LYSSARA
I did not know how to just receive it.
That was the thing I had not anticipated. Eleven months of doing everything alone had built a specific muscle and the muscle did not know how to stand down. I lay still in the quiet of the first morning and the pack house was completely silent and what I felt was not happiness exactly. It was the specific alertness of a woman waiting for the conditions to arrive.
They did not arrive.
No wall being built behind the giving. No thing he wanted from me that explained the warmth. No architecture behind the generosity. I had been waiting for the explanation since the morning I arrived at Ashfen's boundary with mud on my boots and nowhere else to go and it had never come and it was not coming now and I did not know what to do with something that
