From His Luna to His Rival's Mate

Chapter 21

SELENE

The history lecture hall felt warm and stuffy that afternoon. I sat in my usual seat near the middle row with my notebook open on the desk in front of me.

Professor Harlan stood at the front of the room talking about old pack alliances. I tried to write down the important points. I tried to keep my pen moving and my eyes forward.

But my mind kept sliding away from the lesson and back to last night. I shifted in my chair and made myself focus. Around me, students wrote quietly or leaned toward each other in low whispers, everything looked normal. I took a slow breath and picked up my pen again.

Just then a girl sitting next to me leaned over. "Sorry," she whispered. "Can I borrow a pencil? Mine broke."

"Sure." I reached into my case and held one out.

Her fingers brushed against mine as she took it, in that single touch, a strong wave crashed through me without warning... loneliness, a feeling of being completely trapped with no way out.

The emotions hit me so hard and so fast that my breath caught in my throat. My hand trembled on the desk. The room tilted for a second and I gripped the edge of the desk with my other hand, holding on, trying to keep my face completely still. I did not want anyone to notice. I could not let anyone notice.

The wave lasted only a few seconds, but when it passed it left me feeling hollowed out. My head felt heavy. My arms and legs felt weak, like the strength had been quietly pulled out of them.

I blinked several times and looked down at my notebook. The words I had written looked blurry. I pressed my lips together and breathed slowly, in and out, keeping each breath quiet and controlled.

My heart was still going too fast. What was happening to me? Why did these feelings keep arriving without any warning, pouring through me like they belonged there, leaving me drained and confused and unable to explain it to a single person?

I stayed completely still for the rest of the lecture. When Professor Harlan finally closed his notes and dismissed the class, I gathered my books slowly and carefully, moving like someone who was not entirely sure their legs would cooperate.

I stood up and walked toward the door with the other students, keeping my expression neutral. Elara appeared beside me the moment I stepped into the hallway.

"Selene." She matched my steps easily, her long hair shifting as she moved. Her face carried a look of concern that sat carefully in place. "Are you okay? You looked pale during class. I was watching you and something seemed wrong."

"I am fine," I said. "Just a little tired."

She didn't move away, she stayed right beside me, her eyes moving over my face like she was checking for something specific. "You do not look fine. You looked like you were going to faint for a second back there. Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened. I am just tired."

"Selene." Her voice dropped lower, softer. "You can tell me if something is bothering you. We are roommates. I care about what happens to you. If you need to talk about anything at all, I am right here."

Her words sounded kind, they were arranged the right way and delivered in the right tone. But something about them sat wrong.

I glanced at her face and her smile was gentle. But her eyes held something sharper underneath it, something watchful and focused in a way that didn't quite match the warmth in her voice, being near her made the tiredness in my body deepen.

"I do not need to talk," I said quietly. "I just need some rest."

Elara nodded slowly, but she kept walking with me. "Of course. Rest is important. I just want you to know that you are not alone, even when things feel heavy. That is all I am trying to say."

I didn't answer that.

"If Calder is giving you too much trouble," she continued, keeping her voice light, "or if Kael is making things complicated for you, you can tell me. I want to help. I mean that."

I stopped walking and she stopped too and looked at me with her head tilted slightly, waiting.

I looked at her directly. "I can handle my own problems, Elara. I appreciate the offer, but I need space right now. That is what would actually help me."

Something moved behind her eyes, her fingers twisted together in front of her, once, before she stilled them and her smile didn't waver. "Of course. I understand completely. I just worry about you. You seem so alone lately. It is not good to carry everything by yourself, that is all."

Her words landed somewhere they weren't supposed to, because she wasn't wrong, and that was the part that stung. I did feel alone, more alone than I had felt in a long time, and the feeling had been getting heavier with every passing day. I held her gaze for a moment, then nodded once and started walking again.

Elara stayed beside me for a few more steps. Then she turned down another hallway. "Take care of yourself, Selene," she called after me. "I am always here if you need anything."

I didn't answer, I just kept walking, the hallway felt longer than it usually did. My footsteps were slower than I wanted them to be, the emotions I had pulled from that brief touch in the classroom were still sitting somewhere in the back of my chest, not fully gone, just quieter now. Sadness, loneliness.

That awful feeling of being trapped without a visible way out. They weren't my feelings. I knew that. But they weighed on me anyway, the way borrowed grief sometimes does, settling in and refusing to leave just because it doesn't belong to you.

When I finally reached the dorm I closed the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment. The room was quiet, that was the best thing I could say about it. I pushed off the door and walked to my bed and sat down heavily, letting my bag drop to the floor beside me.

I stared at the opposite wall, no one could help me with this, not in any way that would actually reach the part of me that needed it.

I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes. The ceiling was there when I opened them again, plain and unhelpful. I closed them a second time and tried to let my body rest even if my mind wouldn't follow.

This second life was supposed to be my chance to do things differently, to be stronger, to get it right this time.

But right now, lying in the quiet of a room that no longer felt entirely safe, carrying feelings that weren't even mine, I felt the full weight of how alone I really was.