Endless Recess

A Cold Winter Night| Part 2

Annie was out on the roof, as far away from the stairs as she could, resting on the ground as she stared at the dark sky above.

She had a coin in her hand and constantly made it fly high above her, just to catch it and repeat.

In her mind, there was not much else to do for entertainment in that place.

Everyone was busy pretending that the world was still the shithole from before, making pointless homework that was no longer relevant for the world they lived in.

Or trying to stage elaborate activities that she saw as wasteful, or unnecessary, like Christmas, that was only a few days away.

She never liked Christmas or any festivity for that matter, the idea of spending time with the family was probably the least appealing thing she could think of before the outbreak.

And now that she no longer had to worry about that, her new least favorite thing to do was without a doubt, being trapped in a room with the horde of idiots trying to make decorations for that stupid day.

But she was bored out of her mind.

Then, she had a great idea to help pass the time, allowing herself a private mischievous smile.

Excitedly, she stood up and began walking to the stairs, the strong wind hitting her face with her hair.

It was early in the morning and most students were in their "classes", an idea that she couldn't understand, not that she had put much thought into it anyway.

The hallways were empty, but just to be sure, she began to carefully take each step, suddenly fully eliminating any sound her boots made.

Her movements were fluid and natural, at first glance she looked like if she was walking normally, not even lowering the speed of her walking.

She approached the first door and opened it, Adam's bedroom.

Like most rooms, it had all desks either in another place or neatly stacked on the walls, leaving a large space at the center where his makeshift bed was at, as well as the things he had taken for himself when Emma unlocked the lockers.

Acting quickly, to not risk getting caught, she rushed to the nearby pile of backpacks and opened each one of them.

Searching through its contents with skill and speed, clearly not her first time.

She found nothing worth enough for her to keep, but soon she reached the few boxers that he had.

Smiling triumphantly, she pulled out a pocket knife from her back pocket, the blade was black and had some type of ornate design.

Knowing full well that she would be the most suspicious in case simply cutting them in half, she instead carefully cut every one of them on their sides, small enough to go undetected unless carefully inspected, but big enough to worsen after a few uses.

She stored everything back and made her escape.

It was a silly way to find enjoyment, but other than killing herself it felt like the only way to have some fun.

Walking in the hallway she stopped in front of the broken window, courtesy of Mr. Landon.

Moving the curtain away, she stared at the garden.

The bushes that remained were either half or completely devoid of leaves, darkened and black from the fires that got a little out of hand.

She worried for a second her plan would backfire when the walking corpses began spreading the fires all over the garden, but thankfully the school itself managed to survive.

Her heartbeat quickened at the memory, all the adrenaline of that moment, despite the confidence in herself she was still impressed by how well everything turned out that day.

Then she stared at them.

Her smile disappeared as she got lost in the movements of their bodies, their faces.

She could be anywhere, with anyone, but it was all the same.

They were but brutes.

She didn't understand the difference between the world of before and the new world.

What was different? Everyone still went around the world as human husks.

It was truly pathetic.

She remembered the world from before, walking around these very hallways and everyone around her as nothing but husks, just like those outside the choking security of these walls.

She remembered returning to her cage after her " friends" got too handsy, she couldn't after all stay with them for long, no matter how intimidating she was, people would always fall to restrain themselves, one day.

But that was as much as she was willing to dwell on the past.

She closed the curtains.

Looking back she would only stop moving, all that lay behind her was, a grizzly reminder of her weakness.

Weakness that she got rid of years ago, yet, somethings would always be with her, no matter what she did.

Oh s**t, that's why you don't f*****g think of the past you dumbass.

She thought as her recently improved mood soured each passing second more.

Walking ahead she went to the bathroom, passing near the classroom where all the children played "pretend".

Once inside she went straight to the sinks, letting the water rush she unraveled the bandage that the little doggy had put on her cut.

Now in clear view, she inspected the wound.

It was healing well, but there was room for improvement if the doggy didn't twitch as much as he did that night maybe he would have done a better job at properly cleaning the wound.

Placing her hand under the stream of water she began cleaning it herself, forcing the already closing wound to open again.

It was painful, but the pain was in a way, comforting.

As she diligently cleaned, she thought of him.

Of Mathew.

So vulnerable to change, so perfectly made to mold into something else.

This was not her first rodeo, but it was undoubtedly the most peculiar, given the circumstances.

If she wanted to ensure her survival once everyone woke up from their fantasy and things went to s**t, she needs to be sure there will be a trusty person with her.

It was a simple matter of survival.

That should do it.

She secured the wound under the bandages again, ideally, she would go for new ones, but they should save those essentials for later.

Looking at herself in the mirror she made sure her face had nothing unsightly on it.

But after a quick inspection, she got lost in her image, how many times had she done this?

A little girl stares at the mirror, it was her.

Back when she was weak.

Her face is bruised and her eyes dead, no matter how long she stared, all she saw was someone too fragile to do anything daring.

She washed her face, letting out a tired sigh.

While unwanted, it was an inevitable thought whenever she saw her image.

It didn't trouble her or upset her. Remainders could be good.

The door of the bathroom opened and looking at it without moving her head she saw probably her least favorite person in the school apart from the janitor, who she hoped was dead, or alive, and dying slowly.

-Great, the goth- Heather said with a disgusted expression.

She looked, uncharacteristically untidy.

Her eyes were slightly sunken and tired, her hair messy and she walked a little hunched over, pretty much collapsing her body on the sink and standing only by her hands that kept her body still.

Annie remembered walking back inside the school from the roof yesterday but stoping as she heard shouting.

She was late to know what happened, but just in time to see Heather storming away and Mason walking to the nearby window, only to punch the wall next to it.

Back then she lacked enough information to assume what had happened, she had an idea, but now, she pretty much had confirmation.

This was an irresistible candy, her smirk returned at the same time Heather's frown aggravated.

"Why the long face, queen?"

Heather washed her face with care ignoring Annie's attempts to anger her, but she wouldn't give up so easily.

"Looking like a broken heart from here" She winked at her, gaining a hateful stare in return.

"Get f**k, Dracula" Heather said drying her face with a towel.

"I may in fact, I guess he's free for the picking now" She then smiled maliciously " And you are right, I will definitely be sucking something"

That hit the spot, Heather stared at her as if she was about to jump and attack her.

I want to see you try

Annie thought as just in case she stood more firmly, now her body facing the enraged ginger in front of her.

Then Heather's expression changed, from anger to near absolute disdain.

"Got a big mouth uh? no surprise you fit so many in there" Heather smirked a little "Don't try to provoke me, Annie"

"Or what?"

She said that but didn't expect her to immediately tackle her. To fast to react in time and surprisingly strong enough, all Annie could do was grab both of Heather's hands as the latter pushed her back to the wall.

The impact almost made her cry out loud, the burns on her back still sensitive to touch.

"I'm done with your s**t!" Heather yelled at her, unable to hit her thanks to Annie's hold on her hands, yet she tried.

Annie was confident in her strength to hold her in place but this proved to be more difficult than anticipated, they were matched in strength.

"It's that all you've got?!" Annie teased, headbutting Heather.

Due to the height difference, Heather's nose was spared, but it clearly hurt her anyways.

Furious, Heather raised her knee and hit Annie directly on her stomach, it was strong enough to expel all the air from her lungs.

Losing strength in her legs Annie fell on her knees, still holding Heather's hands but now in a much more vulnerable position.

"You know? this reminds me of when we first met" Heather said with anger in her voice "I should have never helped you"

Kicking her again, this time on the left side of her head, Annie collapsed dangerously close to the cabinets below the sinks.

Annie realized the great mistake she had made underestimating Heather's strength.

Heather breathed heavily as she looked down on Annie, who stayed on the ground, looking at her with the same hatred.

Then, Heather calmed down.

Turning around she walked up to the door.

"You are a parasite" She said looking behind her before opening the door of the bathroom and leaving.

Annie had a little difficulty standing up, the kick got her good, so instead, she gave up and sat on the ground with her back leaning on the nearby wall.

Fuck! I need a smoke!

Frustrated, she pulled out a single cigarette from within her black leather jacket, placed it on her mouth, and then lit it up with a lighter she also took from her jacket.

Letting the intoxicating smoke enter her lungs she could feel the pain in her head fade away with each passing second.

"I should have never helped you"

She remembered her face as she told her that, and she hated it.

That expression, hatred? disgust?

Regret?

She wanted to say it didn't matter, but somewhere deep inside of her, it did.

It doesn't matter, don't look back, only forward.

Her strength returned and she stood from the ground, walked to a stall in front of her, and threw the cigarette into the toilet.

After pulling the lever she walked out of the bathroom.

Only forward, I have to keep going forward

With that last reminder, she walked up to the door of the classroom, took a deep breath, and erased the anger in her eyes, she didn't need it at that moment.

She opened the door loudly and saw her objective.

Mathew.

Once she took him out of that lie, the two of them went straight to the roof.

As soon as they opened the door they were greeted by powerful winds.

They walked to Annie's favorite spot, as far away from the entrance as possible.

They sat on the floor with their back against the concrete chest-high walls that made sure it wasn't as easy to fall from the roof, besides it provided much-needed protection from the wind.

"W-why did we came here?" Mathew asked unsuccessfully hiding his nervousness.

"I don't really like crowds you know? I prefer quiet far away places, don't you?"

"Sometimes, but it's very cold"

"What's this for then?!" she pulled his jacket, realizing she managed to scare him, she softened her raspy voice and relaxed her face, Heather's earlier encounter was still too fresh in her mind, he let him go "Sorry, I'm in a bad mood this morning"

"Why is that? did something happen?"

"Nothing just woke up on the wrong side of my poor excuse of a bed"

"Y-yeah, it is not the most comfortable way to sleep, but at least it's better than the floor" he tittered once he finished talking.

They sat quietly for a while, staring off into the distance, while Mathew nervously trying to think of a conversation topic, Annie had already planned what she wanted to talk about.

"Have you-"

"What do you think of yesterday?" Annie spoke louder over Mathew.

"Well, we are lucky to have you" He replied embarrassingly.

"Oh~ Why do you say so?" She leaned in closer, making the already blushing Mathew move slightly further away.

"Is not obvious? you saved us!" He said excitedly " And wiped out an entire HORDE of them! if the main entrance of the school was closed, you would have secured the entire school! you were amazing!

While not easily flattered, no one would reject such well-deserved praise.

"It was not that big of a deal and if we are honest, I was just lucky"

"Not at all, a lot could have gotten out of hand, if I may ask, how did you do it? "

"Pour paint thinner on some heads?" she said looking at him with a broad smile.

"Avoid freezing?"

Both of their expressions changed, she was serious and he looked like a lost puppy.

"Do I really need to tell you?"

"I mean if you don't want to tell me-"

"No, you i***t" she rolled her eyes " You too should know how it feels"

Mathew looked away for a moment understanding completely what she meant, this made Annie very glad, yet her expression remained neutral.

"Back when you went out with the group for the first time, to secure the dining hall" she pulled out her coin and began tossing it on the air to catch it with the same hand " Everyone heard of what you did, twice"

"Those two times, I don't know what got into me"

Annie noticed the hesitation in his voice, the way he avoided looking at her, he was ashamed.

This upset her.

"You don't give yourself enough credit" She stopped playing with the coin and made some distance from him " the old man, Sarah, Jose, your brother, and Emma, had you not acted that instant, they would be dead"

She let her words hang on the air for a moment, raising her head and looking into the chaotic black clouds on the sky.

The image of a furious river came to mind, far away below her, a single slip, all that it would take.

"It was adrenaline" Mathew said making her look at him " Anyone could have done the same"

"But no one did" She replied "Not even your brother, did he?"

"It was a stressful moment, anyone would have been scared to act"

"But you were not"

"M-maybe but-"

Annie grabbed his cheeks and prevented any word from coming out, then she leaned closer again.

She was capable of making many expressions, most of them in one way or another either intimidating or mocking, or unreadable at all.

Yet, she looked at him differently.

It was an incredulous look, but at the same time, the type of look you give at someone when you understand them.

"I just said you don't give yourself enough credit, and you keep proving me right" she released her hold on him and pinched his cheek "You are adapting"

"Adapting?" he asked while stroking the place she had pinched.

"I think having " classes" is stupid, we should be preparing for the future instead"

"That's what classes are for!" he said nervously giggling afterward.

Annie looked at him deadpan, worsening his blush.

"I mean the real future, not the one they promised us, the one that unfolds in front of our very eyes"

She stood up and gave her hand to him, who after a brief doubt, accepted her help.

Now on their feet, she leaned on the concrete wall, Mathew reluctantly approached the wall and looked down on the horde of undead.

"You are doing it wrong"

She snaps her fingers to attract his attention, once she has it, she points somewhere forward.

He looks ahead instead of down, at the countless broken buildings, not actually destroyed, but simply, a fractured image of what once was.

The world around him transformed.

Far away he could see the streets he walked with her mother countless times, there was a clothes shop right around a corner.

He could see himself as a child, his tiny hand holding his mother's.

A blonde tall woman of green eyes like his, a potent red lipstick on her tiny smile.

She looked back, and he did too, his father walked towards them with Mason by his side, both holding ice cream cones in their hands.

He was a large man with very short hair and a mustache, his skin tan, and eyes green as well.

He reunited and Mason stretched his hand to him, the ice cream was his favorite, vanilla with strawberries.

He smiled with melancholy.

"Don't think about the past"

He looked at Annie, who was closely watching him.

"Things will never be like they used to, there is no point in ever looking back" She stared at the streets once again "Only forward, look there"

She held her arm forward, her index finger pointing at where he was looking before, it was one of the many streets right in front of the entrance of the school.

"The police cars" She said lowering her arm "We can find guns in their car, and there are others there" she looked in a different direction to another police car "Anywhere you look there are opportunities"

"But, why do you want weapons?"

"In case we find others"

Mathew was a little taken back by how direct and fast she delivered those words.

"Do you think when we find others they will be like the bunch of delusional kids taking " classes" right now? Or do you believe we and whoever is at the coliseum are what remains of humanity?"

"Not really but, I don't believe others would be, violent to us" Even he was doubtful of his words "After all we are-"

"Children? There is a lot of people out there that harmed children for much less than survival Mathew"

He felt uncomfortable, there was truth in what she said, but it would never be an easy pill to swallow.

"But there are also good people" Some form of conviction returned to him "There will always be those that wish harms on others, and those who wish to prevent harm"

"That is only because they have something to gain by doing so" She stared at the coin in her hands "Police officers, firemen, doctors... do you think they would work the same way if no one paid them?"

A strong wind made both of them step back and cover their heads as windows whizzed.

"Sometimes they would help someone when they were off duty or without thinking twice" He mumbled.

"You only saw or heard the most amazing cases Mathew, like everyone else" She seemed irritated as she spoke "You never hear of the countless patients that die because they can't pay for treatment, the people that burned because someone didn't want to risk himself, or the months or years of waiting it takes for the law to do something when they are ACTUALLY needed"

He knew that the world was not perfect, that everything was more complicated than it seemed, Good or Bad, sometimes, it was hard to tell which was what, or what it stood for.

"The reality is that everyone does something for others when they will gain something in return" she once again leaned on the short wall "Do you think anyone would give two shits that we are teens? once they saw our supplies, their humanity would go out the window"

Mathew stayed silent, he too leaned on the short wall as the wind blew hard all around him.

Annie remained silent, letting her words sink in.

"I can't believe that everyone we meet will be against us"

"Then you won't survive much in this world, Mathew"

"You sound like my brother" He said smiling.

"Mason has the right idea, but he lacks the spirit, he is not as brave as you"

Mathew snickered.

"I am not at all brave, maybe you give me too much credit, Annie"

"Why?"

He looked at her with sad eyes, however, it was briefly, he soon looked in the opposite direction.

"When Layla was taken by the corpse. when she was pinned down by it, both Emma and I couldn't do a thing"

"What did I told you? the last time you mentioned this?"

Mathew mumbled something under his breath.

"Look at me, Mathew"

Slowly, he turned to face her, his eyes watery, grief his predominant expression, but also embarrassment.

"What did I told You?" She stood straight, facing him.

" You told me" He struggled to maintain a stable voice " You didn't want to risk yourself, because you are a coward "

"And what else?"

" But I see you can be so much more if you only stop pretending to be afraid "

Annie smiled satisfied by his words.

"I never really understood" he cleaned his tears before they fell " What did you mean by that?"

Another powerful wind forced them to hold on to the wall.

Annie proceeded then to sit again, Mathew joining in immediately.

"I once knew someone who was a coward, too scared to do something, so another person ended up stepping in and did what they couldn't. Due to that, they were never happy, because the opportunity to act, was taken away by those who acted faster" She stared directly at his eyes.

Finding it difficult to stare for so long at her, Mathew looked away for a second, as soon as he did Annie grabbed his face and forced him to look at her.

"You must look at fear in the eyes, and laugh at it while it sees you overpower it, and I see in you Mathew, someone that can flourish in this new world, unlike the fake of Mason"

"My brother is not a fake" He said frowning slightly.

"He may fool them all, but I know he doesn't fool you, and definitely, does not fool me"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, after seeing this she released his face and looked ahead.

They remained in silence for a moment, as they stared together at the faraway city of ghosts, so far yet so close.

"You are weird" Mathew said laughing shily.

"Say what, punk?"

"I don't mean it in a bad way!" he raised his hands in defense " You seem made for this world"

"I grew up with monsters, to me, there is nothing different in this world"

The wind blew with greater intensity than before, it was freezing, so cold even Annie felt slightly compelled to suggest going downstairs, she was barely able to hide her shiver.

"D-do you want my jacket?" Mathew asked nervously.

This took her a little by surprise, but it was a welcomed one, after all, his perception was better than anyone else in that group, she seemed like the only one to notice this, he was precisely what she needed.

"With a voice like that, should try to be more assertive" She winked at him.

He was a little lost on what to do for a moment, then he swallowed and took off his leather jacket, stretching his arms with it at her.

"Use my jacket if you are c-cold" He smiled awkwardly.

Annie burst into a hearty laugher, making him more ashamed than he already was.

"I have a better idea" She said, smiling mischievously.

She grabbed the jacket and sat right next to him, their shoulders pressed against each other, then she used it as a blanket for both of them.

Mathew was shocked and impossibly red.

Easy, like a child.

She thought looking at him with a glance before looking up to the sky again, knowing that men could easily be made into puppets by things as simple as that.

"W-won't your burns hurt? If you press yourself against me" He asked, his voice shaky.

"Don't worry about it, Handsome" She messed up his hair.

But, he is also cute

She thought, looking up to the dark clouds in the sky.

It no longer felt as cold as she thought.