Sincerely Yours, Fictional Character

Chapter 2: Get Lost!

I don’t want to fed up my emotions over there kaya napagpasiyahan kong lumabas ng apartment ko at pumunta sa malapit na coffee shop. It’s cold season in Spain so I double my jacket and put a red scarf around my neck. The bell rang thrice when I entered the coffee shop. The owner smiled and greeted me in Spanish, I half-smiled and put my things on the table, the usual spot where I stay, alone.

I don’t make acquaintances after what happened to one of my best friends, Isaiah. Siya ang nagpapatunay sa’kin na huwag magtiwala sa mga taong nandirito. I don’t want to repeat his mistakes. Mas dumagdag ang bigat sa dibdib ko habang inaalala ang sinapit ng best friend at. . . taong minahal ko noon.

Opening my laptop, I started to tap the keys on my laptop, however,  I couldn’t write. Ugh! Here we go again with the writer’s block. Nangyayari talaga ito pag wala ako sa mood o di kaya’y wala sa focus.

“Excuse me, pinoy ka?” tanong ng isang estranghero. Napatingin ako sa kaniya at binigyan siya ng ‘tinatanong pa ba yan?’ look. Napatikhim siya at humingi ng pasensiya sa’kin. Pagkatapos ay agad siyang pumunta ulit sa kaniyang seat. Weird.

Hindi ko na lang iyun pinansin at nagpatuloy sa pagta-type kahit lutang na luting ang utak ko ngayon. Napabuntung-hininga ako ng malalim at isinara ang aking laptop. Wala tong patutunguhan. Di bale na, matagal pa din naman ang pasahan sa editor ko.

I’m a writer in an overrated writing platform called ‘w*****d’.

There are over 80 million readers worldwide. I just stumbled upon it and started to post my story ‘Tales of Antagonist’ there. Hindi ko alam na magcli-click pala. It’s written in English so the market is big kasi international language. I just wanted to let it off, the feeling inside of me whenever I think about my life. Kung pwede lang isuntok itong maganda kong kamay sa pader para maibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko, ginawa ko na. But I didn’t.

I use a pseudonym so no one will know me. Basically, they didn’t know if the writer of that famous story is a girl or boy. As if it matter, yung quality naman ng story ang importante ng mga readers siguro. Or that’s what I thought.

“Everyone! Nandito si Inri!” Nabigla ako nang sumigaw iyung lalaki na kumausap sa’kin kanina at tinignan ako habang nakaturo iyong daliri sa’kin. I was taken aback of what he shouted so I didn’t move in my seat.

All eyes were on him. He’s full of confidence na nakaturo sa’kin habang malapad na nakangiti. O-Okay? Is he a psycho? May mga tao talagang walang magawa sa buhay, ano?

Napakamot siya sa kaniyang ulo at mukhang natutulirong nakatingin sa’kin. Uh-oh. What did he say again? Damn it, Sarach. He called your pseudonym! He called you Inri! Your pen name, you stupid human.

“I m-mean, Inri is here! The author of Tales of Antagonist? T-There! She’s there!” He shouted again and excitedly points a finger at me. Everyone was shock and the guy started to appear in front of my sight in a glimpse of seconds. “Ate, pinoy po ako! Pwede pa-autograph naman, oh? Idol talaga kita tas yung story mo,” sabi niya. Mararamdaman mong nanginginig siya hindi lang dahil sa kaniyang boses, pati na rin ang kaniyang binti na mukhang nangangatog na.

Darn it, sino na naman ang nag-leak ng picture at personal info ko? Jesus! This is my 8th coffee shop na tinakbuhan dahil nakilala ako ng mga tao.

The coffee shop became quiet and that’s my cue to run away. I immediately shoved my laptop and things to my backpack and swung it to my shoulder. “Pasayloa ko, dong,” bulong ko sa kanya at hilaw na napangisi. Pagkatapos ay agad akong tumakbo palabas ng coffee shop nang dali-daling pumunta sa’kin ang mga tao upang magpa-autograph.

Nang mapatingin ako sa coffee shop owner na mukhang kilala din ako, I smiled at her genuinely this time and said something. “I’ll pay the drink in my next life!” sigaw ko sa kanya at binuksan ang pintuan paaalis sa lugar na iyon.

Luckily, I was able to get away with those people. Darn it, noon, gustong-gusto ko ang atensiyon ng mga tao pero nang naranasan ko na ang feeling ng mga artista, ayoko na. Because it’s f*****g tiring to run all day and disguise yourself. Plus the caps and mask, that’s your sword in order to protect yourself from enemy. Wait, did I just call my fans ‘enemy’? Whatever. Get a good grip of yourself, Sarah. Pinasok mo ang industriyang iyan.

Humahangos akong napaupo sa isang bench. Napasalampak ako doon at tinignan ang madilim na kalangitan. During winter season, you’ll never know that it’s only past 5:00 in the evening because of its dark skies. I like this season lalong lalo na’t sasabayan mo ito ng kape at pagsusulat. That would be perfect, without worrying anything from the past.

Dinukot ko ang aking cellphone sa loob ng makapal kong jacket at napabuga ng hangin. I saw a white thin air because of the humidity. I think it’s below -10 degrees ngayon. “Hello, Miss Maria,” I said in a most-annoyed voice. “You must be tired from running, Miss Espiñosa,” she answered. I rolled my eyes, alam na alam na niya kung bakit ako tatawag sa kaniya. “Who leaked my personal info this time?” galit kong sabi sa kanya. “It’s your duty to protect my privacy. That’s just a small work, why can’t you do it?” dagdag ko pa.

I heard her sighed in the other line. “It’s – “

Naputol ang sasabihin niya nang may biglang tumawag sa’kin galing sa isang unknown number. “Don’t hang up yet,” I warned to Miss Maria.

Who the hell is this unknown number? Don’t tell me this from another fan again. Paulit-ulit na lang akong bumibili ng bagong sim dahil dito. I wasn’t able to decline the call because I accidentally press the wrong key. And it was to answer the call.

Hindi ako nagsalita at hinayaang magsalita ang caller pero makalipas ang ilang segundo ay hindi ito nagsalita. What? Is this another prank again. I was about to end the call when the caller spoke . . . and  I know that voice very well.

It was from the person whom I didn’t want to talk to.

“Sarah…” he whispered that sent chills to my spine.

“Archibald…” bulong ko nang wala sa sarili. Gustong-gusto kong magalit at mag-throw ng tantrums sa kanya kagaya ng dati pero hindi ko na magawa ngayon. We all grew up and have our own path that we’ve chose. Naalala ko pa noon kung paano niya sinabi sa’kin na he will protect me and my family at all cost. That he will not turn his back at us. But he just did… or that’s what I thought.

“Kamusta?” tanong niya sa kabilang linya. Napabuga ako ng hangin dahil hindi ako makapaniwala. Pagkatapos ng ibinalita niya sa’kin noon, iyan lang ang sasabihin niya sa’kin ngayon? You’re such an unbelievable man, Inspector.

“Kung sasabihin ko sa’yong gusto ko nang mamatay ngayon, pupuntahan mo ba ako dito sa Spain upang iligtas ako?” tanong ko sa kaniya sa isang monotonong boses, walang halong malisya. Hindi siya makapagsalita ng ilang minuto. Narinig ko lamang sa kabilang linya ang malalim niyang buntong-hininga.

“Sarah, don’t be a kid anymore,” ang tangi niyang sagot sa banta ko.

I smirked. “You’re still like this. Don’t do that anymore. Wala na yung Papa ko so you don’t need to act like a f*****g person who really cares for me.”

“I always care for you… with or without your father.” He said something again that leave me hanging. Hindi ko maiwasang masaktan pero at the same time makaramdam ng konting kasiyahan ngayon. All my life, living in this country, I always feel like I’m suffocated. I couldn’t breathe but could breathe air. Isn’t it ironic?

“Stop it please…” bulong ko sa kanya. “Stop mentioning my father…” patuloy ko. Just by mentioning his name, naalala ko na naman ang mga bagay na dapat ginawa ko sana noong buhay pa siya, mga bagay na ikinakahiya kong ginawa at mga bagay na pinagsisihan kong ginawa.

“Are you crying?” He asked in the line.

“I’m not,” matigas kong sabi habang patuloy na dumadausdos ang luha sa mukha ko.

“Liar.”

Hindi ako sumagot sa kanya at nag-focus na pigilan ang paghikbi ko. “Why did you call?” tanong ko matapos ang ilang segundong katahimikan. “I bet you didn’t call just to tell me I’m a liar,” dagdag ko pa.

Hindi siya sumagot. It looks like he’s anticipating to tell me or not. Last time he act like this was the time where he told me the news that my whole clan died.

“Inspector Archibald? Pwede na ba akong pumunta diyan sa Pilipinas? I need to go to my father’s funeral at least! To my mother! Or to my relatives!” sigaw ko sa telepono nang tumawag si Inspector Archibald. He left me alone in Spain upang puntahan at tingnan kung ano ang nangyari sa pamilya ko. He was the one who handle the case. The investigation takes time, kapag nag-uusap kami sa telepono ay palaging kaso ng pamilya ko ang pinag-uusapan naming kung may progress na ba o wala. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang tagal ng imbestigasyon. I have this feeling na parang may tinatago si Inspector Archibald sa’kin kapag tinatanong ko kung may main suspect na ba o wala.

“Sarah…” sabi niya.

“Oh?” sagot ko kaagad. Hindi ko mapigilang kagatin ang kuko ko.

“Nalaman na namin kung sino ang pumatay sa pamilya mo.”

Nanlaki ang mata ko at napasigaw. “Talaga?!”

“Oo,” sabi niya na mukhang wala sa sarili.

“Bakit… parang hindi ka masaya?” tanong ko sa kanya na may halong pagdududa. It’s not that I’m happy about my family’s and relative’s death. I am just happy that finally, they can now rest in peace. Makakamit na din namin ang hustisya sa kamatayan nila.

“It’s the Lopez family,” sagot niya.

“L-Lopez? Be specific, sino sa mga Lopez?” Nanlumo ako nang may mapagtanto.  No, don’t tell me it’s not the Lopez I was thinking.

“Anthon Lopez, the senate president who were aiming for President’s candidacy this upcoming election,” sagot ni Inspector Archibald na humugot sa hininga ko. Mabilis pa sa takbo ng kabayo ang pintig ng puso ko ngayon. Kung ganon…

“What’s their motive?” bulong kong tanong kay Inspector Archibald.

Hindi siya sumagot kaya napasigaw na ako, “Sabihin mo sa’kin! What’s their motive? Bakit nila pinatay ang pamilya ko?!”

“It’s because he’s one of the politician whom you criticized in one of your news article before.”

“W-What…” hindi makapaniwalang bulong ko. Dahil lang sa isang article na isinulat ko para ibunyag ang totoong ugali ng senador na iyon ay pinatay niya na ang pamilya at buong angkan ko? Ang tanging nasa isip ko ngayon ay gusto kong… pumatay… ng tao… dahil sa isang walang kwentang rason.

“Are you okay?” mahinahong tanong ni Inspector Archibald sa’kin.

“I’m not. So what was the result of the investigation?”

“I’m sorry… “

“f*****g bastardo! Why are you sorry?” sigaw ko sa kanya.

“I did my best.”

“You…” I bited my lip to prevent from crying.

“I’m sorry. I tried, Sarah. I did my best to use my profession as law officer but the suspect isn’t the person whom I should – “

“You tried, but you failed,” bulong ko sa sarili.

“Don’t hang up ple-“

“Get lost.” Huli kong sabi sa kanya bago in-end ang tawag. Napaluhod nalang ako sa sahig at napatingin sa picture ng Papa at pamilya ko sa ibabaw ng altar. Halos hindi na ako makahinga kakaiyak doon habang inaalala ang huling sandali bago ako umalis sa Pilipinas. Ako dapat iyung mamatay doon, eh. Kung sineryoso ko sana ang mga death threats na natanggap ko noon ay hindi na sana humantong ito sa ganito.