First Time Ever

First Kiss

Chapter-11

First Kiss

That was not possible, it couldn’t have happened. I couldn’t kiss him, I didn’t.

But then again I couldn’t dance either and both Lita and Bran confirmed that I was dancing, “more like grinding into him,” Lita had told me, although I didn’t know what exactly that meant but it couldn’t be good.

And not to forget I got drunk. “What were you thinking Haya!” scolding myself, I almost walked right into the door.

“Watch it,” someone called.

“Yeah sorry,” I called back, least bit interested. I had spent the entire night and the entire day trying to remember if what he said was true but I still had nothing. Even my professors caught me dozing off during the lectures and boy was that insulting.

“Today’s just not my day,” I knew I had to talk to Keith about this whole thing but it felt weird and awkward.

He said we were in the car when I umm…did it, which was of no help because Lita and Bran have come after us so we were alone in the damn car.

Whether he was lying, hence remained a mystery.

But why would he lie about something like that, I mean what could he possibly gain?

“Oh God! This whole situation was driving me nuts!

“You okay?” Lita asked as I walked in.

“Just headache,” well I did have a headache.

“Hangover?” she asked offering me an apple.

It wasn’t a hangover, it was a damn jerk, “I don’t know.”

“So how was your first experience with booze?” she bit into her apple

“Not enjoyable,” I said, taking a bite of my own.

“Come-on India it wasn’t that bad, I mean you were shouting, giggling and calling random guys sexy.”

“I spit the apple, “What?”

“Oh I didn’t tell you? There was this guy sitting in the booth next to us, he was kinda cute. When Keith refused to dance with you, you were like, Hey sexy wanna dance?”

This was embarrassing.

“And you didn’t stop me?” what kind of a friend was she?

“You told me not to order you around,” she looked hurt

Groaning I got up and came to my room. Really I made an i***t out of myself, in front of everyone.

Well it was past seven, almost time for my evening prayer, “Now might be the time to repent for my mistakes.”

I was halfway with the Namaaz when the door opened, “Hey Ind…..,” Lita wanted to say something but stopped mid sentence, I could feel her stand there a few seconds and then she was gone, locking the door behind her.

She was back twenty minutes later, “What were you doing?” well someone was in a bad mood.

“Huh?” what exactly was she referring to?

“Before, when I came in,” she pointed to the spot I had been occupying on the floor.

“Offering my evening prayer,” why was she acting so mean all of a sudden?

“But….like that? You were, you….were doing it like….”

“Like a Muslim?” I completed for her, understanding why she seem so off.

“What do you expect? After all I am a Muslim,” well I didn’t know what else to say to her. Is something wrong with my religion?

Suddenly I remembered the first day I’ve been here, the way the airport security treated me, as if, as if……..I was some sort of criminal. They searched through my luggage expecting to find a bomb or something.

I knew it was all security measures and I didn’t mind them as much, they had the responsibility of an entire country on their shoulders but it had hurt.

Just a certain religion, just a certain name made a potential threat for a country? I was held back while my fellow passengers were gladly on their way out.

I remembered how hard it had been to find a house, people were not willing to rent their homes to me because they were doubtful of me, what if I was planning on blowing up their homes? Had it not been for the one of my professors at the University I might still be in some hotel.

“You’re? You can’t be! I mean,” she paced around the room pulling on her hair, “okay, okay,” halting, she looked at me, “Listen carefully India" ,she rushed to me intending to place her hands on my shoulders but then decided against it.

That hurt.

“Whatever you do, don’t ever let Keith find out about this, okay?” she talked to me as if I was a child.

“Why?” why specifically Keith?

“Just, just do it.”

“Fine!” I was sick of it, sick of being treated like a terrorist.

“India,” she tried.

“Don’t Lita!” she was my friend or at least I thought she was, turning away from her I ran to the bathroom. I had some crying to do alone.

Dinner was well awkward, Rose had been gone for days, Peter came in yesterday and went out again in the noon after asking how I was feeling, Bran was visiting his cousin.

That left me with Keith and Lita. I didn’t want to talk to either of them, for different reasons of course.

He kept stealing glances at me while she acted as if I wasn’t there. The air was tense between the three of us to say the least so even though I was hungry, leaving the dining table seem to be the best option.

I missed my family terribly and wanted to call home but thought better of it, my mother could always tell when I was sad and it always worried her. The last thing I wanted was to worry her sick.

It was at times like this that I hated applying for the scholarship in U.S. India would have been much better.

“You okay?” somebody came up the stairs.

“Not really,” I turned around to see Peter, “When did you get back?”

“About the same time you left the dining table in a bad mood,” he replied sitting on the bench, "knew you’d come here.”

“Regret showing me up here?”

“Nope, not at all.”

At least somebody was still being nice to me.

“Want to talk about it?”

Was he for real? Well I wanted to talk about it but with Peter? We barely knew each other, how many times have we even talked, three maybe four?

But I couldn’t deny that there was something calming about him, it made me want to trust him, made me want to share my secrets with him, made me want to befriend him. After my little rendezvous with Lita, that place was left vacant.

“I am Muslim,” that came out before I can think.

He was silent for a few moments and I feared that his reaction might be like hers but then shaking his head he said, “So?”

Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I nearly hugged him, nearly, “Might as well tell you, can never be sure who don't want me around after knowing that.”

“No matter what your religion is, it doesn’t change what you are as a person. Your religion doesn’t define you, your actions do.”

Wow I really liked this dude.

“You know I might fall in love with you right now,” I muttered, ashamed of saying that out loud.

“You might not regret it, am a decent bloke,” he smiled. Now that he rarely did.

“Lita’s behaving strange, warned me not to tell Keith,” it was funny how easily I was willing to trust him.

“I guess that’ll be a good idea, Keith’s got a thing against you fellas.”

“Why?” now that could be a problem.

“Don’t know. We’re not that close,” he turned to sit facing me, “But a lie cannot stand forever.”

That was true.

“Well let’s wait for the right time then.”

“Will do,” he stood up, “I am starving, want to join?”

The thought of going back down itself killed my appetite, “No.”

He shrugged, “Okay.”

“Peter!” I called as he turned around, an insane idea making home in my head.

“Yes?” standing up I walked to him and looked him in the eye, they were grey, metal grey and beautiful. He was whiter than Keith, which was expected because of his British descent.

Inching closer and gulping down the lump in my throat I placed my hands on his chest and felt him suck air. Okay I can do this!

My heart was throbbing in my chest, my mouth almost parched, my knees were shaking uncontrollably. Slowly bringing my face closer to his, I had every intention of kissing him on the lips but as our noses touched, I realized I couldn’t and ended up pecking him on the cheek, “Thank you,” my voice was hoarse.

He stood there, stunned for a few seconds, “Umm….it’s alright. I should…..I should be going,” and then he nearly ran down the stairs.

What the hell was I thinking! Groaning I sat back down and then it hit me.

Following Peter’s example, I nearly flew down the stairs and into Keith’s room, “You liar!” throwing open his door, I demanded.

“India there’s a little something called knock knock,” he was sitting on the couch reading some book.

“Keith Night you are such a mean trickster!” and the door was slammed shut.

“Oh! What did I do to deserve such title?” he asked, least bit interested.

“Am gonna break your nose,” I charged at him. How dare he! How dare he tell such a wretched lie! And then act so cool!

“Whoa!” he got off, just in time to avoid an incoming punch. Catching my wrist, he stated, “Easy now.”

“Easy!” how can he be so calm! Damn him, “how can I be easy? You told me I kissed you! Kissed you!” I was livid, lying was one thing but lie such as that was downright mean, “Do you have any idea what it did to me?”

“Yeah, kind of,” he held on, keeping me in place, “You didn’t talk to me, avoided me like a plaque, hell you didn’t even look me in the eye!”

“What else were you expecting? That I would come running into your arms?” I was calming down a little.

“Don’t know but never would have taken you to be the chicken.”

“I am not a chicken!” I protested.

“Well you behaved like one.”

The only thing I could do was grunt.

“What made you think I was lying?” now that was the million dollar question, one that I wasn’t willing to answer.

“Because you were,” excepting the truth would be just embarrassing.

“As I’ve said India, you’re bad at lying.”

“You’re not!”

A slow, sly smile made its way to his lips and in that moment I knew he realized, he always did, no matter how hard I tried.

“You’ve never kissed before, you don’t know how to kiss,” now he was making fun of me.

“No I don’t,” denying would get me nowhere, not with him.

“You should’ve said so.”

Now he was being cocky, “Shut up.”

That smile widened, “I could teach you.”

Yeah why not! He cou…..wait what?

Okay now I was blushing, “you were watching my lips quite intently the other night,” yup blushing hard.

“Y…you are lying,” when was the last time I found talking so hard? Why was my heart beating like that.

“Am I now?” he teased pulling me into him, “You remember it India, I know you do.”

Unfortunately I did but I was not going to accept it, Never!

“Alcohol….it can make,” God why was I feeling like this? All ready to faint? “…..it can make you think stupid things.”

“Nope,” I felt him breathe and realized he was far too close. Afraid to look at him, I looked at his shoes, “It only makes you do things you wouldn’t otherwise because you are too proud, too conserved, too opinionated.”

Hooking two fingers under my chin, he made me look up, into his eyes, “You wanted to kiss me India, wanted to feel my lips against yours.”

“Y…yes,” he would know even if I lied.

“Then what’s stopping you?” his eyes bore into mine, challenging me, seducing me. My heart was going wild, his closeness knocked the wind out of my lungs.

“How can you be so…”

“Straightforward?” he completed for me.

“Yeah, straightforward.”

“Life teaches you things India,” in that moment I saw a different Keith, I saw a wise but broken man who has seen life in all its naked reality, the man knew what it life meant because he has been carved by the brutalities of life. And it made me wonder what was his story? What was he keeping a secret?

“I guess it does.”

“Then let’s add one more lesson to your experience,” and that man was gone, just like that.

“But…but…but..,” I can’t just kiss him! I wanted to but no, I didn’t want to.

“Shh…,” he placed his finger on my lips and my heart literally stopped. How do people kiss? What was the placement of their lips with respect to each other? What do I do once our lips met? Wha…. Damn it! I didn’t want to kiss him!

“Just follow my lead.”

“Hey stop th… ,” and then I felt him place his lower lip in between both mine, then he kissed lightly. His lips were soft, light and tasted….good.

“See that’s not hard,” he said, pulling back a little.

“But….,” again, this time his upper one was in between my lips. I expected him to pull back like the last time but he nibbled on my lip making my knees give under me.

“Whoa!” he caught me just in time.

“I feel light,” I could’ve sworn I was blushing fifty shades of red right now.

“That’s just the beginning,” he smirked. That would make hundred shades of red.

“Be…g…,” only incoherent words came out of my mouth.

“Yup beginning because you kiss me back,” then he was back to business, this time angling our faces for better positioning, “Go ahead, do it,” he whispered against my lips.

‘Can’t believe am doing this,’ I tried to kiss him back, it sucked obviously but hey I tried. Even it was more like a duck pecking you with its beak.

“You have potential, I can tell.”

“Son of a b***h,” I muttered. Thanks to Lita I was now acquainted with a string of words like these.

“What?” he was clearly enjoying this.

“Let’s do it again,” Again! Was he nuts? What did he think we were doing? I must be crazy to be getting along with this.

“And this time India let go, remember you wanted this, who knows if you get another chance to ever kiss me.”

He was right I wanted it, closing my eyes I took a deep breath. And this time when his lips touched mine, something sparked and I don’t know what possessed me but I was kissing him back like my life depended on it.

When we tore apart, we were both short of air and had swollen lips.

“See, told ya, you’ve got potential, lots of it,” he licked his lips and suddenly I realized that I was kissing him!

God what have I done!

With that realization I was on my feet and out of his door while he called after me.

I can’t believe this. What on earth was I thinking? This wasn’t me! I don’t drink, I don’t grind into people, I don’t kiss.

What was I doing? What if, what if he was just playing with me? What if it was only me who had genuine feelings for him? I didn't want to get hurt, I wouldn't be able to handle that.

More importantly my parents would never approve of this. They've sent me here to study even going as far as selling our house for the money for my fee and other expenses.

And that was the first time I realized I was betraying my parent's dreams.