forehead against mine. His sigh inhales and brushes the skin on my face.

“I can say that I wish I never fell for you, but the truth is, after doing so, I find myself unable to be separated with you. The longer I be with you, the more I can’t leave you. The urges to just grab you and make love to you forever is so tempting, I can’t keep my hands away from you. It’s not just your beauty that draw me in towards you, but also your sweet melodious voice that hitching breath that comes out every time we come to a climax, your ivory and smooth body, how pure your heart is, and not to mention that strong scent of yours that just drives me crazy every time you let it fill the air. Your fragrance is really something, though. I never smelt anything like you before. It’s so dangerously sexy, all I want to do keep f*****g you.”

Hearing those words coming from him, any sane woman would be very wet right now. Especially when it’s directed to me. My p***y is beginning to c*m, and my face blushes in red.

That doesn’t mean anything, though. I don’t have feelings for him. What I feel is just pure s****l attraction.

I try to shake my head and push myself from his chest, but his arms cage me and make sure that I collide back to the hardness of his body. It doesn’t help that feeling his chest only makes me remember the structures of his bare skin, perfectly crafted like torso statues. It reminds me of what I have done to that body of his, and just how much he likes it. The blush that keeps on creeping into my cheeks only makes me hotter and hotter.

“No, Julius.” I try to pull away again even though I know that it’s useless. He won’t let me go.

“It’s okay if we still be married, right? We both like the s*x, and I know that you like my body enough. I can provide you with any luxury you want, even though it doesn’t straight me that you want my wealth that much. Will you just be satisfied with what I’ve got, or will you want more power?” I accidentally look up when I try to struggle inside his hold, and my eyes catch the sight of little blushes creeping on his cheeks also.

Is talking about this.... embarrassed him?

“Julius, it’s not fair,” I say, giving up as I rest on his well-build chest. “You keep making me lost control with your scent so that you can have s*x with me, and yet you talk so ashamedly when you offer s*x to me?”

“We were making love!” He insists, resting his head on my shoulder so that I can feel just how hot his body has become.

“Still, I felt like someone I don’t know every time your fragrance possessed me. All I wanted to do after that is just to feel you inside me repeatedly until I can’t keep going on anymore.”

He’s in silence for a few minutes before pulling me away and say, “Then let’s do it.”

Before I know it, is Juniper intoxicating fragrance is sprayed around me. My nose already inhales the dangerous smell, and my body begins to ache for his touch. He touches my p***y from above the thin material of my dress, where I want him to touch the most. I feel myself losing control, mind going blank, and my own fragrance unconsciously begin to slip from inside of me. The sweet smell of our scent collides into one. Julius has smell it, and he likes it.

No, he loves me.

He leans in for a kiss, thrusting his tongue inside my mouth and dancing with my tongue. I can feel a trail of our saliva leak from my mouth when our lips disconnect for a second, feeling it trailing down between my breasts, down to my stomach, and hit perfectly at my aching core. It only makes pleasure shiver run through my spine, pushing the kiss deeper and opens the s*x.

Julius drops his pants, and within second my breathing has begin to become heavy because of the thrusting in my s*x. My impatient entrance seems to be eager with his c**k, wanting nothing more than being pleased by him. He goes in and out from me for time that feels endless, until my eyes land on the upside down clock on the wall across the bed I seem to be currently lying on.

The minute hour is pointing at twelve, and the hand hour looks like it’s glaring at the three.

Julius eventually follow my gaze, wondering why I look up for so long as keep never stop thrusting inside my hole, making me whimper and moan here and there. His eyes suddenly widen in surprise, and I never see him moves so fast as he pulls his c**k away from me for the last time, putting back his pants and fixes my opened dress. It’s already half ruined, though. My butts are just a few inches from its hem.

“No time to change. We’re late,” he announces, pulling me up and out from his room.

Realization hit me when the effect of his Juniper flower scent eventually eases down from me.

I’m late for my sister’s funeral.

And I almost forget about it.

All because of having s*x with my own husband.

Everyone has gathered at the backyard garden, which is covers thousands of miles away from the mansion, with colorful flowers and plants for every inch. Green is the dress code of this evening, being the color of peace for the Cainvarna family. We wear it as a sign that we respect the one who is now no longer among us, but somewhere away and hopefully to be a reincarnation seed in the future.

Murmurs linger around me, but I keep my head down. Julius holds my hand and leads me to the burial ground, not even talking to anyone as we arrive at my sister’s grave. All thoughts of what has happened before we are here is now gone from my head as my eyes begin to water and sore. I try to blink it back as I regain my sight of where Genevieve lies now, her body sleeping palely peaceful inside a coffin made of glass, clear from blood.

She looks more like a doll inside a glass case now, being kept so clean and pretty so that she will last forever.

The top of the glass case is still open, so I bend down to her and place a kiss on her cheek with my trembling lips. I retrieve to take a good look at her while remembering the memory of her when she was still alive.

When she was one year old, she called my name for the first time, as it was her first time talking. When she was three, we played at the garden almost every single day, not caring for the day or tomorrow. When she was five, when she was so eager to run, I thought her how to draw to calm her down instead. I love the Blue Bells she drew, because they were her favorites of that time, ever since I brought it to her on her fifth birthday. At the age of seven, I started going to classes with her, and we both learn while having so much fun at the same time that it was unbelievably real. When she was nine, I couldn’t believe how fast she has grown, because she has started to notice the boys in the family that she categorized as ‘good looking’.

She had started to grow a few crushes at some boys her age or several years older when she was ten, but still keeping her heart pure and adorable. But she was crushed when one day, she decided to confess her love to a boy she told me she really liked. Genevieve said that he would prefer me over her, but I told her that it was ridiculous in the first place, for having feelings for her own cousin. She went upset after I told her that, and hadn’t been speaking to me for a couple of days at that time. But that didn’t stop us for being close again, since we could stay mad at each other for long in the first place. Our hearts yearned for each other’s companion too much to spend another day alone.

What scared me most was when I overheard my mother’s conversation, along with the rest of the ladies from our family. When I discovered the secret, being shocked was a complete underestimation. I didn’t tell a single soul about it, though. That, I somehow managed to do. Such a thing can’t be talk or share to anyone ─ especially when the whole clan was trying to hide it. After that night, though, I tried very hard to figure out a way to safe my sister from all of this, but couldn’t think of anything else but to give myself up in exchange for her safety.

I didn’t know whether Genevieve would surrender to our tradition or not at that time, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. I tried to figure out of other ways, but as the more time I used to think, the faster I ran out of it. And it eventually led to the night of the full moon.

How fast time can play....

“Catalia....” Julius calls me and places a hand on my shoulder, another holding out a stem of Forget-Me-Not. I smile a thankful smile as nice as I can with a thunder of sadness swirling inside my heart, my hand receiving the flower.

I place the Forget-Me-Not over Genevieve’s stomach, arranging it lovingly so that her thin hands are holding the flower in her depurative sleep. The smell of other flowers that circle her body makes her smell nicer than blood. Her face looks like as if she was having a good dream, and I can only hope that it never ends.

With one last looks and a kiss on her forehead this time, I rise from the ground I have been kneeing on.

“Come,” Julius automatically welcomes me into his arms, and I let him embrace me right away. My heart feels so sad, but seeing Genevieve makes me want to be strong.

“I love you,” I mouth out off as my throat is too dry to speak when two men appear and start closing the glass coffin. My body feels the need to reach out to her, wanting to join her in grave as well. But Julius holds me to his body, his hard chest pressing my back tightly as his arms circle around me. Tears threatening to spill from my eyes when the men start lowering Genevieve and fill in the ground. My only best hope when they finish is that if flowers will ever grow on top of her grave, because that will mean that I still have hope. That I can reincarnate her seed again.

It is a moment of quite for me after that, but at least Julius is concern at me enough to stay by my side through everything. The sun has begin to set now, creating sweet illusion from the sky’s honey and flush. It makes me miss Genevieve already, and Amaranth. And that reminds me.

“Have you seen my brother?” My raise my head to look up to Julius.

“No,” is his short reply.

My eyes begin to scan my crowds, but all I can meet is hate and angry eyes that none belongs to Amaranth. “I wonder where he is,” I say sadly. “This is his sister’s burial. Where can he be at this most important time?”

He seems to be deep in thought before answering me again. “He has something else do to.”

“What?” I gasp. “How can you know? And where would he be right now? Is Genevieve not important enough for him to come here firsthand before he does his business?”

Before Julius can answer any of my questions, though, someone comes our way.

“Well, if it isn’t the Convicus Julius,” his voices booms with authority, his words sound as if he is speaking with a different language to my ear, especially the word ‘Convicus’.

He is big and tall, hair and eyes as black as midnight. Aside from his intimidating look, his scent is pretty intimidating, too, even though it’s not very sharp for my nose. Black lily is his fragrance. I recognize its sensual scent. And as me steps closer to approach Julius, I feel myself tightening my grip against him.

Julius spares me a look of concern, but I just can’t hide the fact that I don’t like this guy, even though we just meet. I keep my face buried on his chest as Julius greets the man standing behind me.

“It’s rare to see you now lately, Orchdin Gallan,” Julius gives him a most brilliant smile, but somehow I can detect the hate in his expression ─ one think about him that I know in common with myself. “I thought you would be rather busy with how it is scheduled in the field,” he comments.

“I did, but the matters have all been solved. You know how much I don’t like to mingle with too much troubles,” Orchdin Gallan speaks, his voice dripping with a similar hate despite the facade he has put on his face.

“Oh, really? But I bet it must have been fun for you to deal with,” Julius replies darkly with the smile that is still spreading on his lips.

When the man reaches us, his presence forces me to cling into Julius more. Perhaps it’s because of his vigorous fragrance? Or just the fact that his looks can scare me enough at first glance? But I know that it is impolite to act like this, and I have no any other choice but to face and greet him, even though he doesn’t even notice my presence, which is good. I hide back behind Julius as soon as I am finish making my lady-like bow, just like how Madam likes it.

I get the chance on taking a good look at him closer while Julius talks to him. From Julius’ shoulder, I can see that his tan skin looks like it’s always be dried in the sun all day, obviously darker than both of us. The texture of his skin doesn’t look smooth, either, but rather rough and more likely belongs to somehow who fights often. And they somehow match his tall posture. The man is even taller than Julius.

“It’s such a surprise to see you attending a funeral, considering that you are not even close with the deceased,” I can hear Julius says.

“Nothing that a good general can do while he is still around,” Orchdin Gallan responds.

Wait. General? As in the title of Orchdin? No wonder that I can feel the scary aura around him. He has killed people before! And Convicus? As in the King’s secret spy? I’ve heard Julius saying that he has power and wealth, but not that high! But even if Julius is a high rank, that means Gallan has a position higher than him.

“Oh yeah? Then do you know who died?” Julius challenges him.

Gallan claps his lips into one thin line before admitting. “No. You got me there. But honestly, I don’t really care who the heck died. All I know is just some stupid girl getting herself killed. I don’t even have any say about coming when they forced me to come here. But since you’re here, I thought, what the heck. Could use some insults on you,” Gallan says very low so only me and Julius can hear him.

His words struck me with fear, recoil and shock. But above all, fury. How dare he said those nasty things about my sister! And I will not let him insult Genevieve!

Julius catches a glimpse of my intention, but it is too late for him to stop me in time.

“She was my sister, and I won’t let you talk bad about her. She was not stupid. It was your fault that didn’t make sure that the mansion is secure enough for a criminal to roam around inside and got her killed,” I said with anger, unable to contain myself any longer. Something just snaps within me, and it overcomes the fear I have towards the man.

Raising my voice seems to finally attract Gallan’s attention. He shifts his daggering stares from Julius and down to me, and then slowly taking the sight of me in. His eyes feel as sharp as razor on me.

I back slowly and return to my position behind Julius, a feeling of sickness roam over me for some reasons. Is it because of his overwhelming scent that somehow just get more intense and thicker?

What have I done? Because of my outburst just now, not only that I gain the rest of the mourners attention, but also possible humiliating and dangering Julius’ position? After this, even apologizing is not going to be enough to aid the situation.

Gallan waves at the crowds, telling them that he’ll take care of this.

He then eyes me for some more, before glancing his eyes back to Julius only to ask, “Is she your new wife, then? Very pretty indeed, I must say. And that scared look on her face is worth dying for, don’t you think. It makes me want to f**k her hard enough to make her cry for my name, and then just f**k her harder again.” His voice is low enough for only the two of us can hear the last part, and he smirks at me.

Shiver runs through my spines when he says that. Surely I have offended him, a high rank, but does he really have to say that to scare me completely off? Not to mention the stiff Julius in front of me. Besides, it was him who started to talk bad about Genevieve first. Even if he is a high rank, I don’t think that is the proper way for an Orchdin to act. Especially in at burial ceremony.

“What do you want?” Julius asks him consciously, sensing that danger that comes from Gallan.

Julius’ one hand extends to me, making sure to keep me safe behind him. I cling my hands to the back of his clothes even more, already having a bad feeling of how things going to steer.

“What do I want?” Gallan repeats with a dark chuckle. “You know perfectly well by this point, Julius,” he says, dropping Julius’ title by now. “As a punishment for daring to talk like that to me, I think a taste is required.”

A taste? What is that suppose to mean?

“Quick. Take your time now,” Gallan says to Julius darkly with a smile so sickening.

Julius turns at me quickly, his eyes looking terrified as I never seen before. What has happened to the calm and collected him?

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble,” I start, but Julius quickly shakes his head to me.

“No. It’s my fault for not bringing you out of here before it’s too late. I should have known that this is what he wants, but I never thought that he would even go for you, my wife,” he says the last part in anger.

What is this? “What is he going to do?” What’s a taste?

“Catalia, listen closely. I─”

“Hurry up, Julius. The clock is ticking, and you know very well how little my patient is,” Gallan threats.

Julius turns sharply at me, never looking so furious before. “You can’t do this!” he says through clenched teeth. “She’s my wife!”

“And you think that insulting me is going to let her past just like that?” He raises one of his eyebrows, making him look more unpleasant than ever.

“You─” Julius wants to say something, but immediately cut off by Gallan.

“Don’t forget your place, Convicus. I can make you lose everything you ever have with just one word.” The smirk has gone from his face, but that doesn’t make Gallan less dangerous. His serious expression is every much more threatening.

But that doesn’t fair. He insulted my dead sister, and in return he wants to take away Julius’ title? No, I can’t trouble Julius anymore than I already have. First to tolerate my brother, and second for dealing with the murderer of my sister. I have to stand up for him, too, when no one else does.

“It’s not his fault,” I raise my voice. Julius’ hand wants to keep me behind him, but I somehow manage to slip pass him. “I was the one to dare to speak up to you, so you should punish me instead. Don’t involve Julius in this.”

Gallan looks at me, a little bit surprise, but soon recovers. “Good girl,” he gives me that sickening smile again. “Now turn.” Before I can understand what is happening, I already have my face against Julius’ chest and my butt somehow curls up, making the cleavages on my behind completely presented to Gallan’s hungry eyes.

“Brace yourself,” is only what Julius says with so much regret in his face, before I can feel Gallan’s fingers traveling a the hem of my skirt and lift it high enough to each my hole. I want to scream, but Julius holds my head against his chest so that it can devour my voice. “I’m sorry,” I hear Julius apologizing, before I can feel Gallan’s finger dipping into my forbiddency.

I scream in pain, but Julius’ hand keeps me still against his chest. I bite his shirt, accidentally taking in too deep that I get to his flesh, but he doesn’t even wince. The finger inside my hole only unmoved for a few seconds, digging deep and thick, before it starts to move around my walls. I can hear myself holding my scream again.

Gallan seems to like being inside me, so he decides to enter a second finger, keeping still before moving inside. My breaths become hitching and short, heavy because of the pain. But then something that terrifies me starts to build up. My face begins to fluster the same way when Julius takes me in. My entire body seems to me coat my sweat. My mind going hazy at the same time.

Am I.... actually enjoying this?

No! I bite harder into Julius’ shirt, taking in some of his flesh accidentally again, but at least it is better.

I don’t want him to see my face right now.

The face that is just begging to get f**k.

But not for Gallan. No. I hate him. He makes me want to c*m with his two fingers inside me.

Finally, I can hear a dim gulp of his fingers removing from my hole. I quickly fix my skirt, even though I know that I can’t do anything much with the liquid that has started to leak from between my tights. I hate to admit it, but my body seems to like his touch. I just hope that Julius doesn’t notice this.

Awkwardly, I shift back behind Julius. Doing such thing in front of the public.... doesn’t everyone would judge him? But when I look around, it seems like everyone intentionally doesn’t look towards our way, as if knowing what Gallan would do and openly turns a blind eye at him.

Sickeningly, I really wish that I could miss the sight of Gallan sucking his fingers that are soaking with my c*m into his mouth, taking in the liquid. Is that what he meant by a taste?

Still hazy and shivering, I burry my face against Julius’ back, really ashamed of what I just did. I c*m for this man? I can’t believe my own body. And it only makes me hate Gallan even more.

A shock expressions can’t be missed from Gallan’s face when his tongue get a taste of me, though. His mouth parts open, indicating that he really didn’t expect it. “Why you, Julius....” He stares at my husband in rather disbelieve. “You dare to hide her? The─”

“Now that you’re done, we would like to go back to our room, as it seems like you just made my wife tired.” Julius quickly darts us away from Gallan, and I feel myself so relief.

Once we’re back again in Julius’ room, I don’t think he’s going to make this slide, though. I had betrayed him. I still can’t believe that I c*m for that disgusting man.

I am placed on the bed, then Julius starts to pace around.

Is he going to kick me out? Is that my punishment from him?

“Julius....” I start, tears folding from my eyes and blur my vision.

He notices this and hurriedly comes to my side. “Catalia.” I can hear the desperation in his tone. “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you. I knew I said that I would, but I couldn’t believe myself that I already broke my promise so soon. I didn’t even plan to, but....” He buries his face into my lap, crying? “I don’t deserve you, Catalia. I’m so sorry for making you go through this. I understand if you never want to see me again after this.”

“I understand,” I say emotionlessly.

“What?” he raises his head from my lap.

“I understand. You feel disgusted at me after he touched me, and you don’t want to have me around anymore. I understand. I even feel disgusted by myself, for cumming for that man. I am so dirty....” I feel my tears running out more.

“What?! No! I am the one to be fault, Catalia. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you. Don’t say it like that. I love you, Catalia,” he sighs. I gasp by his words. “I still want to touch you, if you still allow me to,” he adds. “And as for being turned on by Gallan.... it wasn’t such a surprise to me that you did. A lot of women love him for being so good at f*****g. But Catalia, to be truth, I am jealous of him. I thought I was the only one who can satisfy you, but you c*m so easily for him despite the fact that you hate him. I never felt so vulnerable against a problem before.”

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