Inside a Nerd's Mind

Living and Dreaming

I walked down the classroom isle as I sit back down on my chair.

“Wow, that was amazing, Ethan.” complimented Jeremy as Zachary stands to pat my back while Kim smiles at me.

“I’ve never seen you do anything like that!” amazed Kim.

“It seems like you have the inner story teller in you.” joked Zachary.

“It’s just luck.” I giggled.

“Wow, bow down to the humble king.” quipped Zachary.

“That was some splendid storytelling there, Ethan.” The teacher remarked. “That was a great way to start our class for this year.” He added.

He turned backwards, grabbed a whiteboard marker, and wrote something on the board.

“Where are my manners? Let me introduce myself. My name is Mr. Adams, A – D – A – M – S, for those of you who can’t spell properly.” He chuckled. “Welcome to English 401,” he said.

“Wow!” I was amazed. “An English clash with a fun English teacher. I can’t wait what he has in store for us.” I was excited.

I was excited for this class, Mr. Adams seemed like a fun teacher. He seemed like the guy who would go out of his way to make the class happy and lively. My previous English teachers were the worst. They’re usually those strict boomer grammar-nazis who’s going to make your lives miserable even if you did one single mistake. WELL, I’M SORRY MRS. ELSA IF I MISPRONOUNCED THOUGH LAST YEAR AND YOU HAD TO GIVE ME A 30 MINUTE LECTURE ABOUT THE CORRECT PRONOUNCIATION IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. You would learn to curse those kinds of teachers. They encourage resentment rather than actual learning. Those were the classes that you just wished to have a low grade or be absent rather than actually listen to them blabbering bullshit for an hour. And if you do attend it, it’ll make you feel like you’re in hell, that you’ll take every possible chance to get out or make time fast. I reckon someone would have sold his soul to the devil just to escape this hellhole. I may be overreacting but that’s how I felt every second I am in that class. But with him, my thoughts on English class might change. Let’s see.

“But this isn’t your usual English class.” He smirked.

“What?” a surprised Jeremy whispered.

“What is he gonna make us do? Is he gonna teach English using mathematical equations?” Jeremy quipped.

“Maybe he’s just going to use unorthodox methods of learning, kind of those in the movie Dead Poets Society.” Zachary remarked.

Ahhh. Dead Poets Society. What a classic! Do you know that movie? Have you watched it yet? I would recommend it, 10/10. It’s one of Robin Williams’s best and it’s the kind of movie that would put you on your toes, makes you appreciate your live while living it, and makes you admire the beauty of the English language.

There are two quotes that I liked from the movie and it made me rethink my whole life.

“Carpe Diem, Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.” If you think about it, we all are a flesh-walking ticking time bomb on where some day, when that time runs out, the bomb within us will explode and will exterminate our life. We don’t have every time in the world. “Eternity” and “Forever” are two words that any human life wouldn’t accomplish. The universe won’t adjust for us. We are lucky enough that we are able to live on this beautiful Earth for a long time already, let’s not push our luck more by wanting to spend an eternity here. I mean, what would you even do if you grow old? Isn’t 60 years of life already enough for a human being? Some people, when they’re already in their senior years, are just waiting for Death to walk on their door step. They’ve done everything that they wanted to do and now they’re satisfied living. Or perhaps, they spend the remaining years of their lives miserable, regretting, as they haven’t really done everything that they wanted to do. Would you rather live your life with regrets or would you rather simply, live your own life? Romanticize your life, take pretty pictures, feel like the main character, light up a candle, read books, go for a walk, dance to your favorite music, buy yourself presents, get excited about the stars, moons, and sunsets, do whatever you want, be happy - this is your life, don’t let anyone take it from you. Life is a beach, find your wave and surf it. Seize the day. Because one day, you might not be alive to seize it anymore.

“Medicine, law, business, engineering – these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love – these are what we stay alive for.” Children today are taught to study hard at schools so that they can enter college or graduate Medical or Engineering school, so that we can have a good job, a good career, and have a sustainable life. We are told to study hard; we are told to get a good job. But we aren’t taught how to live, we aren’t inspired or motivated on why we should live, we aren’t helped to make our own business and be the CEO of our lives. Yes, they may be necessary to have a good life or to give your kids a wonderful life. But, is this the only way? Why are we taught to get a job, to follow our boss’s orders? Why can’t we make our own job, to be our own boss? Do we only need to focus on our Science? On increasing our intelligence? On improving our knowledge? It may be smart to focus on the aspects of science or on matters of curiosity but it’s wiser to appreciate the elements of arts that the human civilization has expressed for over millions of years. No matter what anyone tells you, you have the wheel that will pave a path to a successful and passionate life. No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas can change the world. Some people may say that poetry doesn’t have anything to do with going to college, studying to be an Engineer or a Doctor, or even to be President one day. I can study to be a doctor while painting as a hobby. I can study Engineering while doing theatre in my spare time. I can be the President while also being a music composer. Poetry isn't something we read or write because it's sweet. We know how to read and to write. We know how to impress and express. And the human race wants to impress and likes to express their passion.

A quote by Walt Whitman was mentioned in the movie, “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”

Whitman and Robin Williams refer to the verse as the legacy you must leave in the world. The powerful play relates to our ability to affect others in our daily life.

We exist in this world to find our verse, our mission, and we must live out that mission in this one chance we have at life, this one chance we have to let our flame flicker and let the water flow within us.

How about you? What will your verse be?

“In this English class, I’m not going to just teach you Subject-Verb agreements or Grammatical laws.” He declared.

“No, in this English class, I will let you soar through the skies like an eagle,” he said as he imitated an eagle sound.  

“I will let you run through the wilderness like a cheetah,” he said as he roared loud and proud.

“And I will let you dominate the oceans like a great white shark.” He boasted as his right hand made a wave gesture.

Everyone was mesmerized. You can see that everyone in the class was hooked in as all of our eyes were locked in towards Mr. Adams. I don’t know whether they were pretty amazed or shocked or weirded out. But me, personally, I felt inspired like I can move mountains with just my bare hands.

“Soon, afterward, you would be able to move mountains with just your bare hands.” He bragged.

“Hey, that’s what I just said.” I thought to myself.

“But, how? You ask.” Mr. Adams said. “How am I going to be like an eagle, a cheetah, or a great white shark or maybe even move mountains with just my puny hands?” He added.

“It’s simple, really.” He smirked. “You just have to believe.” He encouraged.

Last minute ago, we were all hooked, convinced. But after he said those words, half of my classmates laughed and turned away. It was just an illogical claim; Heck! It was an impossible dream. How are we going to move mountains if we just believe? I just can’t believe to be the CEO of Google and I’d be the CEO immediately. I just can’t go on live television and say “I believe I can fly” and jump off a cliff. That’s nonsense!

“You don’t believe me, do you?” He asked.

He looked at the class and he got mixed answers from facial expressions, gestures, and murmuring.

“Well then, let’s see what you have. What do you want to be when you grow up? What is your dream?” He wondered.

He gave us five minutes to ready an answer.

Then, he called on students.

“You, the boy with the glasses, what is your dream?” He asked.

“I want to be a chemist.” The boy with the glasses answered.

“Wow! Very convenient. Perhaps you’ll be the person who’ll be able to make the drug against cancer.” He remarked.

“You, the girl in front with the pony tail, what is your dream?” He asked.

“I want to be a dentist.” The girl with the pony tail answered.

“Hmm, awesome. Perhaps you’ll be the dentist that’ll make sure everyone in the world will have complete clean teeth.” He commented.

“You, the boy with the cap beside the window, what is your dream?” He asked.

“Me?” the boy with the cap beside the window asked back.

“Yes, you. What are you staring beside the window that is more important to this class?” He questioned.

“Uhhh… there was-“

“Nevermind. What is your dream?” He asked again.

“Uhhh… I want to become… like Lebron James.” the boy stuttered.

“You want to become like Lebron?” He asked.

“Yes.” the boy answered.

“Instead of that, say that you want to become a better basketball or NBA player than Lebron.” Mr. Adams suggested.

The boy with the cap beside the window was confused.

“I mean, if you are going to live your single life, why in the world do you want to re-live another person’s life?” He wondered. “You can be yourself while you can still be the basketball player that you dream to be.” He remarked while he winked at the boy.

“Just don’t wish to be another person when you can be yourself.” Mr. Adams advised.

“And lastly, you, the boy at the back row. What is your dream?” He asked as he pointed at me.

Suddenly, all the waves of nervousness hit me. It was like I became an old man with Alzheimer’s that I forgot who I am and who I wanted to be.

“Uhhh…”

“Yes? Mr. Narrator?” Mr. Adams asked.

“Uhhh…”

“Please stand up.” He requested.

I stood up as I thought and hard.

“What is your dream?” He repeated.

“Uhhh… I want to… I want to be… a… computer scientist.” I stuttered.

“Hmm… wonderful! What a useful career in today’s generation. Perhaps someday you’ll be the one to replace Bill Gates as the pioneer of future technology.” He chuckled as he turned away and walked towards the front of the class.

I sat down and sighed.

He turned back and looked at us seriously.

“You see, your dreams… they’re all noble… they’re all respectable… they’re reliable in sustaining future generations,” he said. “But-“ as he raised his index finger, “they’re all weak… and small.” He judged.

“Pssshh” murmured Zachary as he turned his head away.

“Who does he think he is?” I heard from one of my classmates in the other row.

My classmates were once again in disbelief. I think most of them has stopped listening to Mr. Adams by now. But I still kept my eyes and ears at him as what he was saying was interesting. It may be different, but it’s the good kind of different.

 “How would you be able to dig the treasure if you don’t know where X marks the spot?” He asked. “In this class, I’ll not only tell you what to dream but show you how to achieve that dream.” He boasted.

“But first, let me tell you how to dream.” He said.

“It is typical for our parents to say ‘Dream high’ when we were children. Some parents might even say, ‘That kid’s dream is high. He wants to be a doctor someday.’ But what if we change our way of dreaming from dreaming high into dreaming deep. In our world, dreams are expressed in height and not depth, that is why metaphors for dreams usually involves soaring through the skies, touching the clouds, or reaching for the stars. While depth, they’re more involved with emotions, the way we feel, how we feel, what we feel; that is why we are inclined to describe anger or love as deep and not great nor tall. It’s curious, isn’t it? How would a child’s perception change when they are told to dream deep rather than dreaming high? Dreaming deep is when your dreams fueled by strong emotions, longing and desire. What will happen if a child’s dream was fueled with emotion? Would they see themselves with more purpose? Would they be more inspired or motivated to reach their purpose? Now, to you, rather than dreaming high, try to dream deep; rather than being a person with high qualification or education, try to be a person for the homeless, for the poor, for the human society. Rather than having wings to fly, you will have the roots to grow.” He explained.

“There is this quote by Rabindranath Tagore, in which he says, ‘Reach high, for stars lie hidden in you. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.’” He added.

And at that time, I caught myself staring at him, listening to the wise words that flows out of his mouth. And there I knew, this class will surely be interesting.