Forbidden Mates

Pine and Rain

Eva spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of everything that happened that day. She had been conversing with Stella, but eventually needed to put up her wall so she could focus on her own thoughts, and try to make sense of her feelings within her human side. She felt a little guilty cutting Stella off like that, because she knew how badly she was hurting, too. A wolf needs her mate, more than the human side does. Werewolves without mates have been known to go crazy, unable to control their wolf, and their wolf’s need for their mate. Many say it’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, and it could not ring more true for a wolf. A wolf is never the same when they lose their mate, but they have that connection, that devotion that they are always able to hold onto, to keep them sane.

With that thought, Eva felt herself slowly turn her mind to her own parents. A devoted couple; to each other, and to their pack. The loss of her father had been devastating for everyone. He’d been out for a run and gotten his paw caught in a hunter’s trap. A werewolf hunter. While they were known to sneak onto pack lands and actively hunt, they were rarely brave enough to leave a trap behind. Each pack had a team of trackers, who could track any scent to any location, so long as they had a physical item that held the scent. Setting a trap was practically asking for the pack to hunt you down in your own home, so it was very rare that a hunter would leave anything behind, especially something clearly designed to hurt a wolf. Alas, there had been a hunter desperate enough to capture a werewolf that he set a trap, and captured Eva’s father, Evan. He howled, calling his comrades to rescue him, when the hunter appeared. Pack members arrived just as his battle with the hunter was coming to an end. Unfortunately, the hunter had silver bullets, and had managed to shot Evan 3 times in the chest. The hunter was dragged back to the prison and interrogated; the Alpha, Roberto, wanting to know why he was so desperate to capture a werewolf. The only information he ever released was that he wasn’t after any werewolf, but a royal werewolf. He had learned Evan’s running route and targeted him specifically. He warned that when his master got his hands on that royal blood, no wolf could stand in his way, and he would become the leader of all of the moon’s creatures. Eva shuddered, remembering when they told her this story, and all of the implications it had on her own life. She would be targeted. She had wanted to go to school further away, but the pack leaders had insisted she attend where she can live in a Hold. Nothing particularly scary had happened to her, and she attributed it to the world not knowing much about her. Most wolves and creatures outside her pack believed Evan to be the last royal wolf, and they were all depending on it staying that way.

Eva managed to pull her thoughts back away from her father, and drifted back to thoughts of her mate. She decided to let Stella back in.

Thanks for taking the wall down. I was feeling lonely. Stella said softly.

I know, Stella. I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to process all of this. I didn’t even think I wanted a mate, but now that he doesn’t want me… without ever even meeting me… I feel lost. Eva rolled on to her side, and asked Stella a question she never thought would worry her. Do you… do you think he saw me and thought I was ugly? That I was not pretty enough, or strong enough to be his mate?

At first, Stella didn’t respond. Just when Eva was about to say something, Stella spoke up. I don’t ever want to hear that from you again. I’m not going to sit here and listen to you question your appearance, your worth, your existence because someone rejected you.

Not someone, Stella! My mate! My mate who never met me. My mate whose name I do not even know. And now that he has rejected me, I may never feel the pull to him, and will never know who he is. I just… I feel like I deserve to know why I was rejected.

You may never get that answer, Eva. Perhaps he already had a chosen mate, and couldn’t bear to break her heart by leaving her for you. By leaving you a note, rather than seeing you, he absolves himself of all the guilt associated with your heartbreak, and his heart remains intact.

I guess I hadn’t thought of that. Funny, that used to be one of my great fears; that my mate would already be spoken for… everyone scoffed at me, telling me that was a ridiculous notion. That it happens SO RARELY that it’s annoying to even suggest it. And here I am. Rejected and without a mate.

Okay, that’s enough self-pity. I know it hurts, it feels like my heart was ripped right out of my chest, too. But I think there is something else we should talk about…

No. I know where you’re going with this, and I will not even entertain it.

Okay, then. When you’re ready, I’m here. As always. Until then, let’s try to get some sleep. Heartbreak only hurts when we’re awake.

Eva managed to drift off to sleep for a few hours, but it was restless. She tossed and turned and woke up 2 hours early. Rather than trying to go back to sleep, she decided to go for a run. It was still dark out, but morning was coming. Even though she wasn’t much of a morning person, she loved being out on a run when the sun was rising. She was putting on her running shoes when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she caught a strange scent wafting into her room. It wasn’t fresh bread, or cinnamon and sugar. It was a new scent, but almost equally intriguing. She had never smelled it before, but there were hints of pine and rain; almost like a forest after a storm. That was truly her favorite scent in the world. Her most peaceful place in the world was the forest after a heavy storm, when all you can smell are the leaves of the trees, the pinecones and freshly washed earth. She even felt Stella perk at the scent. Eva felt like she was almost in a trance, rushing through her door and trying to follow the smell floating down the hall. She chased it to the stairwell and threw open the door.

“Holy Goddess, Eva! You scared me!” Nate clasped his chest as he turned to look at her.

“What are you doing here? Is someone else in this stairwell?” Eva asked, with a confused look on her face.

“No, it’s just me. But –” he sniffed the air, “do you have a new body wash? You smell absolutely intoxicating. Like… jasmine and pear trees.” He took a step toward her and she felt Stella react with almost a purr at the compliment, and her stomach flip.

“Weird… I was expecting to find someone else here. Anyway, to answer your question, no… no new body wash. In fact, I didn’t even shower yet. I’m heading out for a run.”

“Oh, so was I! Could I join you?”

“Absolutely not. I want nothing to do with you. I don’t know what this new game is you’re playing, but I won’t fall for it.” Nate’s face fell.

“Look, I know I’ve been a real jerk. I’m trying to be better. It’s just a run. Not a date, not even a coffee. Just two Royal Moon pack members, out for a run.”

Eva eyed him suspiciously, then he reached up and gently tapped her shoulder, and she felt the sparks again. She took a step back, out of his reach, and took a deep breath to try and collect her thoughts. Unfortunately, the rain and pine scent had completely overwhelmed her in this stairwell and Stella was feeling equally inebriated by it.

Stella, what is going on?

I… I don’t know. Let’s just go for the run and find out.

“Okay. You may join me for my run. But do not touch me, and do not think that this changes anything between us. But it’s still dark out there right now and if there is really a vampire hanging around, I guess I don’t want to run into him by myself.” Eva turned and continued down the stairs, through the lobby and stopped just inside the door. “And I mean it when I say don’t touch me. I don’t care if it’s the mating season, or if I have a leaf stuck in my hair. You will control yourself or I will literally rip your head from your body.”

Nate raised both hands in surrender, “I promise. I will not touch you.”

Eva eyed him suspiciously, but reluctantly agreed. “Fine.” She took off and made Nate catch up. They headed toward the park so they could run through some semblance of forest rather than on concrete, and watch the sun rise through the trees, like it does back home on their pack land. As they got warmed up they picked up their pace, and Eva found herself strangely enjoying the run with Nate.

“So,” Nate began out of nowhere, “what’s your favorite color?”

“My favorite color? Why?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been chasing after you for years, but I’ve never really taken the time to get to know you. You know, the little things that really make you, you.”

Eva side-eyed him but decided to humor him: “Aqua.”

“Aqua?” he chuckled, “that’s a shade… so blue is your favorite color?”

“No, aqua is my favorite color.”

“So… green then?”

Eva couldn’t help the little laugh she let out. “No, truly, aqua. It’s like teal. A mix of green and blue. It’s a versatile color; one day aqua can be so light, and the next it can appear darker. It might be made from two standard, primary colors, but nothing about it is standard. It’s the color the of the waters I want to swim in. The color of the rain when the sun hits it just right. It’s the color of the baby elephant my father gave me as a child…” she paused, “I’m sorry, I’m sure that sounds stupid.” She turned to look at Nate.

“Not at all. It was so much more than I expected as an answer, and I feel like I learned more about you by you telling me your favorite color, than I ever have in any other conversation we’ve ever had.”

Eva felt weirdly touched by his curiosity about her, and decided she should follow suit. “So what about you?” She asked him.

“What about me?”

“What’s your favorite color? Duh.” She said with a chuckle.

“I don’t know that I’ve ever picked one. I’ve never cared much about colors.”

“Wow… I think that’s really sad. Color adds so much to life. It adds to every experience you have, no matter how big or small. Can you imagine a world without color? What would the sunset be, if we couldn’t see the beautiful hues it creates? What would be a rainbow?” She stopped and looked over at him, realizing he had stopped running. She turned around and walked toward him. “What’s up? Why’d you stop?” It looked like he was having a conversation with his wolf.

“Oh just, Ian arguing with me over life decisions. Let’s get moving again.”

They ran in silence again for a while, and when the sun began to rise they sat down on a log together to watch it. All around them, they could hear the animals waking up to begin their day. The birds were chirping, the squirrels were chattering to each other. If you listened hard enough, you could almost hear even the trees begin to awaken, as their leaves reached for the sun’s morning rays. As a wolf, it’s a given that Eva would enjoy being in the forest, but she still was always amazed by how much peace it could bring her. The sunrise, the animals stirring, and Nate’s tranquil scent enveloping her was lulling her into such a peaceful state. He was sitting close to her, but not quite touching. Despite there being no contact, Eva was sure she could feel electricity building between them, and that the moment they touched it would shock her all over again.

As if he could hear her thoughts, he leaned over and bumped her shoulder with his as he started to say something, but the shockwave that went through them both stopped his words in his mouth. They stared at each other for a few minutes as the birds continued to sing their songs, and the sun began to rise, casting a warm, yellow glow over them. Eva found herself lost in his eyes, noticing for the first time how beautiful they truly were. Deep pools of ember, with flecks of green. She felt herself drowning in him, in the moment. Nate seemed to feel it, too. He slowly raised his hand, brushing his thumb over her cheek, smiling softly when he heard her breath hitch from the tingles he left behind. They stayed that way for a few minutes longer, as Eva and Stella both remained caught up in the moment, and Nate relished his closeness to Eva. As he slowly began to lean toward Eva’s face, Stella snapped out of it. Eva! Stop!

Eva blinked a few times and shook her head as she jumped up from the log, just moments before his lips touched hers.

“Let’s head back – I have class soon.” And with that she turned and began running, as Nate hurried to catch up to her as she exited the park.

“I’m sorry about that… I don’t know what’s going on today! I just feel strangely drawn to you. I mean, I always have been, but it’s been especially strong since I saw you yesterday.”

Before she could even process a reply, she was hit with an overwhelming smell of fresh bread with cinnamon and sugar. She hadn’t even realized they were passing the public library. The smell was so strong it stopped her in her tracks, and she began looking around, trying to find the owner of that smell. It was the first time she couldn’t smell Nate’s pine trees and rain all morning. She spun in circles, and the world slowed down as she scanned the streets, peering at the windows overlooking where they stood. She threw her hands up on either side of her head, feeling overwhelmed in the moment.

“What’s wrong? You look upset, or confused, or… I don’t really have any idea…” Nate said, coming toward her. He reached out and touched her, trying to draw her attention back to him and felt a weak spark, much weaker than the one they had experienced in the woods.

Eva was speechless. When she smelled her mate, she nearly forgot Nate was even there. When he touched her she barely even noticed the tingle.

“Noth-nothing… I just… thought I smelled something. Let’s get back to the Hold. I’ve had enough weird for one morning.”

As they finally reached the Hold, Eva turned and looked at Nate.

“Thanks for running with me this morning. I’ve known you basically my entire life, and this was the first time I felt like I was talking to an actual person who might actually care about me in any sort of way, romantic or not.”

Nate took a step closer, though being careful not to touch her, just in case the spark was weak again. She didn’t seem to notice last time, but two weak sparks in a row could quickly undo a lot of the progress he was making. “I know… and I truly do believe we are meant to be together, and I feel it every time you’re near. I just couldn’t understand why I felt it and you didn’t. It made me crazy… you know how possessive wolves are of their mates! I felt like my mate has been right in front of me for years, but you reject me every time you see me. I realized the other morning, when I pushed you up against the wall that you deserved so much more than I was offering. And that if my mate treated me the way I’ve been treating you, I wouldn’t want them either. Just…” he reached forward as if he were going to touch her face, and pulled back at the last moment, “Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t touch you…” he gave her a small smile. “Anyway, just… try to keep an open mind with me.”

“Look, I’ll be honest, Nate… something weird is going on. And I’m not interested in getting involved with anyone, especially you, unless I know 100%, without a doubt, that you are my mate. I have saved myself for my mate, in every way. Regardless of your pine and rain and weird sudden zaps, I’m not convinced it’s you. But, if you continue treating me like a real person, and not a piece of meat or a toy that belongs to you, I will try to keep an open mind.” She offered a soft smile, and then turned and walked away.

Nate watched her go, with a smile on his face. If things continued this way, the pull would have them kissing in no time. And once he got her sweet, innocent lips on his own, she would be all his. He just needed to keep her away from her true mate in the meantime.