In the Name of Earth

Chapter 18: Watch for Asteroids

As soon as Marvin had returned from his trip to Earth—on a fresh new suit and with a backpack filled to the brim with supplies—the Exile left the dead Gaia Station behind and shot for the stars once more, bound for The Admiral.

The trip would only take a few hours, during which everyone had found something to occupy themselves with. Marvin had taken the opportunity to explore his new Chief-Ambassador access to the EDS database. The research material on the system was astonishing, starting with the research on Crazy-Corn. Apparently, what to humans was a harmless salty cinema treat was, to several alien species, a powerful stimulant and on rare cases even a hallucinogen. Outlawed on most systems, which resulted in heavy restrictions on the corn commerce. He had also run a search on The Admiral, but the results were lacking.

In the end, all Marvin could expect from the guy was a bizarre mix of Pablo Escobar and the gentle grandpa from the popcorn cart on Central Park. Only time would tell which was closer to the truth.

He had asked Reel for more information on the guy, but the pilot just shushed him and returned his attention to the live broadcast of GalacTalents, where a group of hivemind aliens danced in perfect synchrony.

In the cargo hold, Jade was hard at work with a spray-paint pistol, coloring her silver armor a deep black. Lud had asked her why she was doing that, and the response was more than satisfactory enough:

“Because it’ll look badass!”

And it did! It did look badass!

“What about you?” Jade asked the engineer, who was bent over an improvised workbench made of supply containers. “What you working on?”

“That tracking collar we got from Administrator Hasan,” Lud muttered. “May she rest in peace. It’s the only piece of Causer tech we have, so maybe I can learn something from it.”

“I’m not sure it’s Causer tech, to be honest,” Jade continued painting her armor. “Causers are better at destroying stuff than creating stuff. Let alone interstellar trackers.”

“It’s got interstellar range?” Lud mused, then flipped the thing over. “Oh! That’s a Quantum Splitter Unit! Now everything makes sense! Should be able to… aha! Think I got something!”

Ludwig stepped away from the workbench, collar on one hand and infopad on the other. He handed the infopad to Jade, then started pacing around the cargo hold.

“See anything?”

She studied the tablet on her hands. Every step Ludwig took, a marker moved on the screen, indicating whether the collar was closer to or farther from the infopad.

“Hey, you got it working!” she smiled. “Nice job!”

“We’re here, humans!” Reel’s voice echoed from the ship’s speakers. “Get ready for a bumpy ride!”

***

The three humans gathered behind the pilot’s seat in time to see the small orange captain steer into a belt of massive brown rocks and ice blocks three times the size of the Exile.

“Wow! Watch for asteroids, dude!” Ludwig said as an icy edge scraped the Exile’s paintjob.

“Thanks for the heads-up, pale human. What would I do without you!”

“Why are we even flying into this deathtrap?” Marvin asked just when a barrel-roll saved them from a frontal collision with a space rock.

“This is where we’ll find The Admiral,” Jade was surprisingly nonchalant given their situation. “Asteroid ODA-1138. It’s that big one over there,” the woman pointed a particularly large chunk of rock from which several shield-generators stuck out. “Officially the headquarters for the local mining operations, but it’s also grounds for a lot more stuff.”

“Like smuggling?” Marvin asked.

“Spot on! The asteroid belt makes it hard to track everyone that comes and goes, so it’s the ideal fencing site.”

“Is knowing all this part of your special assignment?” Marvin asked, and before Jade could respond a deep alien voice came from the cockpit’s communicator.

“Unidentified vessel, this is Miner’s Guild control. Please identify yourself.”

“Yorgan? That you?” Reel grabbed the headset and redirected the communications to the device. “It’s Reel, you fishbrain!... Yeah, yeah, I did paint her red, thanks for noticing. Just let The Admiral know I’m here to see him… No, I’m not back in the business. Look, just tell The Admiral, will you?... Great! Thanks. Send my regard to Faron and the kids!”

Sighing, Reel removed the headset with his membraned hands and continued dodging asteroids.

“You have friends here,” Marvin muttered. “Of course you have friends here.”

“This ship’s ferried its fair share of Crazy-Corn, bigger human. Of course, not all of it made it to the buyer… Anywho, The Admiral will see us as soon as we dock. You’re welcome.”

“You’re not coming,” Jade said.

“What?!” Reel turned to the woman and a marginal collision rocked the ship.

“Watch the asteroids, man!” Lud screamed.

“Why am I not coming?!” Reel pulled the yoke away from another crash.

“I won’t let you walk into a Crazy-Corn factory!” Jade answered. “You will relapse!”

“Jade, he knows these guys,” Marvin whispered to the other human. “Having him there could really help!”

“He’s not coming! Period!” Jade pushed past Marvin. “Talking is your job. You handle it!”

***

An entire city had been assembled inside the mined portion of ODA-1138, and the least present people there were miners. Most of the traffic, unsurprisingly, was composed of travelers just like the three humans, but a fair share of the people on the dark streets were locals who had laid the roots of their lives in that rock.

The gravity generators were installed on the crust, meaning gravity pulled people to the edge of the asteroid, rather than the core. That way, whenever Marvin looked up, instead of seeing the sky he would see the opposite side of the rocky shell, where more buildings were assembled, more streets were laid out and people just like himself looked back. It was a confusing, yet mesmerizing piece of impromptu architecture.

A few miners worked diligently on expanding the available space within the asteroid while extracting valuable minerals from the stone, but the majority of the prospectors was out on spaceships looking for riches on other parts of the belt. That left ODA-1138 mostly on the hands of smugglers, thugs and pirates, including The Admiral himself.

The further the visitors ventured into the guts of the asteroid, worst the premonitions became. Marvin was certain that, were it not for the company of a fully armored Jade, they would have been mugged at least twice already. He could just see all the colorful little eyes of the natives glued to his backpack, ambitioning whatever goods it might store!

It was a relief to finally arrive at the inconspicuous warehouse over which the a luminous sign spelled “The Admiral’s.”

Jade went in first, and Marvin followed expecting to be greeted by a dozen battle hardened mercenaries covered in scars. He could not have been more wrong.

“Welcome to The Admiral’s Crazy-Corn Funland!” a Nikal with green fur sauntered to greet them, excitedly waving his arms. The host’s single huge eye was somewhat red, and his teeth a rotten yellow. “Today we have a special deal. Buy three CC’s, get the fourth free! Ye-hehey!”

“Are you The Admiral?” Marvin asked, still incredulous at the inside of the warehouse. All around them, aliens from the most diverse parts of the galaxy munched on popcorn while listening to an upbeat music that matched the colorful stroboscopic lights. Some were flinging kernels into each other’s mouths, mostly missing wildly, while others threw popcorn into the air for others to catch.

Marvin had been wrong in his assumptions. The Admiral was neither Pablo Escobar or the elderly popcorn man from Central Park. He was a drug dealing Willy Wonka.

“I’m not The Admiral!” the green furred receptionist cackled. “I don’t even work here! Ye-hehey! See ya, humans!”

Once the Nikal had charged away, shoving his head into a popcorn bucket, a more contained individual approached. A creature of the same species as Reel, only a few centimeters taller, with larger head fins and an intensely red scales instead of Reel’s orange.

“Hello humans! Welcome! I am The Admiral! Crazy-Corn?” the small membranous hands held four popcorns, one of which The Admiral himself scooped with his freakishly long tongue.

“Sure, man!” Lud took the three others and shoved them into his mouth at once.

The Admiral watched in admiration, partially expecting the human to collapse on the ground. The four individuals stood silently until the green Nikal crossed the room running and screaming.

“Admiral, Reel sent us…” Marvin started, but was quickly interrupted.

“The Admiral. The,” The Admiral grunted, crushing a popcorn kernel in his tiny fist.

“Okay, The Admiral,” Marvin took a step back. “Reel sent us.”

“That little bastard still too afraid to face me himself?” The Admiral popped in another popcorn removed from his pocket.

“He had other business,” Jade said from behind her closed helmet.

“Too bad. I have a huge new shipment that’ll need delivering,” The Admiral started pacing further into his cursed funland. “Could used a skilled pilot like The Sarge!”

“That shipment!” Marvin stepped back in. “Did it come from Deven?!”

“Possibly… What’s it to you, human?”

“We’re looking for the Causer who raided Deven,” Marvin withheld just how important finding the pirates was, but he saw on The Admiral’s eyes that he understood, and that was not good.

“Well, then, looks like I have something you need!” The Admiral grinned and came to a full stop. “Tell you what, humans. I tell you which Causer crew brought me the corn, you convince our mutual friend to deliver the good stuff to my buyers on Eagle Nebula. What do you say?”

“I have a better idea,” Marvin looked around, finding a row of the little microwaving domes in which patrons turned regular corn into popcorn. “Can I use one of your microwaves?”

“One of what?” The Admiral asked.

“He means the rad-domes,” Jade said.

Lud slapped the back of Marvin’s head. “Pay attention, man!”

“Yes, yes, this way, but it’ll be ten credits!” The Admiral led the way to the little devices.

Without another word, Marvin unzipped his backpack and pulled out a plastic package, from which he retrieved a paper package. He shook it for a bit, the placed the item into the glass dome.

“Get ready to have your mind blown,” Marvin said and initiated the rad-dome. “This is what we humans call kettle corn. Extra butter!”

“W-What’s a butter?” The Admiral asked, his prominent eyeballs glued to the popping package that got larger and larger with every passing second.

When it was of a proper size, Marvin took the paper bag, held it right in front of the Admiral’s eyes and split it open. A cloud of hot smoke, greasy and delicious smelling vapor showered The Admiral’s face, and the red alien’s body shivered in anticipation.

“W-what is t-that, hu-human!” the host asked, not realizing all his clients were turning to the warm sizzling bag.

“I told you. Extra. Butter!” Marvin whispered. “Go on. Try it.”

The Admiral reached into the bag, hands shaking, moist dripping from his fins. His hand emerged with a single unit between his fingers, which he cautiously captured with his twirly tongue.

“BOOYEAH! WOW!” The Admiral threw his head back and squeezed his temples, gills and fins flapping wildly. “Yagh! YAGH! Woouf! That’s the stuff! YARK! Tight tight tight! Hit me again!”

“Not so fast!” Marvin handed the kettle corn bag to Ludwig, who at it by the bunches to the collective awe of all. Marvin started pacing around The Admiral, whispering seductively. “There’s much more where that came from. Butter, bacon, cheddar, chocolate…”

“I know none of those words,” the shivering Admiral said. “But they sound thrilling!”

“They are. I have them all on my ship, and they can be yours. To sell. To consume. You decide,” Marvin knelt behind the cold sweating humanoid fish. “All you have to do is tell me where to find the Causers I’m looking for!”