The Butler

Chapter 1

Marahas akong ibinangon ng isa sa mga nagbabantay ng dungeon at binuhusan ng malamig na tubig na ikinakiligkig ng buong katawan ko.

Halos napahiga na lang ako sa sahig habang yakay yakap ang buto't balat kong katawan. I almost felt my pelvic bone when my fingers graze the lower part of my body. Wala akong suot kundi ang huling salawal na sinuot ko noong nahuli ako at ikinulong.

I closed my eyes firmly when they begun to forcely pull me up, napaluhod pa ako dahil wala ng lakas ang buong katawan ko.

I haven't eaten since yesterday, nagalit ang Senorito at ang mga nakakulong ang pinagdiskitahan. Pero ngayong ako na lang ang nandito, halos ako ang pinagdidiskitahan ng mga tauhan niya.

Dumulas ang hawak nila sa akin dahil sa putik na nasa katawan ko, nadagdagan pa dahil sa pagbagsak ko ulit sa sahig. Umigik na lang ako sa sakit dahil sa pagbagsak ko.

"Merde, mec, tu le tiens, il sentait la merde !"

"Espèce d'i***t, c'est toi qui le tiens maintenant, je t'aide juste."

Napakislot ako ng hahawakan nila ulit ako. Halos natatapan na ng buhok ko ang mukha ko. Umabot na hanggang balikat ang haba ng buhok ko. And it's been 3 years... since I helped her escaped.

And I am still trapped in this dungeon. Repeating the abuse and the cruelty that Senorito has reminded to his henchmen over and over again.

Bakit hindi siya ang magparusa sa akin? Mas matatanggap ko pa.

Hindi ko siya masisi, pero this is beyond him! I have served him, all throughout my existence, and with my very first choice, he banished me from his sight forever. The very first choice that I decided to do...

Pero hindi ako nagsisi, she did not deserve it— she is an angel, a heaven.

The only sane thing that came here, even if she was forced. She was the only one that kept me sane. And feel free once again.

My salvation.

Hindi na nagpilit ang dalawa at hinayaan akong nakahiga sa malamig at maputik na sahig, bago itinapon ang pinggan na may lamang pagkain. Kumalat ito sa sahig, and the worm and cockroaches begun to eat it.

Pinanood ko lang ang mga ito habang kinakain ang pagkain ko.

I let them, kasi wala naman ng pagasa ang buhay ko.

Masiyado ng miserable ang buhay ko para mangarap pang muli na mabuhay ng matiwasay, na malayo sa impyernong kinalalagyan ko ngayon.

I stared at the small window here in my cell, ang tanging liwanag na nararanasan ko simula ng ikulong nila ako rito sa seldang ito. The clouds are moving pretty fast, but the aching and the pain in my body won't leave immediately.

And the cycle, repeats.

"Gumising ka na!"

A loud bang made me woke from my long-awaited day.

For no reason, mas lalong lumamig ang kapaligiran ngayon. Is it already winter?

Nanghihinang tiningnan ko ang bintana. And I was right.

The snowflakes are slowly but surely falling from the sky, yung ibang nahahangin ay pumapasok sa selda na naroon ako.

"Don't daydream there, kiddo," a playful sound echoed around the four corner of my prison.

Hirapang iminulat ko ang isa kong mata para makita kung sino siya. He even spoke in tagalog earlier, this man. Walang nakakapagsalita ng tagalog dito maliban sa Senorito at ako.

Na pinagsisihan ko dahil hindi ko siya mamura-mura.

Nakaskwat ang lalaki habang nahaphap ng tobacco. He is dressed warmly, with that big furr coat that hugged his big body perfectly. May peklat siya mula sa kilay pababa sa ibaba ng mata. And his eyes... it was dark blue sea, the one in the middle of it all, the mid ocean.

It was a beautiful color, yet it also holds deep danger. We all say that the eyes are indow of the soul, that when you have eyes, you don't need to say the words you've been meaning to say, it just emerge within your eyes.

But his, it is like the waves, it is complicated. Kailangan pang mas laliman at mas makilala mo para malaman mo ang iniisip niya.

"W-Who..." hindi ko na natuloy ang sasabihin ko ng mapaubo ako ng malakas. Ilang minuto lang ay naramdaman ko ang kung anong sakit sa may puso ko.

Napatakip ako sa bibig ko ng nagpatuloy ang pag ubo ko hanggang may naramdaman akong malapot na likido sa palad ko. When I look at it, a pool of blood were dripping down from my hands. Kasama ang laway, pero mas marami ang kulay pulang likido.

And for no reason at all, I smiled.

"Enfin..." I mumbled.

"Naw-ah! Not finally, kiddo. Merde, on est dans de beaux draps ! Emmène-le à l'infirmerie !"

They opened the gate, and the man stood by. Pinalibutan ako ng mga taong nakaputi at masks, and I remember them, they're the doctors in the infirmary! Marahan pero sigurado nila akong binuhat para isakay sa stetcher.

"W-What..." wait, will they try to heal me?

T-they can't heal me! I don't want to be healed!

"N-No, let me go!" I kept thrashing halos gumewang na ang pagkakahawak nila sa stretcher dahil sa kalikutan ko.

"Don't make this harder for us, kiddo."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at pinipilit paring makaalis pero mabilis nilang itinali ang mga kamay ko sa mismong stretcher. "Just let me d-die! Let me go!"

"I'm afraid that it's not really your call."

Not my call? f**k, not my call?! Natatanga ba sila? Are they f*****g kidding me?!

Lalong sumakit ang dibdib ko sa di malamang dahilan. "Not my call? f**k you! I have been abused, and f**k, not my call? It's been f*****g three years, or so! Just let me die! f**k! Let me die!"

Tinitigan niya lang ako bago sinenyasan ang isang lalaki, and the man obliged, pinatungan niya ng panyo ang bunganga ko. I tried to trashed around, but the more I exhaled, mas lalong dumadagdag ang hilong nararamdaman ko.

And eventually, I stopped, like I stopped asking for him. For him to seek for me, deep in the dungeon. The place he loathes.

"Don't worry, everything will now be back to normal. You'll reclaim your position, as his right hand, as his butler."

Kahit na pawala na ang huwisyo ko at papikit na ang talukap ng mata ko ay nagawa ko pang tumawa. Ang halos hindi na makangiting labi ko ay dumagundong ang tawa sa kwartong 'yon. Halos sumakit ang bunganga at panga ko sa kakatawa.

"Is that joy?"

Unti unting nawala ang tawa ko hanggang sa ngisi na lang ang natira. "I'd rather die... than serve that bastard as my master."

They all gasped.

Because it's against the rule to speak ill to him.

Bago pa siya makapagsalita ulit ay hinigit ko ang pocket knife ng nasa tabi kong guard at mabilis na tinarak 'yon sa dibdib ko. Agad kumalat ang hapdi sa dibdib ko na mas lalo ko pang ikinatawa.

I was about to stab myself again when he quickly moved and snatched the knife from me.

"Serf! s**t, hold him! Put pressure on his wound!"

Hinayaan ko silang magkandaugaga sa pag gagamot sa akin, sa mismong dungeon. Habang ako ay nakatingin lang sa malumot na kisame.

In a snap, the memories of him and I, playing in this exact dungeon flooded my mind. As if its replaying, reminding me who am I, what my role in his world. And that memory turned into another event, we were reaching puberty, the secret we've been keeping even from each other, what happened in this exact dungeon.

How his hate for me grow wider, and the moment he begun torturing me inside because of that mistake. How he kissed me, confused but cannot stop. Kung paano niya ipinilit ang katawan niya sa akin, and with every thrust he made, he was looking at me, lusting over my crying face.

And how I, in the middle of it, cried out of despair, because he r***d me.