Am I A Killer or Warrior

The start

Tonight was one of the roughest training sessions yet. Not that the physical got worse no, but the mental of it all got to me tonight. I'm supposed to be the leader of this training village. Yet I can't even get my head around what's really going on.

"Mike!" I hear being yelled from across the village. It was Alex my second in comand. "Though to be honest with his skill an knowledge he should have been that Sargent. But his maturity an fact that he doesn't even want it lead me to here. Well that an the darkness that I have overcame" I think to myself yet shake it off. I must focus.

"Me an some of the other guys going to the fire circle to have some drinks an relax, why not join?" He asks but be doesn't have much hope when doing so. He as well as I know I never go to the fire circle. Which all it really consists of is a bar set up under an makeshift roof an walls, an a big fire pit dug 3 feet deep with brick. It was all handmade to help those relax while we train an fight a war that shouldn't even have been started.

"You know I never go to the fire circle, I just want to go to my cabin an relax." I say but with hesitation as I really feel I could use a drink after today.

"But the new arrivals are there, an they are already feeling overwhelmed an out of place maybe the Sargent being there would help them feel welcomed?"

Oh yeah the new arrivals, they came from the village 300 miles south of us they got attacked, few survived many lost family an friends. What's left came here to shelter an try to make sense of this all. But there is no sense in this war.

"Okay I'll go but only for one drink!" The moment I said that I regretted it with that smile on Alex's face. "What have I gotten myself into?!"

Finding myself at the fire circle I order myself a drink an make conversion with those around. So many look scared, an so many more look like they just stopped crying. "How can all this pain an war be worth anything. Everyone will be broken by end of this? Like he even cares!!!" I start to get mad my face flaming read just as the thought of all this hits me. But then

"HI I'm Sara, I was told your the leader of this village. I wanted to say thank you for letting all of us here to stay. We lost so much an your kindness is much appreciated." She said this with a look of pure beauty, her brown hair an hazel eyes has me for a moment Frozen. Though somethings there a stare of darkness. One I know well, one that got me where I am.