Rite of Submission (Rite #1) Unedited

Another Life

There was a soft knock before the door opened, but I stayed curled up in the chair. Sophie rushed across the room and threw her arms around me, “Oh, Lexi,” she cooed, wrapping her arms tight around my shoulders. “Everything is going to be ok, and Trevor is doing much better now, don’t fret.”

I didn’t have the energy to push her away or even tell her why I was really upset. I just sat there, numbly letting her hug me and pat my back as she tried to sound reassuring. “Let’s get out of this stuffy little room,” she stood back and smiled down at me, something in the depths of her icy blue eyes pulling me out of the dark hole I’d been hiding in. “Dimi had something come up last minute so you get to stay with me tonight.” She was being cheerful, and I wondered if what really happened was that he was trying to keep his distance from after what happened at the hospital.

Halfway through the house I noticed that Blake was nowhere in sight, it was just her and I walking alone. “Where’s Blake,” I interrupted her chatter about how excited she was to have a specific new vendor this year.

“Hmm,” she paused, “oh, he’s with Dimi and the rest of them.”

“So we have no escort?” I couldn’t hide my disbelief.

“There’s actually more sentries than normal posted around,” she assured, “we’re completely safe. Besides, you’ve seen how Dimi doesn’t trust anyone to be too near us.” She winked at me and continued to spill all the details of her day. She burst through the door with an extra flourish, “Ta-da!” she stood next to a small mountain of moving boxes.

“What’s all that?” worried I was about to be put to work stuffing invitations into envelopes or something.

“Well,” she kicked off her shoes and grabbed a small box to drag over to the sofa, “we didn’t know what you’d want to keep,” she pulled the box open, “so Dimi had the boys pack it all for you the last few days, and...” she pulled a credit card out of her pocket, “we get to do some shopping if there’s anything else you’d like.”

I looked into the box she’d grabbed and had to pick my jaw off the floor. It was filled with bubble wrapped knick-knacks from my bedroom at my parents’ house. Looking back at the boxes I saw my name labeled on each of them with a note of the contents. There was even a box of stuff from my old bathroom. “When,” I stammered, “how?”

She beamed happily, “I’m so happy that you’re actually surprised!” She bounced on the couch and clapped happily. “Dimi is horrible at keeping secrets.” I wasn’t so sure of that, but I didn’t want to have to tell her what he hadn’t so I just smiled. “I guess the whole Trevor thing could have made it slip his mind,” she frowned, but it passed quickly. “Oh!” she bounced happily again, “I heard you gave Nate what for, I’m just sorry I missed the look on his face.”

I couldn’t help but smile back at her, “I didn’t really pay attention.” I looked back at the stack of boxes. “So you guys just had my whole room packed up and brought here?”

She shrugged, “I think your furniture is being stored in one of the guest rooms around here too,” she got more comfortable. “We can probably go find it tomorrow if you want.”

Nodding I dropped the envelope I was still clutching into the open box and curled up on the couch. “Sounds like a plan,” I sighed, “for now I just want to eat something and sleep like the dead.”

She didn’t waste any time getting some dinner sent up for us. She used Dmitri being out of the house as an excuse to order out instead of getting something made, and before I knew it, the dining table was covered in Chinese take-out boxes. The last time I’d had so much junk food was right before finals when all my friends came over to have a study party, something Sophie had never experienced so wanted every detail.

Digging through a few boxes labeled clothes, I found my favorite flannel PJs, which made Sophie, make a face. She didn’t even seem to mind that I wanted to sleep alone on the sofa again. After a s**t-show kind of day, I couldn’t imagine a more fitting end to it.

It was sometime in the middle of the night that I woke to the sensation of my mother, brushing her fingers along my temple like she did when I was little and woke from nightmares. Dmitri was kneeling on the floor beside the couch, gently pushing the hair off my face. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered, “go back to sleep.” I mumbled something, and snuggled back into the pillow and closed my eyes.

“Is Trevor ok?” I forced my eyes back open, and sat up in a panic. There wasn’t anyone else in the room with me. Had I dreamt it? Maybe all the stress was making me crazy, or worse the wolfsbane was causing hallucinations. Sighing heavily I turned over to face the back of the couch and try to fall back asleep, but I just ended up successfully staring at the dark ceiling until sunlight started to peek through the curtains.

Sophie sauntered into the sitting room, the usual perky bounce in her step a little extra bouncy. She looked me over and her smile fell, “you look like you’ve been up all night.” She pouted, “If you aren’t sleeping well out here, I really don’t mind sharing my bed with you. You’re not a blanket hog, and you don’t even toss and turn.”

I smoothed the blanket over my lap and shrugged. “Just some, ah, um…” I honestly didn’t know what to call it, “weird dreams the last few days.”

“Ooooooh, dish!” she jumped onto the couch beside me with wide eyes and a big grin, “are they,” she waggled her eyebrows, “sexy dreams?” I threw my pillow at her, laughing she caught it and tucked it under her chin.

“I wish,” I sighed, making her frown, “I think I could make sense of s*x dreams. These are super realistic and more creepy and unsettling?”

“Oh,” she relaxed, “sounds like you’re mind is trying to work something out while you sleep. My mom used to say she did her best problem solving when she was sleeping.” She flung the pillow back at me. “You have had a lot for your mind to process recently, so it makes sense your dreams would get a little crazy.”

Hugging the pillow I shrugged, they didn’t feel like dreams. I remembered them too clearly, but it didn’t make sense for it to have happened either. I didn’t want to think about it anymore, so I shifted focus back to Sophie. “What do we have planned for today after breakfast?”

She frowned again, “Jeeze, Dimi really didn’t tell you anything huh? I’ll have to give him what for when he gets back.”I shook my head, he was still gone? “He was feeling a little, uh cagey so he’ll be gone a day or two until his, um, his wolf chills out.” She was wringing her hands, which told me there was something she didn’t want to say.

“Wait,” I felt a small pang in my chest, “where’s Candice?”

Her eyes got really big, “Why?” she leaned back a little. “Would it bother you if she was with him?”

I felt like everything was turning red around me, “It’s not funny Sophie, are they together?” I growled. Her eyes got wide as she cringed. I instantly felt guilty, but I didn’t know why, burying my face into the pillow, I mumbled. “Just tell me, where they are…”

“You can relax,” she laid a hand tentatively on my shoulder. “He’s just on a hunt with some of the guys, and she’s around here somewhere doing whatever it is she does when she doesn’t have him to taunt with her t**s and ass.” With a deep breath, I looked up from the pillow. “He’s not feeling that kind of primal this time.” She smiled warmly.

“I’m sorry Soph, I don’t know why I…”

“It’s ok, probably hormones right? I get a little crazy too once a month.” She tugged some of the blanket from me and curled her legs under it. “And none of us know what you’re going through with wolfsbane burning through you.” Her eyes lit up, “And I’ll bet that my i***t brother didn’t even tell you will most likely be poison free in a day or two as well.” She bounced excitedly where she sat. “So see, there’s lots of good news. Plus with Dimi gone, we pretty much have free reign of the whole house, so anything goes. But I’m thinking maybe you need to get dressed so we can go down and find some breakfast first.”

I looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was late for breakfast. “We’re going to go find breakfast?”

Hopping off the couch and snatching the blanket with her she headed towards the bedroom. “Yeah, but don’t tell Dimi I let the kitchen staff have the day off. He gets cranky when I mess up his scheduling.”

Following her lead I dug through my bathroom box, all too happy to see my own soaps. I cracked open the shampoo cap and sniffed in the sweet almond oil and cherry smell with a sigh. I also rummaged through a box of clothes and pulled out a graphic tee that read ‘Words are Hard’ and a pair of faded jeans with some paint splatter on them. There was a brief moment of sadness, trying to remember the last time I got to paint anything, but I shoved it aside and gathered up all my bounty to get ready for the day.

In the kitchen, Sophie stood in the pantry searching for something for a long time, asking me to look behind things on the shelves she couldn’t reach. After exhausting everywhere she could think to look she stomped her foot, “Ooooh, I’ll get him for this! He must’ve found my cereal and threw it out.” She pouted.

I just tilted my head, “He won’t let you have cereal?”

“It was special cereal,” she pouted some more, “it was sugar frosted and had marshmallows.”

Looking around the pantry I saw plenty of basics, “Well,” I started gathering some of the canisters and bags off the shelves, handing some for her to help carry, “he’s not here, we could just have cookies for breakfast.” I grinned, piling all the ingredients out on the counter. She followed and dumped her armload on the counter as well.

“You’re going to make cookies?” she looked confused. “You bake?”

I just shrugged and started looking through the cupboards for bowls and spoons and cookie sheets. “Yeah, cookies and cake and bread and even fudge, but there isn’t enough chocolate in there for that.”

“You bake?” she repeated, still looked confused at the very idea.

Finding some measuring spoons and cups I started throwing ingredients into the bowl. “Well yeah,” I checked the fridge and pulled out milk, butter and eggs. “My mom would always volunteer to make things for the school bake sales and we’d spend all day making a huge mess and too much food. But her stuff always sold out and…” I pushed the sadness away again, “they’re probably some of the best memories I have with her.”

Sophie watched in amazement as I mixed everything together and asked about everything I added to the bowl, wanting to know what it was, what it did and how it tasted by itself. The smell of fresh baked cookies filled the kitchen and some of the neighboring rooms, because it drew in the attention of the staff that was nearby.

It was nice to make something again, and to watch Sophie burn her tongue as she tried to stuff her face too soon. I grabbed a banana from a bowl of fruit and sat on the counter to watch as the plate of cookies slowly turned into a plate of crumbs. “You didn’t get any?” Sophie frowned as we watched the last two cookies walk out the door.

I just shrugged. “I don’t really like sweets.”

Her jaw dropped, “How does anyone not like sweets? Why bake if you don’t like what you make?”

I grinned, wiping a smudge of chocolate off her lip. “I like what baking does, it brought all those other people into the room that we wouldn’t have otherwise seen, and everyone of them left with a smile, and a piece of me.”

“You know, sometimes you’re weird,” she giggled, “it’s nice, we’d all let it get so stale and boring around here.”

Hopping off the counter I set to cleaning up, which got me another confused look. “Now what are you doing?”

“I’m not going to leave another cook’s kitchen dirty, that’s like walking through someone’s bed with muddy shoes on your feet.” She laughed, “I’d rather not be banned from the kitchen by an angry chief.”

She waved her hand around, “I mean it’s technically your kitchen by default. I mean as long as you stay with us.” I just shrugged off her sale’s pitch and finished cleaning up; it wasn’t even that many dishes. Afterwards, she grabbed my hand and started pulling me out the door. “I want to see what else you’ve been keeping secret,” she tugged me through a dark library, into what looked like a music room. “Do you play?”

“Do I play what?”

“An instrument,” she sat down behind a giant harp and plucked a few strings, strumming bright cheerful chord.

“Not really,” I looked around the room my eyes resting on the black baby grand piano. “I took some lessons when I was younger, but I’m not very good I’m afraid.”

“Dimi can play violin,” she plucked a few more strings, “but he’s been too busy these last few years to really get a chance to play anymore. What did you learn to play?” I gestured towards the piano, “well, come on, Let’s hear it.”

She had that very determined look on her face that let me know that there was no getting out of it. Sitting down on the bench, I stretched my fingers over the keys and gently pressed a few experimentally. “It should be in tune,” she sat beside me, watching. I could only really remember one piece called ‘sunrise’ because it had been my favorite.

Closing my eyes, I let my fingers rely on muscle memory and played what I could remember, until I hit the wrong note. I quickly pulled my hands away from the keys, and shrugged. “I guess I’m more than a little rusty.”

She nudged me with her shoulder, “it was really pretty, sad, but pretty. You should practice more.”

Having free run of the house had lit something in her that I hadn’t seen before. She dragged me from room to room, possibly hyped up on the sugar from a cookie breakfast, but also the freedom to just do as she wished. It reminded me that she was as much prisoner here as I was.

I made her grilled cheese for lunch, which she found a fascinating process again. I realized that she’d never really seen anyone cook before, and why would she when she was surrounded by people who did it for her? After lunch she helped me go through the boxes stacked in her room, curious to see what kinds of things made up my life before I came.

Going through my clothes proved especially fun for her. She insisted on trying on a few of my more worn in clothes. Her petite, short legs drowned in the fabric of my long legged jeans, or my ankle length grown that I’d worn to a wedding for one of our neighbors. Everything meant to accommodate my height, pooled down at her feet like a child playing dress up. She did enjoy helping me sort through my box of PJs, surprised by how much of it was made of lace or gauzy see thru materials. “My mom was big on feeling special in what you wear, especially when you sleep. Although,” I paused as the thought occurred to me, “maybe she was just trying to prepare me to look a certain way…”

Sophie completely ignored my dark mussing, “Which is your favorite? Which one makes you feel special?”

“Promise not to laugh?” She nodded and pretended to zip her lips. I pulled out a Grecian, ankle length green satin nightgown with gold trim, and held it up.

She clapped, “Wow, I wanna see, will you show me?” I scrunched up my face. “Please,” she pouted.

I headed into the bedroom and changed, “remember not to laugh,” I chided before stepping back into the sitting room. The bare back and deep v of the front, with the gold ribbon detail that crossed over my ribs made me feel like a fairytale princess from a faraway land.

“Holly,” her jaw dropped, “Now that’s some lingerie!” she whistled, and wiggled her eyebrows. I could feel the blush creeping over my cheeks. “We need to get you some more like that,” she waved the credit card.

“I’m changing back,” I darted back into the bedroom and put my regular clothes back on. Dropping the nightgown, on our ‘to keep’ pile I sat back down on the floor and finished sorting through the box alone while she ordered a pizza. I was surprised with how fast we were sorting through the boxes that made of my life, and how much of it I’d set aside to get rid of, so much of it from another life for a different girl.

We’d made it halfway through all the boxes by the time she was yawning constantly and falling asleep against the arm of the sofa. I insisted on sleeping in the sitting room again, worried I might have another weird dream and end up waking her up. I didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t get enough rest. In just my tee shirt, I curled into the couch, and looked over at the small bit of my life I wanted to keep so far. So much of what I had thought was important just wasn’t that important to me anymore.

I could feel him watching me in the dark, even with my eyes closed. After a while it was just frustrating to know he was sitting there, so I chucked my pillow at the feeling. There was a thud and I opened my eyes to see he’d caught the pillow and dropped it on the floor, leaning back in the chair, his eyes still watching me. “Whatever,” I mumbled, readjusting myself, propping my head on my arm. When I looked back at the chair he was gone.

Tired of feeling like I was going crazy, I tossed the covers back and got up. Looking around the dark room, I didn’t see anyone else. I picked the pillow back up and dropped it on the sofa. Taking a deep, slow breath through my nose I tried to see if I could smell anyone else. The room was thick with the vanilla and spice smell that followed Sophia around, but there was also notes of my almond and cherry shampoo. I smelled again for that smoky sandalwood, but couldn’t sense it. I peeked into the hall, still no guard, so I crept into Dmitri’s rooms again.

I looked through each room of his suite, but beside the lingering scent of spice and sandalwood, there were no signs of him. I don’t know why I grabbed one of the pillows off his bed and carried it back across the hall with me. There was something comforting about curling up with something that smelled like him while being wrapped in a blanket that smelled like Sophie, topped with the weighted blanket we’d pulled from my boxes. My parents had bought it for me to help with the reoccurring nightmares I used to have. As the sense of ease settled over me, I fell back to sleep.

Sophie woke me up with a mad grin. “Cookies for breakfast?” she bounced into the arm chair.

I didn’t think I had the energy to keep up with a sugar high Sophie today. “I can do pancakes,” I offered tucking the pillows and blankets into one corner of the couch. She agreed and so began another day of running around though the house, this time to show me how to get to a few specific rooms… the kitchen, Dmitri’s office, the medical wing, a library that held mostly historical records and lore, even a gym and of course the music room. She insisted that everyone should take the time to have music in their lives. She even made me promise to try to get Dmitri to spend some time in there every once in a while.

Dr Martinez gave me the all clear, saying my toxicity levels were so low that I probably couldn’t even make anyone sick any more. Trevor was doing better too, and didn’t even remember me.

Sophie and I finished sorting through my boxes. The small amount that was staying was depressing. Most of it was clothes; we even added the clothes she’d pulled from her mother’s closest. But my life had compressed down to 10 moving boxes, lined up along the wall of her sitting room. There was also all my toiletries currently on a shelf in her bathroom, and we’d ordered more of them so that I’d have plenty no matter which twin I was spending time with. She planned on going through her own clothes to make room for mine in her closet, insisting she’d make him do the same.

I was exhausted by the time we parted ways to sleep. I didn’t even know he was there until I felt his hand on my shoulder. As soon as I rolled over to tell him to go away, his lips crashed into mine with so much intensity that I felt like he was drawing all the air from my lungs. His fingers twisted in my hair, tilting my head back so that he could nuzzle against my neck, making me sigh heavily. There was a slight pain, then bliss as I felt him suck gently on my neck, his tongue swirling over the skin. “Mine,” he growled lustily.

I bolted upright and grabbed at my neck. I was alone in the room but my neck felt wet. Was it sweat or blood? I ran to the bathroom and frantically searched the reflection in the mirror. I didn’t see any marks, no bite. But I couldn’t shake the sensation of his teeth in my skin as his lips and tongue had caressed the area around it. If coming off wolfsbane was giving me these insane dreams, I’d rather be a walking biohazard.

Splashing some water on my face, I checked my neck again, still nothing. I crept back out to the couch, careful not to wake Sophie. I snatched the pillow I’d stolen from his room off the couch and threw it across the room so it landed with a soft thud near my ‘get rid of’ boxes. It was another night of staring up at the dark ceiling for me, but I didn’t want to see what would happen if I let myself close my eyes again.