A LIGHT IN THE FOREST

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FOUR

VEG

AThe couch was small but soft, and after the hours Vega hadspent in the stiff driver’s seat of her van, it seemed to fold aroundher body like a cloud. But Riley was wailing now, his thin lipsvibrating with the noise. The sight clamped around her heart, andshe yanked open her bag, wanting to give him relief, wanting to fillhis belly, wanting to do anything to ease his pain. She fumbledwith a bottle, quickly warming water at the faucet, baby balancedin her left arm. He rooted around her bicep, searching for milk inher sleeve. Her throat clenched at his vulnerability, and she shookthe bottle hard. He quickly latched on to the rubber n****e, lettingout little moans with each gulp.Vega breathed out and sank back into the couch, gazingoutside the window. The view peeked over the rooftops of thebuildings across the street and into the woods. Delicate greenleaves unfolded from branches, and a flare of purple flowers andwhite petals dotted the depths. It was pretty. Different from theRocky Mountain–spring brown that was punctured by dark-greenpine trees and piles of snow. And remote, which made it an idealplace for her. It had been hard enough to find it on a map, and theone road sign for Crystal had been hit once or twice and leanedso far backward that all she’d been able to read was STAL.For the moment, she felt far away from Colorado, and safe. Itwas peaceful, with the baby slurping at the bottle, the murmur ofvoices that floated up from the store below. Thin ceilings. Oneoverhead light, missing a shade, the bulb spreading a garish whiteglow above her head. A musty smell in the apartment made it feelold and unused.She wanted to lean back, close her eyes and rest, sleep foreven a minute. It pulled at her with velvet fingers, and she almostgave in, but then she popped up, blinked, shook her head. Shecouldn’t relax.She was running low on diapers and formula; she had very fewclothes except the ones she’d hurriedly packed for the two ofthem. When she’d moved in with Zach, they’d pooled her moneyinto his, using a shared Venmo account to pay for nearlyeverything. Neither of them had much, so Vega had worked doinga few odd handy jobs right up until Riley was born, despite the factthat her belly had made some work more difficult.She stared at her phone, afraid to turn it on. Her mother’swords hung in the air: If they can track you, they will. She pulledher wallet from her bag, counted the cash she had left. A fewhundred dollars. She bit her lip. For the first time in days, she wasstill, and with the stillness came a tornado of feelings that had noplace to rest, whirling around her, stoking a panic that brought herto her feet.She needed work.She pulled a Chromebook from her bag. Her mother hadbought it for her to use for her homeschool classes. It had notaged well and was often more glitchy than useful. But thank Godshe’d thought to grab it when she left yesterday. She often foundwork on the local sites for neighborhoods. She powered it on andwaited for the several minutes it took to warm up, like an old car inthe dead of winter. The screen lit up, and she clicked on thebrowser. Nothing.She tried again. Same thing. No Wi-Fi? She looked around fora router, trying not to move while the baby ate. The bottle emptied,and she put him up on her shoulder, patting his back. If he burpedor puked, it seemed to help. For a little bit, at least. She had neverthought she’d ever want to be puked on. While she tried to coax aburp, she walked around the apartment, searching everywhere fora router. Seeing nothing, she gathered her bag, keeping the babyupright, and carefully navigated the steep stairs.She hesitated outside, hand on the door, and tried to breathe.Riley wiggled against her, and she touched his head, thought ofher mom. When Vega was little, Renee taught her how to ride abike. Every kid should know. Later, it grew into mountain bikingtogether, something Vega loved because it was time with her momthat wasn’t work or rescuing women. It was normal. But on hervery first attempt, the bike had wobbled and Vega was thrown tothe ground, knees scraped bloody, tears hot on her cheeks.Renee had knelt beside her, let her cry. When she was done, hermom had pulled her to her feet and pointed her toward the bike.When you fall, get back up. There’s no sense in having a pityparty.A wet breeze brushed over her skin and Vega looked down atRiley. She wouldn’t go back. She’d made her decision, and evenwith nothing and nobody to help her but herself, she had tosurvive. For her son.Her legs shook, tears building behind her eyes. Riley stared upat her, not crying, a lift of his lips. She wiped a hand across hereyes, smiled. “No sense in having a pity party now, is there,Riley?”She opened the door.Eve’s Place smelled like coffee beans and firewood. Heffleaned against the bar, holding a chocolate-topped cake cone, hisback to Vega and the baby. Beside him sat a woman drinkingcoffee from a tiny espresso cup. The store had wood floors thatcreaked under Vega’s feet and a warmth in the air that featheredacross her bare arms, comforting and welcoming after the coldsprinkles and unheated apartment. Riley sighed against hershoulder, and she pulled the blanket around his tiny body, keepinghim upright. The peace he exuded at that moment with a full belly,gas expelled, rushed over her, too, and it was so unexpectedtears pooled in her eyes.She quickly wiped at her face. No pity party.“We carry a few diapers but only in small packs that wouldn’tlast more than a couple days.” The woman beside Heff stood andmoved around behind the counter. She wore a leather cowboy hatover her long brown hair and at least four inches of silver andturquoise bracelets on both of her slender forearms. She smiled.“I’m Eve. And you must be Vega.” Her voice was deep andhoarse, like a singer or a smoker. “Heff’s already told the entiretown about the beautiful new girl.”Heff turned, laughing. “I’m observant and I tell the truth, Eve.”Eve rolled her eyes. “You’re an old man trapped in a youngman’s body.” The two spoke like longtime friends.Vega rocked her weight, the comforting press of the babyagainst her chest. She was socially awkward. A fact she’d realizedafter moving in with Zach, meeting his friends, having dinner withhis family—her interactions stiff and uncomfortable. Always an eyeon the door, ready to leave. But after two decades of living like anomad, it wasn’t surprising. Just painful. And it needled her. Madeher question her mother’s decision to raise Vega the way she had.Wish she could get answers for why. Resent her for not beingmore honest when she’d had the chance.“I can order the bigger packs for you,” Eve said to Vega. “Ifyou’re taking the apartment, that is.” Her smile was easy andwide, and carried a youthfulness that reminded Vega of Renee,who, she guessed, would have been around Eve’s age if she werestill alive.Vega felt the sting of tears again and bit the inside of hercheek in frustration over her unbridled emotion. “Is there Wi-Fi inthe apartment?”Eve studied her for a moment. “I only have Wi-Fi in the store,and it’s spotty and slow, to say the least. The hollers around heremake it nearly impossible for adequate internet access, and I’m abit of a, well, a—”“Eve’s a traditionalist,” Heff said. “She likes space to breatheand meditate and room to do—”“Whatever the hell I want,” finished Eve. “And, Vega, in caseyou’re wondering how we function without fast Wi-Fi, well, Imoved here to get away from the grind, and I’ve grown fond ofremoving most of that social media noise from my life.”Vega blinked. She was so tired her vision had started to blur.When had she last slept for more than a few hours at a time? Shedidn’t understand why Eve was telling her all this. She didn’t careif Eve wore Tibetan robes and had taken a vow of silence. Thatwas her business. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” shesaid.“Of course not, but if you’re going to live here, you might aswell get used to people sharing their business with you, good orbad. It’s a small-town thing.” Eve slid a package of diapers into apaper sack, along with a travel bag of wipes and a couple ofwrapped sandwiches, and pushed it across the counter to Vega.“This should get you started,” she said.Her stomach twisted. It was generous but familiar. Like Eveknew she had no other options. She thought of the drive back toColumbus, and a cold, wet night in the van, shivering beside Riley.“I-I just need a place to stay for tonight. Is that a problem?” Onenight. It would give her time to gather her thoughts, maybe evensleep so she could have a clear-enough head to figure out hernext steps. Get the van fixed up the way her mother had so sheand Riley could stay in there if they had to. After that, Vega had noplans. She swallowed hard, tensed her biceps. All she’d wantedwas a home, and she couldn’t even give Riley that. The idea thatshe might fail gnawed at her stomach.Fine lines spread from the corners of Eve’s eyes. She exudeda maternal warmth that turned Vega’s knees weak and made thestore claustrophobic. “You hardly look like you’re able to stand,and your eyes keep closing like you haven’t slept in days. Stay thenight. No charge.”“Um, no, I can pay. I don’t need—”“You can argue with Eve, but she usually wins.” Heff handedher a paper cup of coffee. “I can get your things out of your vanand take them upstairs for you.”The cup was hot in her hand but Vega froze. They seemedgenuine, friendly, but she needed to do this on her own. It’s whather mother had done. She thought of Zach punching her like shewas nothing. The hardness in his eyes. Accusing her ofkidnapping Riley. Making her out to be the bad guy. Anger swamcircles in her belly. If Zach had reported her to the police, shecouldn’t stay in one place. And no matter how friendly theyseemed, Heff and Eve were nothing more than strangers.She tried to smile at Heff. “I don’t have much, I . . . all I need isin my bag here. I’ll just take the keys, if you don’t mind.” She setthe coffee down and lifted the paper sack by the handles. “Andthanks for this, Eve.”Eve smiled and crossed her arms; her bracelets thumpedtogether, giving off a metallic tinkling. “Anytime.”The door opened then, bringing with it rain-soaked air. Thecoldness was a shot of adrenaline and Vega inhaled, letting it runthrough her body, wake her up. Riley moved his fist in her hair, stillpeering over her shoulder, and she was grateful that she’dremoved the studs that rode up the curve of her ear. He’d almostyanked one out through her skin the day before.Her exit was blocked by an older man who stood just insidethe door, shaking the rain from his coat and hat. He narrowed hiseyes. “Your gosh-darn pigs are tearing up Main Street like it’s theirown private mud pool. You need to control your animals, Eve.”“You’re not kidding, Carl. Those pigs have minds of their own.I’ll have to mend their fence, I suppose. Seems somebody thoughtit would be funny to run it over in the middle of the night again.”His forehead wrinkled, and for a moment he looked confused,like he’d been prepared for a fight and now couldn’t figure out howto respond. “It happened again?”“Sure did.”“Harrison boys?”Eve laughed. “‘Boys’? In their forties, some with grandkids,and we’re still calling them boys?”Carl folded his arms, and to Vega, he looked miserable. “It ain’tright, what they’re doing,” he said, eyes on the floor, voice low andhalting. “Betty and me . . . we don’t agree with it, you know that.You’re one of us, Eve, even if you don’t look like it.”Heff made a noise and Vega thought he looked exasperated.The whole conversation felt played out, like everyone else hadbeen here before. “Uh, well, Carl, that’s not—”Eve smiled at the older man. Vega wondered why the womanput up with it. Why someone like her wanted to live in abackwoods town in the first place.But Eve didn’t seem bothered. “How’s Betty doing?”Carl stuck his hands into his coat, appearing to have beendisarmed for the moment. A pair of yellow suspenders made tolook like two rulers running up and down his torso peeked outfrom under his coat. “Oh, she’s doing real good, Eve. Said to tellyou thank you for stopping by with your witch oils. They really didhelp her headache.”“My pleasure.”For the first time, Carl seemed to notice Vega, and she held ina groan. Crystal had seemed a perfect place to hide out and avoidpeople, and here it looked like she was on track to meet half thetown.His eyebrows shot up and his mustache wiggled when henoticed the baby. “My days, a littl’un. Ain’t that just somethin’?”“It surely is.” Heff slid his hands into his pockets, rocked on histoes. “This is Vega, Carl,” he said. “But she can tell you thatherself, of course. She’s going to give the apartment a trial runtonight, courtesy of Eve.”Vega fidgeted, guilt over not being completely honest abouther financial situation a tick burrowing into her flesh. Her mothernever took charity, always provided for the two of them on herown. Her mind searched for some way to turn this situationaround. She thought of the warped floor in the kitchen upstairs,the hole in the drywall by the window, the radiator that hadn’tturned on when she tried to adjust the heat. “I noticed that theapartment needed quite a bit of work. I can fix things for you—dosome remodeling, light plumbing, a little bit of electrical work.”Carl’s face lit up. “You’re a handyman—er, woman, I mean.Sorry, Eve. Person?”Eve smiled at the man, but to Vega it seemed indulgent, tired.“I am,” Vega said.“Smart.” Eve’s eyes were soft. “Come to think of it, thatapartment does need quite a bit of work.”“It surely does,” Carl agreed.“A trade, then?” Eve said.An unfamiliar feeling spread across Vega’s shoulders,straightening them out. She had found a way to provide for herson. Just like her mother had for her. “Yes, if that works for you.”“It’s a deal.”Vega curled her hands into fists, would have punched the air inexcitement if she’d been alone. Figured it was best to leave beforethey asked any more questions. “Baby here will need a nap soon.”Carl leaned down, smiling at Riley. “Betty’ll be tickled pink toknow there’s a littl’un in town. What is he? Can’t be more ’n two,three months?”Vega’s mouth went dry. She felt Zach’s breath on her neck. AnX on her back. If he wanted to find her, how hard would it be?Young girl with tattoos, an old van that made its own statement, acrying baby. How long could she stay anywhere? She turned toHeff. “Can I have the keys now?”“Here, I’ll walk you up. Let me at least take the bag for you.”“Okay,” she relented. She wanted to get out of the store, awayfrom their curious stares, and to someplace where she couldsmooth the panic that raced through her muscles. The need forsleep knocked around her head.At the door, the man with the yellow suspenders reached out afinger and brushed it along the baby’s delicate cheek. “You becareful around here, okay?”Her skin turned cold. “What do you mean?”“One time we had a girl show up in Crystal, and she wentmissing.”“And her daddy too. Right, Carl?” Heff said.Carl gave him a look, shrugged. “That man ain’t got no right tobe missed.” He leaned closer to Vega, his gruff expression meltinginto a grin when he looked at the baby. “There’s other things youshould take care about. Like the abandoned mines—dozens of’em out in the woods. Wouldn’t want to find yerself in the bottomof one.” The baby grabbed on to his fingertip, and the older man’seyes opened wide, the corners raised in a delighted slant. “Andhaints. Plenty of those ’round here too.” Vega got the sense thatCarl enjoyed telling a few tall tales. “My Betty saw the girl oncestanding smack-dab in the middle of our kitchen. Turned her hairwhite, it did.”Eve let loose a loud laugh. “Betty’s hair turned white becauseshe’s almost seventy, Carl.” She sighed. “It’s been twenty-fiveyears, and this town still can’t believe that Donna might have leftbecause life was too hard for her here.”Carl slid his thumbs behind his suspenders. “Betty doesn’t lie,Eve. And excuse me for living, but how would you know,anyways?”The baby started to cry, and while the sound was a rocksinking into Vega’s stomach, it also came as a relief to have areason to leave right now. She had no idea what they were talkingabout, and frankly, she didn’t care. Yet their back-and-forth madeher wonder about her mother’s connections to this town. Couldany of these people have known her? A part of her wanted to ask,felt a twinge of hope. But she was on the run, and these peopledidn’t owe her anything.“Thanks for the tip. I’ll be careful.”She hurried out the door, going past Heff, the baby crying, hereyes filling along with his, the rain heavy and pelting her neck,which she had craned to protect him. Heff opened the door andshe moved inside, turning quickly to block him from coming anyfarther. “Thanks,” she said, and closed the door behind her,grateful to be alone but dreading the sleepless night ahead andwondering why her mother had ever come to Crystal.