Flipside

It’s Only the Beginning

I spend the next few hours relaxing and unpacking my things. I run my fingers along the tub, considering a soak but decide maybe a dip in the ocean. I nod my head and decide that’s exactly what I’ll do. I undress and slip on a bikini, then a pair of shorts and a loose tank top. I exit my room and notice Taz’s door cracked, I can hear him faintly speaking in a slightly angry tone, which is something I hadn’t heard from him yet. I frown and decide not to bother him, and head downstairs.

I walk out back, past the pool, and open the gate. As I walk out, Taz sees me from his balcony. He smiles and holds his hand out to me, then puts his cigarette in his mouth and continues speaking on the phone and walks into his room. I shrug and continue, closing the gate behind me. I walk to the water and stand in it up to my ankles. After a few minutes of enjoying the saltwater breeze in my hair, I hear a familiar voice from behind me.

“Hey! Devil fruit users can’t be in the ocean, you’ll drown!” I turn and see Iñaki grinning. I fake swoon and start to fall, he catches me gently and laughs.

“Oh no, captain! Now you’re in the ocean too!” I look down as he stands next to me in the water. He drops, soaking both of us. We laugh hard and he stands, helping me up.

“Sorry if I scared you! The moment seemed too perfect.”

“Oh no, that was hilarious!” I smile at him, “when’d you get back?”

“Oh just a few minutes ago. I heard someone go downstairs and thought it was Taz but then I saw you! You decided to stay with us?”

“Yeah! You guys sound like you keep a fun place here.”

“That is true!” He points at me as he rips off his shirt and playfully dives into a wave.

I bust out laughing, hands on my hips as I watch him. Another warm breeze blows past me. I hold out my arms and close my eyes, breathing in deeply. I could stay in this moment for the rest of my life. Just as soon as the thought crosses my mind, I’m literally yanked out of it. A pair of arms wraps around my waist from behind me, lifting me up and spinning me in the air. I yelp and look back as he sets me down- Taz, of course.

“Hey there, Princess!” He dives into the ocean and swims over to Iñaki, high-fiving him and giving him a big hug. “Come on in, the waters awesome!”

I sigh happily and smile. I take off my shirt and slip out of my shorts, although I consider that they’re already wet from Iñaki taking me down. I gracefully dive in after them, sinking into the warm blue water and re-emerging next to the boys. They swim around while I float, and we enjoy a bit of time in the calm ocean. Taz asks Iñaki if he’ll go grab some smokes so he bounds out of the water for Taz’s stuff on the beach. I watch as he lights two cigarettes and then starts carefully walking back. I turn to Taz and meet his eyes, “hey, you okay? You seemed kinda upset up there.” I nod toward the balcony.

He shrugs but Iñaki responds instead, handing a cigarette to Taz and one to me, “it’s the girlfriend.” His voice has a slightly mocking tone. I look over at Taz.

“She…well, she doesn’t like me being away. She doesn’t trust me.” He takes a long drag and sighs as he exhales.

“Well, that’s lame. If there’s no trust, what is there?” I furrow my brows as I smoke my own cigarette.

Iñaki laughs and Taz glares at him, then turns to me and softens his gaze, “blind devotion. On my part, at least.”

Iñaki swims over and puts his arm around me, pulling me tight against him and holding his other hand out in front of Taz, “now see, what he means is that she’s cheated on him before. Twice! But he stays anyway.”

Taz scowls. I look between the two of them, “that’s terrible! No offense, love, but she sounds awful.” Taz looks down and kind of smiles, but doesn’t say anything.

“Mhmm!” Iñaki nods, “And for what? Taz, you could have any girl you wanted at the drop of a hat, and you stick with that girl!” He looks over at me and adds quietly, “you’ll learn quick that I really don’t like her.”

I laugh lightly, “ Yeah, I gathered that. He is right though, Taz.”

He laughs and smiles genuinely. “Thank you.” He says quietly, almost shyly. “So, Harmony, why don’t you lend me some advice?” He smirks.

“Well, I can tell you every guy who ever cheated on me never did it again. See, I don’t grant forgiveness to men who cheat, I grant revenge.”

“Ooohh!” Iñaki grins, “what’s the worst revenge you’ve ever gotten on a cheater?” He watches me intently and I catch a sparkle in Taz’s eyes.

“Oh jeez, well…I’ve got a couple great stories. Do you wanna hear my favorite or the worst one?” Taz asks for my favorite and Iñaki asks for the worst. I laugh and shake my head, “Okay so my favorite, I lived with this guy. One of the first relationships I ever had. I had gone to visit his mother. When I came home, I caught him on the couch with another girl. I dropped my stuff on the counter and he just sat there, staring at me. I went into our room and locked the door. Now, I was wearing one of his shirts, yeah? So I packed a bag of my stuff and then took off his shirt and put on the sexiest bra I owned, walked out of the room with my bag, shirtless, and tossed his shirt at him. Hit him in the head with it, hard. The girl jumped up and stared at me. I put my hands on my hips and said ‘I’m going to my parents house. If you and ALL of your s**t isn’t gone by tomorrow morning, it’ll be in the driveway by noon.’”

They both watch me, grinning. When I stop talking Iñaki says, “okay, so what happened?!”

“Well I put a shirt on in my car. Cried while I drove to my parents house. Ate a good dinner and ice cream and let myself cry all night. When I went home the next day, sure enough, he was there. Trying to be all ‘it’s not what it looked like!’ But I never said one word to him, just started grabbing his stuff and taking it out. Any time he tried to stop me I just pushed past him. Once all of his stuff was out, I took the trash bag out of the kitchen and pushed him outside, handing him literal trash and shutting the door in his face, then locked it. And then I called his mother and told her what he did.” I grin devilishly and laugh a bit.

“Badass!” Taz says, grinning.

“Super badass!” Iñaki says in agreement, “Wait so, what’s the worst one?”

I laugh nervously, “Alright. So years later, I was dating this guy. It wasn’t super serious but we had been dating for a few months. We went out to a bar and I noticed all these girls flirting with him. I asked one of them what was up, and she said ‘oh he’s a player, I’d steer clear of him. He told a friend of mine he loved her to get in bed with her just last night.’ So, I was a bartender at the time. I usually got home between 3 and 4 am, so I had NO idea he was up to anything. I watched him the whole night and then in walks his brother, who my boyfriend hated. He told me he had a nasty childhood and I was really sympathetic of it. Well his brother, who I had never officially met, came up to me and ordered me a drink. My boyfriend got all defensive and just when my boyfriend went to get in his face I got in front of him and said ‘what do you care? You’ve been sleeping with half the town our whole relationship. Maybe your brother would do me better.’ Then I turned around and made out with his brother right in front of him. I looked back at my boyfriend and then turned and tapped his brothers cheek and walked out, left him there, and haven’t spoken to him since.”

“Ruthless!” Iñaki cheered.

“I love it,” Taz said laughing. “It almost sounds fun.”

I bust out laughing, “yeah except for the whole being cheated on thing. It’s not fun and it’s not okay.” I look at him pointedly. He sort of half smiles back.

“Hey, if you wanna get your revenge, you could consult our specialist here!” Iñaki says to Taz.

Taz glances at me, “out of curiosity, what would you tell me to do? About my cheating girlfriend.”

I stare at him for a minute and shake my head, “Well first of all, just because I’m ruthless to boys who cheat doesn’t make me an expert, Iñaki!” I glare at him playfully, “and secondly, I really don’t know. I mean honestly, if I were in your exact shoes, I would just cleanly break it off. Say something along the lines of ‘you say you can’t trust me but after you’ve violated my trust twice, I don’t see this working.’ Or something like that. The best revenge that you could take at this point, Taz, is to single up and then show her you’re living your best life. Without her.”

He nods and Iñaki looks between us. “Gosh, this got deep quick.”

“Agreed!” Taz and I say at the same time and laugh. Taz adds, “let’s go get some drinks.” We all get out of the ocean and gather our things from the beach, heading inside. Taz brings a few drinks out to the seating area on the pool deck and joins me and Iñaki. We sit and drink, sharing some much lighter conversation when my phone rings. I dive for it and see my boyfriend. I tell the guys I’ll be back and jump up to answer it, running into the kitchen.

“Hey baby!” I answer.

“Hi babe.” He sounds weird, but I’m just happy to hear his voice.

“What are you doing?”

“Just getting ready for work. What are you doing?”

“I’m having some drinks with Taz and Iñaki. At a pool on the beach! Babe, this place is unreal!”

He laughs a little, “good, I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

“I really am. I miss you though.”

“I miss you too. Well, I just wanted to hear your voice but I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tonight?”

“Okay! Just remember we’re about 9 hours ahead so if you call at 5, it’s 2 am here.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, I’ll try to call around lunchtime then.”

“You can call me whenever. And I will try to always answer.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too babe.”

He hangs up and I rejoin the guys outside. They grill me about my boyfriend and I tell them all about him. We talk for a while, which turns to hours, slowly rotating from the chairs, to the pool, to the hot tub and then over again. I hear a text and get out to check it. My boyfriend sent me a t****k. I open it and see it’s a Robin/Harmony edit. I reply omg how cool! He doesn’t respond until a bit later with another video and his text says “I don’t know how to feel about this.” I furrow my brows as I open it, the boys catching my concern and leaning in to watch the video. It’s an edit with a very *sexy* song in the background with some photos Taz and I posted online from our trip as well as some photos from the paparazzi in Zurich. One photo zooms in to Taz’s hand on my waist. The caption reads “Sanji x Robin | I’ve never shipped two characters more til now.”

Taz scoffs, an annoyed look on his face, “that’s so not fair, I was just looking out for you. It wasn’t what they’re making it look like.”

“I know that,” I reply to my boyfriend how weird!! Some people are creeps babe, it’s okay. “And he knows that too. It’s okay though.” I smile sweetly and set my phone down on the table.

He nods and we continue talking until the sun begins to set. Once I finish watching my first Cape Town sunset, we head inside to play some games and drink.

I excuse myself to the restroom but as I return, I catch an interesting conversation. I hear Iñaki say, “okay, well what do you think she feels for you?”

Taz laughs softly, “I don’t know. Totally honest? I think she likes me.”

“You should take a shot! You’re not happy in your relationship. And you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be perfect for each other.”

“No. You’re completely right, we’d be excellent together.” Taz sighs, “but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. She seems happy in her relationship, and I would hate myself if I got in the way of that.” My breath catches in my throat and I step back a bit. I’m still able to hear them, but it’s more faint.

“So what are you going to do? You can’t just put your feelings in a box and throw them away.” Iñaki says.

“No. And I won’t do that. Even if I don’t plan to act on them at all, I’m perfectly allowed to have an innocent crush.” I can hear the smile on Taz’s mouth, “but for now, I’m gonna be her best friend. I’ll be there for her for everything, as a friend, whatever she needs.”

I smile and lean against the wall gently. Iñaki says, “what if I want to be her best friend!”

“Too late, mate. I met her first and I call dibs!”

Enter me. I casually walk through the door and up to the bar, jumping into a stool and spinning playfully in it. “Dibs on what?” I say smiling.

Taz grins as he watches me stop spinning, “picking the next game! And I’m thinking shuffleboard.”

I nod and grin back, “alright, but prepare to be crushed.” The boys laugh and we keep playing games. My boyfriend calls around midnight, and says he worked through his lunch to get off work early. I excuse myself and leave to speak to him for a bit. We talk for about 10 minutes before we say good night. When we hang up, I stare at my phone for a minute. I can tell my boyfriend is struggling with the time difference, and with me being gone. I feel terrible thinking about whether or not it’s cruel to stay with him- we had conversations in the past about how it’s incredibly hard to do long distance and he had said he didn’t think he could do it. Now, I could hear him trying to sound happy, but I could hear sadness in his voice. As I turn my phone in my hand, Taz walks up quietly.

“Everything okay?” He says softly, his hands in his pockets and leaning against the doorframe.

I nod and speak softly, “yeah.”

He raises an eyebrow and comes up to me, placing his hands on the counter, “are you sure? You can talk to me.”

I look at his big hands on the counter and my gaze follows up his arms and shoulders, meeting his eyes. I clear my throat, “it’s just…I’m worried that things won’t work between my boyfriend and I. We’d always talked about how impossible long distance is and he,” I set my phone down on the counter, “he’s being lovely, honestly, but I know that he’s pretending. He’s not happy but he’s trying to sound like he’s fine.”

He watches me while I talk and tilts his head to the side when I stop, “well. I think it’s okay to have doubts. Or maybe a better term would be reservations.” He pauses as we lock eyes, “just be patient. Whatever’s meant to happen will happen. If he wants to pretend to be happy for you, let him work through that. If he ends up telling you he’s unhappy, you can talk about it, but until then, just give him time. He’d be crazy not to want to make it work.”

I nod and smile, looking down, “yeah, you’re right. But you know, it’s not just him.” I look back up and see him looking at me curiously. “I love him, but physical love is important to me. Being able to hold your partner, feel their skin on yours, their warmth…that means so much to me. With that off the table, I feel like a huge chunk of a relationship is missing or gone.”

“You should tell him how you feel then.” He stares into my eyes, watching for my response.

“I will. But I want to give it a chance. It’s so new, we deserve some time to acclimate and we owe it to our relationship to give it a fair shot.”

“That’s incredibly smart of you.”

“Thanks.” I laugh softly. “So, where’s Iñaki?”

“He went to bed. It is almost 1 am, after all.”

“Smart kid.” I tap the counter and pick up my phone. “We should follow his lead. I’m honestly exhausted.”

“Yeah, me too.” He turns and walks with me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Once we get to our rooms he pauses and puts his arms awkwardly behind his back. “Well, goodnight.”

I smile and pull him in for a tight hug. His arms wrap around me and hold me tightly for a long moment. “Goodnight, Taz. Thanks for being here for me. I think I’d be a little lost without you.”

He nuzzles my hair and smiles, “anytime. And same to you. I’m glad you’re here.”

I lay my head on his chest, “me too. Okay.” I slowly peel myself off him and back into my room, “goodnight.”

He smiles and walks into his own room, looking back at me, “sweet dreams.” Then he shuts his door. I do the same, changing into some comfortable pajamas and climbing into the huge cushy bed. I sink in and sigh. My eyes close and I drift off to sleep.

_________________________________________

The next few days fly by in a blur. Long days traveling from home to the sets, starting with a full day of touring and the next couple days I spent mostly hanging out with the actor selected to play Crocodile. I was blown away that they selected Jeffery Dean Morgan to play the infamous Mr. 0. He was really nice when I first met him, even though I fangirled a bit. We did a few chemistry reads between the two of us and it actually was surprisingly great. The worst part about the passing days was that I didn’t get to spend much time even seeing Taz. And worse yet, phone calls from my boyfriend got more sparse. Either he was busy or sleeping or I was. Our phone calls also got a bit more awkward and distant. Before I knew it, I’d been in Africa for two weeks and we were deep into filming, which helped to keep my mind off of everything.

Current day

I’m in hair and makeup early in the morning before a day of filming and my boyfriend calls. “Hey baby!”

“Hey.” His voice sounds a bit rough but it is right around the time he’d be going to bed.

“Whatcha doin?”

“Just laying here. What about you?”

“I’m in hair and makeup! I’m finally in a bigger scene today!”

“That’s exciting, I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you!”

“Yeah. Well, why don’t you call me later. I’ll be waking up around 2 pm your time, so you can call me after that, or I’ll be awake for a bit.”

“Hey, we just started talking! Don’t go yet.” I pause, leaving awkward dead air between us, “What’s going on? For days now we’ve only spoken for like 5 minutes a day, if that. I’m worried.”

He scoffs and I hear him exhale, “Nothing. Just…sometimes I wish you never sent that stupid email.”

I stay silent for a moment. He’s allowed to feel angry about me suddenly being gone and I knew this was coming, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. “But I did, and it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

“I know. And I am proud of you and happy for you, honest. It’s just hard to be on this end. At this point, I feel like I’m just living in your house that you pay for, like, house sitting or some shit.”

“Oh, seriously, that’s ridiculous.”

“It’s just how I feel. Look, I said we should talk about this later. I know you have a long day ahead of you and I’m exhausted from my day. So let’s just talk later.”

“You really wanna drop this conversation now?” My heart pounds in my chest. We had always agreed to talk our disagreements or arguments though, and unless we absolutely need to step back before we saying something regrettable to always keep talking.

“Yeah. I do.”

More silence. I nod my head and bite my lip. “Okay. Whatever you need.”

He kind of laughs softly, but it’s empty and sounds angry. “Okay. Just text me later when you’ll be available.”

“Okay.” At this point I’m struggling to keep tears back.

“Okay…uhm. Bye?” He struggles with the words. The final blow, sending a single hot tear rolling down my cheek, is him not saying ‘I love you’.

“I love-” he hangs up before I get it out. I look at my phone and quietly whisper, “you.”

I toss my phone onto the vanity in front of me. Putting my face in my hands and trying to will myself not to cry. Just then, Jeffery comes in with the hair and makeup team. I discreetly wipe my eyes and then look up and smile at them. As the ladies busy themselves and get set up, Jeffery leans over and nudges me softly, “Hey, you okay?”

I laugh and smile faintly at him, “yeah. Boy trouble.”

He laughs and pats my leg, “boys certainly are trouble. You wanna talk about it?”

I shake my head, “no. Thank you though. I really, really appreciate it.” He smiles as the hair and makeup crew work on us. When they finish, we set out to costumes to get dressed. After that we have an action-packed day of filming, which successfully keeps my mind busy. At the end of the day, I finally get the chance, for the first time in nearly two weeks, to go home with Taz and Iñaki. On the drive back, I text my boyfriend On my way to the house. Be there in about 20 minutes if you want to call me. A few minutes later, my phone chimes. He replies, Okay. The boys laugh and talk and play music and I try to engage, although my mind is not with them.

We get back to the house and Taz starts dinner. As we’re hanging out, my phone rings. The boys look over and watch me slide off my chair and walk away to answer. “Hello.”

“Hey.” His voice is cold, almost formal.

“Just waking up?”

“No, I’ve been up for a bit.”

“Right, okay.” I pause, not wanting to initiate the conversation I know is inevitable.

After a few excruciating moments of silence, he clears his throat, “do you think this is gonna work out?”

“What exactly do you mean?” I know, but I need him to not beat around the bush and just say it.

“Us.”

“Mmm. I don’t know, honestly. I think it’s hard. For me, I believe we deserve a chance. But I can see pretty clearly we’re not on the same page and I know that it’s extremely difficult.”

He stays silent for a minute. I sit on the stairs and cover my mouth, trying to focus on my breathing. “Yeah. I think we’re living two different, separate lives right now. I don’t see it working.”

I let out the quietest sob as tears well up in my eyes, “Okay. So what do you want to do?”

“Go back in time and make this not happen.” He pauses, “but since that’s not possible, I think we need to call it a day. Or a break for now.”

“Okay.” I barely manage to choke the word out.

“Do you…want me to move out?”

“No. You can stay there. We’ll cross that bridge when I have to come home.”

“Okay. I’m really sorry.”

I laugh, angrily. “Yeah. Me too.”

A long, hard silence. Finally he says, “okay, well. I guess, goodbye for now? And, call me if you need anything.”

“Yeah. Bye for now.”

I hang up before he can say anymore. I curl my knees into me, tucking my face against them. I let myself cry for a few minutes and then quickly go to the bathroom to try to clean my face up. After a couple minutes, once I feel like I’ve calmed myself down enough, I head back out. I set my phone on the counter and slide it away, then smile at Taz and Iñaki.

“How’s the boyfriend?” Iñaki says smiling at me. I think for a moment about what to say. In my silence, Taz turns around. The second his eyes connect with mine, I feel the tears well up again.

“Hey, hey! What happened?” Taz rushes over and wraps me in a tight hug. Feeling his arms around me and his warmth sends me over the edge. I put my head on his shoulder and start crying. He rubs my back and Iñaki rushes over and rubs my arm.

After a minute, I finally manage to squeak out, “We’re done. He and I.”

Taz looks down at me and Iñaki comforts me from the side. “What happened?” His voice is soft, calm, and reassuring.

I catch my breath and wipe my face, “he’s been really distant for a few days now, but he just told me he didn’t think it was gonna work.” I pause and let out a soft sob, “he said we need to call it a day or take a break for now.”

Iñaki hands me a tissue and I smile weakly, dabbing my eyes with it. He scowls, “well, he’s stupid! Do you want me to go beat him up?”

“Iñaki.” Taz looks over at him and shakes his head, “Harmony, what can we do for you? Anything?”

I shake my head, “no. Thank you though.” Taz sits me down and lights a cigarette for me. He finishes dinner and serves us a lovely meal. Afterwards he takes me upstairs and sits me down on my bed, then goes into my bathroom and runs me a bubble bath. He leads me over, setting a few things on the counter where I can reach them.

“Just relax and unwind. If you need me, call me. Okay?” His eyes gaze softly into mine and I nod my head. He leaves and I undress and slip into the bath. After soaking and crying a while, I get out and go sit on my balcony, watching the waves. I fall asleep but wake for just a moment, feeling Taz pick me up and carry me to bed.