The Broken

Chapter 9 MEET-UP

Taking out one by one from the black cabinet all the tiny liquor bottles and placing it in a trash bag left me sighing constantly. I had to dispose of them to avoid getting tempted in secretly bringing them to school again. I couldn’t also drink them all as I intended to go to work early tomorrow.

Talking with Dean Choi was a wake-up call to me. I didn’t want to lose the only thing that provided some sort of purpose in my life and probably the only reason that’s keeping me alive--teaching. Also, I didn’t want this drinking habit to turn into what Dean Choi had coined ‘a self-destructive vice’. My body involuntarily shivered as I pictured myself drowning in liquor and painfully suffocating in every gulp until that burning water choke me up to death. No, I would not allow that to happen.

After filling up the bag, I left it outside as today was the schedule for collecting the trash. I couldn’t deny I wasn’t completely feeling good because I hated wasting, but it was wise not to leave anything that would tempt me in any way.

When I sat down on the sofa, I opened the champagne bottle with a popping sound that was all too familiar to my ears yet never failed to create this exciting feeling that invigorated my sullen mood. As I poured it into my wine glass, that frizzing sound like the stirring of the leaves caused a delicious shiver to roll through my body. And when I finally got a taste of it, an unexpected moan drew out from my lips. This was pure bliss.

My phone suddenly rang and I knew it was Luther. He was the only one who’s making my phone busy these couple of days.

“Do you have anything to do but pester me with your constant calls?” I asked him in an irritated voice. It might be unfair to take out my frustration on him, but he would not just leave me alone.

“Just want to ask if you already feel better now that you’ve read their apology letter.” His voice was seemingly unfazed by my irritation.

My brows furrowed. “What apology letter?”

“You haven’t read it?” Now, he sounded disappointed

“I’m not in the mood to read,” I stated while I shake lightly my wine glass. My eyes widened as I watched the sparkling bubbles that appeared like a chain of pearls moving upward and forming a thin foam on the surface. How can be something so aesthetically breathtaking turned into a lethal poison?

“Faith, are you listening?”

His loud voice brought me out of my sweet reverie. “Yeah, what are you saying?”

“What’s wrong with you?” His voice was loaded with exasperation and anger. “I’ve just made God knows how many calls just to fix what you wanted me to. And here you are, acting like you don’t give a sh*t anymore.”

Okay, we’re about to have another row. I wondered why we always argued whenever we talked. “Why don’t you walk me through that apology letter and spare me from wasting my time reading it?” I suggested.

Luther heaved a sigh. “The site to which that article was published apologized for releasing malicious content that according to them wasn’t grounded on valid information. I think it was something like that.”

I hummed to reassure him I was listening and in some way, motivated him to continue. “They also apologized to you without mentioning your name, of course. For causing distress and harming your reputation which they claimed wasn’t intentional,” he paused as though remembering if he missed an important detail. “I think that pretty sums up that letter.”

“That’s…good to hear,” I lied, thinking their apology might not have changed people’s opinion or worst, made us look more guilty than ever. But, I didn’t care as I hang unto Dean Choi’s words.

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

I tilted my head as I searched for the right words to say at this moment. “Good job.” It was all I could come up with.

“I’m not your student, Faith.”

Why did this man have to be so demanding? If it’s Howard, he would…No, stop thinking of Howard and focus on Luther. “Thank you,” I sincerely said. “And I apologize if I said things I shouldn’t have.”

“That would do,” he sounded satisfied. “By the way, I’m off to airport now. Let’s meet tomorrow evening.”

“Okay,” I lazily agreed as my eyes were once again lost on the sparkled wine.

“Faith.” Luther’s thundering voice snapped me out of my beautiful trance.

He was still on the line. “Yeah?“ But he remained quiet. “Luther, I’m not good at guessing. Either you spill it out or I’ll end this call.”

Luther groaned. “Wish me a safe journey.”

“Oh, okay. Have a safe flight, Luther.” Then, I hang up.

Before slumbering into a deep sleep on the sofa, I emptied the entire bottle of champagne. I wasn’t anymore staying the night in my bedroom because I was constantly having nightmares there. For whatever reason, the sofa in my living room might be uncomfortable but it became a safe haven for me; no nightmare could penetrate its protective shield.

I woke up feeling a bit energized and somewhat optimistic. As promised, I went early to school and when I entered our department’s office, I saw Sophie chatting with that rumormonger Professor Gwan. It’s only six in the morning and they’re already gossiping.

Sophie instantly glanced away when our eyes met. They also lowered their voice as I sat down behind my table. Not wanting this beautiful morning to be ruined by them, I focused on my food pack and ate it heartily. Though, I didn’t touch the fruit juice on the tumbler as I intended to drink it only whenever my throat longed for that burning liquor.

At some point, my plan did work but when there was nothing left on the tumbler, I started to get anxious. Thankfully, I thought quickly of a solution—filling up that tumbler with soda. Somehow, my anxiety grew less.

Before I entered my English literature class, I took a big gulp of soda. We’re now discussing the love story between Mary and Percy Shelley. Supposedly, we should allot one week to discuss the novel Frankenstein, but my students were so interested in the novel that they volunteered to do a self-study of the two poems and short stories that we should be tackling now.

Focusing back on Mary and Percy, they did not have a typical romantic story. Theirs was rather a big scandal since Percy was already married when he and Mary eloped. What’s worst was that Percy’s wife committed suicide even before their marriage got formally annulled. This led to Mary and Percy tying the knot in the end.

How could the two of them blatantly ignore the mere fact that they had committed a******y? Though in their defense, Percy already left his wife, still he was a married man and Mary was fully aware of it. One student suggested that Percy might have influenced Mary to adopt free love—a practice that one must not be restricted or limited like marriage or other things when having a s****l relationship. To put it simply, you can have s*x to anyone regardless if you're married or committed to a relationship. That's why it should be called free s*x, not free love.

Another student disagreed as Mary and Percy’s relationship went beyond s*x since they decided to get married, to which I agreed. What they had might be love, a selfish love that is.

My students then started to argue about free love: one side which comprised mostly of men was obviously in favor of it since we’re now in the modern era while the other side which was mostly women vehemently opposed it and called it immoral. When the bell finally rang, they groaned in protest. Nonetheless, I dismissed the class and they went out still bickering.

Thinking I still had two more classes this afternoon, I drank again the soda in my tumbler. Hours passed by quickly that I found myself ending my last period. Feeling elated for making it through the day without tasting any liquor, I was bobbing my head to the tune of the music in my car’s stereo. I was heading to the restaurant where Luther and I were supposed to have our second date.

When I got inside, I asked the attendant who led me to the terrace where I could see a better view of the people dining in and chatting quietly.

“This way, Ma’am,” I heard the attendant. When I looked at her, she was pointing at the left corner heading to a narrow hall. As we turned, I noticed there were five or six rooms lined up, which I supposed were the VIP rooms.

The attendant opened the door for me and I gladly entered. Luther was seated down and drinking some wine. Yes, a wine. My mouth watered, thinking I could finally taste what I’d been longing for the entire day.

I quickly took off my coat, sat down, and took a big gulp of that red wine. The warmth along with that aflame sensation flowing from my throat down to my stomach quenched my craving senses, making me moan softly. That really felt good.

“You seem to be delighted in tasting wine than seeing me,” A man commented.

I opened my eyes in surprise, remembering Luther was seated in front of me. I straightened myself up and looked at him with a calm expression. “Pardon my rude behavior. I should have greeted you first,” I tried to sound apologetic but my voice fell flat.

“That’s alright. At least, you came,” he said, a bit relieved. “I’ve already ordered. Food will be served soon.” His monotone voice sounded like some robot giving off a command.

What’s wrong with him? He didn’t usually speak like that? He looked tense with his tight grip on the wine bottle when he poured our glasses, and the muscles on his hollowed cheeks twitched as he clenched his jaws tautly after sipping his wine. The business meeting in New York, I assumed, didn’t go too well.

Since he wasn’t in the mood to talk while I was hesitant, fearing we would end up arguing, and this beautiful day would be ruined. So, I settled on appraising the interior of this VIP room. It was simple and elegant with its wooden paneled floor, a chestnut brown wall with a few portraits hanging to it, and a wood-beamed ceiling where a couple of small LED lights and a big lampshade minus the pole were attached directly to it. Our table was covered with plain white cloth where the dinnerware that was mostly wooden except for the wine glass and the steel chopsticks were set on it.

“You like the place?” He asked, observing me quietly.

“Yeah, it’s a lot better than the first one,” I answered honestly.

Finally, the food was served, and my eyes feasted on the varied dishes that almost filled our small table. Without a doubt, I could eat it all with my big appetite.

“So, how was your day, Faith,” he asked casually as he took a spoonful of soup.

“I hate small talk,” I quickly replied without thinking.

Before I could think of nicer words to explain, he already spoke. “Then, what do you want to talk about?”

There was one thing I wanted to ask him though. “Are you familiar with the term free love?”

He paused for just a brief second. “Yes, I’ve read about it.”

I nodded, feeling a bit impressed, I must admit. “So, do you adopt such practice?” I kept my gaze lowered as I munched the raw vegetables.

“And you’re asking this because of that article?” He sounded displeased.

I wasn’t exactly an open book, but he seemed to read my mind easily. I shouldn’t let my defense down when with him. “Why don’t we change the topic and--.”

“You still choose to believe that rubbish writing when you know it’s all lies,” he said in an accusatory tone.

“It wasn’t entirely untrue,” I replied casually.

“So you’ve readily accepted that I was this man who was casually having a s****l relationship with multiple women?”

“Are you not?” I asked, looking at him only to be met with his deadly glare. Okay, I think we’re going to argue again, but I can still stop this. “Forget about it. It was a personal question you--.”

“If I said yes, would you be disappointed?” All traces of hostility on his face were gone and replaced with a hopeful expression.

I blinked once or twice before I could come up with an answer. “No, that’s who you are and I don’t mind,” I explained honestly.

“Even if some of them were married women?” His stare was deep and penetrating as though thoroughly gauging my reaction.

“That’s why I asked you about free love,” I simply replied, not looking away from his stare.

From his reclined position, he shifted and leaned forward. “And if I do practice free love, would you still not mind?”

Why did he answer me with these rhetorical questions? It only made him look guilty more than ever. “As I said, I don’t care how many or who are those women you dated before and now. It’s not my business to mind,” I spoke while shrugging.

Luther stared at me with an amused and irritated expression. “I’m not seeing anyone presently, except you,” he noted. Then, he continued eating and I did too.

Trying to change the tense atmosphere, I thought of sharing with him my minor achievement today. “You know I haven’t drunk the entire day until now,” I announced in a much brighter tone.

Again, he surveyed my face as though gauging if I were telling the truth. “Really?” he asked with a tinge of doubt.

For whatever reason, I was offended by his skepticism. “I’m not lying. If you want, you can smell my breath and--.”

He quickly pushed his chair and went to me. Before I could even react, he scooped me up effortlessly as though I wasn’t weighing anywhere 225 pounds. In a matter of seconds, his face was close to mine even though I tried to create space by putting my hand on his chest. Then, he tilted his head and smelled my breath as he closed his eyes while mine was wide open.

This wasn’t the same when he sniffed my breath on our first date, and I started to regret why I even bothered to offer in the first place when I had just tasted wine a while ago.

“Hmmm,” he groaned in satisfaction.

Then, he opened his eyes and we found ourselves in a staring contest and carefully sizing each other’s next move. I remained stiffly unmoved though my other hand was ready to poke his eyes with my chopsticks if he dared to move closer.

After a brief moment, he loosened up his grip on my waist as he slowly stepped back and went to his own chair. I gladly took my seat but stared at him with disgust. “There’s really no need of doing that.”

“You offer, remember?” There again that mocking smile of his, getting on my nerves as usual.

“Yeah, so stupid of me,” I muttered in a low voice as I chunk in my mouth a piece of meat.

Luther must have heard it for he chuckled lightly. At least, he seemed to relax and back to his usual self. Most importantly, he didn’t do anything more than what I suggested when he could have taken advantage of the situation.

“So, why did you decide not to drink this day?” He asked in a lighter tone.

“Not just today, but starting this day, I wouldn’t put my work in jeopardy because of my drinking habit,” I told him without hesitation.

He stopped eating and looked at me, somewhat concerned. “Something happened?”

Unsure how to answer his question, I tilted my head and weighed down whether it was safe to divulge all the details. I decided not to. “Let’s just say I had an epiphany.”

He nodded as though contented with my vague explanation. “And how did you survive the day without drinking?”

My lips curved into a thin smile. “I drank the fruit juice you’re sending to me,” I informed him. “Though, I may have to learn how to make that juice because--.”

“No need, I’ll send you more,” he said with finality.

“Just add one tumbler,” I quickly said, thinking he would be sending more than what I needed.

He again nodded, while chewing meat. “I also got good news to tell you.” He said after swallowing the meat.

“What?” I asked curiously.

“The writer of that article got fired already,” he announced as though he was casually telling me about the weather.

My jaw dropped out of shock. “Why would you do that? An apology was already issued.” I quickly recovered, but my voice was raised a bit higher than I intended.

As though unbothered by my reaction, he simply shrugged. “She needs to learn her lesson the hard way,” he answered calmly. “I’ve also discovered where she got her info. Expectedly, one of the attendants of the hotel. She got fired too.”

I gasped involuntarily. He’s really going over the board. I calmed myself by devouring the sumptuous fruit sherbet and reminded myself of my intention of not ruining this day.

I heard him put down his chopsticks. “Faith, if I let them go off easily, chances are they would do it again and you’ll be upset. So, it’s better they would be punished severely. It would also be a warning to others.” he explained.

Understanding his point, I didn’t argue anymore but it didn’t mean I agree with him. Both of us remained quiet for the rest of the dinner. When I was completely full as I made sure there was no leftover, we both agreed to call it a night.

As we were both headed to the door, I abruptly stopped. “Why don’t you go ahead while I stay here for a while.” I tried to say it casually.

He turned to me with a scowl. “And why would you not go along with me?”

It’s useless to lie so I settled to tell the truth, though it would be difficult without offending him. “I’m not really comfortable to…” I struggled finding the right words. “Be seen with you with so many people around,” I quickly said.

His expression turned dark. “You’re ashamed being with me?”

“It isn’t exactly like that. It’s just that after the article…I was hoping…we could let the rumor die down before…” I sighed and just looked at him, hoping he would understand.

“Okay,” he agreed after a minute or so passed. “On one condition, we kiss,” he uttered seriously.

Inadvertently, my eyebrow arched but he remained serious. “How about a hug?” I suggested hesitantly.

Quickly, he pulled me into a bear hug and leaned down and smelled my neck just like he did on our first dance. However, the moment the tip of his nose grazed down my neck, I tried to pull away but he held me firmly.

“Sorry, Faith. Can’t help it,” he apologized, drawing back his face not too far as his breath fanned my neck as he spoke. “Just one more minute, Faith,” he softly murmured.

His gentle voice, in some way, lowered my defense that my arms were soon wrapped around his back. He responded by tightening his embrace and pressing closely his chest that was pounding violently while mine was perfectly steady.