From His Luna to His Rival's Mate

Chapter 35

SELENE

A week had passed since the third Bond Trial ended and Calder walked away. I had not seen him since that day, he stopped coming to classes, his seat in the cafeteria stayed empty.

People whispered about it but I did not pay attention to the whispers. I was too busy trying to breathe through everything else that had happened. Kael was waiting for me outside the library when I came out around nine at night.

He was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground, the moment he looked up at me I could tell something was wrong, his face was too tight, his whole body looked like it was holding something back by force.

"Come with me," he said, not a question.

I followed him. We went to the old greenhouse behind the east wing, the one nobody used anymore.

The glass was dirty and the plants inside were mostly dead but it was quiet and private. He closed the door behind us and I could see his hands shaking.

"Kael, what is happening?" I asked.

He did not answer right away, he walked to the far corner and leaned against the wall and pressed his palms flat against the stone like he was trying to ground himself, his breathing was too heavy for someone who had just been standing still.

"The suppressants are failing faster," he said finally. His voice came out rough. "I thought I had more time. I thought I could keep managing it. But every time I use my power, even a little bit, it gets worse."

"Worse how?"

He looked at me and I saw the strain in his eyes, the way his whole body was vibrating like something inside him was trying to break out and he was using every ounce of strength to keep it in.

"It hurts," he said simply. "It is like my power is clawing at the inside of my skin trying to get out and the suppressants are barely holding it back anymore."

I took a step toward him. "Then stop using the suppressants, just let it out."

"You do not understand." His voice went sharp. "If I let it out here, if anyone sees what I really am..."

"Then what?"

He looked away from me. "Then I become a target."

The greenhouse was silent except for the sound of his breathing. He was leaning against the wall like it was the only thing keeping him upright, his hands had made fists and his knuckles were white.

I crossed the distance between us and reached out. I took one of his hands and uncurled his fingers. His skin was hot, like he was running a fever from the inside.

"Show me," I said.

"No."

"Show me," I said again. "Whatever it is, I need to see it."

He looked at me like I had said something crazy. "Selene..."

"I am not afraid of you."

He let out a short, bitter laugh. "You should be."

But he did not pull his hand away. I watched his face as he let whatever he had been holding back start to slip.

There was no sudden shift or transformation, but his power came off him in waves that I could actually *feel*. Like standing too close to a fire, the air itself was changing around him.

His eyes went darker, not black, just deeper and more intense, and for a second I could see the outline of something beneath his skin, like his true form was pressing against the edges of his human shape and the human shape was barely containing it.

Then he pulled it back down and it was just Kael again, but I had seen enough to understand.

"A True Alpha," I said.

He nodded once, still not looking at me. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means I was born this way, not bitten. Born." He finally looked up at me. "True Alphas are rare, and when they appear, certain people want to control them. Or kill them before they become too powerful."

I thought about what that meant, being born with power and having to spend your entire life hiding it, taking drugs just to seem normal, never being able to be what you actually are.

"How long?" I asked. "How long have you been taking the suppressants?"

"Since I was seven years old."

Seven, he had been hiding this since he was a child.

"My family..." He stopped and swallowed hard. "My family was killed because of what I am. Because we refused to help someone use my power. After that, I learned to hide. To make myself small and be invisible."

I squeezed his hand. "You are not small."

"I have to be." His voice was quiet and final. "If people know what I am, everything becomes a target. You become a target."

That was when it hit me, the reason he had kept his distance. The reason he had taken the suppressants even when they were hurting him. The reason he had not wanted to bond with me in the first place.

It was not because he did not want me. It was because being close to me made it harder to hide what he was. "What happens when the suppressants stop working completely?" I asked.

He did not answer. "Kael, what happens?"

"I don't know," he said, and for the first time he sounded genuinely scared. "I have never gotten this far before. The suppressants have always held. But they are failing and I do not know if I can take stronger ones without it killing me."

I pulled him closer, he resisted for a second and then he let himself lean into me. His head rested against mine and I felt his breathing slow just slightly. "There has to be another way," I said.

"There is not."

"Then we find one."

He pulled back and looked at me. "You don't understand what you are saying. If people find out what I am, they will come after me, and because you are bonded to me, they will come after you too."

"Let them come."

"Selene..."

"I mean it." I held his gaze. "If the academy knows about the prophecy, if there are people out there hunting it, then people already know there is something different about me. Being bonded to you does not change that. It just means I am not facing it alone."

He stared at me for a long moment, then he reached up and touched my face like he was trying to memorize it. His thumb moved across my cheekbone and his expression went soft and broken all at once. "I am scared," he said quietly.

"I know."

"I am scared of what happens when I lose control. I am scared of what I will do, and I am terrified of what will happen to you."

"Then we will figure it out together."

He kissed me, not desperate like the last time. It was slow and thorough like he was grounding himself in the moment, like I was the only solid thing in whatever was falling apart inside him.

When he pulled back his forehead was against mine and we just breathed in the quiet of the greenhouse with all the dead plants around us.

"If you leave now," he said, "if you walk away and act like none of this happened, I will not stop you."

"I am not leaving."

"People will come after both of us."

"I know."

He closed his eyes. "I don't want that for you."

"I don't care what you want," I said. "I care about what I want, and I want you."