The Strength of a Luna

Decisions

Chapter 10

Arden POV*

I managed to make it all the way to the clearing before panic set in. Andrea was no where in sight yet, and Fae was still ‘waking up’ from her nearly 2 week forced sleep.

I thought mates are supposed to be our other half. How could I end up with someone who sees me as property? How did I end up with a mate who thinks that women are inferior? I’ve trained my whole life to be a warrior, to be strong for my pack and for my family. When I found out I was going to be Luna, I was scared, but I figured that my training would work to my advantage. I would be a kick ass warrior Luna, one who could fight beside her pack and raise morale by showing that I’m with them.

But now, how am I going to be able to do that if my Alpha, my mate, thinks that I’m not even worthy of having contact with my wolf? Can I live like this? Can I give control to a mate who doesn’t even talk to me? He has only occasionally come into a room to hold me and take in my scent. Am I just here for his comfort?

I hear the trees rustling and turn to see Andrea entering the clearing. I run over and throw myself into her arms, my panic is full blown now, and I don’t know how to calm down. She held me tight without any question. After a few minutes, she pulls away just enough to lead me over to the giant rock we sat on last time we were here.

“How bad is it?” Andrea finally asks quietly.

“I-I asked if he would let me speak to my wolf. Hopefully when she fully wakes up, I can talk to her and find out what she thinks.” I manage to get out, though my heartrate is still raised with anxiety. “I don’t know if I can do this Andrea. I thought that if I talked to him, I would be able to see some cracks in the cruel armor he has shown everyone else, and then I could feel like I would make a difference for the pack. But now, I think I’ll be a prisoner here. He thinks I’m his property. In his office, he got so… intense. And his wolf took over. I thought he was going to take advantage of me.”

“Advantage how?” Andrea asked. Her voice had taken on a dark tone, and I looked up to meet her gaze.

“Max said he would wait for the ceremony only because Robbie promised.” I managed to whisper, “But the look he gave me, I thought for sure that if I said the wrong thing that he would force me to mate with him.” I took a deep breath and Andrea let out a small growl. “What happened to me? I’ve trained my whole life to be a warrior, a protector. And yet I’ve managed to become this mess of a person in less than two weeks. You know, I actually bowed in submission. I’m disgusted with myself. The worst part, is that part of me wants to give in and just let him be in control.”

“NO.” She said forcefully while grabbing my shoulders to shake me. “Listen to me Arden. That is the mate bond talking. You deserve more than that. I could see the strength in you, and that is why I told you about what I’ve learned in this pack. I don’t want to see you hiding away behind some man, and you don’t want that either. Especially a man that you don’t trust. Even if it is your mate. I had hoped he would be tamed by you, but if you have even a doubt about your safety with him, then don’t give in to the mate bond.”

Her intense gaze and gentle shaking knocked some sense into me. Adding to my confidence was Fae finally waking up and talking to me for the first time in what felt like forever. My body literally sagged in relief from hearing her in my head.

Arden, wha… what happened? Her voice was groggy and her confusion was surprising to me. Where are we? Where is mate?

‘Please Fae. Look at my memories from the last 2 weeks. I need your help.’

While she got her strength back and took her time to start looking through the last couple of weeks’ worth of memories, I looked back at Andrea to see her with a small smile on her face.

“I see your wolf woke up.” She nudged my side.

“I don’t know what’s going on with her. She sounds almost drugged, and she has no memory of any of my time here. Even if she was subdued, she should have still had some awareness.” I could hear a slight bit of hysteria in my voice. The confidence I had gotten from her pep talk and feeling my wolf return was being overridden by my worry for Fae.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you. Whatever the witch did to allow the males to subdue the female wolves tends to weaken the wolf while under the influence. I don’t know what type of spell she cast, but when Jason gave me access to my wolf, it took about 2 hours for her to be back to normal. It might be different for you since I was only out of contact with my wolf for a day before Jason remembered to release his control. It was automatically put in place once I crossed the borders.”

“2 hours?” I squeaked out “but Robbie is only letting me communicate for a few hours. I don’t know when he will take control back!”

My panic was rising again. Even as I felt Fae getting stronger and more focused, I still felt the fear of being disconnected from her again. Andrea was rubbing circles on my back trying to calm me down, and I started to do deep breathing exercises while willing Fae to be strong enough to give her opinion on everything.

Fae has always had a stronger will than me. Even though I had been labelled as feisty many times by my old pack mates and friends, I knew she was the true feisty one. I was outspoken, but she was firm in her beliefs and made sure that I was taken care of. If I had a bad day, I could always be sure that she would cheer me up with threats to go after whoever had upset me. If she saw someone being wronged, she would easily push me out of the way to take over and help.

Feeling her weakened is terrifying to me. She has been my strength and my confidant since I was 13. I was an early shifter, and every day that I trained, she was pushing me to be better. Every single thing I have ever set my mind to has only been completed because I’ve had her in my corner. What happens if the mate bond is too strong for her? Especially in her weakened state, what do I do if she says that we can’t go against our mate? Wolves usually bond a lot stronger to their mates than the humans. I need her strength with me.

Andrea and I sit in silence for what felt like a long time. I can feel and see Fae slowly going through my memories of the past couple weeks. I feel her contentment and joy during the memories of our mate holding us. Each time she gets to one of those memories, I squeeze Andrea’s hand with fear and anxiety. The memories start flicking by faster showing Fae is getting stronger. I do my best to not let my fear influence her opinion of everything. I’ve always trusted Fae, and right now, I have to trust her with the biggest decision ever. Out of nowhere, she cuts me out and stops sharing her emotions with me. I almost freaked out thinking that Robbie had decided that I had enough time with her, but I could still feel her in the back of my mind and she was very much awake.

“I don’t want to interrupt but...” Andrea whispers, “How does she feel?”

“She is getting stronger, and I can feel her going a little faster through the memories, but she isn’t sharing anything with me yet.” I tell her. “I think she should be getting near the present time, but I can’t know anything for sure.”

“She is already strong enough to hide it from you?” Andrea’s surprised look confuses me. “It has only been 10 minutes. Since I got here.”

“What!? I thought it was a couple hours already! I was sure we were running out of time.”

“Your eyes glazed over for a few minutes, so I guess sharing the memories made it feel like more time has passed. But seriously, your wolf must be really strong if she is already able to shield you. I know I haven’t been here long, but I have never seen any of the other female wolves be able to get their strength back that fast. Usually they are allowed out for the pack run, but it takes hours for everyone to be up to strength.” Andrea’s eyes show how surprised she is by this fact, and before I get a chance to think too much on it, I feel an incredible amount of rage flow through me.

HE DID WHAT! HE LOCKED ME UP FOR 2 WEEKS AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT! Fae screamed through my head. I feel her push me out of the way, and take control of my body. I see Andrea shrink back a little as soon as she seeing the sapphire glow of Fae’s eyes.

“My name is Fae,” she growled at Andrea “I need to know myself, is everything you told my human true? Even about the staff?”

“Y-yes.” Andrea squeaked out.

“Thank you.” Fae slipped back into the recesses of my head and let me take control.

“Wow, so she’s definitely scary.” Andrea told me. “What now?”

“I- I don’t know. She shut me out again, but before she took over, she sounded pissed.”

“She looked pissed. I’m not gonna lie, her Aura was really powerful. I almost ran away… or pissed myself.” I looked at her face to see if she was joking, but Andrea’s eyes only held the truth.

“I don’t know about all that, but I need her help with this. How am I supposed to know how to fix this without my best friend?” I was whining, and avoiding the topic of Fae’s strength. “I know it seems weird, but Fae has helped my with everything that I’ve done in my life. I don’t feel comfortable moving forward in this situation unless she is with me.”

“It’s not weird. My wolf, Lucy, has been yapping away in my head since I was 16, but without her, I wouldn’t feel complete.” Andrea assured me right as Fae made her presence known once again. Andrea must notice it because she lets the conversation drop while I talk to Fae.

Arden, what do you want to do? Fae asked, but I could feel her holding her feelings back from me. Just as I try to do for her, she doesn’t want her feelings guiding my own.

‘Honestly, I don’t know. I can’t live with you being suppressed like that. And the way he treats the pack… Fae, I just don’t understand how we ended up with a mate like him. And I don’t know where to go from here.' as I finished talking to her, I could feel her anger seeping through the wall she had put up.

There is no way in hell I will let him put me to sleep again. She growled loudly before calming her voice to a more bearable level. His wolf won’t even talk to me, and he treats you like he owns you. Arden, it is your choice in the end, but I won’t live like this.

‘I won’t either.’ I tell her and relief flows between our bond.

I turn towards Andrea and meet her eyes.

“Thank you so much for everything you have done for me since I’ve been here,” I tell her while Fae is in the back of my mind formulating a plan, “but I can’t stay here. I can’t be your Luna. And… I need your help so I can escape.”