The mute's forbidden love

Chapter five

“This is delicious hun.” Matthew comments after chewing a spoonful of salad in his mouth.

I just smile and continue eating. Of course it is good, it has to be or else the plate would’ve been on the ground in pieces.

I take my last bite and drink some water. I pick up my plate and take the plate to the sink. I clutch the edge of the sink and take a few deep breaths. I close my eyes and try to keep my heart from beating faster than it already is. I hear the clanking of the spoon on the plate and understand that he is nearly finished eating. I nod to myself and gain courage.

Be brave, you are brave.

I walk to the dining table again and stand behind my chair. I grip the back of the chair and wait for him to notice me. He finishes and drinks his water. He looks at me in confusion when he notices me fidgeting beside him.

He raises his eyebrows questionably. I bite my lip, ”There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

He nods for me to continue, ”I met a women in the café this morning. She owns a school for the deaf and mutes and she offered me-“ I stop myself and contemplate my next words, “To volunteer, to help the kids. Can I…?”

He stares at for a few seconds and sighs. He gets up from his seat and faces me. Towering my 5.7 ft height easily, “Babe, if you are getting bored go to an amusement park, go to wherever you want to eat, go to a f*****g zoo but you won’t be working. You know how I feel about that.”

I knew this was coming. I gulp and try to explain, ”I won’t be working, I’m going to volunteer-“

“You won’t be working for anyone.” He cuts me off sternly.

I try my luck one last time, “But I really-“

He suddenly takes his plate and throws it on the floor, breaking it into pieces, “You won’t be f*****g working!”

I flinch as he shouts and an unwanted tear falls out from the corner of my eye. I lower my gaze and don’t dare move. He blows out a long breath and holds my cheeks in his.

He tilts my face up to wipe my tear, “Babe you know I don’t like yelling at you. I hate to see you cry. I love you so much I don’t want you to get hurt. I want to protect you from the evil world, don’t make it hard for me.”

He leans in kisses me deeply. I try to keep my tears at bay as my heart breaks all again.

He pulls back and smiles at me, “We both are enough for each other, right? Now forget about that, wipe these tears and go to bed.”

I smile and nod through my tears, “I’ll just clean this up.”

He gives my forehead a kiss and walks upstairs. I fall to the ground and sobs break out from me. I hold my head in my hands and weep at myself, pity myself. Am I week for not defending myself? Am I week for allowing him to do this? Am I pathetic for letting this happen to me again and again?

Flashback

I click the send button and smile to myself. I just received the response to my job application. I am called for an interview next week and they sent me an email for confirmation. I didn’t waste a minute, I’ve waited for this for a long time. I can’t wait to actually have a job and earn for myself.

I get up from the bed and keep the laptop open on the bed for time being. I walk downstairs and head to the living room. I pick the remote and start the tv. Before I could press the button I hear the elevator chime. I look sideways when the door opens. Matthew steps out and gives a huge smile on noticing me.

I get up from the couch and greet him with a kiss. ”I missed you.”

I chuckle and shake my head.

“Go freshen up. I’ll set the table.” I walk to the kitchen.

Matthew has really proved to be a great husband. It’s been one month since we got married. We went to a two week honeymoon, it was great. He has been nothing but caring and hasn’t missed a single chance to show me his love.

I set the table in five minutes, just when Matthew steps downstairs. I look up at him with a smile. My smile fades when I see the look on his face. He has his jaw clenched and eyes cold as ice. I look down to his hands and notice my laptop in his hands.

He turns the screen towards me, “What is this?”

I frown and reply, ”I have been called for an interview. It’s just the confirmation email.”

He takes a deep breath, ”I can see that. But what is this? Why did you apply for a job? When did I tell you to work? I earn enough money to feed the whole building. Why the f**k would I want you to work?”

“I never said I wanted to work for money. I just want to be independent. I’ve told you that before!” I state frantically.

He looks away angrily and then back at me, ”You are independent. You don’t know how the people outside are, I can’t risk you. You can do whatever the f**k you want as long as you do not leave this house?”

I laugh humorlessly, ”Isn’t that ironic? You say I’m independent and try to lock me up in this house like a f*****g animal!”

He throws my laptop across the room and it smashes against the wall, the voice echoing in the entire apartment. I stare wide eyed at the laptop and him.

He sighs and looks at me, ”You don’t understand. I can’t risk you. I can’t risk someone stealing you away. You are my most precious possession. I cannot lose you.”

I gulp and shake my head, ”You are just paranoid. I’m your wife I won’t do that to you.”

He glares at me and steps forward, “I’m not. You are never going to work. Do you hear me?”

He keeps on stepping towards me. I try to not feel intimidated, ”You can’t decide that for me. I am going to work and that’s my decision, you can’t change it.”

He stops and continues glaring at me. In a swift motion he comes up to me and twists my arms around pulling my back to his front. I wince at the pain and try to break free. His other hand comes around my throat and my eyes widen. I gasp trying to breath but he doesn’t let go. Just when I’m on the brink of blacking out he releases my throat and uses the same hand to turn my face around to his.

I find it hard to see his face clearly as my eyes are filled with tears and can hardly breath, “You do not object me. You follow what I say. You are mine, only mine. I won’t allow anyone to come between us. Do you understand?” He tightens his hold on my hands and my face both when I don’t reply, “Do you f*****g understand!?”

I nod desperately as tears start falling down my cheeks. He releases me and wraps his hand around me as I collapse into his arms. I touch my throat and try to take huge breaths. My vision starts blurring out and I notice his hand reaching my cheek.

He holds my cheek tenderly, opposite to how he did earlier, ”I hate to see you like this. I don’t want to hurt you baby. Please don’t make me do this again. You don’t want this again do you? So be a good wife and let me be a good husband. I love you.”

He pulls me in his arms and kisses my forehead. I sob into his chest, feeling disgusted.

I feel disgusted at myself. I still do. Why didn’t I fight back the first time? Or the second time? Or the next uncountable times? Why did I not fight?