The Marriage Contract

Mixed Feelings

When I woke up on Friday morning, I noticed three things: 1) I wasn't in my bedroom, 2) it was insanely - but still comfortably - warm and 3) Ryland's t-shirt was in a wad on the floor.

I was vaguely aware of the music playing softly from somewhere in the apartment and as the sun warmed my face, it would've been easy for me to fall back to sleep...until warm breath fanned across my cheek and the sound of light snoring found its way up to my ears.

Automatically, I tensed up. Slowly, I looked behind me and found a shirtless Ryland pressed up against my back, his arm over my waist and his head nestled carelessly in my hair. I gulped suddenly nervous, even though I really had no reason to be...I mean I know that we didn't get "carried away" last night, because we didn't even touch each other, so how we ended up in this position is really beyond me.

Carefully, so I didn't have to wake him up, I moved his arm from around my waist and eased off the couch into the floor. I sat there for a minute, making sure that he wasn't awake, then stood up and checked myself - all seemed to be in order.

I looked back at him once more and just lingered on his face. As he slept, all the masks and tenseness that he normally wore was washed away; he had an innocence about him that you rarely see on men - or women for that matter.

As I looked at him, I really noticed his face for the first time. He had let his stubble grow out a bit since I met him about a week ago; his eye lashes were so long that they very nearly brushed against his cheeks as he slept and his lips were the perfect cupids bow. I could understand why just about any woman would fall for this Adonis-like creature laying before me; I know that many women would cut off their right arm to be in my position, but I just can't ignore his attitude. How closed off he is all of the time...except for last night.

Last night, he was different. All those walls that he normally had up around me, and basically anyone else were collapsed...mostly. I could still see hesitations in his eyes, like he was afraid of something, but it was clear that he was at least attempting. And if he can, so can I.

With this thought in mind, and one last look at him, I tiptoed into the kitchen and began looking around. I have lived here going on a week now and this would be the first time that I had attempted to cook in this kitchen - which is very strange considering how much I loved cooking for me, my mom and dad.

Opening the refrigerator, I looked around for a second before I spotted my intended targets: eggs, bacon and cheese. Next I went in search of a frying pan. After a couple of minutes, I found one and went to work frying the bacon and scrambling the eggs; putting a couple pieces of bread in the toaster, too.

Just as I was separating the food onto two different plates, I heard Ryland moving around in the living room. Eventually, he made his way into the kitchen. He stood in the door, still shirtless, running a hand through his messy hair. If I thought that he was attractive before, well, this surpasses anything - and anyone - I had ever seen.

He said nothing as he looked over at me with a slightly confused look, "Well," I said, breaking the silence, "I thought since you rented the movie and bought take-out, I could at least make you breakfast," I said with a genuine smile on my face that I haven't shone in a while.

He looked at me for a second longer before a small smile broke across his face. "Thank you," he said simply, his smile still in place. I nodded towards the table, signaling him to sit down, and he did as I instructed. I placed his plate down in front of him along with a glass of orange juice, then sat down beside him.

He picked up his fork and stabbed it into a piece of the eggs that were on his plate. Bringing it up to his mouth and taking a bite, he moaned in satisfaction and closed his eyes. "It seems like it has been years since I have had actual homemade food," he said taking another bite. "I'm going to have to make you cook more often," he said, a small smirk playing around the edges of his mouth. I blushed - yes, I really blushed - at his complement and started on my own breakfast.

We finished breakfast in relative silence, with only the slight tings from the forks scraping against the plates and the crunch of eating bacon and toast. As we both finished up, Ryland stood and took both of our plates over to the sink, rinsed them and placed them in the dish washer. "So, how do you feel about the engagement party later today," he asked.

I was a little taken aback by his question. "Um, I don't know. I'm not exactly looking forward to it," I answered, honestly. I stared at his face gauging his reaction. "What about you?"

I watched him for a few minutes as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, his normal mask of indifference clearly in place. Normally, that wouldn't bother me, but after last night, I half expected things to be, I don't know, different. Once I realized that he wasn't going to give me an answer, I rolled my eyes and released a frustrated sigh, then stomped off to my bedroom.

Closing the door behind me, I pressed my back against it and slid down to the floor. I dropped my head into my hands and attempted to get a hold on all of the emotions spinning around in my head. Many of them, I couldn't honestly put a name to; they were things that I had never experienced, but the ones I could pin point, and were the strongest, were confusion and frustration.

Confused on whether I could actually be friends with Ryland or not. Half the time, he wears these masks and hides behind mostly-false indifference. I mean, I have only known the guy for about a week, but sometimes, when he lets his guard slip, I can see the real him. Like when he is asleep or when he smiles for real; he isn't cold like he has built himself up to be. And when he lets his guard slip, I like him. He is cool to be around, but when he slides that damned mask back into place, I don't know what to think.

Frustrated with Ryland, because, deep down, I want to like him. Hell, I'm marrying the guy! I'm going to have to deal with him for at least a year of my life and I would really like it not be like prison. Frustrated with myself because I don't know what these feelings are. I have never met a man that makes me want to pull all my hair out quite like him.

I groaned as I tried to make sense of all the crap going on in my head. I was just about ready to make good on my thought of pulling all my hair out, when I heard his bedroom door shut, and soon after, the shower cut on. Pulling myself up off of the floor, I walked back out of my bedroom and back into the living room, going straight for the baby grand at the back of the room.

Sitting down, I ran my fingers across the keys and started hitting them. Finally, I caught onto a tune, and slowly but surely words started to flow...

"I could show you now, but you're never gonna see. Cause you're watching me go up in smoke. I could shut it down, when I lose you're gonna leave. But you know that I'll fall out alone...

There's secrets that you know. And secrets that I hold."

I closed my eyes as I began to let myself get lost in the song; and it wasn't just the sound. I got lost in the feel of the music. The way the words flowed together and how they felt as they rolled off of my tongue.

"Take these tired wings Home is call you to sleep. Love so bittersweet. All the happy tears it brings. Winter wind will fly you back to me. Bittersweet...

I could feel the music as it almost ran through my veins and released all of the tension that I had let build up. It was almost like a high you get, but my choice of drug happened to be piano ballads.

"...I could tell you lies that I know you wanna hear, but the words would only build a wall. Gonna wash my hands 'til the river runs clear. As the years go by, we rise and fall.

Take these tired wings. Home is calling you to sleep. Love so bittersweet. All the happy tears it brings. Winter wind will fly you back to me. Bittersweet...

Falling through the cracks, never gonna see, never gonna see! It's not coming back not for anything, not for anything! I know what you need, telling me you're free, we go on... falling through the cracks never gonna see...

Take these tired wings. Home is calling you to sleep. Love so bittersweet. All the happy tears it brings. Winter wind will fly you back to me. Bittersweet...

Bittersweet..."

As I finished up the song, I dropped my hands from the keys and sat back from the piano. Taking a final deep breath, all the tension melted away. I stood up from the stool and went to walk back to my room, but stopped dead in my tracks as I saw Ryland leaned up against the wall with his arms cross, watching me. He was fully dressed in a pair of black dress pants and a light blue button up shirt with the sleeves pushed up to just underneath his elbows; his hair was now in his regular style.

"You're amazing," he said with a soft, half smile on his face.

"Thanks," I replied, blushing for the second time today, rubbing at the back of my neck.

Neither of us said anything for a few painfully awkward seconds before - by some miracle of God - Ryland broke the silence. "So, I guess you know that our engagement party starts at three, so we need to be there by 2:30 so my mother doesn't serve my head as the main entree," he said only half-jokingly. "If we want to get there by then, we need to leave in about an hour and a half. Should that be enough time for you?"

I nodded, "Yes that should be plenty." He simply nodded back at me and walked back towards his bedroom. I stared after him for a second, not really sure what to make of our small exchange. Eventually, I just pushed it to the back of my mind and went back into my bedroom; deciding that I didn't need a shower since I had taken one last night, I walked straight into my closet and started sifting through all of the dresses hanging there.

After a few minutes of looking, I still hadn't found anything that I liked - not that all of the clothes weren't very nice and no doubt, very expensive, just not for me. Just as I was starting to get frustrated, a light pink garment bag caught my eye. It was nestled behind the rest of the dresses with a tag hanging from it. Making my way over to it, I took it off the rack. Upon closer inspection, it wasn't a tag hanging from it, but a piece of folded stationary, hanging by a string from the hanger.

I untied the string and pulled the piece of paper off. Unfolding it, I recognized my mother's handwriting immediately;

Aurora,

Please wear this on the eve of your engagement dinner. I know you don't understand everything right now, but I promise it will all work out. I picked this dress especially for you - I know that you never did enjoy the "frilly" things. I love you, my dearest Rory.

Always,

Mother

I smiled to myself as I read the note that my mother had left me. I walked out of my closet and over to my bed. Lying the bag down on the mattress, I slowly unzipped the bag and pulled the dress out.

It was perfect. The dress was simple, black, and stopped at around mid-thigh. It had a modest neck line with a racer back. To anyone else, the dress would seem plain and nothing special, but that was exactly what I loved about it. I always loved the unassuming pieces as compared to the gaudy, flashy pieces that most girls tend to gravitate towards - especially for their own engagement party. But not me.

Happily, I stripped myself of my clothes and pulled the dress on; thankfully, it fit perfectly. Walking into the bathroom, I opened the drawer that housed all of the new makeup that had been bought for me upon moving in with Ryland. I went simple: a darker-nude smoky eye, mascara and a light pink lip stick that brought out my natural lip color. I ran a brush through my hair and added a few curls, but other than that, left my hair how it was. Finally, going back to my closet, I slipped on a pair of nude heels and a simple stainless steel - go figure - bracelet.

I looked at myself in the mirror one last time and let out a breath. I ran a hand through my hair and rustled it a bit, giving it a little more volume, then I was ready. Picking up my phone from the dresser, I checked the time; it was almost 1:45 so Ryland would be wanting to leave in about fifteen minutes.

I left my bedroom and went out into the living room. As I entered, Ryland had his back to me, speaking with someone on the phone. "No. That's my final answer," he snapped at the person on the other side of the phone. He ran his hand through his hair and paced around a bit. "She already hates me! I don't need her thinking that I am insane, too," he snapped again, but this time, he turned around and saw me standing there.

What he saw on my face, I have no clue, but it was enough for his face to pale, and then redden slightly. "I have to go," he said and then hung up the phone.

I was shocked to say the least. I could only assume that he was talking about me - and that is enough to shock me in itself - but who was he talking to? And besides that, he thinks I hate him? Do I hate him? No...

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out just what I was thinking, "You think I hate you?" I could almost feel my face getting redder and redder by the second. I cannot believe I just spouted that out.

"Well don't you," he asked me with a confused look on his face. "I mean, you don't even know me and you are forced to move into my house and marry me."

I looked at him a little confused, "No, I don't hate you. Do I despise this situation? Yes. Do you get on my nerves? So far, yes, quite frequently. But do I hate you? No," I said, honestly, looking him straight in the eyes.

He laughed slightly as he slid his phone back into his pocket and nodded towards the door, signaling that we should get going. "Well that's a relief," he said, half-jokingly, shaking his head with a small smile. And just for a second, I could see his guard slip down like it had last night, which - for whatever reason - made me smile.

We walked out of the apartment, down the hall to the elevator. Immediately, I tensed up and held my breath all the way until we reached the ground and the doors opened again. Relieved, I came out of the elevator and followed Ryland out to his car. Getting into the passenger side, I snapped my seatbelt in place and sat back.

After a few minutes, Ryland decided to break the silence. "Why are you so afraid of elevators," he asked casually, keeping his eyes on the road.

I was quiet for a minute as I thought about how to answer him, "I don't really know. I have never been fond of them; even as a kid I would hold onto my dad's leg and have him 'protect' me when I had to ride up and down at the office on the days that I would hang around or stay with him."

He nodded, but stayed quiet. Within about fifteen minutes, we pulled into the parking lot of a small building towards the edge of town. It was beautiful with a large green area with large trees and windows. As we got out, Ryland hooked his arm with mine and we walked inside. As we did, dread started to fill my stomach.

I had always hated events like this - especially when all of the attention was focused on me. I can perform on a stage, but parties are a whole other story. I could see my mom and dad, Ryland's parents and sister and a whole bunch of other people I had not the slightest clue who they were. Upon closer inspection, I did recognize a couple of my dad's business partners and some extended family of mine.

Still feeling tense, I let Ryland drag me through the crowd towards a bar placed in the back. Delicate glasses of champagne and red wine surrounded by trays of small pieces of cubed, fancy cheeses. Picking up to glasses of champagne, Ryland handed one to me and kept one for himself, "Here. We are going to need it," he said.

"Tell me about it," I said quietly to him.

He chuckled lightly, showing off a perfectly genuine smile. I couldn't help but to smile back as he lifted his glass, offing me a toast, "To making it through our engagement party." Clinking our glasses together, we each took a sip of the champagne. As we drank, a man that seemed about Ryland's age made his way towards us. Ryland noticeably tensed up, then downed the rest of his drink, sitting the glass down. "Hello, Axel," he said with a sigh and a bleak expression.

"Well, hello there, cuz-o! Trying to run from me, are we," he asked looking at Ryland expectantly. "Or," he said, snapping his eyes over to me, "You were trying to keep me from the delicate little flower on your arm here. Enchanter, mademoiselle! Vous etes absolument a' couper le soufflé," he purred in French.

I laughed at his blatant complement, shaking my head, "Merci beaucoup, monsieur," I replied, smoothly, shocking both Ryland and his cousin, whose name was, apparently, Axel. He was tall, about the same height as Ryland with slightly paler skin. His hair was a dark brown that matched his eyes, and his lips were full. He had a childish smile on his face that made him look handsome and youthful at the same time.

Axel raised his eyebrows, looking over to Ryland, "Oh, dear cousin. You failed to tell me on the phone of your fiancés impeccable French. But you did, however warn me over her striking beauty," he said, grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on it. "My name is Axel Steel. The better of the two of us," he said gesturing between himself and Ryland.

"That's enough, Ax," Ryland said, finally less tense, pulling me back and away from his cousin.

"Nice to meet you - "

"Rory girl you look hot!"

I was cut off by my best friend's voice, coming from behind me. I spun around happy to see her. Hayley was sporting a floor length sea foam green dress. Her hair was in slight curls and her make-up was natural - like she always does it. "Thanks Hayley," I said with a smile hugging her. When I pulled back, I saw her looking at Axel. "Hayley, this is Ryland's cousin, Axel. Axel, this is my best friend Hayley." He launched into the same introduction that he gave me - French and all - while Ryland pulled on my hand, letting us slip away from the two, who were talking animatedly now.

"I'm sorry about him," he said, rubbing at the back of his neck, looking somewhat nervous.

"Don't be," I said honestly, "He was really something."

He chuckled, "Yeah. He has been that way since we were kids. He's been my more like my brother my entire life."

I smiled at him. I'm not sure if he was noticing it at all, but he was opening up to me bit by bit. He was showing me true smiles, he was showing me some sort of emotion, and for whatever reason, it made me happy.

It wasn't long before both of our parents found us and ushered us towards our seats at the head of the table. It was beautifully lit by candles and flowers scattered around the table. Slowly but surely, people started making their way to their seats. After everyone was seated, Ryland and I's dads stood up to quiet everyone down and began to talk.

"Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate our children's engagement! But, while we are being served, we are going to hear a few things from the people who know Ryland and Aurora best," as if on cue, waiters began coming out of the back and bringing plates filled with Salisbury steak, mixed veggies and mashed potatoes, garnished with several different spices.

As our dads sat down, a soft spot light was pointed towards a small stage in the corner; on it, a stool and a mic stand. The first person to walk up onto the stage was Hayley. She took the mic off of the stand and took a seat on the stool. She looked around the room and settled her eyes on me. With a smile, she began.

"Well, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Hayley. Aurora Burke has been my best friend since the day that we shared our snack in the third grade," she said with a smile and a far away look. "She was the nicest bully that I had ever met." Everyone erupted into laughter and I blushed. "And I mean bully in the best way possible. She always stood up for me when I didn't have a voice for myself. She was the one holding my hand and eating ice cream with me when yet another boy broke my heart. I didn't get to return the favor much. She is the strongest girl I know, and through it all - the painful heart breaks, the grueling hours of studying for exams last minute in high school - she remained the rock that I needed to keep me steady. Even though you can be hot headed sometimes and stubborn and crazy, I love you." Tears were springing to my eyes at this point and I fought hard not to let them fall, although they did anyway. "And Ryland," she said shocking me, and him as well, "I don't know all that much about you, considering how fast you guy's...relationship moved, but I don't think I have ever seen a better match for my best friend. You take her little - well maybe not all that little - quips and somehow manage to get her places on time. That might not mean much to some, but if you truly know her, you know how hard that is." Again, she laughed and looked down, but this time when she looked up, there were tears in her eyes. "Take care of her, Ryland. She deserves it, and so do you."

With that, she put the mic back on the stand and walked off of the stage. Before she could get far, I was out of my seat and rushing over to her. I enveloped her into a hug. "Thank you," I whispered to her and hugged her tighter.

Hayley hugged me back, then pulled away, looking me straight in the eyes, "Rory, listen. I know that you hate the circumstances that this marriage was forced on you, but I meant what I said up there. You might not see it yet, but that man right there is going to be everything that you have been looking for in a man. Give him a chance," she said, and then nodded over to Ryland. As I did, his eyes shot away like he wasn't looking in the first place, but I knew better.

A small half smile made its way onto my face as I shook my head at his antics. I nodded at Hayley, then went back to my seat next to Ryland. Next to go up on the stage was Axel. Ryland groaned audibly and ran a hand down his face. I silently laughed, but watched the stage as Axel picked up mic.

"My dear cousin Ryland," he started, staring off into space with a smirk on his face. "Well, I just don't know where to start. First, how dare you swipe such a beautiful creature away from me before I even knew she existed," he questioned, playfully outraged. "But seriously, Ryland, you deserve to be happy, man. You are the closest thing that I have in this world to a brother and nothing makes me happier than seeing you happy. And to Miss Aurora, thank you for making my brother happier than I have seen him in a really long time." He sent a genuine smile towards me and Ryland. "Now, let's eat!"

Everyone applauded him as he stepped off of the stage and went back to his seat - which now that I look, was beside Hayley. As we all began eating, I couldn't help but to think back on everything that Hayley and even Axel had said. Could he really make me happy? Could I make him happy? It was true that he put up with me surprisingly well for someone who barely even knows me. But does that really mean that we are meant for each other? The fact was that I didn't know.

Before I knew it, music started to play and little by little, people started getting up and dancing with their husbands, wives and dates. I just sat and watched for a few songs until, suddenly, Ryland stood up and offered me his hand.

"Dance with me?" So shocked that I couldn't speak, I just nodded and took his hand.

He led me out into the center of the dance floor, placing his hands on my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Slowly, we started to sway back and forth to the sound of the song, gradually spinning around in a circle. Eventually, my eyes drifted up to his to find that he was already looking at me intently, and I was immediately entrapped.

So how about I be the last voice you hear tonight? And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are...

His eyes held so much in them; so many secrets that for some reason, I wanted to unlock. And it was beautiful. He was beautiful.

No I won't fill your mind with broken promises and wasted time. And if you fall, you'll

always land right in these arms. These arms of mine...

Don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me. Cause you might look around and

find your dreams come true with me. Spent all your time and your money just to find out

that my love was free. So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me, me. Not

such a bad thing to fall in love with me.

"It's not such a bad thing to fall in love with me," Ryland sang, looking into my eyes still. And as I looked back into his eyes, I started to believe it...