Weirdo Thoughts

What's Going On!!!

I got back to class and, well, we had free period in my class, so the class was noisy and boring and then James walked in, making a beeline straight to my seat.

“ aren't you meant to be in class ? " I asked.

“ Well, our English teacher is sick, sooo that's a free period for me " he said while having an adorable grin on his face. “ What about your class?"

“free period "

“ Oh okay , well, since I was free I thought I'd come to see you "

••••••••••••••••••••

“ hmmm hmmm hmmm " was what I'd say to myself as I saw the combo of a boy and a girl talking for more than five minutes.. I'd look at them and see nothing but complete misfortune because I knew s**t wouldn't work out .All I could see was a future heart break.

“are you listening?". I heard James say while dawning on the realization that I also had been sitting there for a while connecting with James even though I knew he was only talking to me to make Patty his ex jealous .

“Uhmm no , I'm actually not listening. "

“are you okay ?"

“Yeah i am ". I said as I placed my hand on my head pretending to have a head ache as I chipped in a smile to make him less worried . “ just a minor head ache " .

Yeah, even though I felt he was using me he kinda sometimes seemed like he actually cared for me, but BS, I was way past the whole " falling in love like a teenager" stage, even though I am a teenager .Though I must admit James was super hot with his beautiful blue eyes , dark but uniquely brown hair , his smile was gorgeous absolutely gorgeous , he was super duper tall . i was an ant compared to him and his voice , f*** his voice turned me on . And up until 2 months ago, we were like strangers, but for some reason he has been trying to be really close to me, which was beginning to bore me . Well, me and James were both seniors. I hardly ever spoke to him . Mainly because of our school system . Westwood High was a highly prestigious school and before you could officially get a class you would have to be tested to see your level of intelligence or should I say how high your IQ is on entry . The classes were in four , that is, Class A,B,C and D .“ A" was the highest, of course, and “D" was the lowest .

So, I was in “B" and he was in “A” .

“ Yeah James, I'm sorry, but I can't lie to myself and act like the whole you trying to be my friend thing feels natural , what do you want?"

“wtf " he said while laughing in a mocking manner, “ you're funny. "

I could see why he'd said that because we've been hanging out for some time now and any normal person would have asked this earlier, but well, not me. I actually did enjoy his company but it was due to the rumors I've been hearing about him and Patty breaking up because of me .

“ No James , is it because of Patty? It's obvious you are still crazy about her and I'm not gonna be your rebound , alright?" and that's when things switched up.

“ Do you really think I'm using you as a rebound ? " in an annoying tune he blurted out “ shut the f**k up " he said, with a really seductive smile on his face. Then he leaned in closer to my ear and whispered “ don't say that out loud again , people will laugh at you , do you really think you could be a rebound ? " Then he grazed my cheek with his lips while leaning back on his seat and staring into my eyes. “ Jess you're beautiful , I'd be lucky to have you "

his attention was diverted and I noticed Patty was in our class talking to my sister . That's when I realized he was just trying to make her jealous .

“ You should shut the f**k up Einstein , I only said that because people have been saying s**t about me being the reason you and Patty broke up, not like I'm interested in you. "

“Uhmm yeah "

“ What do you mean, yeah? "

bang . as the door slammed and Larry entered the class sang boom with some of his friends as they walked in .“ Girl, please baby don't leave , you got that booty booty boom ba ba , baby give me that boom ba ba " . Larry has an amazing singing voice and since we were kids he has always, I mean always won, the school talent shows .

I instantly rolled a piece of paper and threw it at him . After barely missing the paper I threw at him, he began to walk in my direction .

James, who happened to be sitting in front of me, said “ I'll talk to you during lunch break " . I didn't even reply to him. I just gave him a disgusted scowl and he left .

Larry, on the other hand, stood on his locker which was next to mine and kept on singing .

“ Hey", I yelled at him .

“ Hey adoring fan " he said while waving at me , his hand gesture was like how you'd see girls in those fancy pageant do on TV .

“get down from there"

“ Alright , so you and James again "he said as he came down from his locker but didn't sit .

“ God no "

“ yeah sure "

“ I'm serious Lar , I don't even like him like that. "

“ Okay, so you do like him just ..."

I cut him short before he could complete what he was saying, “ shut up , 9 is here dude. "

and at that moment Larry removed his tie which he put on his head , wore it properly and tucked in his school shirt.

I began to laugh, historically, at the sight of him caring so much about what she thought about him.

“ I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know you exist " I stated while laughing at his misfortune .

“ b***h don't kill my vibe , b***h don't kill my vibe , I can feel your energy from two planets away I've got my..." I placed my index finger on his lips to shut him up from singing “ b***h don't kill my vibe - Kendrick larmar "

I loved how everything about him was musical, even though it could be really annoying sometimes .

“ Okay, just go talk to her then. "

“ I think I'll drop dead "

“ Dude , I don't get why your so shy "

“ Okay, okay ,could you just talk to her for me ?"

“ No way , you know me. I don't talk to people first , it's the other way around . I've got a reputation to keep "

“ Come on Jess, I'd do the same if you asked " he said in a whining manner. “ Please you won't have to beg me if it was Gomez " .

“ You know what I'm ending this conversation " .

riiinnggg . the bell went off for next period and the biology teacher walked in . Mr Marshall, who happened to be Larry's mom's boyfriend . Larry hated him .

“Urghhh you again " Larry said.

“Yes me again and your mum told me to tell you to come home at the same time as me. "

“maybe ".

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During lunch time, I saw James waiting for me outside my class . I completely ignored him and walked right past him . And out of nowhere, I was instantly pulled back into his arms .

“ Let go of me, James ."

“Jessica , what's up with the attitude?"

“ what's up with you using me to make your ex jealous ? It's ruining my reputation."

“ it's a bit obvious you can't remember s**t or should I see you're completely clueless about what's going on here " He pulled my hand, leading me in a different direction from the cafeteria.

“James, where are you taking me?"

“somewhere we can talk "

“OK, but let go of my hand."

“ Alright then " he said. Raising both his hands up as he took me to the school garden

“ School garden how romantic " I said with sarcasm in my tone .

“ Hey, I thought you wanted to know what's going on. "

“ I do "

“ Then please listen " he said with remorse, “ I don't think you remember, but last summer we met at some bar and you were kinda drunk and, well, I tried to help you out and you kissed me. Patty saw us and you didn't exactly help in trying to explain. You were being all bitchy "

“ what!"

“ Yeah and that's when she broke up with me. "

I was in shock. “James I...I'm so sorry" barely managed to escape from my lips . I was speechless.

“ Yeah, no problem, I'm good now, I'm into you now."

“ Don't be absurd , you still like Patty and you know it. "

“ I don't , and I didn't like her. I was in love with her. "

“ Yeah, sure whatever you wanna call what you feel for her " .

“ felt "

“ You see that , how the f**k does love go away ? "

“ Okay, I still care about her , but things are really over thanks to you "

“ Sure, but I really am sorry. I'll talk to her. "

“ Don't! There's absolutely no need. "

“ I don't care what you want. "

“ Just look at that , you are so selfish , you aren't even bothered about me , just you. "

“James .... " I couldn't even finish my sentence. He left kind of pissed at me.

I wasn't really bothered about him .... I think .

✩˚｡⋆༉‧₊˚✧₊˚.༄ ♥ ✩˚｡⋆༉‧₊˚✧₊˚.༄

School was over and I went with Larry to his car.

“ Hurry so you can get home to your mum soon ". I pulled him to walk faster to the car.

“ I honestly don't want to. Let's wait for James."

“ Ha! Why do you have a crush on him ? "

... Usually, after school, students are littered around the school premises .So would I, but I told Larry I didn't want to run into James . So we left earlier than usual .

“ Hey, are you going to Gomez' party? " I asked .

“ No, I actually spoke to Nina and am gonna hang with her. "

“ alright then " .

After a brief ride to my house, we barely talked much. I left his car and waved him goodbye.

I happened to be the only one at home. Jennifer was still at school hanging out with her friends. She wasn't going to be home anytime soon and my dad wasn't going to be home until later and my mum didn't live with us anyway . So I did what I usually do when I'm alone at home .

I went straight to my bedroom and took off all my clothes , put on some gym clothes and played ...“ The Weeknd - Starboy album ", I said, while I sunk in a deep breath , which gave me a sense of relief .

With the loud music playing all over the house, I'd do some body work outs, mainly squats though, because I wanted a bigger ass . I only did squats because my little sister had a bigger ass than I did, but I never and will never admit it .

A lonely night started playing and I couldn't help but dance and move my as though I was Michael Jackson. I always felt like “ The Weeknd ” sounded a lot like MJ sometimes. I guess that's what triggered my love for “ The Weeknd” , because when my mum was around she'd listen to every single MJ song even right before MJ became a solo artist . She'd listened to his family band “ Jackson 5" , she also happened to be the one who taught me how to dance ... but I never really spoke about it ever. I never spoke about her, at least not until she left .

I was done with my whole work out and dancing and, well, I stunk, of course .I went to my room while I took off my gym clothes and put them in my laundry basket . I stood in front of my mirror from which I viewed all angles of my body. I didn't really do the workouts because I didn't have a hot body . I just really hated my sister having an inch fatter ass than I did and hip dips . When I discovered what hip dips were, I became so conscious and fully concerned about them . Jennifer didn't really care because she, unlike me, was comfortable with her self , her body and her whole self-being . But I, on the other hand, paid attention to everything . It's a blessing and a curse . People will sometimes see me or classify me as perfect, but I always find a problem .

I sniffed my armpits and boy did I stink . I put on a bath robe while I went downstairs to turn on the water heater . Then boom, I saw James outside my house doing what seemed like talking or, should I say, arguing with himself , on whether to ring the door bell or not . I walked straight to the door without giving him a chance to decide if he did in fact want to ring the door bell.

“ What do you want, creep ? " I said while lifting one of my eyebrows up.

“ ouch , now you call me creep "

I responded by scrolling my eyes in disgust and he proceeded “ I didn't see you after school and I wanted to be sure you were alright and, well, two other things. "

“ Go ahead James, I won't bite. "

“ Okay uhmm I'm sorry I called you selfish and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow as you know a date. "

Then I burst out in laughter. “ You can't be serious James , I'm not going out on a date with you. "

after listening to how mean I sounded, I came up with an amazing save . “ I mean everyone is gonna party at the Hernandez' tomorrow, you know Gomez? ...the party is an open invitation "

“ Okay, I just wanted to hang out with you " .

“ James, you have hung around me way too much already and you still can , at the party. "

“ Alright then , sorry for disturbing you , by the way. You should put on some clothes " he said while creating a hand gesture, pointing down my boobs and smiling as he walked away.

“ f**k you "

I yelled while he was chuckling as he walked into his blue Ford Mustang ....

As soon as he left, I headed straight to go take a shower. As I walked past the mirror in my room, I couldn't help but notice I was smiling . I was happy after seeing James . I mean, wtf, why am I happy? I'm suddenly getting attached to him .... I slammed my hands on my face to stop myself from the continuous grin. “Urghhhhh why the hell am I smiling "I said to myself in a low tone .

✩˚｡⋆༉‧₊˚✧₊˚.༄ ♥ ✩˚｡⋆༉‧₊˚✧₊˚.༄

My sister got home by 8:38 pm and my dad wasn't going to be home until 10 pm, so we usually didn't bother waiting up for him since he had his own key .

“Jenny Twin meeting now!"

Twin meeting is as obvious as the name a meeting me and Jennifer made when we were little . We'd tell each other our secrets or vent and talk about anything we'd never tell anyone else .We always turned the shower and sink tap on ever since the day our nosey cousin Kyle listened in on us talking about Ryan, who is Jenny's current boyfriend . In middle school, she always had a thing for him and he, the same . Probably why they've been dating for 3 years now . I envied them a lot actually .

We walked in to the bathroom and did the usual

“ Jenny wtf didn't you tell me I kissed James ... I mean because of me, Patty broke up with him. "

“ wow uhm , I thought you knew and didn't want to talk about it"

“ I'm confused "

“ The next morning after the whole you and James scandal, I asked if you wanted to talk about it.... remember ?"

“ f*** Jenny I thought you were talking about something else " I said in a whining tone.

“ what else ?"

“ It's some bullshit with Simon. "

Simon is this asshole I fell in love with . The guy just used me as his side girl . When he and his main girl had a fall out, not like I wanted to be his side girl, but he said exactly what they all say, I'll leave her for you , you're a better kisser , I need you , blah blah blah and other bull crap I'd feel . I know it sounds dumb to believe all that, but I guess people do get blinded by love . I still feel strange emotions when I see him . I feel so stupid when I think about it . He's the main reason I don't believe in love.

“ ohh ... tell me what happened " Jenny said.

“ uhmm we were like friends with benefits and I fell for him .... I told him... and he was a jerk about it... told me I was his sneaklink and I shouldn't get dramatic and f*ck things with him and Rebecca "

“ Oh sh*t , why didn't you tell me?"

“ I don't know, besides there were zero actually attachments involved from the beginning , but I f*cked up "

“ What do you mean you f*ckd up? We don't have control over our feelings "

“ I mean I should have known better. "

“ Stop that and he's a f*ckn loser. He lost a fine ass , bomb ass girl like you " she said with confidence in what she was saying, “ and we are meant to tell each other everything, okay?"

“ Okay " I managed to bring laughter out of my okay .“ But back to the Patty issue , she hates me doesn't she? "

“ Well, she does. "

“ You guys are friends. Is she coming to the party tomorrow? "

“ yeah, why?"

“ I'll try to talk to her then. "

“ Okay, I hope she listens though and good luck "

We hugged, turned off the water and I went to my bed while Jenny went to take a bath .

I laid on my bed wondering what me and Jenny were going to wear the next day when a message popped on my phone. I picked up the phone to see who it was and, no surprise to me, it was James. He sent “send me a really cute picture " .

So I sat up from my bed and took a picture of me rolling my eyes at him with me in a Zero filter mood and sent it “ here you go " and I laid back on my bed with a smile on my face .

“ That must be James , huh?" my sister said as she walked out of the bathroom wet because she left her towel on her bed before she went into the bathroom . She always did that . I didn't have the chance to reply to her when I got distracted by the notification sound of my phone . I picked it up and saw it was a picture sent by James. It was a screenshot of my picture as his wallpaper with the caption attached to the picture “ your really pretty without makeup ".I dropped my phone on the drawer beside my bed to answer Jenny .

“ Why do you think it's James ? "

“ Because James makes you smile silly . "

“ You sound like Larry . "

and instantly we both started laughing .

“ I don't sound like your best friend . He's a psycho "

“ true " .