Rose

Chapter 1 : Little prince

Pain...

That's all I could remember. The blinding pain, the unbearable push and pull of my cervix as it fights of the stretch of the life within me.

My baby...

Oh heavens I hope my son is okay, over the last few months I've been both anxious and excited to be a mother. I've built such a connection to him like none other, even though l haven't seen his little face yet I know I'll fall in love all over again.

That's why I have to fight and keep pushing. Lord I hope we both make it. Motherhood is all I've ever wanted. However, something seems off, nothing feels right it all happened too fast. I was supposed to drink my tea like I have been every morning for the last two months a little concoction angus the palace physician put together to supposedly strengthen me and prepare my body for the birthing process but before I could a sharp pain followed by the blood flowing down my legs, called for an emergency labour. I've honestly had my doubts about him, I always knew he never liked me; I never really liked him myself he always had this dark aura to him. I could always feel his hatred and loathing for me from the first time he set eyes on me. He was against a foreigner being queen, an outsider and most importantly a nobody, someone who's rank held no weight in Tarnow, you could call him a man of tradition.

I've tried to talk to Logan about having a physician from my hometown treat me for the duration of my pregnancy but he was so adamant on having him. " He's the best of the best ! " he said " he's cured the rarest of diseases. Always kept my father and father's father in tip top shape. I trust him with my life " . I silently scoffed when he said this. My intuition never lies, when something is off, it usually is. But I guess when you love someone that's what happens; you'd do anything to please them. Logan and I have been trying for a child for the past year, we had honestly begun to lose hope and almost gave up, but alas when we least expect it this miracle was bestowed upon us. Just like me he's been so excited to meet our son, we had decided on Pope as his name. We hadn't told anyone yet, we wanted to wait for the birth of our child to share his name at his naming ceremony.

My health has deteriorated in the past few weeks since taking the tea although Angus assured me that that is one of the tea's effects; it's way of preparing my body for it. Although I called bullshit on it because I was much stronger prior to taking it I just took his word for it and continued to take the tea. Big mistake. Cause along with feeling weak, this pain is blinding it's as if my body is fighting something off. I just don't know what. In the last three weeks I haven't felt my baby move. It's as if that connection I once felt to his life force was somewhat severed, like I've been carrying dead weight. I pray to every higher power that was not the case ! . I will give anything, even my life in place of his to ensure my child survives. Don't take my joy from me and my husband. We've been dreaming of this moment from when we hear of his existence.

As I continue to push and pray for the well-being of my child, the feeling of dread and terror doesn't go away in fact it seems to intensify as the time goes by.

With one big final push, my baby is finally here, Pope, my little prince, but as I wait for his glorious wails to fill the room... they don't come. MY SON IS NOT BREATHING !!!!!!.

Panic floods the room as everyone is doing all they can to resuscitate him. I couldn't imagine that something like this would happen. I had dreamt of this moment my entire pregnancy. Being a mother. The feeling. The way I'd react to seeing baby Pope for the first time, but not once did any of those realities lead to this moment . Hell Logan wasn't allowed to share this moment with me as tradition states that he can't be in the room till after the baby is born. So I sit there alone anxiously waiting for them to bring my son to me.

After what seems like an eternity, Angus finally walks into the room but without my baby. My heart drops and my ears start to ring, blurring out his voice in the background. My eyes begin to tear with the ever growing ache in my chest.

My son didn't make it. The fire I had in me , my will to live and any hope for future seemed to be snuffed out in that exact moment. My head hit the headboard behind me. I looked up to the heavens. " WHYYY !!!!!"