Behind Drawn Curtains

Chapter 4

I walked into my house, still thinking about what Chris had said. At this stage it was the very last thing that I actually wanted to think about. Gay guys were nothing but perverts and I have learned in the past five years that s*x was nothing to look forward to, nor something to enjoy. It was dirty and humiliating, and above all degrading and not something that I looked forward to doing with either a boy or a girl. I was f*****g more than my fair share without having a boyfriend whose needs also had to be filled. It was bad enough having to keep James happy. If I had to add another guy to the punch my body and soul would never be able to handle it. Yes, sometimes I did long for somebody to just hold my hand, or cuddle up with me in bed, but we all knew where that would lead to, and I was nowhere ready to open my mouth to yet another d**k. What I needed was to try and keep everybody with their disgusting thoughts away from me. And that included Chris. If he thought of me in that way, I was sure that he had already undressed me a hundred times with his eye, thinking up terrible stuff he could do too me to give himself pleasure and leave me to take a bath, scrubbing myself until I was red and raw, trying to get the sticky, dirty feeling off me.

At least one good thing came out of all of this. I did not need to have s*x with James today. The only reason why I was going to do it was to have Chris here and have a whole holiday of rest, which was obviously not going to happen anymore, because even if I did what he wanted he would still come into my room every single night if I was alone.

The house was silent as a grave when I stepped in the door. I could not hear James in front of the TV like usual. He wasn’t in the kitchen either when I walked in there to grab myself an apple. Actually, after a search of the house James was nowhere to be found, and for the first time in the last twenty-four hours I was able to breathe again. There was no need to confront James right now like I thought I would. I was free for hopefully the whole afternoon if I was lucky. Just alone to think about everything that had happened. For all I knew I had lost a friend in Chris by pushing him away like that, but how did he want me to react?

My thoughts were busy with Chris as I opened my bedroom door, heading for solace and safety, where there, on my batman bedding he was. Naked. Stroking himself slowly, his eyes on the door, waiting for me to come and give him what I had promised.

I didn’t notice as the half eaten apple fell from my hand, my bag being dropped beside me. Never in my life would I have thought that I would see what I was seeing. In James’s hand that wasn’t occupied with his shaft there was something huge and red. Something I had seen in the film that he showed me last night, but never in my life had thought James would have owned.

As he switched on the red monstrosity that immediately started vibrating in his hand my face distorted in horror. Was it not enough that he wanted to bend me over a bed and push himself into my depths until I would probably scream in pain? No, he wanted to push something three times his size into me, probably tearing me apart; and the smile on his face said that he was ready to enjoy every single second of it.

“Hey my boy. I’ve been waiting for you all day,” he said with a seductive smile, his hand still working himself.

I was too shocked to answer. Seeing your stepdad on your bed with a vibrator the size of Mount Everest in his hand was one of the moments that really left you without a word to say.

“Take off that clothing and come and join in the fun,” he said as he sat up right on the end of the bed. “Today is a special day for you.”

“No,” I said. What else was there to say? There was no way I was letting him f**k me now that I didn’t have to let him do that, much less allow him to put that red thing up me.

“What?” he asked. I could see a storm beginning to form behind his eyes.

“I said no. Chris isn’t coming over for the holiday anymore,” I said, taking one step back into the hallway, getting ready to run if I needed too. I hoped with everything in me that adrenaline would kick in and help me flee away from James, because I felt cold, as if I would not be able to walk two steps, much less run down the stairs and down the street to get away from him.

“You made me a promise,” James said, standing up, turning of the vibrator and throwing it onto the bed. “Now come here and make good on it.”

“I said no,” I repeated myself as if I had nothing else left to say.

“I said come here!”

His voice boomed through my room, making me shudder and allowing chills to run down my spine as I realized there was probably no way to get out of this. If this didn’t happen right now it would happen tonight, or the night after.

“No…” I said as tears started streaming down my eyes, backing out into the hallway as he got closer one step at a time.

Before I could turn and run he was next to me, grabbing my arm in an iron grip and throwing me into the room. I could feel my balance failing and my back hitting the side of the bed – hard.

“Urgh,” I managed, feeling the pain hitting through my back.

“Now strip you little hooligan!” he yelled, towering over me with his naked body, and although I didn’t want to I started unbuttoning the top button of my shirt. Hardly being able to grasp the button I cried. I allowed every single tear that I said I would not shed in front of him slip from my eyes and run over my cheeks. And I pleaded. With every gasp of cold air I drew into my body I pleaded for mercy. I pleaded against the red thing that was somewhere on the bed behind me.

“Shut up!” he yelled as he grabbed me by the color and pulled me up, getting me to balance on my feet while my back was still on fire from the fall and my body was shaking out of fear.

Before I knew what was happening he was ripping my shirt from my body, buttons flying everywhere in the room, my body exposed to the draft, his hungry eyes and his horny hands.

“Now take off your pants or I will do it for you,” he said, calmer now, even though I could see his irritation in my sobbing and tears.

With trembling hands, as slowly as I could without him punishing me for it, hoping to buy just one more minute from actually being raped, I unbuckled my belt and removed my pants, leaving me standing in my underwear before him while his lustful eyes swept over my body.

“And the underwear?” he asked, a smile finally back on his face.

“Please James… Please… Don’t do this… I will give you a blowjob… I will suck… I will swallow… Please, don’t do this… Please…” I begged, the tears streaming over my face, my teeth clattering, making noises I have never heard myself make.

“Take them off,” James said ignoring my plea.

“It’s gonna hurt… Please… Don’t do this…” I begged.

“You’re going to enjoy it. I promise.” The calmness in his voice made me fear him even more.

“Please…” I begged, lowering my underwear, exposing the last part of me that was still covered and safe at that moment.

“Now on the bed,” he said as my underwear fell to the ground.

“Please…” I begged, lowering myself on the bed, knowing what was about to happen and knowing there was nothing more that I could do to stop it now.

I cried harder as I felt his hands move over my body. I moaned in pain as he pinched my n*****s while making adoring sounds he must have thought to be romantic.

“No! Please! No!” I screamed as I felt a finger entering me. There was no way I could just lay back and take it. I needed to fight. I needed to at least try. If he was taking the one thing that meant the most to me in this world he would have to take it by force because I was not giving it to him.

I shoved him. Hard. And then I kicked. I could feel the flesh beneath my foot where I made contact with his bare chest, and as he fell onto his back I jumped up and ran. Not caring that I was naked and scared and crying. There had to be someone out there. Someone that would care enough to care about what was happening to me. Someone that would help me.

I could hear his footsteps behind me, as he came down the stairs after me, cursing with every step he took, trying to get to me before I could get out the front door. That was the only plan I had left. To run into the street – naked. Where I knew he would not follow me without having any clothing on. But as my hand closed around the handle of the door my head hit it first as he slammed my head from the back into the door, making me see stars.

Before I knew it I was on my way back up the stairs with his hands tangled in my hair, pulling me in the direction he wanted me to go.

“You’re gonna f*****g get it now!” he screamed. “You will be sorry for what you just tried to do! Throwing my love back into my face! Little fucker!”

He did not allow me the comfort of my bed this time. I could feel carpet burns of my knees as he forced me down onto the ground, my back in the air, sobbing and wishing I could die at this very moment. That somehow my heart would just stop beating and take me away from my body so that I would not feel the pain of his fingers going into me, stretching me from the inside, making me ready to take something much bigger than just a finger or two.

I felt something bigger and I cried out in pain. I could feel myself tearing. I could feel something invading me. Going in and then out. Breaking me open. Filling me with a pain I have never felt in my life. Some excruciating feeling of loss and brokenness. And I cried. I cried because not even Death would want me now. Now I was used goods. Not good enough for anybody but James so that he could continue to use me as the dirty thing I was.

By the time he pulled out and I could feel sticky liquid dripping down my thighs I could not cry anymore. The only sound coming from me was a heavy breathing from trying to catch my breath between sobs that made a gagging sound. But it was done. He was done. It was over. Death did not come, but somehow, somewhere, someone had maybe made sure that it was over as quickly as it could be.

Then I felt it. Something big. Much bigger than what was inn me before. Something cold and vibrating against me.

“Ready for some real fun?” I heard him chuckle next to my ear.

“Please… No…” I managed but it was too late.

I sucked in my breath as the pain shot through my body, every single muscle going into a spasm as my body pulled together. I tried to scream, but I had no more breath left. My throat was sore from crying but it was nothing compared to the burning pain I felt shooting through my body with every in and out. Every stroke became worse as he used more force.

I tried one more feeble attempt to a scream, and then all went black…