Those Violet Eyes

Making it work

Everly

I'm sitting on my bed when I hear the doorbell ring, followed by lots of loud knocking on the front door. I know I have to get up and open the door, but everything right now is hard work. I’m just a few weeks away from my due date and feel like I'm the size of a house. I've given up wearing shoes with laces, I can't see my feet right now let alone reach them to tie laces. As I roll myself off the bed, I slip my feet into my favourite pair of slippers and make my way out to the front door. My new house is tiny, still it's perfect for me and baby when he or she arrives. I still pinch myself that this is my house and it's actually finished, the builder's Aunt Lily hired were amazing. Even when my three interior designers all turned up and had crazy different ideas, I won’t name, names, Charlotte, Lexie and Ashlyn!  

I have only just moved in a week ago and still had lots of boxes to unpack and sort. Ashlyn had promised to come over to help, that should be her at the door now. My friends have all been amazing the last nine months. Coming with me to scans, driving me to get fast food at crazy times at night when I "needed" something, but didn't know what I wanted. Holding my hair when I was sick and hugging me when it all felt like too much. I know there is no way I would have got through it without them. With my hand resting on my tummy, I quietly talk to the baby. 

"We better go let Aunty Ash in before she breaks the door down, little one" I can feel gentle movements under my hand and it warms my heart. Slowly I make my way to the door. I laugh out loud as I see four faces peeking through the glass. 

"You are so lucky lady, I was about to break this door down!" Lexie yells through the closed door, giving me the side-eye through the glass. 

"I was even going to help her" That was Lee, he has been so wonderful. I envy Lexie and Lee, as much as they fight it would be wonderful to have a sibling to share things with. 

"I'm coming, hold your horses. Let me waddle my way there would you" I call back to them. I have barely turned the lock and all four of them are inside. Asking the usual twenty questions. "Have I eaten enough?" "When was the last time I drank some water?" "Is the baby moving enough?" "have I had enough sleep?" 

I don't answer any of their questions, they don't believe my answers anyway. So now I just roll my eyes and walk back into the sitting room. Climbing into my favourite chair. I really do feel tired now. Charlotte comes and sits on the sofa next to me. She leans over putting her hands on my tummy. She silently sits there with her eyes closed. Then all of a sudden, her face lights up with a big smile as she feels the baby move. If it was anyone else it might be weird, but this is how Charlotte shows love, by touching and hugging. 

"I love that feeling so much. I can't wait till it's my turn" She looks lovingly at my baby bump. 

"How are things going with you and Dan?" I ask her. She sighs  

"He hasn't asked me to marry him yet" She pouts, she is so cute when she does it, and she knows it. I actually laugh out loud. 

"You have only been together for six months, don't you think it's a bit soon for marriage?" I try to hold in another laugh. 

"You got a baby on the first night" She slams her hand over her mouth and looks at me with big eyes. Her words stung, anything that reminds me of Arwen does. I had tried for months to find him, he was gone without a trace. I held my hands on the sides of my tummy trying to hold back a tear, I looked at her. I could see she didn't mean to hurt me, her other hand still resting on the top of my stomach. 

"I'm so sorry I..." She started but I just waved one of my hands at her. 

"It's ok, I know you didn't mean it like that" I give her a sad smile, taking her hand in mine. 

"When it's your turn, you're going to be amazing" I give her hand a squeeze.  Ashlyn and Lee walk into the room holding a box each. 

"Eva where do you want these?” Ash askes lifting the box in her hand a little. 

"Your one goes in my room, and Lees one goes in babies' room” I direct them where to go.  

The rest of the afternoon is full of laugher and banter between us all as we unpack the last of my stuff.  

"What do you feel like for dinner,” Lexie asks flopping down onto the sofa after taking the last empty box out to the shed. 

"Please nothing crazy weird again” Charlotte groans  

"There is nothing weird about banana and chicken pizza" I roll my eyes 

"Yes, there is!” They all complain at once. I laugh so hard it hurts a little. I quickly put my hands on my stomach and they all jump up from where they are sitting. Looking at me like I'm a time bomb about to go off. I roll my eyes at them all. 

"Don't do that to us” Lee cries the colour starting to come back to his face as he sits back down. 

"I don't know why you are all so jumpy it's going to happen any day now, it's not like you guys have to do anything other than getting here. I'm not going to the hospital” I tell them for the tenth time. 

"Why don't you want to go to the hospital? What if something goes wrong?” Ash looks worried as she asks. 

"Nothing will go wrong! I don't know why I don't want to go to the hospital, it just doesn't feel right to go there for me. I don't have anything against it, I just want to be here. Plus, you guys will all be here right so if anything does go wrong it's not like I'll be alone. I shrug my shoulders. I had told them my birthing plan right from the start, they support me but this is the first time for all of them as well, it's only right that they are a bit nervous. 

"When it's my turn, I'm going to the hospital and having all the drugs" Lexie declares with a look of terror on her face. 

"You'll have to find a guy to put up with you long enough to have a baby with” Lee laughs right before Lexie punches him in the arm. We all laugh at them. 

"So, are we getting banana and chicken pizzas then?” I grin, they all groan. 

After everyone has gone and I'm about to head to bed there is a knock on the door. It takes me a few minutes to shuffle down the hall and open the front door, it’s Aunt Lily with a box in her hands. 

"Sorry Aunty I thought we had got them all,” I say, moving so she can come in 

"You did, this is an extra one,” She says as she settles the box on the coffee table and sits on the sofa. 

"This one was your mothers. It has some of your newborn clothes in it, but it's mostly her stuff” She looks up at me with a tear in her eye. I can't touch it. I have been without anything from my parents my whole life that it feels weird to have something of my mother's right in front of me. I reach out but just can't do it. Pulling my hand back, I twist my fingers together nervously. 

"You don't have to open it now. Do it when you're ready" Aunt Lily said softly looking at the box.  

"Thank you” Is all I can manage right now. We sit together in silence for a minute. 

"I'll let you get some rest now, I'll see you in the morning?” Aunt Lily stands up and kisses me on my forehead. I walk her back out again and hug her tightly before she goes. As I walk back through the hall, I stop to look into the sitting room at the box on the coffee table. I will open it tomorrow I tell myself before heading to bed. 

I wake up with the sun beating down on my face, warming me to my core. I slowly look around to find I'm lying in the centre of a large grassy meadow. There are birds flying overhead singing as they go. A gentle breeze washes over me, it smells of wildflowers, cooling my skin from the sun.  I feel at peace. It is then I look to my left and find Arwen asleep next to me, my heart leaps for joy.  His forest green hair shining in the bright sun, I don’t know how I ever mistook it for black when I first met him. His eyes were closed hiding the colour I so longed to see, but my heart is happy he is here. I inch closer wanting to be as close to him as possible, to feel his skin on mine. I am desperate to kiss his lips and stay there forever. Breathing each other in till the end of time. I look down at my swollen belly where our baby grows. I long to share this with him. I want him to feel our child moving inside me. A tear slowly rolls down my cheek. Just then I feel his thumb rub the tear away. I look up with a start. There, there are the violet eyes I have so longed to see. Without warning his lips are on mine, hard and full of promise. I cry out at the feeling as his hands come up and cup my face, holding me tight like I might try to get away.  

"Your here" He whispers into my lips only stopping long enough to draw in another breath 

"I don't want to be anywhere else" I whisper back, not wanting to break us apart ether. After what feels like just seconds but would have been serval minutes, we find a way to separate our lips from each other. Arwen rests his forehead on mine still cupping my face in his hands, not willing to let me go for one second. We sit like this for a little while, just taking each other in. 

"Arwen how are we here?" I ask looking up into his eyes 

"I don't know but I never want to go back" He answers closing his eyes and kissing my forehead. 

"Arwen, look at me" Trying to get him to really look at me. He opens his eyes and pulls back enough to finally take me all in. I watch as he starts at my face. Then down to my chest, where he gets stuck for a moment until I clear my throat. It's at this point that he starts to take in my belly. His eyes widen and his hand move around me. Then his head snaps up, eyes dark. 

"How did this happen?...... This is mine?.......... Please tell me this is mine?” His voice catches in his throat as he tries to put it all together. His eyes search mine trying to find the answers to his questions. I just lean forward and kiss him again. That is all the answer he needs before I'm up and in his arms. I let out a cry of joy, his lips on mine again. He lays me down gently so he can look at me again. Kissing my tummy so softly.  

"I can't believe this is mine" He grins up at me and my heart breaks all over again. 

I wake with a start, my heart racing and a strong pain running through my body. I grab my belly. it's time and I'm not ready