Rite of Submission (Rite #1) Unedited

Doubt

I sat alone in that room for what had to be several hours. Curled up like a cat in the chair, I stared out the window. The sun drifted lazily across the sky; eventually dropping down to the tree line of the forest covered the majority of the pack’s territory. The sky shifted from bright cheerful blue to a golden pinkish glow, as if the trees had suddenly burst into flames, without any smoke. It was beautiful, and as much as I enjoyed the past few hours of being alone, I was starting to wonder why no one had come to collect me.

Were they all afraid to be around me? If there really was enough wolf’s-bane in my blood to kill someone, were they all worried that I could kill them? Where they waiting to see if I just dropped dead? I didn’t even feel sick, so how could I possibly be filled with poison? Better question, how did I get poisoned without it also affecting Sophia or Dmitri?

This was the first time in a week that I was actually alone. Yes, Blake was likely standing just outside the door, but no one was telling me what to do or where to go. Looking around at the walls lined with books, I didn’t have the motivation to look through the titles, because I just felt like doing nothing. I knew I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast this morning, but I didn’t feel hungry either. I felt nothing and wanted nothing and wanted to do nothing.

As the sun continued to set, the room darkened. Eventually someone would come to collect me, and odds are that wouldn’t bode well for me in the long run. With one last look around my temporary sanctuary, I pushed myself out of the chair and shuffled to the door. If I could just get upstairs and be able to crawl into a bed, it would be the perfect end to this crazy day.

I expected to step out through the door and see Blake, leaning against the wall, standing guard and waiting to lead me back up the twins’ suites. What I got was a the slumped over and sleeping Dmitri, sitting on the floor, with his back against the wall and his head resting on his arms, folded over his bent knees. For a fleeting moment, it occurred to me that I could try to slip past him and sneak out into the night, but where did I really have to go? Not to mention, at this moment there was literally a Dr dedicated to finding out what was going on with me, and I wanted those answers.

Crouching down, I could see his face more clearly. He had some scruff growing on his chin, and dark circles starting to form under his eyes. This was probably the most unkempt I’d seen him, minus the time I tried to take a chunk out of his hand. The thought drew my eyes, directly to space on his hand between his thumb and finger. As a wolf, he’d have extraordinary healing, as an Alpha, that healing would be like a super power. Even so, I could clearly make out where my teeth had sunk into the skin. The half moon scar was stark white against his normally golden tan, and smooth. It reminded me of the scar my mother had on her neck…

“f**k me!” I blurted the words as soon as the realization hit me.

“You’ll have to give me a few minutes,” he grumbled sleepily. Yawning, he stretched his arms overhead and pushed himself up into a standing position. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and smiled down at me, “Shall we?”

I pushed the hand he offered me way and stood up on my own. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Stretching some more he shrugged. “Not to mention, are you really willing to risk dying for it?” I huffed.

Scratching the scruff on his chin, he grinned, “It wouldn’t be a bad way to go.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“That’s a great idea!” I scoffed and started down the hall, “Let’s just go have s*x and see if it kills you.”

He jogged after me, chuckling. “First of all,” he caught me by the wrist to stop me, “you’re headed the wrong way.” He gave me another cheeky grin. Yanking my hand free, I stormed off in the other direction. “And second,” he followed right behind me, “if I die, there’d be no reason to keep you here.”

I couldn’t tell if he was trying to make jokes to lighten the mood, unsuccessfully, or if he was being serious. Either way, it wasn’t helping. “Sure, you die and I’m free of you. I’m sure I’d be kept alive long enough to see if you managed to knock me up and then I’d be dead not long after.” I had to look to him to direct me where to go when we got to the end of the hall. He nodded at a flight of stairs across the room. “Where’s Blake?” I wondered aloud.

“His mate had some important news she needed to tell him, so I gave him the rest of the night off.”

“But it’s still Sophie’s day.”

He held his chest, “Ouch! That one hurt,” he frowned at me before heading up the stairs. I just rolled my eyes.

Before I knew it, we were standing in the hall outside their rooms. As I went to push open the doors to Sophie’s suite, he twirled me around and sandwiched me between the wall and his body. He leaned into me, pausing just before our lips touched. His breathing sounded rough and his eyes had that dark and stormy look to them.

“What are you doing?” I whispered worried Sophie might hear me and come out and see us like this.

“If kissing you could kill me,” he kept his voice low too, “I would’ve been dead this morning.” He cupped the back of my head as he brushed his lips against mine. “And it would be worth a thousand deaths,” he breathed the words into me. I melted into them, wrapping my arms around his waist; I pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. His lips felt like a bruising force, but I also felt like I couldn’t get enough of them.

“See?” he pulled away slightly, “I’m still here.” There was a playful smile plastered on his face.

“This isn’t something to joke about, damn it!” I pushed him away from me and opened the door, tired and frustrated with his antics. I stormed into the room, startling Sophie sitting on at the table reading through a stack of files.

“Is everything ok?” She called after me, as I continued on towards the bedroom.

“Absolutely,” I turned on my heels, “Goodnight, Dmitri.” I glared at him, almost daring him to try anything else.

After a stern look from Sophie, he chuckled, “Goodnight, My Luna,” he bowed with a dramatic flourish, before backing out of the room and closing the door behind him.

With a look of concern, she turned back to me. “What happened?” She set her paperwork down and frowned.

I sighed, “I can’t tell if he’s crazy or has a death wish at this point.” I crossed back into the sitting room and flopped down on the sofa. “Either way, he seems to just enjoy tormenting me?”

“What did he do now? Do I need to go yell at him again, because I will,” she sounded just as annoyed with him as I felt. I shook my head no. “Did he at least tell you the good news?”

“What good news?” a little hope started to spark.

She clapped her hands, “Your blood showed lower levels of wolfsbane, it seems like your body is metabolizing it and breaking it down. Dr Martinez thinks you might be related to a bloodline that is actually immune to it, she’s going to run some genealogy tests.” She seemed very excited. “If you can pass that ability on to your offspring, then it might explain why our father was so intent to have you and Dmitri…” she snapped her mouth shut. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“It’s ok,” I tried to smile, “I’m just tired, so I’m just going to soak in a bath and then go to bed if that’s ok.”

“Of course,” she smiled back, “do you want me to have some food brought up? Maybe some tea,” I nodded and made my way to the bathroom.

I closed the door, and stripped down while the tub filled with water. The hot water burned a little as I settled into the tub, but as I adjusted to the temperature, my muscles started to relax, letting the heat melt the tension away. If only there were a way for the water to ease the torrent of thoughts I couldn’t seem to quiet.

I could be immune to something that meant death for anyone else. I had spent the day agonizing over the possibility that I could have somehow been a walking death sentence to everyone around me. I could understand why I was worried about Sophia and even Blake; it was Dmitri that I couldn’t seem to come to terms with.

Besides the thought of being put to death for causing his death, why did I care so much? Why did I let him kiss me just now? Worse, why did I kiss him back? I let my fingertip trail over my lower lip, reminding me of the way he’d kissed me the night before. But that hadn’t been real; Sophie had told him to be nicer and gentler with me. Everything with him was a manipulation to try to get me to give in. I’d been letting myself forget all of that.

Why had he sat and waited outside the library for me earlier? He could have sent anyone to babysit me if he felt the need to let Blake leave. He also could’ve just ordered me returned to his or his sister’s rooms for that matter. Instead I’d been left alone, for much longer than we’d agreed, unless I was in some kind of isolation.

Still nothing could explain how I’d been able to ingest so much wolfsbane without it also getting to one or both of the twins. There was nothing I had that was separate from the two of them. I’d been here for a week so there wasn’t a way that I’d gotten here already poisoned, was there? For there to still be such a high amount running through my veins, I’d have to of had an ungodly amount and immune or not, there had to be some kind of side effects for that.

I also couldn’t shake the image of the scar on Dmitri’s hand. Was it possible that he just hadn’t noticed it? I’d missed it all week, maybe he had too. That didn’t seem likely; they had their own Dr that definitely should have noticed. When had it healed over? The Dr had said something about me being able to heal almost as fast as he did. Maybe it didn’t count as my mark, because of where it is. I shouldn’t have been able to leave one in the first place. Running my tongue along the edge of my teeth, I couldn’t imagine how it’d be possible, I had the wrong chemistry.

I needed to get my hands on the original and revised contracts again. There had to be some clue in there that would answer at least one of my questions. Did both our parents know about my immunity? As far as I knew we’d been given sanctuary into their pack when I was about 2-years-old. The thought of someone proving a toddler could be immune to an herb that was lethal to all lycanthropes regardless of their ability to shift seems particularly cruel. Sophie had mentioned more than once that her father had not been a good man. Were my parents immune too? At least one of them had to be right? How else did I inherit the trait?

Maybe it was the exceptional healing that made it all possible. Looking down at my arm, the flesh was completely unmarred. Thinking back, I should have been bruised from head to toe, literally that first night. I didn’t remember seeing a single bruise or red mark anywhere. A few years back, I’d been on my school’s track and field team. I’d tripped over a hurdle, and everyone was sure my ankle had broken, but I only had a sprain for a few days. My mom had insisted that I not do sports anymore after that. I also couldn’t remember ever being sick before either.

Being able to leave a “love bite” mark, the ability to heal this fast… these were traits only shifter’s possessed and I wasn’t a shifter. I was too old to have not had my first shift yet if I was. Even if I could shift, I’d never heard of a female shifter having children, at least not one that wasn’t an alpha. If I couldn’t have children, I couldn’t give the pack an heir. Math had never really been my strong point, but if Dmitri became Alpha when he was 18, I would’ve been 15 at the time, but I got my first period when I was 13. My mom had taken me to several Drs around that time, could I have been tested back then to make sure I wasn’t infertile? But would his father have been shrewd enough to ensure the viability of the match he’d made for his son? The thought made my skin crawl. The math gave me a headache.

There were other things I’d ignored over the past few days. Sophie had said that she could feel me scenting her from across the room, like it wasn’t something everyone could do. When I first arrived, both Dmitri and Nathan had physically invaded my personal space to scent me, or was that just another way to humiliate and degrade me? So far I’d been able to resist Dmitri’s Alpha sway, and I could mentally block out the effects of his pheromones, even if my body couldn’t. It’d taken, 6 grown men to subdue me. The foreign voice in my thoughts, and the dark shadow I thought I’d imagined in the reflection. It all added up to something, I just couldn’t figure out what.

Did my parents know more than they told me? Of course they did, they kept the fact that I was going to end up being handed over to the pack’s Alpha one day and they never told me. What more could they have hidden from me through my life? I would probably never be able to ask them unless I fulfilled the agreement they made.

Dmitri had already proven that the experience could be physically enjoyable. Just the thought of it sent a tingling sensation from my n*****s down between my legs. I couldn’t deny that I felt a physical attraction to him. It was having the decision made for me that I couldn’t get over. The only choice I had left was to say no, and even that had its limits. Eventually he’d find a way to overcome my willpower and then I’d have no choice in the matter anymore.

Trying to sort all these thoughts out, was just giving me a headache. I wasn’t solving anything, because I still didn’t have any answers, just more questions. Every time I thought I had an answer, it just raised more questions, until I was buried under a mountain of them. I sank lower in the tub, and laughed, drowning, I was drowning in uncertainty.

Exhausted with my own thoughts, I let the water out of the tub and wrapped myself in a towel. Walking into the bedroom, I could see that Sophie still seemed to be up working on her pile of files. Staring at the pile of clothes that were for me, my eyes settled on the tee shirt and boxer shorts I’d pulled from Dmitri’s dresser this morning. Out of all the fabric piled on the settee, they looked the most comfortable and the most like something that would have come out of my own dresser. I was too exhausted to let my mind wrestle over the idea of comfort over what would it imply to everyone else, so I just pulled them on.

I stood staring at the bed in the middle of the room for a long while. I was also tired of sleeping in one twin’s bed or the other. Grabbing a pillow and one of the extra blankets from the closet, I made my way back out into the sitting room. Sophie looked up for a moment, but I lied and told her that I just wanted to watch some TV on the couch for a while. She nodded and returned to her work. I curled up on the sofa and flipped through the stations, finally staying with some kind of documentary about the depths of the oceans. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep, and Sophie didn’t try to wake me up when she went to bed. For the first time since I got here, I slept alone.