Shades of Wolves

Chapter 4: What is the most painful death?

November, 11th, 2100

I never thought there would be this reunion. The Earth is definitely round. I still vividly remember the feeling of being defeated that year, when the judges announced the winner.

If the one-on-one match happened again this year, I wouldn’t be defeated easily ever again. I'll let my opponent fall to the hell where I've suffered.

Felix

Hoa put KiKi on the table. She turned her head so that she would not witness this heartbreaking scene. Malvis still had the standard smile on his lips. Her eyes were drawn close to Kiki's.

Hoa could feel that dog's body turned stiff immediately. There was some kind of groans coming out of his mouth. Malvis was doing her job, which was erasing the data about Hoa from his brain.

Hoa had seen dozens of people wandering aimlessly the streets. They had lost their memories, but not their human intelligence. So why on Earth did they commit suicide? They could always start over. She thought. Even if Kiki didn't remember her, she would make him fall in love with her again at first sight for sure.

Kiki's sobbing was growing louder, surely Malvis was going to the deepest part of his subconscious.

About 10 minutes later, Malvis stood up before looking over at Hoa.

“It's over. His memories have been stripped from him! Now, it’s the time for you to observe and decide whether to participate or not.”

Hoa's arms were trembling, hugging Kiki. She hoped what happened next would be a little brighter.

Malvis led her out to the back door while another Malvis entering to continue working with the new candidate. There was a way that went directly to the big door. Following after it was a huge boulevard with tons of people passing by.

Malvis led Kiki ahead, Hoa followed right after. She didn't bother to look back to talk to Hoa, but her words made Hoa's heart ache.

“Once the memory domain is erased. There’s no way for him to remember again. He won't remember anything about you anymore, especially your name and your face. Anything about you that he’ll learn can stay for a few seconds, but then quickly goes away again”

Malvis continued to explain to Hoa

“That's how WIC works. There are many people who sell their experiences or memories. In order to control and avoid the repetition of memories. WIC will install and put a setting, in which that person can no longer remember who they are. Their names and the memories of 10 people who they have most contact with be deleted.”

Hoa stood still. She couldn’t make a move. Was that why people who lose their memories would commit suicide? Because no one could help them remember what they were like, who they truly were.

She remembered watching a classic cartoon 100 years ago, Spirited Away. When Chihiro called out Haku's name, he would remember who he was. Just by calling him by his first name like, she restored his memories. But now, no matter how many times or how loud she called Kiki's name, he would still leave her, still not remember anything about her, not at all. Was it how this whole thing worked?

“Let’s see. Try with him first” Malvis moved her eyes towards the poor dalmatian. She let go of the rope, but Kiki was no longer mischievous and hyperactive. His black eyes darted around bewilderedly. He groaned as if he was feeling like losing something precious that he could not bring himself to remember.

“Kiki. Come here”

Hoa knelt one of her knees down. She waved her hand in his direction, trying to catch his attention. But Kiki seemed to have no memory of his name. He looked at Hoa and barked a few times as if he’s in the defensive state towards a complete stranger.

“Here is the medicine for him! Let him take some so that the stress can be reduced.”

Malvis placed a yellow pill in Hoa’s palm. Without letting anyone finishing the instructions, Kiki turned around and ran away from where they were standing. He rushed out into the street with no control. Malvis and Hoa quickly ran after to chase him. KiKi greeted everyone with fear and confusion. He looked like a boy who no longer believed in the world.

“Quickly give it to him!” Malvis pushed.

“Immediately now?”

Malvis quickly leaned over to grab Kiki. She kept his mouth opened with her hands.

“You have to make him take it it now. Or else something bad might happen! 90% of his memories are you. Losing his memories so suddenly like this is be a huge shock to him. "

Only then Hoa realized something. They asked for a three-month relationship with the pet because three months wouldn’t be enough for an animal to be panic, in case they lost those memories. If it's too deep, the images of the owner and the pet would be split in half. In this specific case, Hoa and KiKi’s memories. And there's no way to fill in that hole. The panic would certainly happen. It was extremely difficult for a human to approach a new life without memories. Not to mention that it was a dog with years of memories had been robbed from.

Hoa put the pill in his mouth, but KiKi struggled to fight back. He bit Malvis's hand. She let out an “ouch” right before let him go by reaction. Kiki had the opportunity to escape, so rushed like a flash to the main road.

“No, Kiki! No!”

Hoa reached out her hand to stop him. But it was too late. A car ran over him right in front of her eyes. A couple drops of his blood shot splashed on Hoa's face. The blood was haunting warm and freshly fishy as hell. KiKi was laying there. His black eyes were staring at her. His whole body trembled. Blood was gushed out of its mouth non-stop, sip by sip, until he gradually passed out.

Hoa felt like the strength was leaving her. She couldn’t walk anymore on those shivering legs. She crawled slowly in his direction. She came and hugged Kiki covered in blood. It’s her who had underestimated this whole thing and how terrible it could be. She had sacrificed her beloved little brother. Hoa's cry grew louder on a gloomy day. People were still on the street, passing by without any help, any offer, any ask. The traffic was still normal as usual, crowded and noisy. Cars were still passing back and forth. Hoa held Kiki’s body in her arms, slowly walking through the wave of people. Each step was just heavy and full of tears.

……………….

At the top of the apartment floor.

When Mahoney arrived, Hoa was already sitting at the same place. The white T-shirt was soaked with blood, the nauseous red really hurt the eyes. Mahoney turned around to look for Kiki, but she couldn't find his body anywhere. There were only ashes with a little black smoke be seen on the nearby floor. Hoa must have had cremated his body then.

Mahoney gently sat next to the little girl whose eyes were stick to the street below.

"Are you still doing okay?" Mahoney opened a beer can which was placed next to her best friend's hand.

"Is Dodo dead?" Hoa turned to look at Mahoney.

“No, he flew away. When you gave him to me, he was already grown. Even if he doesn’t have any memories of me, he is still able to adapt to a new life." Mahoney looked up at the sky, she hoped Dodo would live well.

“You still want to join this? We have a day left to decide to send the official registration form to WIC or not,” asked Mahoney.

Hoa held a can of beer just to drop it on the street. A passing car ran over it. If she failed, that beer can would also be the end of hers.

“Mahoney, can we not join? One day we might be able to get out of this situation. But if we join it, there’s a huge chance that we will lose.” Hoa did not look at Mahoney while talking. Her voice was a little weak as she had lost all of her confidence.

“Too late for me”, Mahoney stood up. The wind blew through her hair. It was all in the wind, looking free as well. But if you knew her well enough, you’d know that Mahoney's life is like a chain.

“Did you send your confirmation already?”

“Yeah”

There was a long silence between the two of them. They stared at the billboard in front of them. One hundred million dollars. They hadn’t even been in the game. Yet they had had to sacrifice a lot already.

“Let’s say that we are lucky to go to the final round, if we happened to be the other’s opponent, would you kill me?” Hoa asked with watery eyes.

Mahoney replied very quickly, like she had thought about this situation a hundred times already.

“Yes, I will kill you no matter what!”

"Why?"

“Those who go that far in the game can’t ever be themselves ever again.”

“How do you know?”

Mahoney leaned over to Hoa. She ran a hand through her friend's tangled hair to tuck it over her ear. She then smiled.

“Stacy told me.”

“Stacy?”

“On the show Only One Life, every Saturday night. It’s her show. And I haven’t missed any episodes."

Hoa laughed. Mahoney also cracked out a laugh. They sat there for God knew how long until the sun went down. As soon as Mahoney left, Hoa swiped her smart watch up. She hit that send button from her infrared screen.

“Thank you for your choice. We will notify you as soon as possible about whether you have been selected for the 100-player elimination round. Thank you!”

………………………….

9 pm that night.

Hoa sat at the desk. She quickly scanned her computer screen to learn about previous champions. Every WIC fight had been really different. It was difficult to predict what challenge they would use next.

Ting, ting…

The message tone was to notify that there’s a new mail that had just arrived. Hoa did not have a bright shining smiling face like before. Her body was exhausted. Her finger made its clock on the content of the letter.

She finally won the interview round. Mahoney received the email earlier than she did. Hoa looked over Kiki's food cup. Really, at some conner of her mind, the thought of killing him with a knife was probably better than the situation she was in now.