Goodgirl Gone Gay (and Pregnant)

The Talk

Saturday, August 13, 2018

Dear Diary,

I slept with Adam last night. I gave him my virginity. We were both so in the moment  that we didn’t even use protection. I’m pretty sure we needed it too, because I felt something warm before he went limp on top of me. I don’t know what to do. I’m freaking out. What does this mean for us? What if I got pregnant? What if I just ruined my chances at Brown? Damnit. I’m screwed. I mean, I was. Now I’m just in a horrible situation. f**k. 

Xoxo,

Izee

    I woke up on Saturday morning in the guest bed of Liz’s house. The memories from last night start to flood through my mind. Oh my god. I had s*x with Adam Trone. THE Adam Trone. I couldn’t help but blush. I realized I was in the bed alone and wondered where Adam had gone. I got up and used the restroom that was attached to the bedroom. I guess Liz knew I was here, because she had set an outfit in the bathroom for me to wear. I took a shower and put the clothes on before heading downstairs. The smell of breakfast wafted up the stairs and when I got downstairs I saw Liz and Adam sitting at the table eating. 

“There’s an omelet on the stove for you. I know you’re probably not hungry, but it’s great hangover food.”

    At that, my stomach flipped, but I went ahead and grabbed the plate before sitting at the table. 

“Thank you. For everything.” I said to Liz after I woofed down the omelet and orange juice. 

“Anything for Adam’s girl,” she said before winking at me. Both me and Adam’s faces turned red at her comment, which got a laugh out Liz. 

“So, what are the plans for today,” Adam said. 

“Um, I was thinking maybe we could go swimming or something today. What do you say Izee?”

“That sounds like fun. But I should probably get back home before my mom does. She’s liable to kill me if she gets home and finds out I’ve gone out without telling her before she left yesterday.”

“Okay, okay, I get it, good girl,” Liz joked. 

“At least let me walk you home,” Adam offered. 

“Okay, I guess that would be okay.”

    We walked out the door after I thanked Liz again. On the way to my house, I forgot I left my car at the school last night. 

“Oh s**t, my car! It’s still at the school.”

“That’s okay, we can run by and get it real quick.”

    On the way over to the school, Adam and I were completely silent. Neither one of us dared to speak up about what happened between us last night. When we got to the school Adam looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Instead we just said goodbye, I said thank you, and I walked over to my car. I sat in my car while I waved at Adam when he left. 

    I got home just in time, because not too long after I got up to my room, my mom pulled up. I was scared that she may have found out about last night, so I stayed in my room, even though there’s no way she would know. I was just guilty, and after what happened with me and Adam, I was terrified. If I was pregnant, there’s no way I could get around telling her about what happened. 

    Later that day, I got a text from Liz asking me to come over. I told my mom where I was going, and went over right away, hoping that Adam had told her about what happened. I walked up to the door where Liz was waiting for me, and by the look on her face I could tell she knew something. She let me in and led me straight to her room. 

“We need to talk,” she said as soon as she closed her bedroom door.

“Yeah. I know.”

“Adam told me you guys didn’t use protection last night and he thinks he didn’t pull out in time. Is this true?”

“Yeah. It’s true. And we didn’t even talk about what happened. I was so tired that I fell asleep right after, and when I woke up he wasn’t there. And when we went to get my car, neither of us said a word to each other than saying goodbye.”

“Oh gosh. Girl, you’re gonna have to talk to him.”

“I know, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

“I get that. Which is why I invited him over too. He should be here in a little bit. Do you want me to sit in here with you, or do you want to talk to him alone?  It’s up to you, I just want you to be comfortable.”

“I’d really like for you to sit in here with us, being you know what happened and you know Adam better than I do.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

“Thank you so much.”

    We talked for a while before we heard Adam pull up in the driveway. Liz told me to stay where I was while she went to go meet him. I was super anxious about talking to him. I didn’t know what to say to him. But I knew we needed to have the conversation, especially if I am pregnant. I heard them walking back up the stairs and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I was shaking, but hopefully it wouldn’t be too noticeable. They walked in the door. 

“Um. Hey Iz,” Adam said when he walked in.

“Hey,” I replied, still shaking. 

“Okay, so I’m going to sit here and just let y’all talk. If you need me, just tell me. But we really need to get all of this out in the open.”

Adam started, “Iz, I am so sorry about last night. I didn’t know something was going to happen between us. I shouldn’t have continued when I knew I didn’t have a condom on me.”

“It’s not just your fault. I let it happen, I started it. But, what are going to do from here on out?”

“I don’t know Iz. I mean. We have to wait to find out, which will be a little while. But, I think we should talk about us before we have to worry too much about that.”

“What do you mean talk about us?”

“I like you Iz. I’ve liked you for a long time now. And I know I screwed up big time, but I’m hoping you can look past that. I really want another chance with you.”

“A chance as in, us? Like, us dating?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was hoping for. But if you don’t want to, I completely understand.”

“Adam, obviously I want to. But I don’t even know you anymore. We’ve both changed so much from the last time we were together.”

“I know. We were just kids. But now. I’m serious. If it makes you feel better we can take things slow. Get to know each other.”

“I mean, I guess we could do that. But I think we should hold off on letting people know unless we actually do end up dating, you know?”

“I couldn’t agree more. Okay. So, I guess that’s it. Unless you have something else you want to talk about?”

“I definitely think we should wait to talk about the possible pregnancy until we know for sure. We don’t need to stress too much unless I am.”

“Agreed.”

    Liz, Adam, and I sat and talked about anything that wasn’t serious. We were all trying to get it out of our heads for now. This entire situation was crazy enough without adding too much stress at the moment. All we could do is wait. I looked down at my phone to check the time, and it was already almost 6 o’clock. I said I had to run. I didn’t want my mom to be upset with me, as I have already defied her so much in the past two days.