Finding Love (GxG) -completed-

Chapter 21-Acceptance

                                                                        Kameron 

I’m totally smitten with Eli. A nursing student, someone with basically no dating experience, and that hasn’t even come out of the closet yet. About 5 ½ years between us and a boatload of life experience. Strangely enough, I don’t really care. As I sit here on my lunch break on a Saturday, all I can think of is Elise, Eli, no… I prefer to call her El. How did we get to the nickname stage so quickly? She wrote “Eli,” on my arm, but I noticed her friend called her “Elise,”  Does that mean we have something special, or is it one-sided?

I thought I had something special with Ashley too; turned out that relationship was completely one-sided. I was committed but, I found out after the fact, I had been one of many. I honestly think it was my lack of experience that was such a turn on for Ashley. I let her call the shots and she taught me all kinds of things I’d never even heard of. Well, if nothing else, the $ex was good. Probably why it hurt so bad, it wasn’t just physical for me. Oh my gosh… if I’m going to have a chance with El, I have to get Ash, no, she is Ashley to me now. Get out of my head! 

El is nothing like she was.i do have to admit that being El’s first has a certain appeal. I know no one else has touched her. I also know I have to take it slow and earn her trust so I don’t scare her. I feel a certain protectiveness over her being she is so young and so inexperienced. I do not want to hurt her. 

                                                                           Elise

Why was I up at 10AM? Ugh! One day I could have slept later and my body doesn’t cooperate. Gonna make for a long evening. Oh well, it was worth it! I got to spend time with Andrea, and judging by her behavior, I think she needed me. We have been friends for years, so if I can be there for her, I definitely want to be. I had set my alarm hoping to sleep in, but no such luck. Gwendolyn was with Charlie this morning, so we again drove separately. As I park in my usual parking spot, I grab my bag, lock the doors, and walk across the parking lot. As I reach to open the employee entrance door, I think to myself: Oh well, better suck it up buttercup!

On my supper break, there is no one I know in the break room, so I check messages while I eat. I haven’t heard from Kam yet, but she did work this weekend. She is probably almost done for the day. Maybe I should shoot her a quick message and let her know I’m thinking of her? She told me last time I should have contacted her, so I should just do it. Gwyn always tells me, “Elise, you worry too much. Live a little!” Something going on with Gwyn for sure; it’s not like her to be MIA so much.

In the end, I rewrite the message several times before finally deciding on short and simple.

Eli: Good evening. Was thinking about you so thought I’d drop you a line. I hope you had a good day. (blushing emoji).

I wait, but no reply by the time I have to return to work; I turn my phone on silent and place it in my locker. Luckily it’s 11PM before I know it and I’m heading out to my car. Weekend shift reports are usually short and sweet. People talk less because they want to get out of there, so they only report the pertinent items and leave. I don’t go out often as some employees do, but I appreciate the short report. I pick up my phone and see I got a couple messages. I skip to the one from Kam, vowing I’ll look at the others when I get home.

Nurse Kameron: Aww thanks for texting me. (Heart emoji) You made me smile. It’s been a day, but it’s better now. (Smiley face emoji) 

Nurse Kameron: Sorry I missed you. It’s now 10PM, so I’m turning in. Work again in AM. Hope your night went quickly. Drive safe, I’ll be dreaming of you. (Winky face emoji). Hope I can see you again soon. 

I arrive home to pack my clinical supplies for the morning. I have to stop and collect information for clinical practicum Monday morning, because I’m still on the ICU. If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll see Kam tomorrow or Monday AM. Everything gathered for morning, bedtime routine completed, I set my alarm, and hop into bed. As usual, I study until I cannot keep my eyes open and then fall into a dream filled with Kameron:

We are in Kameron’s apartment, on her couch like the other night. Kam is straddling my legs, my arms around her low back and hips, caressing her lovingly. I can feel the emotions in my dream as strongly as I did Friday evening. I am so attracted to Kam and feeling highly aroused; arousal is unusual for me when with another person, I’m usually just nervous or scared. The only way I’ve explored my $exual feelings is through self exploration. This however, is what I’ve imagined a physical relationship should be like. We are tongue tied, moving to get closer, and filled with passion. Clothes just feel wrong between us and Kam takes her shirt off over her head in one quick move. She moves back in to kiss me again, but I put my hands on her shoulders and stop her, holding her back as I openly look at her pale skin, untouched by the sun,unlike her arms and legs. She has on a beautiful, lacy bra that pushes her breasts up and closer together. Briefly meeting her eyes, I see her breathing has quickened, her cheeks are pink, and her pupils look dilated. I’m relieved to know this is affecting her just as much as me. I run my index finger from one shoulder, lightly along the top edge of her bra, feeling her soft skin, all the way to the other shoulder. When my finger brushed the top edge of her mounding breasts, she sucked in a breath and it sounded like she fought not to moan. With Kam, even in my dream, I feel bold. I move my hand to her neck and then close it around her hair as I move her head away from me. My lips meet the skin under her ear and I begin to nip, lick, and kiss her skin. Slowly I moved down her chin to her neck, and then licked where my finger had gone. I feel Kam shudder and cannot help but smile. My hands navigate to her back, to the closure on her bra. Making eye contact I ask,  “May I?”

Kameron’s cheeks become red as she nods while saying, “yes,” quietly and slightly breathlessly.

I unfasten the closure, slide her bra off her shoulders, and allow it to land on the floor. I move my hands to cup both her breasts and tenderly kiss her lips again. For me, this is about being closer, intimacy. I want to be as close to Kam as possible and hopefully make her feel good in the process. Of course this is all new to me, so I’m going mostly on instinct and what I’ve learned from movies and what others have told me feels good. 

Kam suddenly pulls back, stands up, looks toward her bedroom then back at me, as she holds her hand out to me… Am I ready for this yet? With anyone else, I’d say ‘no’. With Kam… it just feels right. I place my hand in hers and she leads me to her bedroom.