Release Me (On Hold)

Chapter 9

Not sure if I like this chapter but hopefully it's okay? I don't know this pregnancy has my thoughts all over the place. I just don't want to give up on it. 

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Why? WHY IS HE THERE? If I could scream out the words of hate I would. I wanted to hurt him. Isaiah was smart though he made sure I was nowhere near him so I couldn’t start throwing punches.

“Look, Jaclyn let me explain! He’s there for his safety!”

What is wrong with him?

“He had his first shift, he hasn’t been able to shift back and keeps attacking people so he needed to stay away from others.”

I blinked in surprise because he was young, he still had maybe 10 years before he should be able to shift. It was hard enough to shift as a teen now my baby was a shifter werewolf? How could he possibly have shifted or lived because not all of us who shift live after the first shift. It’s hard on the body and the mind.

I felt the tears that I had been trying to hold back roll down my face. This was all my fault I had left him, I left him behind for a man I didn’t care about. A man who didn’t want Rapheal. I was a horrible mother. I shouldn’t have left him no matter if he was safe with Isaiah.

I want to see him.

“I don’t know Jaclyn, that probably wouldn’t be the best.” Isaiah tells me.

Isaiah my baby needs me, plus this could possibly be the last time before Killian comes for me. You know he isn’t going to let me come back. He doesn’t even know I’m here now.

“Fine, but you better not make this worse for him.” Isaiah tells me. “I’ll have Jasper call your mate, let him know you're safe.”

As we walked down to the prison cells, I told Isaiah the whole reason I was here was because of my nightmare, and the strange man from it. Isaiah was silent for a long time, not knowing what to say about the dream.

“I’ll look into it but the guy couldn’t be from the High Court, our parents didn’t break the rules, my father was a witch, after he passed our mother didn’t think she’d get picked as a werewolves mate. Then it wasn’t a law. No one knew what would happen if werewolves and witches mixed.”

Which doesn’t explain why they were murdered.

“It wasn’t a law but doesn’t mean people didn’t like it, I mean look at us, we are in hiding. If anyone knew we’d be sentenced to death.”

Not you, you're fully a witch.

“I know, but I’m keeping you in hiding which is punishable by death, plus I run a werewolf pact. I don’t think they’ll just let me walk away.”

You should have just gone back to the witches.

“And leave you by yourself? The rumors that were already flying around. And then me disappearing wouldn’t have gone well.”

You could have been safe.

“We are only in trouble for the actions of others. It wasn’t our fault it became illegal for us to mix because others couldn’t control themselves with the extra power.”

Two guards stood outside the door, I knew there was more watching in case someone broke out, I knew there were more guards inside, but with Rogues they were really crazy strong. I never came down here and I normally left this stuff to Isaiah.

At the end of the walkway a tiny little gray wolf paced the cell, he whined a little not really looking up as we walked over to him. Tears fell down my face, never had I thought he’d shift so young or would have done it without me being here to help him.

At this moment I wish I had a voice, so I could call out to him. To let him know I was here. I ran to the bars but Isaiah grabbed me before I could touch them.

“It’s silver, Jaclyn. We had to keep him from breaking out; we didn’t want to lose him.”

I nodded, Raphael looked up at my name, and he stared at me giving me a howl of heartbreak. That just made me cry harder, I never understood the bound other mothers had with their kids, but Raphael and I had a special one. A deeper one because I saved his life.

I remember his mother, giving me her screaming baby, yelling at me to keep him. The blood from the head wound bleeding so badly I wondered how she was still alive at the moment. Her brain falling to the ground. She told me his name, and that he was 1 but that was all she could tell me, as she had dropped dead soon after her son left her arms.

I later learned more about Raphael, he’s mother had lost her mate a few months before the attack so she was widowed. She had no other family so no one to look after Raphael after she died. She had spent the whole war trying to find someone who would take her baby in case she was killed. When she was hurt, and knew she would die. When she saw me she thought I would be perfect, I guess because I was the last person who didn’t run in fear when I saw her.

Raphael knew I wasn’t his real mother, I always made that clear in case he wanted to know his past. I told him his mother had given me him because she trusted me to give him the life she wanted for him. When I looked at him so young and in a wolf form I felt as if I failed his mother because if she had lived would he be like he is now?

Isaiah had been talking to him, commanding him to shift back. Which I don’t think Raphael knew how. I don’t think he knows how, too Isaiah.

“We’ll let you out if you go back to being a human.”

He probably doesn’t know how!

“Very well.” Isaiah snaps at me, I don’t know what he’s problem is because this was my baby. “Jasper, will you teach him to shift back into a human?”

“Yes,” Jasper tells us.

He starts to undress and I turn to not watch as he does, I watch Raphael. It was weird watching someone shift, the hair falls off, leaving a naked wolf, but you can see the human in the shape of the wolf. Then in a blink of an eye he was a tiny human being, a naked one.

“Mommy?” Raphael’s little voice called.