My Secret Admirer

Chapter 1

I could feel the heat of the sun on me as I finally walked to the top of the hill where the hiking path ended. I had climbed this path many times before. There was something about it today that made it feel different. Maybe because it had been a while since I had been out here. I used to go at least once a week, but now it was harder to do since I started my waitressing job. Which sucked since it was the summer, one of the best and the worst time for hiking. Right now, was the best time because it was the start of June and it hadn’t gotten too hot yet.

I look down at the world around me, smiling at it. It was so beautiful. So peaceful compared to the busy world of the diner. I hadn’t expected to need a summer job. My parents had most of it covered, but I wanted some finical freedom. I need some job experience besides work study to help me land a good career after college. If I didn’t decide to go back and get my master's. I still hadn’t decided what I wanted to do yet. I knew I wanted to do something in publishing. Maybe Editing, maybe promoting, maybe writing. I don’t know yet. I am not confident enough in my writing yet to publish. I was even scared to put it on w*****d. What would people think? What if they hate it? What if I get horrible comments? What if no one reads it at all? I had so many fears. Plus, my writing was missing something. I didn’t know what it was missing I knew it was something which was why I never posted it or tried to publish it. Maybe I was better off being on the other side of publishing.

I am pulled from my thoughts by a bunny scurrying past me. I smiled as I watched it hop towards the tree. It was so cute. I patted my pockets to figure out which one my phone was in to take a picture of, but I couldn’t find my phone. Oh no. It must have fallen out of the pockets. I knew these leggings were a bad idea. All that was good about them was they made my butt look good. Other than that they had no value. I knew the pockets seemed to be loose and I should have brought my mini backpack on the trail. I didn’t want to carry it though. I already had my water bottle.

I sighed as I started to walk back looking at the ground as I did. I was hoping to find my phone. Not very many people walked this trail anymore, especially on a Sunday morning. Most people in our town were in church. I had never been a very religious person. I believed in God, but I didn’t see myself as a devoted Christian. Most of the time, I went when my family went. I had stopped though when I started waitressing on Sunday. This was my first Sunday off in a long time, and I didn’t want to spend it in church. I wanted to be free. I wanted to do something I hadn’t had the chance to do in ages. Now, I kind of needed God here to lend a hand so I could find my phone. It was going to be almost impossible to find on my own. There was no telling how far back it fell out.

I was about to give up and go find my parents, brothers, or someone to help me find it. Maybe they could call it or use that find my phone app to get it. I couldn’t believe I had actually lost it just like that. How could I be so stupid? My dad would never let me live it down if I couldn’t find it and he would have to help me buy a new one. I might be able to get my own with my money from the restaurant. It isn’t the end of the world. I try to tell myself. It was going to be okay. I had to remind myself because I didn’t want to trigger a panic attack. I didn’t need to have one of those on top of everything. It was bad enough when I had them at work. I didn’t need one right now. Not when I was in the middle of a hiking trail with no one around.

I had been having panic attacks for years now. They started in high school when I was taking a test. I didn’t know any of the answers to this test. It caused my whole world to feel like it was going to explode. I had never felt anything like this before. Like someone was stomping on my lungs. My heart was racing as I had just run a marathon. I couldn’t control any of it. Now, I could control it a little bit better than when it first came around. I worked with my therapist to learn mindfulness. It helps me in times like these when I feel like my whole world is falling apart. It’s silly to think that over the phone, but my whole life is on that phone. If it fell in the wrong hands. I didn’t know what to think.

“Ma’am,” called a voice as it took me out of my thoughts. I turned to see a man walking up to me with my phone in his hand. I could tell it was mine by the pink sparkly case. I didn’t think many people would have that case. “I think you dropped this,” he said with a small smile.

I smiled back as I took it. “Thanks, I thought I had lost it.” I looked at the guy who handed me the phone. He wasn’t someone I had seen here before. I didn’t think at least. I would remember him. He had shoulder-length brown hair with these gorgeous blue eyes. I couldn’t stop looking into his eyes. When I looked away from the rest of him, I saw that he was muscular. I could tell by how tight his t-shirt was against his biceps. He had some calves too. He didn’t skip leg day that was for sure. I didn’t stare for too long. It was hard not to though.

“Sorry, I am Sadie,” I said as I reached out my hand for him to shake. “Thank you so much.”

“Zayne,” he said shaking my hand. “It was nothing. I found it when I was doing my walk. You are the only girl I saw up here, so I figured it had to be yours.”

“Yeah, the pink case gives me away,” I let out a soft giggle. “I am sorry, I don’t think I have ever seen you out here before. Granted, I haven’t in a couple of weeks.”

He nodded, “That’s probably why. I just moved out here a couple of weeks ago. I also hike more at night after my shift, but I had the day off and thought I would take a nice hike. Good thing I did.”

“Yeah, good thing,” I said pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s my day off too, what a coincidence. Where do you work?” I asked. I was trying to make small talk. I wasn’t exactly sure why. I had gotten my phone back. Said thank you, but I wasn’t sure I wanted this to end.

“I am a correctional officer at the prison, not too far from here. Not a fun job always, but it pays the bills,” he said running his hand through his hair. “What do you do?”

“I am just a waitress,” I tell him. “It isn’t a fun job always either. Customers can get a little rude.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, so can inmates. What restaurant do you work at?”

“Cozy Corner. It’s that diner on the main street. It’s just a summer job to make some money before I go back to school.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You are in school. Thats impressive. I always wished I went to college. What are you going to school for?”

“There is always still time. I heard it was never too late.” I was trying to be encouraging. I hoped that wasn’t annoying. “English. Literature to be exact. I want to work in publishing after school. There is a small publishing company here I am hoping to intern for either this coming year or next summer. I couldn’t get in this summer.” I hadn’t gotten picked this summer. It sucked, but I was sure I could try again.

“I think it’s too late for me. Besides, I don’t feel like adding to my heavy work schedule,” he said with a slight chuckle. “Once, I get home, I like to sit and just drink a beer. I don’t want to think about homework.”

“Fair enough,” I said with a shrug. “I can’t blame you there. It's a lot of work. A job would be hard. It was just something to think about.”

He nodded. There was a pause between us. I pulled my lip into my mouth feeling the awkwardness in the air. “Well, I should get going,” I said as pointed to my car.

“Let me walk you,” he said as he walked towards me.

I nodded as I smiled taking his hand as we walked together back to my car, talking the whole way.