The Alpha's Runaway Mate

NEVER CAME

Jainny was kneeling infront of me drying the tears I was shedding while I called back those memories.They were all bittersweet. First I was happyAfter that one, the memory of my first shift was the happiest and at the same time the most sad memory I had, i had bonded with my pack and was completely a part of it now, but it was something I missed sharing with my mate, that made Cerila and I whimper, back then all we wanted was him to come, call, write telling us he was fina, he missed us. But a letter never came, he never called, and clearly nerver came to me. He left us behind, and never looked back. I was crying so hard both Jainny and Hannah were rubbing circles in my back, trying to soothe me, my hands were on my face and I was sobbing the memories had called with them all the emotions I felt back then, the sadness, the joy and most of all the pain. Pain, when I felt my heart hurt again while I cried another memory came back to my mind.

"Sweety breathe, come on, let it all out" Jainny's voice was calm, she knew I had been keeping my tears from falling for a long time.

"He nerver looked back Jainny, he didn't come even when... even when..." I cried louder and hugged my Luna with all the stength I had, which wasn't much because due to the hard sobbing I could barely squeeze her. She hugged me back and caressed my head.

"I know bay, I know"

"Mom told him... and he didn't even call back" now my voice was almost a whisper and I couldn't help the tears that kept falling, I was angry and very upset at the fact that I couldn't stop myself from feeling so low about this whole thing, it made me feel empty. Cerila was whimpering as well, we both had suffered due to his absence.

*Flashback*

A week or so after my first shift I started feeling odd, at first I thought it could be something related to the shift so I didn't give it too much importance, but one night I got to know what was the thing that was bothering me. I woke up before sunrise with chills, and sweat, I felt all my body aching and I was very weak. I got to my bathroom and washed my face with cold water, but once I touched my face it felt like if I was on fire, my head was spinnig around a bit due to the dehydration. With out being able to stand correctly I made my way back to my bed and mindlinked my mom, so she could check me up and see if I what I was fearing was true. Those minutes were horrible I felt like throwing up, but since my stomach was empty I had nothing but bile. When my mom finally arrived she checked my temperature, when she touched me I winced, somehow it had felt like fire in my skin. Mom looked up from the thermometer abd back at me, sighed and left the room.

I heard her before I saw her coming back, I had fallen asleep, but she was talking pretty high. "What do you expect me to do, sit an see how she crawls on her bed in pain?!"

"No, but still, she herself asked him to come before, what will be different this time?" I heard my dad's muffled voice through the door. What was going on? Who called who? Whta is happening to me?

"This time he might be more motivated, I told him we would allow him to take her with him if he came, it's just that... that... I can't see her going through this, her recovery has taken long enough since he was gone, and now this. I wished there was something we could do to stop it from happening, or even delay it" mom's voice was sad and concerned, what on earth is going on with me?

"We did all we could to delay it, this is the Goddess will, and there is nothing we can do about it, she is strong, she can endure this and much more"

"I know she can but I don't know if the bond can take it as it is" now her voice was hard, she was being dead serious now.

"He will have a hard time when he shows up, if he doesn't come now, but it is his choice. The bod will survive, but her feelings will most definitely be tainted after this"

"Could this affect the peace?"

"If he dares to hurt her farthermore I don't doubt Aroon could break the treaty for his sister's sake. But this itself won't do any harm to it, we must consider this is a mate thing, not a political issue"

"What happened to Nats? Is she fine?" my brother's voice seemed tired, he had certainly just came back from his daily training. He interrupted mom and dad, but apparently hadn't heard the conversation.

"She is inside, she is fine, it's just that..." dad started muttering something incomprehensible for me.

"Holy c**p!! What are we going to do?! I f he doesn't come, d**n she will go through... D**n" Aroon's tone was worried and exasperated.

"Your mother already contacted him with Jainny" dad was blunt, and made my brother stop mumbling things.

"Soooooo?! What did he say?! Is he on his way here?!" I could feel a note of anger in his tone, but as well his worries were lowering.

"He said he... well, that he..." it was the first time Jainny had spoken, and she was very nervous.

"Babe don't worry, what ever it is he said I need to know, promise I won't freak out our lose control" Aroon reassured his mate.

"Ok, he said he was going to check if he could come, then his beta took the phone and told us he would try to persuade him to come, and before he hung up the phone... we heard things breaking and growls" I am starting to understand what's going on in here, but the fever is clouding my mind a little.

"Dear Goddess, what is going on with that dude? He clearly wants to see her, but doesn't come, doesn't call, does absolutely nothing to keep in touch with her" if I didn't know any better I would say he was with his hands on his head and pacing back and forth the hallway.

"Guys, I think we should check in on her, she probably already heard everything, so it's better to just tell her now" Jainny started to open the door.

"You and Asil do that, me and Aroon will go and check some pack stuff" perfect excuse to avoid something they consider girl talk, soooo mature dad.

After that mom and Jainny came in and took a sit on my bed. They looked at me with uneasy smiles, they weren't sure how to tellconfirm me what I was going through, after they shared a look between them, and then back at me mom shrubbed her eyes.

"Here we go. Okay Naty, this is the thing, you are in your heat" OMG the confirmation of my fears wasn't as shocking as the realization. I was all alone, without my mate, to go through the heat, therefore the Alpha they called was Edward, and he didn't saiy he would be coming right away, so I will most probably will have to go through all this by myself. Generally the heat is meant to mark the end or the start of the mating ritual, he had to mark me in order for me to go back to normal, but since Edward wasn't here I will have a very high fever for about a week, will not be able to endure any touch that is not his, and most of all when the heat ends I will have to go through a lot of pain until my body regains it's balance after so many days of high fever. No need to mention, this is one of the reasons mates stick together ALWAYS, nobody likes to be in pain nor their mate to suffer anything at all That's why it was difficult for me to understand the fact that Edward wasn't coming to me, nor for my shift or my heat, he really was full of surprises...

"Mom, what should I be ready for?" I looked my mom in the eyes but didn't reach to touch her hand, only thinking about it made my body burn, and not in the way when I touched or was near Edward, it was the kind that made my skin turn red and made me cry out for help, that kind of fire was the one I felt without my mate to help lower the fever and prevent the pain to come.

"Well baby, firstyou are already starting to feel it, the fever will keep rising until you could even hallucinate, then if anybody touches you, that might well be the case because we will have to lower the fever with cold water and you won't be able to walk, you will feel an excruciating pain unless it is your mate the one who carries you, as well you will feel a great need for him, enough to take you out of bed and make you wanna leave the pack's territory to find him but we can't allow that to happen since you could get lost and die of dehydration, and at the end of this whole thing if he isn't here you will experience all the consecuences of the fever, your body will feel week for a day or two and your head could bother you, but the worst thing I fear could happen is that your bond with Alpha Edward could be heavily damaged" my bond, with my mate could be damaged by this whole thing?

"How could that be? How could this affect what we have?" I was concerned, worried and overall scared that what I had with my mate would disappear.

"Your bond wouldn't disappear or anything like that, what would happen is that your feelings about it, about him could change as a result of leaving you to suffer and go through all this, when you belive he could have come and saved you" my mom read my mind again, and directed her answer to what I feared could happen, that would certainly be problematic, specially with my enhanced emotions, I could get a lot of bad feelings directed only to him. And well that can't be something good at all.

The next two days have been very bad, I have had chills that kept me shaking for hours unended, I felt terribly dizzy, I could barely eat so I grew weaker. And all along I kept waiting for him to show up and hold me tight, so I could finally rest and have a painless moment for a change. Sometimes I cried, and called as loud as I could, which wasn't really that high, his name for him to find me and put an end to my hurting being. Every time he didn't answer my heart kept breaking little by little, and my tears would fill themselves with pain and loneliness, but I didn't abandon hope yet, I waited and waited through the sickness.

At the third day I had nearly closed my eyes when I saw him, standing next to me with a calm smile, while he said "Did you miss me Angel?" and my eyes became teary at his image, but when I tried to reach him his face vanished and was replaced with the emptiness of my room at midnight, and when I tried to stand up and head to the bathroom I fell, but I felt some relief on the cold floor, so I didn't try to move. Yes, I ended up sleeping on the floor, it at least eased the pain I felt in my head. Later that day mom came rushing in and found me laying on the floor, I could barely move my fingers and she was asking me to get back on the bed, I tried I really tried my best to stand up, but nothing seemed to work, I fell over and over again in the floor. Mom mindlinked Dad and Aroon to pick me up and help me get back on the bed. When they touched me I felt like their hands had acid or something that was melting my skin and making me fall apart, I screamed for a minute or two until I was again in the safety of my bed.

That whole day mom stayed with me, and I kept telling her that I was seeing Edward, that he was here, and when he disappeared again I would cry and cry, my tears soaked wet one of my pillows, but my pain never eased, I started screaming to the figures to leave, to stop tricking me, but they kept coming and apparently my fever kept going up nonstop. Again Dad and Aroon came to the room, this time with a stretcher, with them came many pack members carrying buckets of ice and headed towards the bathroom, others came straight to me with a tray of medicines that I obidiently took, but none would ease the pain or the fever, it was out of any doctors control what was happening to me. After a while Dad and Aroon put me in the stetcher,  being very careful so they wouldn't touch me, and then took me inside the bathroom where my bathtub was filled I guessed with ice, before I could think too mch about it I felt again that agonizing feeling of someone who wasn't my mate touching me, they had taken my arms and legs, and in less than ten seconds I was inside the tub in the freezing water, I started shaking terribly, but after some time I saw that the ice had started melting around me and that my fever was high enough to make me hallucinate. Thanks to the cold I was able to think straight for quite some time, the only thing I saw in my hallucinations was my mate, because the heat is meant to take me closer to my mate, in order to keep the maiting ceremony going, if the mates weren't doing much about that. Clearly that was my case, since all we had done with my mate was talk and the Bloodbonding Ritual, that was supposed to be pleasant and it was more like a torture session, of course a torture session that saved my life. Surely the Moon Goddess was impacient to see Edward and I accept the gift she so gratiously granted us, unfortunately for her, and me, Edward had decided to leave and abandon me with out a single word, he left and didn't turn not for my first shift and obviusly not for this either. He was letting me be in pain just for the sake of Goddess knows what. Know I really felt it, anger and frustration. I was mad because if I hadn't been unconscious then I could at least have tried to stop him, but I wasn't and even in my state he had left me, with only a d**n handkerchief to remind me of him. That's what frustrated me, I could feel him so close, but still have him really hundreds of miles away from me, I started feeling that handkerchief as more a way to remind me of what I couldn't have than a reminder of the love of my life, my mate, my soulmate.

Those were the last clear thoughts I had before the fever returned with all its strength because I had been so long in the tub that it was no longer cold, it was temperate therefore not enough to keep the hallucinations away, so he came back, and so did my tears, bbut this time with angry cries, and I kept screaming at him that he left me to rot and suffer, that he didn't care, that the only thing  he wanted was to know I was in pain and hurting always eithout him, and so on, I kept screaming, when Jainny came in and touched my hand, at which I winced and screamed in pain, she ran off and called for more ice. I kept crying. When my mom saw me she was surprised, the ice was helping? Yes, sure thing, but my fever was just too high now, and all they could do was try to keep me from dehydrating and somehow stop me from turning so I could go and scream at the real Edward all I had told his imaginary counterparts.

That happened in the fourth or fifth day of heat, I am not sure anymore which day it is. I got out from the tub with Jainny and my mother trying to convince me to go back to the freezing water.

"Sweetie come on, it is helping the fever, and you can't go out as you are" mom was so worried she hadn't gone from my side since Jainny had found me screaming at the nothingness that it didn't care about me and that it only wanted to see me in pain.

"Mom, but it is cold, and I have to go to him, he has to see what he has done to me" tears were rolling furiously down my cheecks, and I kept shaking like if I was having hypothermia and I was going into shock.

"Yes I know, but you can tell him when your fever is gone, and you are better, right now you can barely stand, not even think of walking, less running" she said guiding me back to the tub.

"I might be unable to walk, but Cerila is not, she can do it, and when we arrive he just has to see me, and then... and then..." I didn't know what then, but tears fell from my eyes as a cascade and I wasn't sure if i could stop them.

"Then what baby girl? You don't need to go there to show how much he has hurt you by leaving you, you have to stay and let him imagine, that's worse than anything you can show him" she was on the berge of tears, but after years of Luna restrain and control mom kept her tears from falling and just looked at me, wit pleading eyes.

But I had to go, if it wasn't to show him my misery it was to make him stop it, but I had to find him, I had to be with him, even if it was only a minute, that would be enough. So I called upon Cerila, that had been whimpering over the fever and the pain foo I don't know how long. 'Cerila, we have to go to him, or else...' 'Or else the stupid heat is going to end what the poison couldn't'. I started changing, but when I was on Cerila's skin the weakness caught us off guard and then we felt a needle pierce through our golden fur.

After I don't know how much time, we woke up back in the tub surrounded by ice and coldness, I wore a silk gown, as the one I had been wearing before I tried to shift, but this one was purple the other was pink. I wasn't feeling better, but at least I wasn't hallucinating, and apparently the fever started lowering, it most me the sixth day, and when I looked out the window I saw it was pitch black outside. Therefore I had probably spent the whole day feverish and unconscious inside my bathtub. I must be such a mess. When I tried to pull from my left arm and it hurt i raised my eyes to see I was connected through an IV to a bag of physiological serum that was helping my body avoid dehydraition.

*End of flashback*

That week had been the wort in my entire life, I couldn't think straight, I couldn't do anything by myself, and the worts part is that I couldn't even be helped because it was agonizing to let someone touch me!!! When I drifted off from the heat I felt weak and I had lost almost ten pounds, I was throwing up almost anything I ate, and kept taking a coctail of medicines to restore my body to it's former shape. My wolf whimpered all the time about how our mate hadn't come, and how we werent' able to go to him. But I kept feeling angry at him, and that feeling was raising with each passing day. He had left me to heal all by myself five time slower from the Ritual, then he left me to fell double of the pain during my first shifting, and in addition, as the cherry he left me to deal with the heat and it's side effects alone, he didn't even call to ask if I was doing fine or if I was dead. I could have died he wouldn't have cared anyways. 'Don't say that, he loves us and you know it' I rolled my eyes, even while whimpering at the memory of the pain he caused she stood up for her mate, still with tears on them 'You don't leave someone you love to suffer, and if they have to then at least you DON'T LEAVE THEM TO DEAL WITH IT ON THEIR OWN!!!' I think I kind of screamed inside my head 'Think what you want, but he is coming, and I suggest you get in good terms with him, because I am sure there was some reason...' Cerila didn't finish her sentence because the anger flooding my body couldn't stand her anymore 'NO JUSTIFICATIONS CERILA, there is NOTHING he could tell me that could compensate what he did, specially after he was well aware of everything and decided to just stay safe within his walls' 'Just try keeping an open mind, remeber we need him to survive, and overall you know we love him and that you wouldn't be as angry as you are if you weren't in love with our mate' I kept my silence for a while, and as I calmed down I said 'Ido, I love him, but regardless of how much I want him I can't ignore what he did, and I am not running to his arms after all this, he will have to earn my love back, or s***w him' 'Agreed' and we both kept crying over our past pain and hur.

Only a few minutes had gone by after I got the note, my cries had turned into sobs and hiccups, while Jainny had kept rubbing circles in my back while I cried, and Hannah holded one of my hands on hers rubbing it gently so it would help me put myself together before I went to my room and met mom for a Luna lesson, a promise is a promise and I would be ready to be an excelent Luna by my birthday, it would be a year before I had to leave to Argent Moon, that was good, because I would have time to do some more practice job with Jainny during that year.

Once I calmed down I hugged both of them and finished the work we had been doing with Jainny really quick and I ran to my room to wash my face and clean up a little bit after the pound of tears I had left back in Jainny's office. Well, something had came out from all that disaster, I had a resolution: We would make Edward regret leaving us, and he would have build again his way to our heart, and nor Cerila or I, me more than her wouldn't allow him to get away with anything he made us go through.