Goodgirl Gone Gay (and Pregnant)

The Party

Friday, August 14, 2018

Dear Diary,

Tonight I’m going over to Liz’s house for her party. She asked me to come over early so we can get ready together. I’m not exactly sure why, as the only conversation we have ever had was the one where she asked me. I’m terrified Adam’s going to be there. I wonder why he never told me he had a sister. Did he know? If he didn’t then how did Veronica find out so quickly? I’m so sick to my stomach, and it’s only 6 am. I still have 16 hours before the party tonight. I’ve never even been to a party, and I’m pretty sure mom would kill me if she found out I was going, but she won’t even be home tonight anyway. She’ll be gone to New York, where she has some fancy pants accountant meeting. She’s hardly ever home anymore. I’m almost 18 now anyway. I shouldn’t feel guilty. Besides, it’s just a party. Right?

    I didn’t see Veronica in band this morning, which was a bit odd. Usually she’s the first person on the field. I tried to text her, but Mr. Jensley caught me and took away my phone until after practice. Before I could text her, I saw her go into the counselor’s office. I decided I would wait and ask her what was going on later. I entered second period and sat down. Liz was sitting next to me and turned to me like she was going to talk, but was instead interrupted by Adam, who had a very peculiar expression on his face. He pulled her to the side, and I tried to strain and hear the conversation, but he was facing the other way so I couldn’t hear him. When Liz returned to her seat, she just shrugged her shoulders. Later on in the class, someone taps me on the back with a paper. It says To: Iz. I knew it was from Adam because he’s the only one I ever let call me Iz, and I’ll never forget his handwriting. I opened the note:

    Meet me at lunch. Courtyard. I need to talk to you about something important.

    He knew I would recognize the letter was his, because he didn’t put his name on it. I was intrigued as to what he could want to talk to me about. I don’t think we’ve had a real conversation since that last summer…

    When the lunch bell rang, I gathered up my things and started toward the courtyard. I saw Adam standing by a wall on the edge of the yard, and made my way over to him. I felt like someone was watching me, but when I looked around I didn’t see anyone looking directly at me. I shrugged it off and reached Adam. 

“Hey,” he said.

“Uh, hey,” was all I said back. Well, this is awkward.

I could smell his cologne. I was so close to him that I could reach out and touch his hair. I could touch his hand and look into his eyes, like we used to do when we would sit out on the dock and talk for hours. I pushed away these thoughts. They were of no use to me at the moment. I needed answers.

“I guess you’re going to that big party tonight, huh?”

“Yeah, your sister invited me.” He looked a little embarrassed when I said that.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you before hand. I didn’t find out until right before the summer when we…” He stopped himself, as we both knew what he meant. 

“It’s okay. I mean, that was a long time ago. We haven’t really even talked since then.” His eyes told me that what I said stung, so I just asked him what he wanted to talk about. 

“The reason Liz asked you to the party tonight is because I asked her too. I felt like maybe it was time to talk about what happened between us two that summer, being that you’re going off to Brown next year and I knew I would chicken out if I didn’t do something soon.”

“Why do you want to talk about now? After all these years? I mean, it was a kiss. Sure, you ran off without saying anything and didn’t talk to me up until right now, but I’m over that.”

“I wasn’t ready to tell you back then. And then I thought that it was too late, that you would think of me as a fool if I were to try and tell you later on. I thought you hated me. But when I caught you staring at me in English, I thought I might have a chance to explain myself.”

“I never hated you. I really didn’t. I was hurt. But when we got into high school, I figured it was something I needed to get over. So I did. I’m confused though. Why would you ask Liz to ask me to the party if you could’ve just talked to me now, or even came over to my house and talked to me?”

“Because it needs to be explained at the party. It will make much more sense there.”

    The bell rang, and I didn’t have time to ask him what he meant because he took off. I tried to search for Veronica and talk to her about it, but she was nowhere to be found. I texted her and asked “Are you okay?” My phone buzzed as soon as I put it back into my pocket. I couldn’t open it until after my next class, so I really hoped she was. 

    I spent that entire class period trying to decipher what Adam meant by his explanation making more sense at a party. I was worried about Veronica. When the class ended, I checked my messages. “I’m okay. Just having some issues with my mom, that’s all.” I sighed in relief. Veronica and her mom were always back and forth about something. I figured it would all blow over by tonight, as it usually does. 

    After school, I had to drive back to my house and pick up my band uniform that I forgot this morning. I texted Veronica to ask if she wanted to meet me at Sonic before we had to head to the school, as we do most Friday nights. She didn’t answer, so I figured she was busy. I was worried when she didn’t show up to the game, and I ask Mr. Jensley if he had heard anything from her. He said he hadn’t so I texted her again. Her response was “Everything’s fine. I just have some stuff I have to take care of.”

I didn’t respond because I figured she might just need some time to herself for a while. I spotted Adam and Liz by the concession stand on our way to line up for the halftime show. They seemed like they were having fun. I was anxious to see what tonight had in store for us all. 

After the game, Liz was waiting for me in the parking lot. 

“Hey Izee, hop in!” I got in the Mercedes, amazed at its beauty. 

“It was a birthday present from my stepdad. This was before he cheated on my mom and kicked us out of his house on the same day.”

“Holy s**t,” I said. “That sounds intense.”

“Yeah, but honestly mom cheated on dad, so I guess I can’t say I’m surprised it happened to her. What goes around comes around.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s one way to look at it.” We were silent the rest of the way to the house. 

“You mind if I run over to my house and pick up some clothes?” I said, even though I had absolutely no idea what I should wear. 

“I’ve actually got you some clothes! Adam told me this was probably your first party because you’re a pretty good kid, so I went shopping for both of us. I gotta say, I think you’re gonna look soooo hot in them.” 

    I blushed at the comment, which Liz thankfully didn’t see because she was already grabbing me by the wrist leading me up the stairs. 

“Damn, this is a pretty nice house. I’ve never seen the inside, just the outside.”

“Yeah, it took some work. In the divorce my stepdad was forced to pay for renovations on any house we wanted, and this is the one my mom chose. Something about an old lady selling pot? I don’t know. But anyway, are you ready to see that outfit?

    I changed into the clothes Liz had picked out for me. I was in a black and silver, glittery tight dress and a pair of silver high heels. The high heels kind of made me look like I had an ass, and it didn’t even matter that I don’t have s**t for t**s, because nobody would be looking at them anyway after they saw the rest of me. Liz had changed into a super hot, red, sheer dress that was super see through. She had me sit down and she did my hair and makeup before proceeding to do hers. When we walked out of her room, Adam was down in the kitchen setting up the drinks. We were definitely going to be the two hottest bitches in the house tonight, and by the look on Adam’s face when he saw me, he agreed.

    Before I knew it, the house began filling with people. Liz and I walked around while Adam introduced us. People knew me and they had definitely seen Liz, but when we walked around together, there was no question that we were being checked out by every guy, and some girls, in there. We reached the stairs, and Liz took off after one of the girls that had just walked in, yelling about each other’s outfits. That was my cue that our little show was over, so I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a drink. Adam was pouring. 

“Hey, you look great.” He said.

“Thanks, it’s all due to your sister.”

“No way. You’re a total babe, and there’s no denying that. Liz just knows how to make clothes bring out people’s greatest assets, and with you, that is everything.” I blushed, and he grinned when he noticed. 

“Thanks,” I mumbled, still blushing. Adam kind of chuckled at me before putting his hand on the small of my back. 

“Let’s go outside. It’s much quieter out here.”

    I agreed, it was much more peaceful, and not to mention beautiful outside. 

“I love listening to the crickets chirp, it reminds me of when we used to sit up late at night and play games.” I said without meaning to.

“Me too. I miss those days. I think about them alot.”

“Me too, honestly.”

“Listen, I know I kind of came out of nowhere with this whole thing, and I’m sorry. I just really want you to know that I didn’t want to run off and leave you like that.” 

“It’s okay now. But why did you?” 

“I was afraid. I thought Dad was going to make me move in with my mom after that summer ended. When we left the next day, he took me to go meet Liz and my mom. I didn’t want to tell you because I was lost. I thought I was going to lose you forever, and I didn’t want to say goodbye. After we kissed, I ran off because I needed to cry. I ran to the tent, and I cried myself to sleep that night.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No, you have no reason to be sorry. I’m the one that needs to be sorry, and I am. I am so, so, so sorry Iz. When I realized I wasn’t moving in with mom, I tried to call you. I picked up the phone to dial the number you gave me earlier that summer so many times, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I thought you hated me. And then when I saw you back at school, you looked so happy that I was afraid you didn’t care. But now, I know I was being stupid. I’ve been stupid for 6 whole years.”

“It’s okay. It really is.”

“It’s not though. And I would do anything to make it up to you. I am so-” I cut him off by kissing him. The kiss drew deeper, as I could feel every muscle in his body relax. I felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest, and my body was screaming for his. I had never felt this before in my life. When we kissed the first time, we were just kids. I didn’t even know what s*x was. When I was with David, it was difficult to control myself at times, but I wanted to wait until I knew he was the one. But with Adam, it’s like there’s electricity flowing through him to me and back to him. I felt the inside of my panties begin to get wet. I pulled away from the kiss before I lost control, not even knowing if that was what Adam wanted. 

“Damn Iz, that was hot.”

“Yeah it was, wasn’t it?”

    Adam walked towards me again and wrapped his hand in my perfectly curled hair. He began kissing me again. This time, I wasn’t able to control myself. My knees got weak, and as if he sensed it, Adam picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. It’s a good thing I ditched those high heels before coming outside. He carried me inside and upstairs, and we didn’t care if anyone was watching because all we could think about was kissing each other. When we got upstairs, Adam laid me down on the guest bed. I reached for his shirt, and he grabs my hand and asks “Are you sure you want to do this” I nodded my head yes.