The vampire and the assassin

Chapter 28

"One coffee. I bought you a pot of milk and some sugar. I realized I didn't know how you like your coffee." Xander set the cup down in front of me, and I looked up and smiled at him lightly, noticing his eyes had gone dark again in color.

"Thank you. I take coffee whenever I'm given it. Black would have been fine." I wrapped my hands around the cup for a moment and then decided to add a splash of milk and two sugars. I glanced up as I put the sugar down to see Xander watching me intently, which made me blush.

However, it seems you prefer a little bit of milk and two sugars." Xander chuckled. I hadn't noticed before when we'd spoken just how his features all seemed soft and gentle. I bit my lip and turned away for a moment to clear away the thought, as I really didn't like the line of thought that my head was going down. "I didn't disturb your thoughts, did I?"

"No." I wrapped my hands around the cup again. "I wasn't really thinking about anything in particular, and when I tried to, I couldn't focus on it," I told him simply as I turned my attention to him again and smiled a little.

"A lot has happened, so it is understandable." He tapped the menu to get my attention. "Have you made your decision yet?"

"I did while you were gone. I figured I would make myself focus on that at the very least." I looked down at the menu again for a moment and then back at Xander, as I needed to try and make my head focus. Tonight had to be about finding out things I could use for my end goal, and I wasn't sure if I'd get another chance like this.

Xander laughed quietly. "What would you like?"

"I was thinking of having the shepherd's pie with vegetables."

"Interesting choice," Xander commented.

"It's one thing I like to eat when it's getting to winter. It's warm and filling..." I broke off and blushed deeply as Xander got up, laughing quietly. I also wasn't ready to admit that it made me miss home either, as I remembered when my dad used to make it for me in the winter when we lived in the village.

"I'll be right back." I nodded as I looked down at my coffee and took a couple of sips, wondering where tonight really was going. Had he really just simply wanted a space where he and I could speak in private with no interruptions, or had there been something else? I wasn't sure, and it did make me feel a little defensive in myself if I was honest, but at the same time, I was going to allow myself the luxury of escape. I took another sip of my coffee and looked around the room as my eyes took in the features of a painting of a cherry blossom tree with the petals raining down towards the ground. I'd remembered being with a group of friends, as we'd skipped school one day and hung out together and sat under a cherry blossom tree. My friends had been drinking, and I'd passed up the offer as I'd just enjoyed the freedom to do what I wanted.

The door slid open, and Xander came back in, shutting the door behind him, and then sat down opposite me, making me forget my thoughts and focus on what was going to happen between us now.

"So what's the real reason you brought me here?" I asked, looking at Xander.

"So that you and I can talk, no barriers up, no titles, just Rosa and Xander, like I told you. It seems whenever we start to get to that point in our conversations, someone enjoys the pleasure of interrupting, so I figured tonight there would be no reason for interruptions. I had hoped that we would do this tomorrow, as I was supposed to be traveling back tonight, but fate determined I would come home earlier. Not that I am complaining." He chuckled. I noticed the way he'd sat opposite me; he seemed more relaxed than I'd ever seen him in the house. Even when we'd been talking in private, he still seemed on edge, as if he was ready to jump into the leader role at any moment when he was needed.

"You were in a meeting? Did I mess that up for you?" I looked at him, a little worried.

"No, don't worry about that, please. I had no plans to do business with those who had taken my time. The only good thing that came from it was that I had made plans to see a friend." He grinned.

"Did you get to see your friend?" I asked, feeling even more guilty if he had told me that he hadn't.

"Yes, I'd just turned up at the meeting when Dorian called me to tell me what had happened, or what the whisper of what happened was." I'd used it as my excuse to cut the meeting short by telling the other party they could keep their offer, and I left with Marie." Xander laughed. "So I got to come home early, I got to see my friend, and I even got to spend the night with you."

"When did you get back?" I asked curiously as I looked at him.

"Just before sunrise this morning. I'd spent most of my sunlight hours sitting there worrying about you and Dorian. However, do not tell him I said that, as I don't like to tell him that I am really worried about him." Xander laughed softly. I couldn't help but laugh a little at his comment, as it made me think about what Dorian had said to me about being mean to Xander to keep him keen, and clearly, that relationship worked between them both.

"So what is your business?" I asked after taking a couple of sips of coffee and wanting to change the conversation. "I mean, I know you go to meetings a lot. I get that as the head of a vampire... house? You've got to meet other head vampires and figure stuff out together, and I've heard you do actually have business with humans as well."

"Mmmhmmm." Xander retorted. "I could tell you about all the different businesses I have acquired over the years I have been unalive, but I get the feeling most would bore you as most are in dull work and dull things. As for meeting with other vampires, I am supposed to; however, I find meeting with other vampires gives me no joy to discuss things as they simply agree with me because of who I am." Xander shrugged. "And anyway, I certainly don't plan on wasting my neutral ground time talking about that." He chuckled.

"So..." I questioned quietly.

"Did you have time to think about our last conversation and what I asked of you?" Xander looked at me with no emotion whatsoever.

"I honestly thought you had forgotten or no longer wanted to know." I blushed deeply, but then Dorian's comment filled my head. He really hadn't forgotten.

"Of course not, Rosa." Xander frowned as if he were about to ask a question, and then he seemed to nod to himself. "I keep forgetting that the time I count as minutes, you count as hours." He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry if I led you to believe I was no longer interested, Rosa. It meant a lot to me finding out about you, which is one of the main reasons I wanted to bring you out away from the house so that we weren't disturbed when we spoke about something that is important to you."

"Thank you," I murmured as I looked at him for a moment and then looked down at my hands around my cup. "I've thought about it a lot," I answered honestly as I allowed my barrier to drop a little. "My life as a kid was pretty good when we used to live in our old little village."

"What happened to you? I cannot imagine that you thought that with your life you would be a maid to a vampire."

"If I'm honest, I'm actually very surprised I'm still alive." I let out a sigh and took another sip of my coffee.

"What makes you say that?" I glanced up to see if Xander really was curious about me. I couldn't help but let out a small, nervous laugh as he seemed to be watching me intently for some reason.

"I've made many mistakes, Xander; I am far from the saint you probably think I am." My nail tapped the side of the cup as I was lost in thought for a moment.

"Tell me about your life, Rosa. Help me to understand why you say that and think that." Xander's words had come out softly, which had made me look up at him as I stopped tapping the cup with my nail.

"We moved from the small village as my dad got a new job because the farmer he worked for... He couldn't keep my dad on anymore. We had to move to a big city. I hated it. I was bullied at school because of my name and because I was so quiet." I unwrapped my hands from around the cup and hugged myself a little. It was something I hated talking about. "Then... one day I lost it, and I just lashed out, and my personality changed. I got into fights with kids who bullied me; I started hanging out with the wrong kind of people for me."

"What did your parents have to say to that?" He asked. I wasn't sure what he'd seen across my face, but as I looked up, I swore I saw, for a brief moment, a look of worry.

"We argued a lot. My mum and I mostly My dad got involved when he had to, and he would try to reason things out with me because he and I were close, and my sister and I were always fighting and arguing too. That's what sisters did, but when I started with the wrong crowd, it got worse. Then one day I met a guy and... it was the biggest mistake of my life, shall we say." I let out a small laugh. I looked down into my coffee and let out a small sigh. Just how honest was I planning on being with Xander? Then again, it didn't matter just how honest I was going to be; he'd be taking these secrets to the grave with him when I was finished. As my brain thought that, a small, uneasy feeling settled on me.

"I can see why you're such a fighter if you've had all that happen to you in your life." I looked up as he nodded and then looked at me as if he saw me from a new perspective. "Am I right in guessing that is why you don't drink then? Hence the coffee rather than wine."

I did laugh at his comment this time. "Kind of," I answered. "Ummm... When I was with friends at first, I didn't drink, but as things got worse, I drank just to forget my troubles nothing too heavy that I was wasted despite the fact that I felt like I wanted to be like that—and then when I got older, I drank to forget the pain... I told myself when I got away from it all that I would never let myself sink to that level again. I used it as my... phoenix moment." I couldn't help but laugh a little at my comment, as it sounded stupid to my own ears.

"Phoenix moment?" Xander asked, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice so as not to upset me. I didn't mind if he had laughed, as I would have laughed if I'd heard it from someone else's mouth.

"Mmmhmmm, that's what I like to think of it as. I hit rock bottom and ended up in the ashes, but from the ashes, I rose and became a better person and a phoenix." Liar. My head screamed at me. You're not a better person at all; you're just like the monster sitting in front of you, fighting for your pathic life and doing what you have to do to survive.

"I like that," Xander said out loud, breaking my thoughts away quickly, which I was thankful for.

I looked up at him for a moment and then back down at my coffee as I finished it up, then shifted myself a little. "So what about you?" I asked as I heard a small laugh come from his throat. "I've told you a little about me, so it's your turn now." I couldn't let myself tell him the rest. It had been hurting trying to explain that much, and I could feel myself close to breaking point with my tears now.

Xander seemed to match my movement by shifting a little, then looked at the door, got up, and opened the door. I looked down at my empty cup and found myself laughing a little at his actions. Of course, he'd known someone was outside; he was a vampire, and he had amazing hearing, but I couldn't help but wonder if I'd just made the big bad vampire lord uncomfortable by asking about him and his life. I had no clue, but a part of me felt a little happy about it.

"I'll tell you about me if you sit and eat."

I looked up as he set the plate of food in front of me with one hand and then passed me the cutlery with the other.

"Ok." I agreed as I unwrapped the cutlery and began to eat. As I took the first bite of my food, my stomach seemed to do a flip of excitement at the idea that the food was now here. I had a feeling that it wouldn't take me that long to eat my meal, given how hungry I was feeling.

"What do you want to know about me?" I looked up at him from under my eyelashes. Good question. What did I want to know about him?