The Fear Of Losing Him
1261 Words
Chapter 6
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Aaliyah knew something was wrong the moment Marcus stopped teasing her.
It was such a small thing.
Usually, whenever they met, he found some reason to make her laugh. He'd steal fries from her plate, complain about her terrible taste in movies, or send her ridiculous messages just to see how quickly she'd answer.
That Saturday, he was quiet.
Too quiet.
They were having lunch at a little restaurant Aaliyah had chosen. Marcus had barely touched his food.
“You're doing it again,” she said.
He looked up.
“Doing what?”
“Thinking.”
He smiled faintly.
“I'm allowed to think.”
“Not that much.”
That got a small laugh out of him.
But it disappeared quickly.
Aaliyah put down her fork.
“What's going on?”
“Nothing.”
She hated that word.
Nothing.
It usually meant something.
“Marcus.”
He looked at her.
“My ex called me.”
Aaliyah's stomach dropped.
“Oh.”
“She wants to talk.”
“Are you going to?”
“I don't know.”
Aaliyah looked away.
She suddenly felt stupid for being bothered.
They hadn't been together very long. She didn't have the right to tell him who he could talk to.
Still, jealousy came before logic.
“Do you still have feelings for her?”
Marcus's expression changed.
“No.”
The answer came quickly.
Aaliyah nodded.
“Okay.”
“But…”
She looked at him again.
“There is history there,” he continued. “I'm not going to lie about that.”
She appreciated the honesty.
She also hated it.
“Maybe you should see her.”
He frowned.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because if there's something unfinished, you should finish it.”
“Aaliyah.”
“What?”
“You're pushing me away.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
She looked down at her plate.
Maybe he was right.
She had spent so long protecting herself that she didn't know how to stay when something frightened her.
Marcus reached across the table and touched her hand.
She pulled it away.
He stopped.
That hurt more than she expected.
They finished lunch quietly.
When Marcus drove her home, neither of them said much.
At her building, she opened the car door.
“Aaliyah.”
She turned.
“I don't want my past to decide my future.”
She swallowed.
“Then don't let it.”
He looked at her for a long moment.
“I'll call you.”
She nodded.
“Okay.”
She got out.
But as she walked into the building, she already felt the distance between them.
The next two days were miserable.
Marcus still texted.
Aaliyah still answered.
But something had changed.
She missed the easy conversations.
She missed his voice.
She missed being close to him.
Most of all, she hated not knowing what was happening.
On Monday evening, she finally gave up pretending she was fine.
She called him.
He answered on the second ring.
“Hey.”
His voice was tired.
“Can I see you?”
There was a pause.
“Yeah.”
Twenty minutes later, he was standing outside her apartment.
Aaliyah opened the door.
Neither of them moved.
“I don't like this,” she admitted.
“Neither do I.”
“I don't want to fight with you.”
“Then don't.”
She almost laughed.
“That's not how it works.”
“I know.”
Marcus stepped closer.
“I met with her.”
Aaliyah's chest tightened.
“Oh.”
“She apologized for how things ended.”
Aaliyah looked away.
“And?”
“And I told her I'm seeing someone.”
Her eyes lifted.
“You did?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Marcus gave her a look.
“Because I am.”
She swallowed.
He took another step toward her.
“I don't want her back.”
Aaliyah's eyes stung unexpectedly.
“I was scared.”
“I know.”
“I kept thinking you were going to realize she was better for you.”
Marcus shook his head.
“Don't do that to yourself.”
“Do what?”
“Compare yourself to somebody I already chose to leave.”
Aaliyah looked at him.
He reached for her hand.
This time, she let him take it.
“I don't need perfect,” he said. “I need honest. I need you to tell me when you're scared instead of disappearing behind that wall you put up.”
She gave a weak laugh.
“You make it sound easy.”
“It isn't.”
His thumb moved gently across her knuckles.
“But we can learn.”
Aaliyah looked at their hands.
“I don't want to lose you.”
“You won't lose me because you're afraid.”
“What if I become too much?”
Marcus smiled sadly.
“Then we'll figure out what too much means.”
She laughed through the tears gathering in her eyes.
“You always have an answer.”
“Not always.”
He pulled her gently into his arms.
Aaliyah rested her face against his chest.
For a while, neither spoke.
Then she whispered, “I'm sorry.”
“I know.”
She pulled back.
“You're supposed to say you forgive me.”
“I do.”
“Then why didn't you say it?”
“Because you didn't ask.”
She laughed.
Marcus smiled.
Then he kissed her.
Slowly.
Not like he was trying to erase the argument, but like he was reminding her that they were still there.
Still together.
Still choosing each other.
When they separated, Aaliyah touched his face.
“I love you.”
The words came out before she could stop them.
Marcus went completely still.
Aaliyah's heart began racing.
“Oh my God.”
She covered her face.
“I didn't mean to say that like that.”
He gently pulled her hands down.
“Don't take it back.”
“I wasn't going to.”
“Good.”
He kissed her forehead.
“I love you too.”
Aaliyah closed her eyes.
The fear hadn't disappeared completely.
Neither had the doubts.
But maybe love wasn't about never being afraid.
Maybe it was about finding someone who made you brave enough to stay.
And for the first time, Aaliyah believed she might have found that person.
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