A Kiss to Life

Chapter 7: Pag pwede na

“This is Dr. Joaquin Isaiah de La Costa,” Dr. Martinez introduced to another resident–he said that Dr. de La Costa is his Senior. “They are our new students, Dr.”

Dr. de La Costa nodded and looked at us five. “Nice meeting you all,” he greeted and we immediately greeted him back.

“Please introduce yourself to Dr. de La Costa,” Dr. Marinez and we immediately followed.

“Rebecca Isabela Ayala, Dr,” Ycca introduced herself. Dr. de La Costa just nodded so we continued introducing ourselves. Marcus followed Ycca, Anthony was next to him then Aila.

“Amaris Romana Claveria, Dr.” I introduced myself last, smiling.

Dr. de La Costa creased his brows and tilted his head. “How are you related to Dr.–”

“Ah, Dr. Joaquin…” Dr. Martinez cut him off. He whispered something on him and they both nodded after.

“I understand,” Dr. de La Costa said after.

“Alright. I’ll leave them to you now,” Dr. Martinez said and Dr. de La Costa just nodded again. “Good luck, students!” He said before leaving.

“Follow me,” Dr. de La Costa motioned us. We immediately moved and followed him.

“I’ll have my rounds now and I want you to observe thoroughly. Write down your observations and after this, tell me each,” he said. We all nodded and prepared our notebooks.

We first went into the ward to check his patients with heart problems. Dr. de La Costa is a cardiologist and it is sad to see that most of his patients are kids and old people.

"She's too young to have this kind of illness," Ycca commented as we observed how Dr. de La Costa checked on his five-year-old patient.

This kid has Atrioventricular septal defect or (AVSD). It was a congenital condition where the wall between the person's heart’s chambers had a hole. People with this condition also have problems with the valves that control blood flow in the heart.

Atrioventricular canal defect allows extra blood to flow to the person's lungs. The extra blood forces the heart to work too hard, causing the heart muscle to grow larger.

Untreated, atrioventricular canal defects can cause heart failure and high blood pressure in the lungs. Treatment usually involves surgery during the first year of life to close the hole in the heart and to repair the valves.

And this kid had his first surgery a few months after he was born but having an operation doesn’t mean the patient is cured from this illness. This is a life-long illness with lots and different complications. Sadly, this kid is already facing the complications of his illness.

I sighed.

We move to another patient, this one has Cardiomegaly, or an enlarged heart. The patient is in his teens. But unlike the first one, this isn't as dangerous as AVSD. Cardiomegaly is a sign that another health condition is affecting the heart. Luckily, they already detected the reason why his heart grew larger.

The next patients–the aged patients–their condition mostly a sign of aging and bad habits when they were younger. Gladly, none of them have a serious condition.

The rounds took us two hours and a half. It was tiring and a bit saddening to hear the patients' stories, but somehow, it feels good to see them smile and hear them saying thank you for the little amount of relief Dr. de La Costa gave them.

To be that kind of doctor, that's what I aspired to be.

And just like what Dr. de La Costa said, we had a short recitation of our observation from the rounds. Dr. de La Costa gave us tricky questions that involved giving the proper amount of dosage of drugs for each patient we encountered.

Thankfully, we answered all of his questions correctly.

"I will have an open-heart operation tomorrow evening. If you want to watch, you can stay and wait until it starts. But if you have other things to do, I understand," Dr. de La Costa told us after our shift. We are all still in his office because of the recitation.

"We will stay, Dr." Aila said after we all agreed on attending by exchanging glances and nodding.

"Very well. The operation will start at 8pm. It will probably end after five hours or more," he informed. "If you can't stay until I finish the operation, I will understand."

"We will stay until you finish the operation, Dr. " It was me who answered this time.

Dr. de La Costa lifted his eyes on me, brow arched and said, "I'll be expecting."

"Thank you, Dr." We all said.

We were dismissed after that.

"Kumusta?" Noah asked me the moment I settled myself inside the car.

"It was tiring!" I answered drastically while I rested my head on the headrest of my car chair. "My feet are aching from walking around, my neck, too."

"Reklamo ba 'yan o nag ku-kwento ka lang?" He asked again. He started driving after saying that.

"I was just describing my day," I said, calmer now. Nakakahiya naman kasi sa isang to na akala lagi akong nag re-reklamo. "How about your day?" I asked him as well.

He shrugged. "Ganun pa rin naman, boring."

"Why is it boring? Don't you have friends in your school?" I asked.

"Friends? Ang babata pa kaya ng mga classmates ko," he answered.

"How old are they?"

Noah glanced at me from the rearview mirror. "23. 25 yung pinakamalapit ang edad sakin, tapos babae pa."

"What's wrong kung babae?"

He arched his brow. "Kung ikaw ba makakakita ng dalawang taong nasa edad na, hindi ka ba mag-iisip ng kakaiba tungkol sa kanila?"

"Is that your reason why you don't make friends with your classmates?" I asked, brows creased. Feeling ko mas napagod ako sa narinig kong pino-problema ng lalaking 'to.

"Ayaw ko lang ng issue," sagot nya.

"Baka ikaw lang ang nag iisip na baka magka-issue?"

"Grabe. Para mo naman sinabing ang feelingero ko," ani niya. "Sige nga. Pag ba ikaw, nakita mo ako na may kasamang babae, hindi mo ba iisipin na may something kami nun? Kahit konti?"

I tried thinking about it. I imagined him with some woman. They were walking side by side, smiling and laughing at each other while they talked over silly things. It was a lovely sight, like those in the movies where the lead characters are still trying to get to know each other and they tried to talk about every possible topic they will think of.

"Ano?" Noah asked, waking me up from reverence.

I blinked more than three times and sighed. "You're right. People would think you have something for each other."

"See? Ayaw ko ngang ma-chismis, no. Nandun lang naman ako para mag-aral, hindi para sa ibang bagay," he said.

I took a deep sigh and said, "You have a semester left after this one, right? After that, you'll graduate?"

He nodded and glanced at me again. "Oo. OJT ko na pala next semester."

"Oh? Do you want me to tell Dad that you'll stop driving for me until you graduate?" I asked, getting alarmed. "And… and if you still want to continue working as my driver after you graduate, you still can… I will not replace you."

OJT is crucial and I don't want to give Noah a hard time by driving me to school and hospital.

"Tinatanggalan mo na ba ako ng trabaho?" He asked instead.

"Huh?"

"Pag hatid at sundo lang sa'yo ang ginagawa ko, kaya kung papatigilin mo ako, ano nang gagawin ko? Wala na akong trabaho nun," he explained.

"It's until you graduate lang naman. You'll be on your OJT and I don't want to burden you by needing to drive me to whatever places I need to be," I reason but this one won't just give in.

He won't be Noah if he won't argue with me.

"Hindi ko naman hinihingi yun, mismam. Hindi naman ako titira sa pag

o-OJT-han ko. Mahahatid at masusundo parin kita nun," he said.

"You'll get very exhausted," I said.

"Sanay ako sa pagod. Hindi mo ako kailangan alalahanin, mismam," he said, smirking. "At saka, 'di ba tuloy-tuloy na yang clinical nyo? Mas lalong kailangan mo ako ngayon kasi paniguradong pagod ka lagi."

"Sanay rin ako sa pagod," I just said because that's the only thing I can think of saying.

Maybe, I'm just really tired. My body was so exhausted that I'm getting emotional now. Maybe it's the stress that's why I'm crying now.

"Ayun naman pala, e! Hindi ba sabi mo, ako ang daily dose of good vibes mo–" he stopped from speaking seeing me wiping my tears. Immediately, he parked on the roadside.

"Why did you stop? Baka maticket-an tayo rito!" I told him.

"Pwedeng mag park dito kaya 'di tayo mati-ticket-an," he said, facing me. "Bakit ka umiiyak?"

I shook my head. "Wala. Pagod lang ako."

"You're always tired, Amaris, but you never cried," he said, and the way he said my name sent shivers down my spine.

"This is the first time you called me by my first name," I said instead, still feeling the unfamiliar feeling it gave me.

His brow creased and he said, "I can call you by that every time if you want. And if you ask me to call you by your full name, I would do it…" he breathed, his eyes full of concern. "Now, tell me why are you crying?"

Hearing him say those made me cry more. I don't know anymore. I am not sure of myself now. The only thing in my mind now is the scenario he made me think of. Him with another girl. With graduating, the possibility of him leaving his job as my driver, and the possibility of me not seeing him again if he chose to leave. Those are the things running in my mind right now.

"Amaris…" he called again, reaching for my hand, squeezing it with his own. "Tell me what's wrong," he added but I don't have any more words in my head to answer him.

All I can think at this moment is one thing. And realizing why I am like this made me cry more.

"Noah, I think… I think I like you," I confessed.

Noah's mouth parted and his hold on my hand loosen. I panicked seeing him having that reaction that I started explaining.

"I know you don't feel the same, but I still want to tell you this. I want to let it out of my chest. I want you to know about how I feel. But it's really okay if you tell me you're not interested. I don't want you to be pressured just because I'm your–"

I was cut off from my words when Noah lifted his other hand and reached for the back of my head, pulling me closer to him and closing the distance between his lips and mine.

He kissed me. It was just a closed-mouth kiss but it still sent a million volts of electricity throughout my whole system. It feels like I'm resurrected from the dead.

He pulled away after a few seconds and from the back of my head, his hand went to my left cheek; wiping my tears away.

"Umiiyak ka nang dahil dun?" He asked and I nodded.

"I was confused," I answered truthfully.

"Confused ka kung gusto mo ba talaga ako o natutuwa ka lang sakin?" He said and I immediately shook my head.

"I like you! I'm sure of it," I confessed again, braver now. "I just got scared of the possibilities that ran through my head."

"Ano naman yung mga iniisip mo?" He asked softly this time.

"You with… with someone else," I answered and he immediately commented, "Selosa." I rolled my eyes and continued explaining. "And you might resign after you graduate. I got scared thinking I might not see you again after that."

His eyes twinkled, it was full of emotions I know reflects mine. "Gusto rin kita, mismam. Gustong-gusto," he said. "At hindi ako aalis."

I was touched hearing he won't leave. I bit my lower lip hearing that. "But you said you don't like someone?"

He smirked. His hand that was still holding mine is now caressing it, while his other one remained on my cheeks, caressing, too, with his thumb.

"Makulit ka. Alam kong pag sinabi kong may nagugustuhan akong babae, hindi mo ako titigilan tanungin hangga't mo nalalaman kahit pangalan lang nya," ani nya.

I rolled my eyes. I had stopped from crying. "Of course, I'll be curious about who it is, so I will ask!" I said defensively.

Noah chuckled and said, "Ngayon alam mo na kung sino."

"When did it start?"

He shrugged. "Hindi ako sigurado. Siguro nung pinababa mo ako ng sasakyan para sumama sa dinner nyo nung nag celebrate kayo ng pag pasa mo sa exam? Yung NMAT ba yun? O nung sinabihan mo akong umuwi muna pagkatapos kitang ihatid nung first day mo sa med school dahil sabi mo, wala naman akong gagawin habang nasa klase ka kaya mag pahinga muna ako?"

"Noah… those happened two years ago," I said and he nodded. I feel like I'm crying again.

Matagal na pala, pero hindi ko man lang nahalata. Hindi niya pinahalata sa akin ng dalawang taon.

"Ang bait mo kasi masyado sakin, na-fall tuloy ako," he said, his tone was a bit teasing but I don't think I can take that as a tease now.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked.

He smirked and answered, "Dahil tingin ko imposibleng 'tong mangyari."

"But it's happening now," I told him.

"Buti na lang," ani niya, nakangisi pa rin ng mapang-asar. "Pero pangako ko sa sarili ko na pag may napatunayan na ako, pag kaya ko na at pwede ka pa, susubukan ko. Susubukan kong makuha ka. Handa akong paghirapan ka, mismam," he added that made me cry again.

I let go of his hand and reached for his shoulders. I hugged him. "I love you, Noah!"

"I love you more, Amaris," he said, kissing the side of my head. "Siguradong lagot ako nito sa daddy mo, per bahala na. Mahal talaga kita, e."