Endless Recess

Et Tu| Part 1

Christmas is tomorrow

Mathew thought as he leaned on his window.

The view wasn't pretty, but at least it was not as corpse-filled as most other windows that he knew of.

A thunder made him look up to the clouds by instinct, it was dark and thick, rain would fall soon.

I wonder if it will snow?

He took a sip from a glass of water he held on his right hand and stared at its content once he had quenched the thirst.

A reflection of his face on the water, distorted.

For the past few days, things had changed within him, and he didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad one.

Talking with Annie was always an experience, every time it felt like she knew so much about him, even more than himself.

Sometimes it confused him, others, it enlightened him.

But it always was conflicting.

He felt uneasy, alien in his mind, for thoughts that he never had now invaded it.

He left the window alone and closed it, the cold cut his face with its unrelenting assault, it would be a freezing winter for sure.

But no matter how cold it was right then or would be, he had made a promise for that day, and it was time to make it true.

The door of the room made the gym opened and he walked in with a towel over his shoulder.

He was completely alone, not even Sarah wanted to work out if it meant taking a long and freezing "shower" afterward.

He closed the door and walked in, standing right in the middle of the room.

He took off most of his winter clothes, staying only with a T-shirt and his pants on, he pulled out a black elastic hair tie and made sure his messy and long hair wouldn't get in the way.

Without the hair covering half of his face, the likeness between him and Mason became more apparent, his fine eyebrows almost feminine.

He shivered.

But didn't hesitated.

Immediately he began stretching.

He was not the most athletic person, so he had a rather common body for a guy his age.

Eventually, he felt warm and ready, so he dropped to the ground and began doing push-ups.

It was difficult at first, but after a couple of times he began to get used to it, this was a short-lived victory, however, once he reached fifteen it became nearly impossible to lift his body again.

He grunted in frustration, yet nothing changed, he couldn't even achieve twenty push-ups.

Sweat began to appear on his body, he nearly collapsed on the floor after his arms gave up.

Frowning and irritated, he changed position.

He laid on his back and prepared to do sit-ups.

Once again he began slowly.

One, two, one, two, one...

He repeated in his mind, slowly changing, going somewhere else that was not the present.

It was not so long ago, in sports class.

The coliseum was huge, with countless seats where people would seat to watch the football games of the school.

And while it was a sight to behold, naturally, it was still smaller than more professional coliseums in other cities.

The summer heat was great, and the morning dew glistened on the green grass.

Birds flew high above, while dozens of students jog under the unforgiving sun.

Mathew was among them, his hair wild and messy as it had always been, he made sure to keep it that way, tied in a ponytail.

"Come on! two more laps!" the sports teacher shouted at his dying students while giving them a big smile.

Mathew was at his limit, but it wasn't time to stop, yet.

He pressed on despite the pain in his legs, no matter the burn in his lungs and his unmatched thirst.

Until one of his classmates fell on the ground, unable to go on.

He looked around him and saw the others slowing down after the other guy fell.

"Finally," he thought.

Joining the group slowing down, Mathew was finally able to get a rest.

"Alright, alright! take a break while the others use the field" The teacher said shaking his head.

Mathew joined the group going to the steps, collapsing on the nearest shadow he found, there weren't many after all.

It was always easier to go along with the current.

He looked around and saw everyone sitting with their friends, that day he was the new kid in the school, and to be honest, he felt a little more at peace being left alone, for the moment that is.

Sitting there out of breath, he wondered, what was Mason doing at that moment?.

Mathew stop.

He was already out of breath.

Sitting on the ground he looked up at the ceiling.

The steam leaving his mouth with each breath rising above him.

No, don't give up

He thought, immediately rising from the ground and doing some more stretches.

He remembered the day he sat with Annie on the roof, he had carried her words with him ever since.

"Listen Mathew" Annie said, her raspy voice low, uncharacteristic from her who always spoke loud and clear.

He turned his head to see her, she stared at him with eyes that could make any man wish to do whatever she wanted.

It was that mixture of danger and attractiveness that made her so, interesting.

"It bothers me that you don't make use of your full potential, would you be willing to make a promise to me?"

He was shocked that Annie out of all people, would ask for anything, and especially from him.

"Of course, what do you want?"

Annie looked away for a moment as if carefully picking her words, she didn't look at him next.

"Promise me that you will allow your true self to flourish"

His true self, she had spoken about it constantly, yet he never really understood what she meant.

When he was scared, he was scared.

There never seemed to be any, hidden part of himself, but then, how is it that he, who had always been a coward, could show great courage, even greater than his brother's when the time was dire enough?

He didn't believe it, but, he wanted to.

"I promise" he said, taking his hand near Annie, his pinky raised "I p-p-pinky promise"

Annie turned to face him, first looked at the finger curiously, then her face turned serious as she stared at him with clear, disappointment.

"Seriously? what are you? six?"

Why did he even try to do that? he avoided looking at her and began to lower his hand in shame.

However, he was stopped, Annie grabbed his pinky with hers.

"I swear..." she rolled her eyes and looked away with a smile.

If it was out of pity or something else it didn't matter, at least he didn't felt as miserable anymore.

It was an unreal scene, he never imagined sitting there with Annie, or anywhere else for that matter.

He spared a glance at her, she had her eyes closed and the jacket covering her face from the nose down, was she sleeping?.

She seemed so different when the two of them were alone, maybe it meant something?

He fell on the floor with his arms stretched, he would not stop doing push-ups until he was satisfied.

"Never look back..." He mumbled.

The memory of him, sitting in the shadow, resting and comfortable, taking the easy way out from anything that brought him the slightest of discomforts.

A comfortable life, something that he had to learn to let go of.

"...only look forward," He said, lowering his body and rising it again.

Eventually, he finished.

In pain and sweaty, he steps out of the gym ready to go to the bathroom and get clean, when Emma appears carrying an interesting-looking object in her arms.

" Mat!" she yelled, rushing to him with an excited expression.

" What are you carrying?"

" hehe, Look at my genius!!" She lifted the object with pride " A saw!!"

Mathew stood in slight confusion, she lowered her arm and passed the object to him, it was clearly sloppy and poorly made, but every necessary piece for a functional saw was there.

"This is the first step to improving our lives in here! with it, I can use the dozens of useless desks laying around in here, extra wood for better barricades, maybe even some actual bedframes!"

She was very excited, it was a comforting sight for Mathew, he had not spoken about it with her, but she was starting to appear more like Layla.

A thought that made the whole moment even better, for despite her grief and guilt, now it seemed like Emma was starting to heal, or maybe it was just having something else to think about for a change.

Either way, Mathew's chest warmed with her smile and energetic words, bringing back memories of Emma from times past.

Back when he was a new student in the school, he found himself sitting alone in the garden, on a bench not too close to the fountain and not too far away.

The perfect place where little people would choose to hang out.

Too far away from the fountain where most couples sat and too far away from the benches closer to the hallways, where most students sat.

Even if it meant sitting under the sun, he had the peace he so much searched for.

He was listening to music while writing something on his cellphone.

Then, a waving hand made him look up, it was younger Emma, with Layla next to her.

He remembered the feeling of anxiety that speaking with two complete stranger girls that washed over him.

Only after a few seconds, he realized that they were waiting for him to take off his earbuds, hastily he did so.

"About time!" Emma said leaning closer to him "Name's Emma, you are the new guy right?"

He instinctively moved away.

"Sorry for my friend" Layla pushed the joyful girl away " She gets excited with new people, I'm Layla" she then stretched her hand forward.

"Mathew, nice to meet you" he said squeezing it with his.

"What are you writing?" Emma sat next to him.

While it felt nice for someone to take the first step so soon, since he knew no one in the school besides his brother, and it felt intimidating to approach anyone at all.

Yet he still felt it was too soon, but incapable of being stern or disrespectful he went along with them, as he always had.

"I like to think about magic and the unknown, so I write about it whenever I'm free" He told them, slightly ashamed.

"That's cool!" Layla said sitting on the free space next to him.

Now trapped between both girls he felt a little uncomfortable and afraid.

Do I smell bad from the sports class?

Was one of the thoughts that came to mind, and soon, it was all he could think about.

Did I forget to brush my teeth?

His mind got flooded by fear, he began to think of a way to leave, he could say he wished to go to the bathroom, but so soon after they just sat with him? that would be too obvious.

"So what have you written for now?" Emma said leaning closer trying to see what was written on his phone.

He turned off the screen out of instinct.

"Oh! N-nothing interesting yet!"

Now he had done it.

If it wasn't obvious before, now it was as clear as day that he was nervous.

He could see them raising their eyebrows a little bit, doubting him, probably thinking he was weird.

Even if it was too obvious he couldn't take it anymore, if they had waited for a few more days, approached him when it was a better time.

"A-actually I-"

"I LOVE to read about wendigos" Emma said excitedly.

"I prefer more peaceful things like fairies, I read once that in this town there used to be a witch" Layla whispered.

Then Emma gasped as if she had seen a ghost.

"What if the witches made the wendigos?"

Out of nowhere, both girls were arguing about giant lizards and flying saucers.

"What do you think?" Emma said smiling at him.

Mathew remained silent for a moment, he had not expected them to ACTUALLY be interested in those topics.

Maybe they were doing it with the simple desire of making him feel included.

It was that honest smile, that joyful look on Emma's face, that made him want to believe the best of everything he was thinking at the moment.

"Well, witches could have done it, but what about demons?" he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Soon the trio spoke for a great length of time about ghosts and then lizardmen disguised as government officials.

It was the day the three of them became friends.

And he watched Emma go on and on about the countless things they could do with a drill and all the materials from the carpentry class downstairs.

"...maybe even SHOWERS, that would be just amazing" She said with what can only be described as an orgasmic expression, then, she looked at him " What do you think?" She asked, smiling broadly.

He too smiled at her, ignoring both the freezing cold aided by his lack of clothes and still wet skin.

"Hello?" She waved in front of him.

"I think it's an amazing idea! you may become Santa for all of us if you keep up with this"

"Hohoho bitches!" She took the cruse saw from Mathew's hands and raised it above her once again " AHHH!!! I'm so excited!" She then realized Mathew's state " Hey, shouldn't you take a bath soon?"

"Yeah, I was about to do so"

"Wait a moment, since when do you even exercise? Inspired by me?" She hit him with her elbow a couple of times with a pleased expression.

" I-" He hesitated, it felt somehow wrong to share that Annie seemed to care about him, it made him feel special to the only one knowing " Y-yeah, I want to be better like you and Sarah"

Emma grinned.

"You should join us next time we workout then! Whatever you did back there, you have no idea, of what Sarah will make you do" She shivered, not by cold " I can still feel the pain in my calves, why even focus on them anyway?!"

Both friends laughed, but soon Mathew began to shiver with cold.

"Okay, don't let me distract you anymore, go take a bath, you stink" Emma said pinching her nose.

"Jackass" Mathew said stretching his arms forward, his hands sweaty.

Emma screamed and ran away back to where she came from.

Mathew went to the bathroom and eagerly made sure to clean his body off the sweat.

It was a tedious process, and painful as well, with his body recently having experienced an intense workout by someone who had not done many sports in his life.

Once he was done, he picked up his phone, he quickly went over the dozen of games he had, but all needed internet.

Disappointing.

He walked out of the bathroom and went to his bedroom, he opened the door was surprised by Annie, who was sitting on a desk looking out to the dead world outside from the window.

"A-Annie!"

"M-Mathew!" She said mocking his stutter.

He smiled awkwardly and closed the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked walking to his pile of clothes.

"I expected you would change clothes in here but" She looked at him flirtatiously "What a disappointment, you are already changed" she winked and returned her attention to the window.

He felt the blood rushing to his face.

"Do you look out the windows Mathew?" She asked without looking at him.

"I don't like to do so" He walked closer to her "You do?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm tired of being trapped in here."

"I'm sure we will get out eventually, I still believe that there are people out there"

"Don't give me that crap, we would have seen something at this point" She looked at him with irritation " We haven't even heard the gunshot of someone blowing his brains out"

Mathew sat on a desk near Annie, looking out with her.

The view was, disheartening.

Not much had changed from weeks ago, but that was the problem.

The same buildings, the same cars.

Even the same trash bins in the same place.

The only thing that always changed, but at the same time never did, was the horde.

Mathew stared at their carcasses, either standing with their heads looking at the ground, or walking very slowly.

Moving in apparently random directions.

Annie glanced at him and smiled.

"A good reason to look out the windows is that you can learn from your enemy"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Let me show you"

Annie opened the door to Mathew's horror, he quickly grabbed the nearest piece of clothes near him and covered his nose.

Even with it, the rotten smell of the undead was strong, however, Annie didn't make any face showing disgust.

"You should breathe it all through your nose, you will get used to it soon" She then did the unthinkable and took a deep breath, smiling when she saw Mathew's horrified expression.

"What are you gonna do?"

"As you may know, they can see and hear just like we can" she pulled out a pocket knife and placed the blade on the thumb of her left hand " But they are not good at both, however, they have an exceptional sense of smell for fresh blood"

With a single motion, she cut a deep wound on her finger, the crimson liquid quickly made its way out of the open flesh.

"A-Annie!" Mathew raised from the desk.

"Calm down, it's only a tiny cut" She gave a step back from the window "Come, look at what I want to show you"

Mathew had a weird feeling, an uneasy sensation, but Annie had always acted different, think different, and done differently than anyone else.

So that sensation was no strange for anyone dealing with her.

He approached the window.

" Look at them" She ordered.

Mathew leaned forward and pop his head through the open window, below were dozens of corpses standing, none of them moving.

Annie stretched her left arm through the window as well, and then she clenched her fist, making the blood fall to the ground.

As soon as the blood touched the heads of the corpses, they reacted, raising their heads and arms, opening their jaws in silence.

Then, Annie moved her arm from one side to the other, and like starving dogs staring at a piece of fresh meat, they followed.

" Watch how only a fraction of the horde react to me " Annie then joined Mathew, and both stared at the corpses " They can only smell blood from a ten meters radius"

He looked around and indeed, around ten meters around them all of them were now trying to reach Annie's arm, while the rest stood in place.

" This is why we should focus on what ita ahead of us, instead of pretending things will ever go back to normal, we would have learned so much of how to become better suited for this world, living with the hopes it will ever mold to fit our wishes, it will instead consume us" She retrieved her arm " Literally"

Mathew closed the window.

" I just think it is a necessary thing, at least for now, give everyone some time, and little by little, I don't doubt they will come around"

" So you support what I say"

He considered his words carefully, not looking at her, he was aware of how powerful her stare was.

" I believe we have to become better suited for this world, but... I see no reason to let go of our dreams and hopes"

" That is the problem, all of you think they are a necessary thing to move forward, there are countless other drives for people to push themselves ahead, and nowadays we don't need dreamers, we need to act"

The room fell silent as Mathew stared out the window and Annie looked at him, a strong stare that commanded to be seen, she didn't need to say anything but Mathew's body knew it, felt it.

In the end, he gave in and turned his head to see her eye to eye.

It looked like a tiger about to jump.

Her expression blank, shielding any emotions she felt, but her eyes wide open, digging themselves into his brain.

" I-I don't know, yet" he said, his voice weak and low, insecure of his answer.

Annie's face relaxed and she looked out the window once again, he couldn't tell if she didn't like his answer, or lost interest in the conversation.

It was Annie as usual.

" You will have to know eventually, Mathew. We all have to choose a side eventually, either by our own will or-"

With a knocking on the door, they turned their heads to its source, Annie staring it irritated.

Then the door opened, and Mason gave a step forward, stopping when his eyes fell on the girl next to his younger brother.

Mathew was about to say something when he noticed how Annie's expression had changed yet again, the tiny frown of annoyance she had, gone.

Replaced by her usual smirk.

Annie walked away from Mathew and as she did, Mason steps aside from the door, for a moment they were side to side, and when they were, Mason's usually serious face, turned stern.

In the next second, only the two brothers were left and Mason closed the door.

"You hang out with Annie now?"

"W-well, a little bit-"

" You shouldn't, Annie means only trouble for anyone who mingles with her"

" Why is it that everyone hates her so much? We have been talking for a while now and she-"

" Seems nice? that is even more suspicious, she wouldn't be so kind to you unless she wanted something out of it "

" How do you know? Has she-"

" Yes, anyone who tells you to stay away from her is because they have experience with her" Mason walked closer to him " And it never ends well"

Mathew was getting tired of Mason ramming into his life, always so sure of himself, like if he couldn't do any wrong.

" I told you I'm not a child anymore! I can do whatever-"

" You can do whatever you want but it is clear that you are still a child if you can't see Annie is up to something!"

" Y-you " He felt the anger run through his veins " You always think you are right in everything! but if you are wrong about her?!" He walked closer to him.

" But I'm not" Mason and Mathew stood a few feet apart now " Listen to me when I tell you to stay away from Annie"

" I don't have to do what you want"

" I want to make sure you are okay, is that so bad?"

" You always want to make sure I'm okay! But let me-"

" With mom and dad gone, I am the one in charge of keeping you safe!"

Mathew clenched his fists.

" But you are not mom and dad! and I-"

" I am your older brother Mathew! You have to listen to me!"

Mathew gritted his teeth.

"I-I don't-"

" Mathew! "

The loud voice and commanding force of Mason overwhelmed him, the knot in his throat and his insanely fast-beating heart betraying his wishes, letting tears fall, adding shame to his frustration.

Mason then seemed to relax, and even feel guilt, looking at his brother like that.

" I'm sorry" He looked at him with regret " Just-"

Mathew rushed out of the room, running with full speed, his legs moving on their own as he ignored his brother's calls to stop.

He ran away from the hallways and down the first floor of the dining hall, the dark and secluded room, where no one else ever went, the place that seemed the most logical if he didn't want anyone to see him that way.

He stood in the middle of the great hall, trembling with frustration and anger, at everything, and himself.

Mason...

He thought, his breathing erratic, his clenched fists shaking.