All that you deserve

Sunday Dinner {part1}

Katlyn 

 I thought I knew what it felt like to be at home, to be around family. I guess I was wrong. Jamison picked me up at my apartment around six the next morning and we drove to his mother's house in comfortable silence. I was a little hesitant about attending this dinner at his mother’s house, but Jamison has done so much for me in the short time that I have known him and me attending this dinner seem to me so much to him . So here I am an hour later sitting at the kitchen counter peeling vegetables with his mother.

 Caroline,Jamison's mother, was warm and welcoming as her name. Her home smells like apple pie and cinnamon, surrounded with memories of Jamison childhood and achievements. She welcomed me with an open heart and a warm huge; my eyes instantly filled with tears. She was so motherly and being with her made me realize that my mother, for what it’s worth, never loved  me and that hurt…. It hurts a lot. Jamison must have realized the change in my demeanor, because he pulled me to his side and kissed my temple which caused me to stiffen not expecting his display play of affection. He pulled me closer, kissed me again in the same spot and said, “ I got you.. you are going to be ok.”

I relaxed a bit into his embrace and smiled at his mother handing her the wine I bought for her.

“ you didn’t have to get anything honey but thank you.” She said, taking the bottle.

“ you are welcome.” I said smiling.

“Jamison the guys will be here in a few… you can set up the grill. and honey you can have a seat in the kitchen so we can chat.”

“ I would  rather help you?”

“ you are our guest you do n…..”

“ No I would feel more at home… if I help.. after all my mom said cooking is my only redeeming quality.”

I felt Jamison tense beside me when I said that, his hands pull me in even closer and he placed me gently kissed on my temple and said, “ she must be blind then because you are everything and so much more.”

He entangled himself from my side and  grabbed my hands leading to the kitchen.

“ I am going to start the grill… I will be right outside… if you want to help … help if not you can come keep my company outside.” He said, giving me one of his trademark smiles.

“ Son..  You can go a moment without her.. leave her be and go.” his mom answered for me has she  entered the kitchen. She placed a kiss on his cheek  and pushed him towards the back door. Before he walked outside, Jamison turned around and smiled at me. A smiled that made me feel so comforted, so protected, so wanted…. 

I spent the next hour helping his mom in the kitchen  and getting familiar with each other.Jamison and his mother made me feel things that I thought I already experienced, but I am starting to realize that at all that I thought I had was just wish full thinking. My life before them pealed in comparison and that scares me because  when he leaves me I am going to be beyond broken.