A week went by. Doug went on three more dates with Simon. Doug told us to stop calling him Professor. After all, he added, we didn’t live on Gilligan’s Island. Todd and I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Who’s Gilligan?” I asked.
“And why does he rate an entire island?” asked Todd. “That some sort of reality program? Was he set adrift and forced to live there and fend for himself?”
“Naked,” I added.
“Why would he be naked on an island?” Doug asked.
I shrugged. “It’s what they do on reality TV these days.”
Doug seemed to hold in his usual rage. I chalked it up to finally getting laid. “Please, just call him Simon.”
He didn’t look like a Simon; he looked like a Professor. Still, we acquiesced.
And so, I regularly asked Doug, over the next week, “Did Simon tell you about the la
