The Alpha's Half-breed Mate

Loved

I never expected to be as lucky as I ended up being. How can someone with a human parent end up as the mate of one of the strongest Alpha's in the country? How did I deserve to be loved unconditionally by someone as strong, caring and the most handsome man as John?

He soon became my everything. My partner, my equal and my best friend. Weeks of unconditional love, but also wary. To overcome stress and love ache like I have, to feel like everyone I loved died around me... left me... I was scared of letting myself love John too much, and I know he felt it through the mate bond. I tried putting up a strong face, but it's not as easy as it sounds.

"What's wrong?" John brings me out of my daydreaming. He kisses my shoulder and turns me to face him. I feel tears sting my eyes. "I don't know if I can do this... I love you, but I'm scared... My anxiety has been through the roof lately, and I can't shake the feeling that I will lose you somehow..." My tears fall and I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face in his neck. I can feel his heart breaking, but I don't know if it's because of me or because he's scared of losing me too. "We can figure it out... Please, don't leave me... I love you! And I know you love me too!" His arms are pinning me to him, and I feel like I want to scream. My head is spinning with thoughts. I don't want to leave him, but it's too much too soon, and I know I will need some space. I sigh. "I know, but this is too much, John. I love you, but I need time... I'm not Luna material, and I am not love material. I'm broken, and I don't know if that will ever change..." I hear a half-choked sound coming from John, and I know I'm hurting him more than I ever intended to.

"Don't go, please. I can give you space, just don't leave... Don't reject me. I need you. You're all I want, and all I'll ever need. I will renounce my title as long as it means I can be with you..." His voice is hoarse and thick with sorrow, and I know if I am doing this, I need to do it now.

"I'm not rejecting you, and you're not stepping down as Alpha. But I need time. I need time alone, and I can't stay here. I will come back, I promise, but I have to go away for a while..." I give him a kiss on the cheek, knowing I will lose myself in him if I kiss his lips.

I get up and look around. I grab my bag and start packing clothes and the essentials in it. I grab my keys and phone, text my dad and leave. I run to my car, toss the bag on the passenger seat and peel out of there before even realizing my foot was on the break. I drive to town, gas up and keep driving, with no idea where I'm even going, I just know I have to get out of here.

John

I couldn't believe she left. I wouldn't. I can feel through the mate bond how conflicted she is, and I know she had to leave to find out for herself if she truly loves me, or if it's just because of the bond, I can feel stronger than her.

I don't know how long I sit on the floor before I'm able to get up, but feeling her leave me is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I block the mind links, block Xavier and just sit there, on the floor, smelling her. I expect her to come barging in my door and tell me she made a mistake, but I know she won't. She told me she would come back, but I don't know. I never expected her to leave me, so I don't expect her to come back either.

I close my eyes and shut down my emotions. I don't want to feel it. I feel betrayed, heartbroken and pissed off. I should've gone after her when she left, but I froze. I couldn't move.

With my emotions off, at least I'm able to function. I know I'm getting cold and distant, but she was my weakness, and I'll be damned if I let her break me too.

I don't care if she comes back or not. She's been gone for almost a year now. I don't care if she's heard the rumors about the ruthless Alpha. The Alpha that has been killing rogues for sport. I don't care. She left me, and she is the reason I am who I am. A knock on my door bring me out of my thoughts. I look up, and my Beta, Griffin, open my door, sticking his head in. "What do you want? Speak and get out!" I sneer to him, and I see his eyes flick between him and his wolf for a second before he regains control. "There's been rogues all over our borders lately. Trying to cross. They are just trying to pass to the other side of the mountains... They are out of food. There are starving women and children among them. They are scared, and they are few in numbers. No men after what I've seen..." The look I give him, make him shut up and I sneer. "I don't care. I will not have rogues on my territory! You can lead them on the outside of the boarder. I don't stoop as low as killing women and children, but unless one of them are mated to anyone in my pack, they will not set foot inside." I look back down on my desk, dismissing Griffin, and I hear a sigh before the door closes. For a second I think back to my mate. I feel her still, and I can feel how free she is. It pains me that she needed to leave me before feeling free, and if she can't feel free with me, than I might as well reject her if she ever comes back.