All that you deserve

Let Me In

Katyln 

I woke to the sound of my phone ringing, a part of me wished it was Kevin apologize, but deep down I knew it wasn’t. 

“Kat… what’s wrong… are you hurt….? Where are you?.” I heard the voice that has been hunting me since that day at the hospital. My heart skipped a beat and contracted… I can’t believe he called… I felt happy and sad at the same time. Not believing it was him I asked who it was, responded and said, “it’s Jamison.” I don’t know why but when I heard his name every emotion I have been holding in since … since forever came rushing out. I remember saying hi and hearing him say he will be there soon. I didn’t have time to think about how he got my number and address because I couldn’t breathe. I felt exhausted, weak, tired, and I just felt like I lost. Probably I should just go, who will miss me? I have nobody. Then I heard Jamison saying I am coming, and with just that sentence I felt a ting of hope pierce my chest. 

I sat on my living room floor staring out into space for the longest. Then, I started to remember everything Kevin said to me. He was all I have, he was my rock, my only family. I thought I meant something to him, but the moment he is about to lose the company he became like them. He is like them. “You are the selfish one……” I keep hearing his word over and over. My body starts shaking with sobs and my breathing is getting labored again. I am about to pass out again…. 

“Kat?!” I heard my name followed by a knock. I try to answer, but am too busy trying to breathe.

“Kat, babe opening the door for me” I heard him say.

I want to be so bad, I want to get up and answer that door, I want to open it for him, but am stuck… crippled by my fear. I will myself say something… to move, but I can’t…. am stuck.

“Kat… babe let me help you… let me in please.” He pleaded.

“J-Jamison” I finally strutted.

“Yes it’s me babe… I know  you're hurting but you have helped me get in … open the door.” He replied and I felt he meant something more with that statement.

I started crawling towards the door.

“Come on babe am right here.. open for me… am here.” He said encouraging me.

I stood up on a trembling leg and reached for the door. I took a deep breath and pull the door open, and I wasn’t ready for the emotions that hit me after seeing his concern face, i wasn’t ready for the pull I felt towards him, I wasn’t ready for my heart to pound, I was ready for the sense of relief; because I wasn’t ready to believe he was my breath of fresh air.

Jamison 

 “Babe..” I whispered when I saw her.

She was barely breathing, I took a step inside her apartment with open arms. She hesitated and looked at me like she was questioning my motives. I didn’t even know my motives, but I felt a deep seated need to comfort her to make her happy and take away her pain.

“Come..” I demanded gently and took a step closer to her. She took the step that finally fused our future, the step that she needed… that I needed. Once she embraced me I felt her shaking in my arms and her sobs broke my heart. Each tear pulled at my heart, and I knew at this moment that I would give anything to protect her.

“I’m just tired.” 

That’s all she said and I felt that.. I felt that and I want to take her burden.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I whispered, hugging her tighter. 

She shook her head no. I took a deep breath and inhaled her scent and it calmed me and even though she is broken right now, her calming scent told me it would be fine… the journey won’t be easy,but it would be fine.

“That’s ok… we can talk whenever you are ready. Did you eat?” 

She shook her head. 

“ Let me order something for you to eat and draw you a bath… where is your bathroom?” I asked.

She pulled away from me and stared in my eye, I held my breath hoping like hell she would accept me. She continued to stare at me, reading me; as I was about to say something she took a deep breath and turned away. I stood there for a moment, then followed her to the bathroom. I entered and I saw her sitting on the close toilet staring at the wall. Wordlessly, I turned on the pipes and filled her bathtub.

Kneeling in front of her, I placed my hands on the side of her face and turned her head to look at me. She slowly looked at me, and weakly smiled.

“Hi...” she whispered.

“Hi….” I replied with a smile. She was silent for a moment staring at me.

“Take a shower ok.. then eat… then I think you need to take a nap.” I started looking at her.

She looked at me and  I saw a moment of panic flash in her eye. She started standing up swaying a little and breathed out, “ I have to get to work.” 

I stood with her putting my hands back on her face turning her to look at me, “ you are in no position to go to work… I will call and tell them you aren’t feeling well.” I told her 

She shook her head and opened up her mouth to say something, but I cut her off, “ I will take care of it…”  she looked at me and gave a weak ok.

I gave her a huge and walked out the bathroom and closed the door moments later. I heard the splashing of water, I moved toward her kitchen and ordered breakfast from a local diner. Then I called her work place and spoke to her manager, he was surprised to get a call from me concerning Katyln, but in the end he agreed to give her a couple days off with pay; using my influence … something I don’t normally do. 

I then dialed my mom. “ Hey mom..” I sighed 

“Dumpling… what’s wrong?” She worried 

“ I am in Katyln’s apartment… she is … she is not fine mom.. she won’t talk, but I can tell she needs to… I just want to help her tell me how to help her…??” I rushed out.

“Oo… son… you are helping her by being there she will speak soon… you met her once…  I’m not even gonna ask how you got her personal info… but whatever u did… you just committed to something that won’t be easy. The first time I met her I could tell she had a lot going on, that she was not going to be easily trusting.. but I also saw that she needed someone. Someone that is patient… son it won’t be easy, but nothing that is worth it comes easy. You said you know she is the one from the moment you saw her . She doesn’t know that. Listen and be patient… listen even when she is not even talking.” She said. 

“ I will mom… it’s hard.. I don’t even know her… but I can’t stand to see her that way....” I said.

“Bring her to family dinner tomorrow…” she said

“I will try to convince her… I will talk to you later mom” he said and ended the call.

I want her to talk to me so I can help her fix it. I want her to know that I am here. She doe know me yet, but I’m here. I know soon we are going to have a discussion about how I found her and I pray she doesn’t get freaked out and shut me out. She is in shock right now, that is the only reason why she is taking the help I am offering. 

Whoever hurt her we have to answer to me, but I really hope she will allow me to be there for her. 

** Shout out to Marshal Eberg!!