The Ones She Left Behind

Chapter Five

As Maggie finished reading the last page of her history readings, she glanced out the window at the setting sun. Nervous excitement filled her as she remembered that, this time tomorrow, she would be in the middle of her first date. This realization had been creeping up in her thoughts throughout the evening, making concentrating difficult. Still, she managed to pull herself together as she finished.

Closing the book, she sighed with relief and placed it in her book bag that lay on the floor beside her bed.

"You know what you haven't done since we got here, don't you?" Topher's voice caught her attention as she looked over at him, standing by the window.

Maggie bit her lip as she realized what he was most likely referring to. She had thought about it as well in the last couple of days, but she was hoping to put it off as long as possible. "I was hoping that wouldn't come up."

"But, you know you should."

Maggie sighed. "I guess, not that it makes much difference. It's not like she ever responds to them, anyway."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it."

Groaning, Maggie walked over to her dresser and grabbed her light pink laptop. She then sat cross-legged on her bed. Going into her email, she pulled up a blank message.

Dear Mom,

Maggie stared at the screen, unsure where to start. She had been communicating with her mother primarily via email for the last couple of years, but her mother's responses had grown few and far between. Maggie knew that she communicated with Lani and her previous caregivers, but rarely did her mother ever take the time to talk to her personally. Maggie would've given up on sending them altogether, but Topher always insisted that she continue trying to reach out to her.

Taking a deep breath, she began.

This change isn't exactly what I had expected, but I guess it isn't all that bad. The people here so far seem friendly. And guess what? I have my first date on Friday! I'm excited. It's too bad you can't be here to help me get ready. You always knew how to style my hair just right. I'm not sure how much I trust Lani to help me with it.

I miss you. It's been months since I've been able to see you. When can I see you again? I wish you would at least talk to me.

Love always,

Maggie

Tears stung at Maggie's eyes. She blinked them away as she pressed send. Once the tears subsided, she looked back at Topher.

"There. It's done."

"You never know when she'll respond," he said, sitting next to her. "If you give up, you'll never know."

She shook her head. "I don't even feel like I have a mom anymore. I have an overseer of my care. That's basically what it amounts to."

"Someday things may get better," he assured her. "But, if you give up, then nothing will change."

"Do you . . . think maybe she hates me?"

He shook his head. "She loves you. I don't think she's shutting you out on purpose. She doesn't seem like the type."

"I just always thought that, once he was gone, she and I could get our happy ever after. I never expected to be living hundreds of miles away from her and being closed off from her." She folded her arms. "It's like, when he went down, he brought her down with him."

"But, fortunately, he's gone for good. She isn't." He placed his hand over hers. Warm energy spread from her hand up her arm. "And, you're right here. As long as it stays that way, you can bring her back."

A playful smile lit up Maggie's face. "And, as long as you're right here, I guess I won't be going anywhere, will I?"

He nodded. "Exactly."

Moonlight shone through Maggie's window, holding Topher's gaze. He stared out into the night, taking in the stars.

Maggie groaned in her sleep, her eyes squinted. Topher placed his hands on either side of her face, and the peaceful look returned. Keeping one hand firmly in place, he ran his finger along the side of her cheek. Her skin always looked soft. What would it feel like to touch it and actually feel it?

He jerked his hands away.

He hopped off the bed. She was good for a little while, so he left the room. In the hallway, he stopped when he saw the young girl standing before him.

"So, Maggie seems like she's having fun," Darcy stated. "Her big date is tomorrow, right?"

Topher nodded. "Don't remind me."

The younger girl gave him an innocent smile. "You act like tomorrow is her wedding day."

"It wouldn't make much difference if it was."

She stepped closer. "She needs to know the truth, Topher."

He grunted. "And what good would that do? I can't give her what she needs."

She rolled her eyes. "You already give her everything she needs. You love her, don't you? You've already devoted yourself to her. What more could she really need?"

"She needs someone who is alive."

"But no one alive is going to love her as much as you do. Topher, if you don't tell her, you're going to regret it. For once, be a little selfish."

He shook his head. "I won't stand in the way of her happiness."

"It's not fair for you to always be sacrificing your happiness for her. What sacrifices has she made for you?"

"I never asked her to do anything for me," he said. "She doesn't need to. I'm her protector, after all."

Darcy shook her head. "You pretend like you're okay with all this, but I know you aren't. One of these days, your control is going to slip. Then what?"

"I won't let that happen."

"You might not have a choice."

Topher groaned. "Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

She shook her head, her expression turning grim. "Mom isn't doing well. I saw her earlier. I can't go back there, at least not tonight." She crossed her arms. "Yet, Maggie complains about sending her an email once a week? At least Mom knows she exists. She has pictures of Maggie all over her room."

"That's why I keep pushing her to reach out," he said. "I keep hoping that Maggie will someday get through to her again. But, I know how you feel. Somedays, I wish I could have a relationship with my mom, or at least let her know I'm okay, but I know it's better this way."

Darcy's face lit up. "Oh! Speaking of, come here. I have something to show you."

Topher stepped toward her. His guard was up as much as possible, shielding his own thoughts as he touched her hand. He saw the familiar face of a middle-aged woman as she tucked a young boy into bed. Her dark brown hair was longer than the last time Darcy had shown her to him, and the small boy had grown slightly since he had last seen him. The woman leaned over and kissed the boy's forehead. Darcy's memories then flashed to a nightstand, where he saw a framed photo of himself—his last school picture before his death.

He took his hand away from hers. "How long ago did you last see them?"

"Just a few nights ago," she said. "I kept forgetting to tell you. Miles is starting to look more like you every time I see him, wouldn't you agree?"

Topher nodded. "Thanks for the update."

Checking in on his family was something Topher never asked Darcy to do, but Darcy wanted to try to return the favor since Topher had kept her family safe. Even though he was opposed to it the first time Darcy found his family, he no longer had the same objections as long as Darcy didn't try any of her tricks on them. He knew her intentions, for once, were pure, and that she only wanted to keep an eye on his family while he continued to protect hers.

"I know you won't leave Maggie's side, but you should see them for yourself sometime," Darcy said.

"They're fine. They don't need me."

The last time Topher had seen his mother with his own eyes, she had been mourning his death. A few months after his death, she had met a man at an emotional support group. They had been together ever since, and, according to what Darcy had periodically showed him, she was happy. That was enough for him.

"You're always wanting to make sure everyone else is happy. Is it ever going to be your turn?"

"I've found happiness in what I have, not what I'm missing," he said. "If you want to survive in this kind of existence, you're going to have to learn to do the same. Your mother is never going to know you exist. And Maggie, even if she knew you existed, you're not going to have the typical sister relationship you want with her. Once you learn to accept that, you can appreciate what you have and what you can do."

"That's easy for you to say," she said. "You know what it feels like to be alive, Topher. I never had a chance."

"But living isn't always easy," he said. "You've seen what growing up was like for Maggie. You've been in my head enough to know what I went through. If you had experienced that, you would wish you were dead."

Darcy nodded. "I know, but not everyone experiences those things."

"But, if you had lived, you would've been in the same position as Maggie," he said. "I don't know what would've happened to you if you had lived. You would've been six when I found Maggie, so all kinds of things could've happened to you before then. Maggie was considerably lucky."

"I know it wouldn't have been easy, but at least I still would've had a mom and a sister."

"Well, you know what I told you before. If you can learn to control yourself a little bit, I can introduce you to Maggie."

Darcy crossed her arms. "You know that's never going to happen."

It was an offer he had extended several times in the past, but Darcy was unable to exhibit the control she needed. When she tried to make herself visible to humans, she couldn't maintain her visibility for more than a few seconds, and she was unable to speak and show herself at the same time. Topher had mastered that control early on, before he had ever met Maggie. They had often wondered if Darcy having never been alive played a role in that.

Of course, there was also the fact that they each had different abilities. Topher was better at manipulating people and objects. Darcy was better at possessing objects. Topher had also wondered if his ability to manipulate people's minds played a role in why he was better able to show himself to others.

"Maybe I'll go find some drunks and work on that," Darcy said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As Darcy disappeared into the night, Topher returned to Maggie's room. She was still sound asleep, her expression still peaceful. He had always wanted to introduce her to Darcy, but he knew it would upset Darcy if Maggie couldn't see her. Their idea for the last couple of years had been to send Darcy to bars or places full of people who wouldn't remember having ever seen her so she could practice making herself visible. Even though Topher never went with her, he knew she was doing the best that she could based on what she showed him after practicing.

"Someday, I'll tell you about your little sister," he said, looking at Maggie. "I promise, we'll find some way for you two to properly communicate, even if you can't see her."

Topher sat on the bed by Maggie's feet as she woke up. Yawning, she stretched her arms over her head.

"Good morning." He gave her a slight smile. "Did you sleep well?"

Smiling, she nodded. "As well as usual."

He hopped off her bed and left the room, giving her privacy while she got ready for school. Once she finished getting ready, she entered the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal and a cup of orange juice. It seemed weird to be the only one up in the house. Typically, her previous caregivers would be getting ready for work or wanting to see her off, but Maggie was starting to adjust to Lani's late night lifestyle.

When she was finished eating, Maggie slung her bookbag over her shoulder, grunting under the weight of the textbooks.

"I can't wait for tonight!" she announced on the walk to the bus.

Topher stared at the ground. "I never would've guessed."

"I can't believe I'm going on my first date," She clasped her hands together. "Rydelle is coming over tonight to help me get ready. She said she'll do my hair and everything. I hope Lewis will like it!"

Topher remained silent. This was the day he had been dreading, not just for the last few days. As Maggie got older, he knew she would want to start dating, but he had hoped he still had time before that could happen. Even though he knew the time was coming, it didn't make it any easier for him. Darcy had been right about one thing—he wished it was him Maggie was going on a date with tonight. He died too young to have ever gone on a first date or have his first kiss, and there was a part of him that wanted those experiences, but he only wanted them if they could be with Maggie.

"I wonder what he has planned for tonight. The stereotypical dinner and a movie? Or, something completely random?" Her face flushed. "Oh, I wonder if he'll kiss me!"

If he had any, all the blood in Topher's face would've drained. "Do you . . . want him to kiss you?"

"Of course I do. He's really cute and seems really nice."

"I know dating is important to you, but promise me you won't rush into anything, okay?"

"Don't worry." Her cheeks grew redder. "You know I'm not ready for anything more than this."

"Just make sure he knows that, too. Don't let him do anything you're not ready for. I promise you that, as long as I'm around, no one will hurt you."

Maggie bit her lip. "About that . . . Topher, I don't think you should go along tonight."

Topher stopped walking. "But, how am I supposed to protect you if I don't go?"

"Tonight, I think I'll be okay," she said. "Rydelle and Lyle are making it a double date, so it's not like I'm going to be totally alone with Lewis." She met his gaze. "This was a hard decision for me to make, but I think it's time I get used to doing some things without you."

"I understand, but that doesn't mean I like it."

"I don't care if you like it. I just want you to respect it."

"If this is what you really want, then I won't follow you on your date," he said. "But, I also hope you understand that, if anything happens to you tonight, I'll never forgive myself."

Maggie reached her hand out, attempting to touch his shoulder even though he couldn't feel it. "If anything goes wrong tonight, it'll be my fault for telling you not to go along, not yours."

Once at school, Maggie met up with Lewis. While they headed inside, Topher closed his eyes and focused all his energy on making himself invisible to Maggie. He had never done this, but right now it was necessary. He wasn't sure if it worked, but he figured Maggie would let him have it later if it didn't and she caught him.

Once Lewis and Maggie parted ways in front of her first class, Topher peaked inside Maggie's classroom as she sat down and pulled out a textbook. She didn't seem to notice he was missing, but he wasn't sure how much time he had before she would grow suspicious.

He followed Lewis through the sea of students. He tried not to get in the way, but some of the students ended up passing right through him. Even though he couldn't exactly feel it, it still felt weird and awkward, like he didn't even exist.

He freed himself from the crowd and followed Lewis into a classroom. He greeted a group of guys and took a seat with them. A tall, lanky guy was telling Lewis and the other about a broken tractor. Nothing to be concerned about.

Topher hopped up on a ledge, as he did in Maggie's classes.

Maggie.

A pang of guilt struck him. He had abandoned her to keep tabs on a guy just to find reasons she shouldn't go out with him. He probably wasn't a real danger to her. He really didn't think Lewis was going to hurt her on the first date. However, Topher didn't want Maggie to end up falling for him only to have her heart broken. He saved her from potential broken bones, so why should a potentially broken heart be treated any differently?

Nothing interesting happened during this class, but Topher wouldn't give up. He followed Lewis to his next class. Everything was about the same as the class before it, except Lyle was also in it.

Rydelle walked into the room and pecked Lyle on the lips before sliding into the seat behind him.

"Hey, handsome," she said, a devilish grin on her face.

Topher tuned out their conversation, choosing instead to focus on Lewis. He was flipping through a textbook, but judging by how fast he turned the page, Topher knew he wasn't really reading.

Topher got down on the floor in front of Lewis and examined his face. Calm, cool, and collected.

Okay, so he is probably just bored.

Going to the back of the room, Topher sighed. Why did he have such bad feelings about Lewis? He did seem like a decent guy. Maybe he scored some negative points for getting Maggie drunk, but overall he didn't seem so bad. So, why did he have such a bad hunch?

Because you want Maggie.

He tried to shake the thought away, but it just wouldn't leave. He never wanted to be jealous of a guy she showed interest in, but once she started dating, she would need him less and less, and, eventually, she may not need him at all. That was made obvious when she told him not to come along. This date was only the beginning of the end of his time with her.

"I'll keep an eye on lover boy. You go back to Maggie."

Topher's attention turned to Darcy who appeared next to him.

"If you're not going to tell her the truth, you at least need to enjoy what time you still have with her," she continued. "Because, if he's not the one who steals her heart, someone else will, and unless that person is you, she's not going to need you anymore."

"Let me know if you find out any reasons Maggie shouldn't go on this date."

"I already have one." Her expression softened. "You know that reason as well as I do."