* abuse, suicidal thoughts *
After the twentieth lash I was completely numb to the pain of the whip. My back was ruined I just knew, beyond recognisable. I didn't cry though nor beg for mercy, I never begged for mercy.
I knew even if I were to survive this or the infections I'd most likely get afterwards I would never completely heal not physically and not emotionally or mentally.
I was facing away from Cadmer so I didn't see his awful face, I bet he was smiling. He would count loudly after each lash and sounded happier and happier after every one.
I don't even understand how one could be so heartless and psychotic. What makes a person become like that?
I had to keep thinking of something other than the lashes or the pain my body was trying desperately to fight.
I was tied to a pole
