Inside a Nerd's Mind

Dear Diary II: Lotso

Dear Diary,

Lucid dreaming, it is where the dreamer is aware that they are currently dreaming, another cool feature that the brain has. We’re not exactly sure why we dream or what the meaning of our dreams are and now we can suddenly be aware that we are dreaming and even control it if your subconscious is strong enough.

I remember I had this dream once. I was around 9 years old and I remember that I enjoyed watching YouTubers play horror games and I was also into shooting / military games such as Call of Duty.

In the dream, I remember I was inside our home sitting on my chair using the computer doing my usual routine, playing computer games all night, when I noticed a lot of blue and red blinking lights outside my window. My ear was plugged with headphones so I wasn’t able to hear but when I removed it, it was a police siren. I looked outside and there were like 5 police cars in a formation, they were setting up a roadblock. I saw the policemen hurrying, setting-up barriers, landmines, and everything they can do to stop who knows what. Then after a while, they all stopped and stood formation behind the barriers carrying automatic machine guns and rocket launchers. I thought that they were probably overequipped to handle a simple car chase or person. I mean, maybe a pistol or a rifle would be enough. What could possibly be there for them to have this kind of firepower?

Then I heard helicopter rotors flying in the sky getting nearer and louder every second. The surroundings were getting loud, several police sirens from several police cars and two helicopter rotor engines mixing with each other. My ears can’t take it anymore, I was going to get back to my desk when I heard something. It was a roar – not an ordinary lion roar or a human voice. But a dinosaur like roar. It was loud and it was deep. It was scary and it was also long as f**k. The roar took almost 10 seconds and on each second my body would undergo different stages of fright. “WHAT THE f**k WAS THAT?” I asked myself. As the helicopter rotors were getting louder, I also felt heavy stomps – heavy foot stomps. It was like an earthquake. For every stomp that it did, every equipment in my room would vibrate. The helicopter rotors were getting louder as the heavy stomps was getting stronger. Then I entered into a new stage of fright, a fright on where I did not only fear dying but I feared that I was already dead and there was nothing else I can do. With fear overtaking me and no hope left from my body, I turned to the window and just tried to watch the whole situation. I realized this is no ordinary being – this is a monster.

The helicopter rotors were getting louder as if a jet engine was beside my ear. The heavy stomps were getting stronger that I would jump an inch from the ground every time. Then, a policeman raised a closed fist. It was signal to get ready and stand by. After a while, the monster turned the corner. It was at the end of the street; my window wasn’t able to see as it wasn’t big enough but I could already feel it. The policeman forwarded his arms and they open fired. Oh! It was a huge mistake. It only made the monster angrier. I realized this when the frequency of the stomps doubled that it was like running or charging towards the police while it was screaming. “ROOOOOAR!” it said. Then, there it is. I saw the monster. It was… eerie. It was a giant bear – no, not a wild bear but a toy bear. It was a giant pink grungy ripped-out bear, kind of like Lotso from Toy Story 3. Oh! That’s probably why I had that dream. I probably just finished watching Toy Story 3 and Lotso probably frightened me that much.

So, a giant pink bear is running around wrecking buildings and causing havoc in the city and it somehow ends up outside of my doorstep at the edge of town.

What a luck!

It was charging towards the roadblock and the police were throwing everything they have to it. All the bullets, grenades, rocket launchers that you can think of. It was so loud and noisy that you’re playing a war movie on your TV and your ears are next to the speakers. But I didn’t let that affect me. What I was seeing was so awesome that I just had to keep watching. I laid my eyes on the battlefield listening to every sound their weapons make and the monster’s roar. “BOOM POW POW PEW PEW ROOOOAR BOOM BOOM BRRRRRRRT.” It was music to my ears. The monster was charging with everything that it has got. I’ve noticed that the monster keeps taking hits and damage from the barrage of fire that it keeps receiving. If the police keep this rate of fire up then they might be able to stop the monster. But by every fire it receives, it gets getting angrier and it charges faster kind of like The Hulk but in pink bear form.

Suddenly, reinforcements arrived. You can hear engines and wheels rolling on the ground and jet engines soaring through the skies. It’s the military and they brought the whole cavalry. You could see the ground swarming with foot soldiers, trucks, humvees, and even tanks. In the skies, you can see helicopters and jet planes in a star formation converging into the monster.

At this moment, the monster saw this. It took a second to look far in front and then in the skies.

It knew that it was the end and that there was no escape.

Until it looked on its left.

It saw our house.

A possible escape I think it thought.

Without a moment’s hesitation, it charged through the house and broke down our door.

I felt the floor shake and that the house’s foundations were collapsing.

I immediately got under my bed to protect myself from the falling debris.

I closed my eyes and hoped for it to stop.

I hoped that I would survive.

I tried opening my eyes again and the shaking stopped.

There were no debris.

Nothing has been knocked out.

My room is perfectly the way it is, the way I remember it to be.

Nothing was moved, not even a centimeter.

I stood up and walked towards the center of my room.

I looked around the room in astonishment.

Nothing really was moved.

I started to walk towards my window and look outside.

It was bright as day.

There were no soldiers, no military trucks, no Humvees, no tanks, and no fighter jets.

There were even no guns, no police cars, and barricades.

There were no bullet casings, no trace of explosives, and no shrapnel on the road.

“That was weird.” I thought to myself.

I’m pretty sure that I just witnessed a battlefield just outside my home, and now, there’s even no trace of it.

As I was looking outside the window, I felt three tremors, “DUM DUM DUM” it said as it felt like coming from inside the house.

I reckon that the monster is still probably inside the house.

Slowly, with my hands trembling, I approached the door knob.

I twisted the door knob, opened it, and made a creaking sound.

I closed my eyes and hoped that the monster wasn’t able to hear it.

I slowly opened the door, “CREAAAAAAAK” it said more.

I kept opening it and it kept creaking.

The door was already half opened, I figured that I could already fit there so I squeezed my body and slowly walked outside.

And there I was, outside, got more confused as ever.

Every thing inside the house has quadrupled its size.

The door, the stairs, the tables, the flower pots, the windows, they’re all massive.

I was baffled as ever.

I looked at my bedroom door and it was still the normal size while everything else was huge. It was as if I was a rat inside the house.

I entered my room and double-checked everything and it was still in its normal size.

I went outside the room and it was still huge.

“What the f**k is going on here!” I questioned everything.

“DUM DUM DUM” I felt it again and this time, it was getting nearer and nearer.

I immediately felt scared.

 “LUB DUB LUB DUB,” I can hear my heart beating loudly

I looked around to check where I can hide.

I saw a big cabinet just around the stairs. I ran towards it, panting, and with everything that I can. I hid underneath hoping that the monster wouldn’t see me.

“DUM DUM DUM DUM” It was getting nearer and louder.

And I saw the bear.

It was as scary as ever.

It was like one of those Five Nights at Freddy’s animatronics except this monster was massive, pink, and can roar.

The monster walked to where I was standing before, it took a whole minute to look around and check whoever was moving.

Luckily, it walked right past me.

I was able to get down the stairs but the steps were so massive that it took all of my body and energy. With every step, run, and climb that I do, I was trembling with fear; fear that the monster may see or hear me and come for me.

At last, my misery is almost over. I can see the light outside the door. It’s shining for me, it’s craving for me, it’s calling me.

“DUM DUM DUM DUM” I heard it again, the rumbling, the shaking, the heavy steps.

The fear is all coming back to me.

This time, it stopped beside me – literally just beside my face, I can see every strand of hair and every sew of thread in its foot. I was caving inside my body in fear. I was trying not to move and even not to breath. But I just can’t stand it, I looked up and saw its face.

It was grungy, broken, and shattered like a ruined castle. There was a scar that lined its eyebrows to its lips. One-fourth of its face is cut down and its mouth had hundreds of pointy teeth that it resembles a hungry shark ready to feast on the nearest fish.

I closed my eyes and held my tears.

Luckily again, I felt it go away.

I looked at the door again. I felt hope in my heart.

I looked around the surroundings and I didn’t see it anywhere nearby.

I took this opportunity as my one chance to escape.

I didn’t think of anything else.

I ran.

I ran and ran and ran with all my heart and with all my soul.

I didn’t care how much noise I made from my footsteps and panting.

I reached the door but the door handle was hundreds of meters high up.

I lost all my hope as I saw the monster come again to my direction.

“ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAR!” It screamed a battle cry as it noticed me beside the door.

I kneeled and prayed to God to save me.

I didn’t know what else to do, might as well ask for forgiveness, we may get a chance to enter heaven, we may never know.

Until the door opened, what entered shocked me.

It was a Giant Rambo, approximately the same size of the pink giant killer bear.

Giant Rambo opened fire on the monster but it didn’t kill it, only temporarily stopped it.

The monster roared again.

Giant Rambo looked at me, “RUN!” He commanded.

I didn’t think twice and ran outside.

The monster kept charging towards Giant Rambo with all its power but Giant Rambo is almost out of bullets.

“DIEEEEEE YOUUUU MONSTEEEEER!” He said as he stepped outside the house, into the lawn, not being able to stop the monster.

And then helicopter rotors were heard from the sky.

It was a Giant Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“GET TO DA CHOPAAA” He screamed as the helicopter landed on the lawn.

I followed what Arnold said and climbed unto the chopper.

However, Arnold dropped onto the ground and open fired on the monster.

“Do you need a help friend?” Arnold said to Rambo, smiling, as he got beside him.

The helicopter ascends and I before I know it, I was already in the air.

I looked down and the last sight that I saw was Giant Rambo and Giant Arnold shooting the pink giant toy bear monster.

The bear got to them and devoured them.

And that’s what I remembered from that dream.